A Son's Love with Guest Dr. George Ackerman

[00:00:03] After over 25 years of marriage, we've learned that successful couples have great friendships, put each other first, and focus on light just as much as love. We believe marriage should be fun and easy.

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[00:01:42] Now, on with the show.

[00:01:44] We'd like to welcome you back to the Beyond I Do podcast.

[00:02:01] We have a special, special guest with us today by the name of Dr. George Ackerman.

[00:02:08] Dr. George Ackerman comes to us to discuss Parkinson's disease.

[00:02:13] He has journeyed from being an attorney to a caregiver for his mother who passed from Parkinson's disease in 2020.

[00:02:24] And he's become an advocate for her, for people who family members suffer with Parkinson's disease, as well as caregivers and those alike.

[00:02:36] He supports the Parkinson's community, and he's here to share with us some of the attributes of dealing with the relative and fighting the fight for Parkinson's disease.

[00:02:48] So we'd like to welcome you, Dr. George Ackerman.

[00:02:52] Thank you both.

[00:02:53] I appreciate your time and your audience.

[00:02:55] It means more than just a thank you.

[00:02:57] So I send our love and support to everyone out there and thank you for your time.

[00:03:01] Thank you so much.

[00:03:03] And thank you for joining us.

[00:03:04] So if you would, he touched on your journey beginning as an attorney and the interesting twist that you went through because of your desire to advocate for others.

[00:03:18] If you would let us know a little bit about yourself and what that journey looked like.

[00:03:23] Sure.

[00:03:24] Yeah, I mean, I've always been an advocate.

[00:03:25] I think it's what my mother instilled in me to serve others and to help others who might not have a voice or struggle themselves.

[00:03:33] You know, you have to concentrate if you have the disease or family on that specific area.

[00:03:38] But before my world of caregiving and advocacy, I always wanted to help victims of crime, but I just wasn't sure how to do it.

[00:03:45] I had a lot of different opportunities and never dreamt I would be where I am today, whether telling the story of my mother's journey or in the field of criminal justice.

[00:03:55] But I grew up in Brooklyn, New York.

[00:03:58] So unfortunately, I grew up with a lot of crime in the area and always thought, well, you know, there are victims and then there are family members of victims.

[00:04:06] I need to step up and speak up for them if they feel forgotten by society.

[00:04:12] I was able to become an attorney and worked as an intern at the prosecutor's office and also worked on the defense side afterwards and got to see right up close the legal system.

[00:04:23] And I found that being a lawyer in Washington, D.C. and Florida just didn't have the time I wanted to really help victims who just had too many cases.

[00:04:31] So it was like case to case to case. You can't even really talk.

[00:04:35] So I decided to go another area because the criminal justice system, not to get too complicated, made up of law enforcement courts and corrections.

[00:04:44] That's the three big pieces to the criminal justice system.

[00:04:48] So I didn't really enjoy being in jail. I've been there before.

[00:04:53] I actually brought students on doors and it wasn't a good thing because they were individuals in prison, incarcerated.

[00:05:01] I would throw things at the students and I can't describe what.

[00:05:04] So that way they wasn't.

[00:05:06] But I did appreciate the people that worked in the jails.

[00:05:09] And there's a lot of good people who are trying to make a better life for themselves, even after.

[00:05:15] I've actually been a professor since 2006 and actually teach in a prison through the online correspondence.

[00:05:23] But, you know, those individuals also need to be able to move on, but also rehabilitate and gain education so they can better themselves, their families and society.

[00:05:33] So being a police officer, I went to the Miami Academy in Florida and found, again, you get too many calls.

[00:05:41] So you're told, you know, some ways to hand a brochure and move to the next call.

[00:05:45] So I still kind of struggled.

[00:05:47] That's not really what I wanted to do to help or make it.

[00:05:50] You can make an impact, but not individually because you have to move on.

[00:05:54] So I was lucky enough to do my Ph.D. and become a professor, but my dissertation was on aiding African-American mothers who lost their loved ones due to murder in West Palm Beach, Florida.

[00:06:05] And it's an epidemic, not just in West Palm, but just when you do a research study, you have to kind of pick a specific population and sample.

[00:06:12] But this little study could definitely be duplicated throughout the United States.

[00:06:16] And, again, sometimes it's not just the police toll.

[00:06:20] It's also the community.

[00:06:21] It's also awareness.

[00:06:22] But a lot of times you have a victim of crime, sadly, the worst, murder.

[00:06:26] But the family members become secondary victims and often are forgotten.

[00:06:31] Maybe there's a ton of time or people staff to help the victims.

[00:06:34] I mean, I know in Palm Beach County we might have three to six victims advocates for like three or four million people.

[00:06:41] It's not enough.

[00:06:43] So I was really lucky again to work on that area.

[00:06:47] And then I had to shift to my world of caregiving.

[00:06:50] My mother had Parkinson's disease.

[00:06:52] And, again, I never knew what it was.

[00:06:54] I heard the word for about seven, eight years.

[00:06:57] But it never impacted my mother so bad that it kind of crippled her life.

