Creating Love Minus Limits with Guest Elvery Tinsley

[00:00:00] Hold on

[00:00:01] They did an update

[00:00:03] and so

[00:00:04] they hit it

[00:00:06] We

[00:00:10] are

[00:00:11] we have marked a few of those questions

[00:00:13] that I sent you

[00:00:16] we

[00:00:17] may get to them, we may not

[00:00:19] depends on how the conversation flows

[00:00:23] works for me

[00:00:24] we are excited

[00:00:27] I'm so excited

[00:00:29] I stalk y'all's website

[00:00:31] frequently

[00:00:33] we were

[00:00:34] who did we

[00:00:36] who were we talking with the other day

[00:00:38] and I was telling them

[00:00:40] I'm so ready to come visit

[00:00:42] Indianapolis

[00:00:44] you better come in the summer

[00:00:45] you won't come in the winter

[00:00:48] who did we interview

[00:00:49] or talk to recently

[00:00:52] and you don't have to tell me twice

[00:00:55] but

[00:00:55] you know

[00:00:56] we're from the south

[00:00:57] that's what I'm saying

[00:00:58] you ain't gonna like it past

[00:01:00] Michelle

[00:01:01] yeah

[00:01:02] um

[00:01:03] Regina has

[00:01:04] she has hooked us up

[00:01:05] with all these different people

[00:01:06] and y'all are all

[00:01:08] like

[00:01:09] to see the things

[00:01:10] that y'all are doing

[00:01:11] but then

[00:01:12] also the connections

[00:01:13] and when we're

[00:01:14] like

[00:01:14] everybody has been so

[00:01:16] helpful

[00:01:17] and so

[00:01:18] um

[00:01:19] supportive

[00:01:19] and I see y'all

[00:01:20] supporting each other

[00:01:21] and I'm like

[00:01:22] baby do we need to move

[00:01:26] who need to move there

[00:01:28] because

[00:01:28] um

[00:01:30] I love it though

[00:01:31] I love it

[00:01:32] and

[00:01:33] it has not always

[00:01:34] been this way

[00:01:35] I think the pandemic

[00:01:36] has really

[00:01:37] started bringing

[00:01:38] people

[00:01:39] together

[00:01:40] because

[00:01:40] pandemic

[00:01:41] people were kind of

[00:01:42] in silos

[00:01:43] over here

[00:01:44] over there

[00:01:45] now

[00:01:46] there's a few

[00:01:47] people

[00:01:48] here

[00:01:48] that's like

[00:01:49] in the city

[00:01:49] that's kind of

[00:01:50] bringing

[00:01:51] all the black

[00:01:52] business owners

[00:01:53] because

[00:01:53] it's really not

[00:01:55] a huge community

[00:01:55] of us

[00:01:56] like

[00:01:57] there's really

[00:01:57] not a lot

[00:01:58] of us

[00:01:58] and that's

[00:01:59] what

[00:01:59] because

[00:02:00] because

[00:02:00] I looked

[00:02:01] at the demographics

[00:02:02] because I'm like

[00:02:02] I gotta figure

[00:02:03] this out

[00:02:04] and I looked

[00:02:05] at the demographics

[00:02:06] and I was like

[00:02:06] that's really

[00:02:07] not far

[00:02:08] from

[00:02:08] where we are

[00:02:09] but

[00:02:10] where we are

[00:02:12] you have

[00:02:13] like you said

[00:02:14] you have these

[00:02:15] pockets

[00:02:16] and so

[00:02:17] in Augusta

[00:02:19] you have this

[00:02:20] um

[00:02:21] this group

[00:02:22] of

[00:02:23] of black

[00:02:23] Augustans

[00:02:24] who

[00:02:25] born

[00:02:25] raised

[00:02:26] very

[00:02:27] kind of like

[00:02:28] the

[00:02:29] the Jack and Jill

[00:02:30] debutante

[00:02:31] that type

[00:02:32] of crew

[00:02:33] yeah

[00:02:34] fit in there

[00:02:34] you got

[00:02:35] I understand

[00:02:37] you don't fit in there

[00:02:38] we were married

[00:02:40] so young

[00:02:40] so it's like

[00:02:41] you got

[00:02:41] the people

[00:02:42] who

[00:02:43] we came up

[00:02:44] with

[00:02:45] but

[00:02:45] they were still

[00:02:46] in the clubs

[00:02:47] while we were married

[00:02:49] you know what I'm saying

[00:02:50] so it's like

[00:02:51] we lost their connections

[00:02:52] yep

[00:02:53] so y'all understand

[00:02:54] because y'all

[00:02:55] y'all were younger

[00:02:56] than us

[00:02:57] to the point now

[00:02:58] where it's like

[00:03:00] well

[00:03:00] I don't have that

[00:03:01] connection

[00:03:02] with this person

[00:03:02] anymore

[00:03:03] so I feel

[00:03:03] kind of crazy

[00:03:04] reaching out

[00:03:04] to them

[00:03:05] you know what I'm saying

[00:03:05] like

[00:03:06] we used to party

[00:03:07] together

[00:03:07] but now

[00:03:08] the party

[00:03:09] has turned

[00:03:09] into businesses

[00:03:10] now

[00:03:10] it's like

[00:03:11] you know

[00:03:13] it's kind of weird

[00:03:14] a lot of them

[00:03:15] still have

[00:03:16] like they still

[00:03:16] had school age

[00:03:17] kids too

[00:03:18] they waited

[00:03:19] an appropriate

[00:03:20] amount of time

[00:03:21] instead of

[00:03:22] like

[00:03:23] yeah

[00:03:24] that's difficult

[00:03:25] too

[00:03:25] when you're like

[00:03:25] oh you gotta

[00:03:26] find a babysitter

[00:03:27] oh

[00:03:27] yeah

[00:03:29] oh that's so ghetto

[00:03:30] like

[00:03:31] you know

[00:03:31