[00:07:02] Or we still aren't sure if she just didn't want to burden the family, which I think she kept a lot of it inside and didn't share it.

[00:07:09] But when I took over the last four years, it was something that even a book that she wrote can't explain 100%.

[00:07:16] It definitely captures 99%.

[00:07:18] But in an actual time, there's no way to get to it.

[00:07:21] That's why I was really excited to share her journey forever through a book.

[00:07:25] But she went to over 15 experts.

[00:07:30] I'm not a medical doctor.

[00:07:31] But they all said, you don't die of Parkinson's.

[00:07:33] You die with it.

[00:07:34] And there's a misconception, I think, because maybe she didn't die of Parkinson's.

[00:07:38] But all the medicines definitely weren't good for anyone's body or mind.

[00:07:43] So one day she went for a special trial.

[00:07:47] You know, people go for trials.

[00:07:48] They're hoping that it'll change or save other people.

[00:07:52] And that night she came back.

[00:07:54] I don't know if they drastically changed her medicine, but I had to rush over at 4 a.m., got a frantic call from my father in New York.

[00:08:01] And we're in Florida.

[00:08:03] My mother, I found at 4 a.m., outside of her house, moving her furniture, saying that she thought there's Nazis inside and they were going to harm her.

[00:08:10] So I didn't really know what to do.

[00:08:13] You might be trained in police, but that's not.

[00:08:15] You can't take a class on caregiving or being taught.

[00:08:18] You just have to do it.

[00:08:19] So I knew it was time to step up.

[00:08:22] Kind of did a lot of it on my own.

[00:08:25] I luckily have my wife's support and children, but we have a smaller family.

[00:08:29] She didn't really have anyone.

[00:08:31] She lives alone.

[00:08:32] So I decided the best way to do it is to be there for her 24-7.

[00:08:38] So I sacrificed a lot of my help, which you're not supposed to do then as a caregiver and also today as an advocate because I do all this today in her memory.

[00:08:46] But for those who are battling the disease and their families, but also in memory of the millions of people we've lost due to this disease.

[00:08:55] And that's what kind of keeps me going today.

[00:08:59] Oh, wow.

[00:08:59] So you said that she lived for 15 years with the disease and it was the last four years when you had to step up and become a full-time caregiver.

[00:09:13] How was that?

[00:09:15] Was it just that quick of a transition or were there plans in place?

[00:09:22] Had you all spoke about this prior to that transition?

[00:09:26] Yeah, part of the problem is that we were told so many times that you don't die of Parkinson's, you die with it.

[00:09:32] So it was very hard to even plan.

[00:09:33] I mean, thankfully, my mother was very plan-oriented and time-management like me.

[00:09:38] We take a list of, you know, we make a list.

[00:09:40] We try to knock off each part, but then you have a backup plan.

[00:09:43] But with Parkinson's, it was out the window each time.

[00:09:46] But we did try, you know, I wrote a list of everything, like from doctors to chiropractors to pain management to anything you could dream.

[00:09:53] And we even had, and this is a funny story,

[00:09:55] is a Florida finally allowed medical marijuana licenses.

[00:09:59] And here's a cop who's not really for all that stuff.

[00:10:03] I remember I went to the store before we decided to do the license,

[00:10:08] because you have to be licensed.

[00:10:09] And I felt like it was Mission Impossible music.

[00:10:12] And I was like, there were video cameras,

[00:10:15] but I was scared I'm going to get in trouble even though everything was late.

[00:10:46] Right.

[00:10:47] I was like, I'm going to get in trouble.

[00:10:57] We had 1 million people in the U.S., 10 million throughout the world.

[00:11:01] And also there's something called Young Onset, like Mr. Michael J. Fox, a famous actor.

[00:11:05] He had it in his 30s.

[00:11:07] He still has it today.

[00:11:08] Right.

[00:11:08] So it's not something that, you know, can just go away.

[00:11:12] But she did.

[00:11:13] She went from before those four years to walking several miles a week to two years in a cane,

[00:11:19] then to the walker for a year, then a wheelchair and a bed bound for seven days.

[00:11:23] So it was so fast and shocking.

[00:11:25] And we tried to plan, but you can't be really prepared.

[00:11:29] And that's the worry is every person with Parkinson's is different.

[00:11:33] So it doesn't mean what happened to my mother.

[00:11:35] Our journey will happen to another person.

[00:11:38] But it's important to understand, to plan.

[00:11:41] My mother was incredible because she already, we did a will.

[00:11:44] I was her power of attorney.

[00:11:45] And we had all the end of life funeral planned and done.

[00:11:48] Now, again, we didn't think she was going to pass,

[00:11:50] but you know how much grief on top of whatever loss it brings.

[00:11:55] So she was like literally a saint from heaven to have that

[00:11:58] because I gave a speech at her funeral and that was a nightmare.

[00:12:03] But I just imagine if, you know, afterwards it would have been 10.

[00:12:07] I could have had another book on the mess after if you don't have it all properly.

[00:12:12] Right.

[00:12:13] And we've both lost our mothers.

[00:12:16] Mine was very unexpected.

[00:12:18] It was a car accident.

[00:12:20] So I can attest to, you know, it's like a, it's everything is different.

[00:12:26] And in the midst of that, the planning and things.

[00:12:29] So that's.

[00:12:30] Mine was health issues and kind of like, it wasn't a disease necessarily,

[00:12:35] but, you know, she was just, we watched her deteriorate over time.

[00:12:40] And we had a discussion and we were like, I don't know if, what is better?

[00:12:46] You know, the instant or watching them die.

[00:12:49] Right.

[00:12:50] It was.

[00:12:50] Yeah.

[00:12:51] I felt the same thing because the last seven days in Florida, we do not,

[00:12:54] we don't have death but dignity.

[00:12:56] So we treat our animals better than our loved ones.

[00:12:58] Oh, yes.

[00:12:59] Yes.

[00:12:59] Definitely.

[00:12:59] And, you know, those seven days, we didn't know if she was going to pass when,

[00:13:03] but she had only a heartbeat, but didn't have any ability to speak, eat, nothing.

[00:13:08] So it was like, you know, a scene out of a horror movie that you don't want to be able to do.

[00:13:14] Yes.

[00:13:14] So were there, with her diagnosis, were there signs or like what types of things signaled her that I need to go and be seen?

[00:13:30] Or were there things?

[00:13:31] Or was it something that was, you know, just found during a routine checkup?

[00:13:36] Yeah.

[00:13:36] There's different stages of Parkinson's.

[00:13:38] Most people aren't even aware that they say there's five.

[00:13:40] The first stage is where, again, Parkinson's, the movement disorder.

[00:13:44] So now I always say, like, imagine I want to put a thumbs up to both of you to thank you for today.

[00:13:49] And I consider you both family because this is not, you know, easy topics.

[00:13:53] And this has to, the conversation that has to continue beyond this.

[00:13:56] But my brain is saying to put the middle finger up.

[00:14:00] Well, Parkinson's, the brain, you might be saying it, but you can't actually do the act.

[00:14:05] So I wouldn't be able to.

[00:14:06] So it's a movement disorder.

[00:14:08] And some of the symptoms, and again, I won't go too into the stages, but the first few, it's a body movement, like rigidity.

[00:14:16] Some individuals, like Michael J. Fox, have the external tremors.

[00:14:19] My mother had more internal.

[00:14:21] Also, something called bradykinesia.

[00:14:23] It's like the slowness of the body.

[00:14:25] Difficulty walking, but you can still, and facial expression, but you can still live independently.

[00:14:30] Stage two gets more where walking and balance starts to become an issue.

[00:14:34] And that was a problem because I knew if my mother fell, then she could have broken something.

[00:14:38] It would have been 10 times even worse.

[00:14:40] So it was already passed up.

[00:14:42] Stage three is where, unfortunately, it's the mid-stage where you start losing balance, slowness of movement.

[00:14:48] But you can still, again, you know, eat and live.

[00:14:51] Unfortunately, the worst is stage four and then five, where stage four, you really can't.

[00:14:56] It's almost impossible to live alone.

[00:14:57] Because a lot of the daily things, even going to the bathroom, shower, are impaired.

[00:15:02] But the fifth stage is where now, which my mother had, is delusions and hallucinations come in.

[00:15:07] And those are more torture than the Parkinson's at times because those are where you're not seeing reality.

[00:15:14] I mean, sometimes it's kind of my mother would joke and say she saw her little dog and her mother and father,

[00:15:19] but they were passed away for decades.

[00:15:21] So I would just look at her and I would not laugh, but kind of don't know what to say.

[00:15:25] You know, you don't want to lie.

[00:15:26] And she would even ask me, you know, is she going to be here for her grandkids' wedding?

[00:15:30] And I couldn't.

[00:15:31] I said, I don't know.

[00:15:32] But that's the, and it doesn't just affect the, you know, movement.

[00:15:35] It also affects the brain, but also loss of smell.

[00:15:39] Constipation with my mother was a big problem because the drug destroyed her stomach.

[00:15:43] So she didn't sleep 24-7.

[00:15:45] So we had to hire people so I could sleep for a minute.

[00:15:48] And that was $12,000 a month for several months because we swore to her we wouldn't put her in a home.

[00:15:53] And I had no problem with home to just, I told my mother we wouldn't.

[00:15:56] There were days that were like, if you read the book, I kind of gave up and wanted to put her in one,

[00:16:01] but I never ended up with it.

[00:16:02] Because I'm not, you know, a trained professional.

[00:16:04] And I was horrifying seeing her, like you both said, go from like healthy weight to almost bone thin.

[00:16:11] But also finally sleep disturbances, vision problems, and weight loss.

[00:16:15] And those are just, again, you know, some of the issues or things that come from Parkinson's.

[00:16:21] Wow.

[00:16:23] Now I know that, you know, watching your parent just basically deteriorate over time.

[00:16:31] And I know that's fresh on your brain.

[00:16:36] And I know it can be challenging at times.

[00:16:40] It was challenging for you.

[00:16:42] But before, we wanted to know who was Sharon before all of this?

[00:16:48] What was Sharon's life like before even the Parkinson's diagnosis?

[00:16:53] Who was she as an individual?

[00:16:55] Yeah, like I think I mentioned, but the important thing is she was very caring.

[00:16:59] She thinks you're really selfless because she didn't want others to be burdened by her medical issues.

[00:17:07] She was a school teacher.

[00:17:09] We had nothing when I was growing up in Brooklyn, New York.

[00:17:12] We lived in a little teeny, like a, looked like a hotel with a little teeny room.

[00:17:16] And I remember it was, you know, neighbors everywhere, like a New York kind of Bronx tale De Niro movie.

[00:17:24] She worked hard and really believed both my parents in education.

[00:17:28] And I was kind of overboard with it.

[00:17:30] She's got, you know, three masters, a law degree of the police and the PhD.

[00:17:34] But I still have a lot to learn.

[00:17:36] And everyone you meet, you learn from their experiences.

[00:17:39] That's why I love being a teacher, professor, college and upper middle and doctoral because I learned from the students.

[00:17:46] My career is kind of over in a way, you know, and I can't do a lot physically due to my own back issues.

[00:17:52] So I love teaching because you get to experience, you know, younger people and all ages older in the careers and moving to another career, just moving up from, you know, high school.

[00:18:03] My daughter actually is just funny.

[00:18:05] The other day we had a little meeting for her new school for middle school.

[00:18:09] It's kind of frightening.

[00:18:10] As you probably know how quickly the kids grow and then they're bigger than you, but the nows are getting bigger.

[00:18:16] So my mother, you know, she gave everything.

[00:18:19] She gave up.

[00:18:20] She quit her teaching career and her master's in psychology to take care of me and my brother.

[00:18:26] And I knew that, you know, when it was time, I had to do not quit, but sacrifice to help her.

[00:18:31] And some reason, even though through Parkinson's, she felt at ease a little when I was with her.

[00:18:37] You know, she worried a lot.

[00:18:38] She was scared because of the disease and a lot of the medicines.

[00:18:40] And they actually can cause psychosis and mental disorders.

[00:18:43] But when I was next to her, she, I felt terrible because I couldn't do much, but she felt safe.

[00:18:50] And that was one of the biggest things that I meant to love for me.

[00:18:53] And, you know, it was hard because we had to hire the, you know, towards the end, like a staff of people.

[00:18:58] But the problem is you take a woman who's been independent and lives alone her whole life because my parents were divorced.

[00:19:03] And now you're rotating three people, strangers in.

[00:19:06] Some of them didn't know what Parkinson's was.

[00:19:08] Because one, we had, it's a whole chapter.

[00:19:11] It was a horrible, horrible experience in Florida.

[00:19:13] I feel like anyone could just say you're a caregiving company, hang up a, you know, store thing and just charge a ridiculous amount of money and rip people off.

[00:19:22] But I fired like several companies.

[00:19:24] I probably went through over 200 AIDS.

[00:19:27] And finally, towards the last month or two, we found a daytime and nighttime AIDS.

[00:19:33] And they loved my mother and she loved them.

[00:19:34] But by then, it was kind of, you know, too late.

[00:19:37] So my goal, though, was having those people wasn't that they take care of her just to make sure she didn't fall.

[00:19:43] Because like I said, if I'm not there and I knew if she fell, it would have caused even more problems on top of Parkinson's, on top of everything else.

[00:19:51] So that was important.

[00:19:52] But, you know, me and my mother had a really, I think it wasn't odd, but some people think odd bond that she was my best friend.

[00:20:00] We would talk 10 or more times a day.

[00:20:02] She was the first person I called to turn to whether I had something good, the bad, the ugly.

[00:20:08] Remember, even during 9-11, we're from New York.

[00:20:10] And I was in law school in a criminal law class, ironically.

[00:20:13] And they let us out.

[00:20:15] I saw people in the atrium, like, crying.

[00:20:17] I didn't know I was going to call my mother.

[00:20:18] And she told me the news firsthand.

[00:20:20] It was, you know, a horrible situation.

[00:20:22] But every single thing from there to every graduation, she was right by my side.

[00:20:26] So today it's tough because, you know, holidays, like Mother's Day, I don't have to.

[00:20:31] I'm not here.

[00:20:32] So obviously it's weird.

[00:20:33] We're in a struggle.

[00:20:34] I've got to celebrate for my wife.

[00:20:36] Right.

[00:20:36] I think it's upset sometimes because I hate, I don't like Mother's Day because it's not like a normal thing.

[00:20:43] My mother, I think, lost 15 years of her life living and maybe 15 after she passed because Parkinson's, I think, took 30 years of her life.

[00:20:52] So, you know, I hate the disease.

[00:20:54] I hate what it does to anyone.

[00:20:56] Some days and nights I don't sleep thinking of other people fighting this.

[00:21:00] And I don't want them to have to go through what our family did.

[00:21:03] And, you know, again, I didn't ask for this.

[00:21:05] One area I would like to talk about is we don't, I'm not a foundation of purpose.

[00:21:11] It's just me.

[00:21:12] I have a website.

[00:21:13] I lost my best friend who was my mother.

[00:21:15] But we don't accept money.

[00:21:16] Like literally, we don't accept anything except that people know we sent out love and support and I'm out there fighting for them.

[00:21:22] But I'm writing another book.

[00:21:24] It's done, which will probably take a year to edit.

[00:21:27] But there's a dark side, unfortunately, even to advocacy for Parkinson's or anything.

[00:21:31] You know, I have to somehow, I'm a lawyer, but I feel like some days I have to prove myself that I don't want anything.

[00:21:38] It's really sad.

[00:21:39] You know, 2024, you think that we know there are people out there who can do stuff for community and don't want anything.

[00:21:45] But I just had an issue the other night.

[00:21:47] I don't know if I told you both.

[00:21:48] But I'm always trying to brainstorm, be innovative, and I don't get anything for this.

[00:21:53] Like I won't curse, but I was going to say, I don't get a damn penny and I don't want it.

[00:21:58] Right.

[00:21:59] I would have liked everyone to just be nice.

[00:22:01] But I got a weird email the other day, which it's over because I blocked a person.

[00:22:06] You get wacky people online.

[00:22:07] But my goal is you have big organizations, and I love them all for Parkinson's.

[00:22:12] But I don't feel sometimes that that regular Sally or, you know, guy or gal is going to get money for maybe medicine.

[00:22:20] So I met many, many people, over 1,000 in the Parkinson's community through social media.

[00:22:26] And that's why it's incredible because it could bring people like us together for good reasons.

[00:22:30] But, you know, so I decided why not make a little section.

[00:22:34] It was going to be a little project and call it PWP, which means people with Parkinson's.

[00:22:39] And just, it's called throughout the world.

[00:22:41] And I kind of got the idea from like America's Got Talent.

[00:22:43] And we're not going to have a show.

[00:22:44] But I said, why not take like artists or athletes or all different people who unfortunately lost their life and career because of Parkinson's, but now have something else.

[00:22:53] So I love art.

[00:22:55] And my brother's an artist.

[00:22:55] So I said, why don't we, I put a little post on Facebook in a group.

[00:22:59] It was called, well, I won't say a lot, but if you look up art and Parkinson's, I'm sure you'll find it.

[00:23:04] And there's a lot of them out there.

[00:23:06] You won't be able to determine which specific.

[00:23:08] I don't want to start, you know, getting them in trouble.

[00:23:10] But so it's, you know, maybe 300, 400 people and they're artists.

[00:23:13] They have Parkinson's.

[00:23:15] So I said, why don't I just put a post and say, anyone out there, I'd like to put your art on my site and your website.

[00:23:21] And I want nothing in return.

[00:23:22] I got like inundated with beautiful looks, you know.

[00:23:25] And it's all on the website now.

[00:23:26] I'm just keeping it.

[00:23:27] So all it is, is you click on this one section under partners and you can see like art.

[00:23:32] You can contact the artist and their website.

[00:23:35] Nothing to do with me.

[00:23:36] So I feel like I'm kind of a conduit or just a person for awareness.

[00:23:40] So there was a beautiful, and I kind of finished and empowered.

[00:23:42] I had to move to the now.

[00:23:44] I'm looking into athletes and things.

[00:23:46] So again, it's all just for awareness.

[00:23:48] It's up there on my site free.

[00:23:49] We don't charge anything.

[00:23:50] So look at it or to be on the site.

[00:23:53] And so I get this weird, nasty email from, I guess, their administrators on Facebook.

[00:23:58] And it was very rude.

[00:23:59] It was like, I'm going to share one day in my book.

[00:24:01] I don't want to say the name of the person.

[00:24:02] I don't know who they are.

[00:24:03] But they wrote, we don't want, can you justify why you're asking people to put their art with you?

[00:24:10] We don't allow something like, it was a really rude word.

[00:24:14] It was almost like, not solicitation, but something accused.

[00:24:17] It was almost defamation.

[00:24:20] And obviously press delete and ignore it.

[00:24:22] But I wrote back and just said, I'm trying to help people.

[00:24:25] This is awareness.

[00:24:26] And we're supposed to be a family.

[00:24:28] Now, it got a little weird.

[00:24:30] So I just blocked them and moved on.

[00:24:31] I don't care because I'm done with this.

[00:24:33] But the sad thing isn't that one rude negative person.

[00:24:37] It's that they're going to block those 200 or 300 people who I could have helped.

[00:24:42] And now I'll never be aware of them.

[00:24:43] They won't be aware of me and share that around the world.

[00:24:46] And I have to tell you, the people who are on our site, they didn't have to be taken down.

[00:24:49] They're still there.

[00:24:50] And they've become like family.

[00:24:51] So it's just sad, you know, even in 2024.

[00:24:54] Now, that person, I don't know them, but they might have had a bad experience.

[00:24:58] I don't blame them.

[00:24:58] But you should probably be nice and just be a human being.

[00:25:03] I even said, if you want, feel free to look at my website.

[00:25:06] Speak to a thousand people who literally know me.

[00:25:10] And instead of doing that, the young lady or old lady or whatever was very rude, too.

[00:25:14] So I decided to move on and forget it.

[00:25:16] But again, it's just an example.

[00:25:19] And that's, again, what my future book will be.

[00:25:22] I don't want to give too much, but it's going to actually dedicate to the people like me in memory of all that we've lost due to Parkinson's.

[00:25:29] But I don't have Parkinson's.

[00:25:31] I'm no longer an individual caring for someone alive with Parkinson's.

[00:25:35] But I'm still a person.

[00:25:38] My mother still matters.

[00:25:39] If we had brought back all the millions, not a million.

[00:25:43] I'm talking about like 10, 20 million people who probably lost a loved one due to Parkinson's, this world would have been much better.

[00:25:49] Plus, we probably would have already had a cure.

[00:25:51] So you have to lessen quickly.

[00:25:53] I don't want to take too much time with this because it's a little wacky.

[00:25:57] But you can never in anything, forget Parkinson's, whether it's in civil rights or life or even raising kids.

[00:26:04] In my view, again, you don't have to go with what I believe.

[00:26:06] You can never let one person ever stop you from a mission.

[00:26:10] And my mission is literally only to help awareness and find a cure for Parkinson's.

[00:26:14] I don't want anything else doing a blog on this.

[00:26:17] And I even edited my website to click on togetherfasharon.com.

[00:26:21] Click about us.

[00:26:22] I had to put a whole section of how we don't want you to do it.

[00:26:25] It's like sad that you can do it.

[00:26:26] But I find it tougher to be not a foundation, even though I don't want to be because I'm a lawyer.

[00:26:32] I know how to do it.

[00:26:33] But some days it's harder to just kind of convince people that I want to help.

[00:26:37] And that's the dark side, I call it, of social media.

[00:26:41] And that'll be a nice future book.

[00:26:43] So I just want to share it because it's kind of new to me and not happy about it.

[00:26:46] I actually was accused, too, two weeks after my mother passed.

[00:26:51] And my mother didn't pass, and I'm not real.

[00:26:53] And I share everything with you.

[00:26:54] It was hard, you know.

[00:26:56] Again, I should have just moved on and went away.

[00:26:59] But I felt together for sharing.

[00:27:01] We'd have three or four people.

[00:27:02] We've had over 35,000 people visit the site.

[00:27:05] So, you know, you can't let one or two nuts in anything in life.

[00:27:08] So I back up from fighting, and it's not going to stop me.

[00:27:13] So I just want everyone out there to know, you know, we're real.

[00:27:16] I'm just me.

[00:27:17] One son lost a best friend due to Parkinson's.

[00:27:20] But, again, we don't want anything but for everyone to know that they're not alone.

[00:27:24] But, you know, that's just society in a nutshell.

[00:27:26] Right.

[00:27:28] Well, it speaks volumes that here your mom has been gone for four years, but you're still just as active and just as determined to help bring awareness and help find a cure.

[00:27:43] So that speaks volumes.

[00:27:45] Yes, and it's unfortunate that there are people who just can't believe that there are people who actually want to do good in this world.

[00:27:55] I think the problem is that, like, even horrifying things, I don't want to bring up, like 9-11 or even COVID, there were criminals, cybercrime.

[00:28:03] But the thing is, I happen to be a lawyer and a police officer.

[00:28:07] And I'm pretty ethical because I've left companies and places because I saw something weird, and I reported it.

[00:28:14] But the thing is, like, it's not Shark Tank.

[00:28:17] You know, we don't want to sell anything.

[00:28:19] We're not at, like, literally at all.

[00:28:21] Our show today might be shocking, but we're here just for awareness.

[00:28:24] You're not giving anything.

[00:28:26] I don't want anything back except love and to know everyone out there supported.

[00:28:30] So, you know, moving on, the case closed, and we keep fighting.

[00:28:34] But it is, you know, so it's an interesting society today.

[00:28:37] And, again, the great thing, I left the world of politics because it was so, you know, fighting.

[00:28:43] You can't even, even the other day, if you saw the news, even our representatives look like it's in the garden room.

[00:28:49] I don't know.

[00:28:51] I left that coming to Parkinson's because it's bipartisan.

[00:28:54] We talked, maybe we can mention the national plan to end Parkinson's that just passed.

[00:28:59] But that's all bipartisan.

[00:29:01] But even, like, it was over 400 majority voted for the bill.

[00:29:05] You got, like, six people.

[00:29:06] I won't go in.

[00:29:07] I don't know who they are, but they voted against.

[00:29:09] And part of me saying, like, how do you vote against?

[00:29:12] What is it going to hurt you to help?

[00:29:15] So, for us, for our listeners, we're learning how do we get more information?

[00:29:21] And how do we get involved in helping to bring awareness and find a cure?

[00:29:28] Yeah, I mean, one great way to check the book out, it's on togetherfisheran.com.

[00:29:33] And if we have a moment later, I can even read a little sentence or two about how my family was the only reason I got through it.

[00:29:40] I'm sure you both were there for each other.

[00:29:42] And I think without that kind of support, at least for me, I wouldn't even be able to speak to you today.

[00:29:47] And some days, you know, even the cover of the book, it's my mother and me and we're dancing at my wedding, which was one of my favorite memories of my life.

[00:29:55] Because in those two or three moments, Parkinson didn't exist.

[00:29:58] And it didn't matter.

[00:29:59] And we just talked and laughed.

[00:30:01] And it was just a moment.

[00:30:02] And even sometimes I say it, it's hard to even look at the cover.

[00:30:06] But she looked, you know, beautiful in that moment.

[00:30:08] And Parkinson doesn't define you, but it can, you know, harm your family, harm the person.

[00:30:12] But it can never take those memories away.

[00:30:14] So, the book has a lot of resources, references.

[00:30:18] It tells my journey.

[00:30:19] It talks about caregiving, my mother's signs, and also a positive message.

[00:30:24] So, I know we've talked a lot of kind of sad, tough things, but you have to talk about the tough topics to get to the good.

[00:30:30] Obviously, I lost my best friend and my mother.

[00:30:32] But today, I've met some amazing people, like both of you in your audience, who really inspire me.

[00:30:37] Like I said, some days, I don't sleep thinking about my mother and all those fighting.

[00:30:41] But then I get an email, a positive one, like from both of you, who gave me this amazing opportunity.

[00:30:46] And I don't think it'll end with just our talk.

[00:30:49] I feel like we will keep in touch.

[00:30:50] And sadly, in a way, social media, you see each other.

[00:30:54] My wife hates when I say it, but I see some of the people I've become like a little fan of it on social media.

[00:31:01] So, it's important.

[00:31:03] But that's one resource to go.

[00:31:05] For Sharon.com has so many resources.

[00:31:07] When I was going through the journey of my mother, I felt alone.

[00:31:11] I knew there was stuff out there, but I was confused and lost.

[00:31:13] So, what I tried to do on the site is literally put references and organizations like the Michael J. Fox, where they're all over the U.S. and the world globally.

[00:31:22] So, I work with people in the U.K.

[00:31:25] I just interviewed someone who's an expert in Parkinson's nurse in England.

[00:31:29] And it was a beautiful talk.

[00:31:31] It's like, I love the accent.

[00:31:32] And also, it's just a different world, but they all come together for the same purpose.

[00:31:38] So, I love it.

[00:31:39] It's beautiful.

[00:31:39] And so, there's resources on the website.

[00:31:42] You can read this.

[00:31:42] I've interviewed 600 people around the world.

[00:31:45] And every morning, a new journey shows up.

[00:31:47] And that's also what inspires me to never give up.

[00:31:50] So, you're going to have the 1,000 positive and the one negative.

[00:31:54] And you've got to just ignore the negative and keep pushing forward because there's so many important people out there that need a voice.

[00:32:00] And if I could do anything to help it, then I'll continue to do that.

[00:32:04] That's right.

[00:32:05] And that person was a troll.

[00:32:08] Just like when we're on social media, you have trolls that just, their job is just to create havoc.

[00:32:15] So, you think about it for regular things, but not when you're talking about a good cause.

[00:32:22] Right, exactly.

[00:32:23] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:32:24] I mean, I could do a show.

[00:32:26] I actually was a victim of ID theft, and I'm a lawyer and a cop, so it could happen to anybody.

[00:32:31] Oh, wow.

[00:32:31] You can't ever stop because of that.

[00:32:36] Right.

[00:32:37] Yeah, exactly.

[00:32:37] So, you mentioned maybe reading a part of the book.

[00:32:42] So, we're coming to an end.

[00:32:45] So, whatever you want to leave us with, the floor is yours.

[00:32:51] Thanks.

[00:32:52] Yeah, two very quick.

[00:32:53] But chapter four, I talk about how family support my wife, partner, and she actually wrote in the book, too, like a chapter, which was really nice.

[00:33:00] Because you see, I'm the male perspective of care for giving, but we have to include the female because it's such strong.

[00:33:06] So, you know, it's just wrote, as I said, family has always meant a great deal to me.

[00:33:12] My family supported me throughout my growing up, my college years, and my wife helped me throughout this terrible journey.

[00:33:18] So, it goes a lot more in depth, but it seemed to me the best.

[00:33:22] And it took me under her wing, my mother, teaching me important life lessons, good values and respect she had with her mother, grandmother, my grandmother, Sharon.

[00:33:33] And I tried to emulate the same lessons to my children.

[00:33:37] And I think that's the number one thing about caregiving, I'm actually writing a little blog about it, is you have to support each other, husband and wife.

[00:33:44] You have to be there.

[00:33:46] There are days where I couldn't be there, and she understood.

[00:33:49] And, you know, we've been together over 11, 12 years, which I don't know how it goes so fast.

[00:33:53] But even in the book, I write the first time my mother and my wife met.

[00:33:57] And, you know, sometimes in-laws don't work out, but I was really lucky.

[00:34:01] It's almost like when I met my wife at the second, my wife and my mother met.

[00:34:06] They became best friends, and that's something that meant the world because, you know, my wife wanted to take part in the caregiving and wanted to help.

[00:34:14] And some things us men, no offense, aren't good at.

[00:34:17] But my wife, my last year, my mother's life was tough because she just physically and mentally wasn't doing well.

[00:34:23] And my wife really tried, even though some days it was hard.

[00:34:26] But she brought in, like, a manicure person and a hair person and just little teeny things that really made my mother feel alive again.

[00:34:33] And that meant the world to me.

[00:34:35] So I won't go much more because then we'll start falling apart.

[00:34:39] I don't want this to be positive.

[00:34:41] Just on the last note, I just, you know, I'm so grateful for both of you and your audience.

[00:34:45] And I'm never going to forget our time together.

[00:34:48] I'm going to add the show to my site forever and share it around the world.

[00:34:51] But I do have one last message for everybody.

[00:34:54] We love you.

[00:34:55] We support you.

[00:34:56] We care a lot about you.

[00:34:57] And you're never alone.

[00:34:58] I will advocate for you.

[00:35:00] And together, our voices are so much stronger.

[00:35:02] And I'm just getting started.

[00:35:04] And obviously, I'm not.

[00:35:05] But I say that because every time I get a nice message from someone like the two of you, your audience or someone out there struggling that feels alone,

[00:35:15] and that kind of re-energizes me when I, there are days where I just say, I'm like, I feel like I had like maybe 10 shows.

[00:35:21] And I feel I didn't even do my own work and see my family and feel like a truck might have rolled over me.

[00:35:27] But I kind of just dust it off, jump back up and keep fighting because until we have a cure, there's just so many people who need us.

[00:35:34] And that's why I do this.

[00:35:36] I don't want anything in return.

[00:35:37] But again, to send our love and support.

[00:35:40] And we're here for you.

[00:35:41] Well, thank you so much.

[00:35:43] Thank you for sharing with us.

[00:35:45] Definitely.

[00:35:45] Thank you for the awareness.

[00:35:49] And we definitely will make sure every, all the information is there for listeners.

[00:35:56] We've been on your site over the past couple of days looking at the different resources and the different voices that are there from others.

[00:36:06] So it's definitely a wealth of resources there and information.

[00:36:10] So we thank you for your time and for sharing with us.

[00:36:15] Yep.

[00:36:16] And the son's journey.

[00:36:18] I appreciate it.

[00:36:19] And we're going to help promote however we can and push your stuff, George.

[00:36:26] You don't want anything in return, but you're getting love.

[00:36:30] Right.

[00:36:31] Well, everyone needs that.

[00:36:33] And, you know, just so you know, I'm sure that independent publishing is tough.

[00:36:37] The big problem and struggle with awareness is there's not enough support for Parkinson's.

[00:36:42] And that's what we're trying to do.

[00:36:44] But big publishers and things don't.

[00:36:46] Even when I did my research for my book about policing and Parkinson's coming in the future.

[00:36:52] Police even.

[00:36:53] And I'll talk if you ever, you know, we talk when I books out.

[00:36:56] But it wasn't easy because they're kind of questioning my intent.

[00:37:00] Right.

[00:37:01] And I'm trying to help.

[00:37:02] And the book is completely appropriate.

[00:37:04] It's not about that.

[00:37:05] I'm just trying to bring awareness.

[00:37:07] But even a few people are like, you know, what's Parkinson's?

[00:37:10] This is law enforcement.

[00:37:11] You know, why are you doing this?

[00:37:13] And it's like, you know, here we go again.

[00:37:15] It's like you got one that doesn't want to bring change in a world that needs change.

[00:37:19] And it's not just in Parkinson's.

[00:37:21] Obviously, you know, we have all the protesting, the craziness in the world.

[00:37:25] Some of it's good.

[00:37:25] Some of it's not.

[00:37:26] I don't know.

[00:37:27] Again, that's a different topic.

[00:37:29] But, you know, we just have to keep raising our voice for awareness.

[00:37:33] We have to keep voicing it for those who can't.

[00:37:36] And I think we'll come closer to the cure.

[00:37:39] All right.

[00:37:40] Well, George, we want to thank you for your time.

[00:37:43] Thank you.

[00:37:44] Sending love out to you, your family, your wife.

[00:37:48] And may you continue to fight, my brother.

[00:37:51] Thank you both.

[00:37:52] And again, I consider your family.

[00:37:54] So you're stuck with me now for a while.

[00:37:55] All right.

[00:37:56] Yes, sir.

[00:37:57] We're not displeased.

[00:37:58] We're not displeased at all.

[00:38:00] Thank you so much.

[00:38:01] Thank you so much.

[00:38:10] Thanks for joining us on this episode of the Beyond I Do podcast.

[00:38:15] Please make sure to like this episode and also subscribe to our podcast.

[00:38:20] You can also find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube at the Beyond I Do podcast.

[00:38:27] And until next time, we will holler at y'all.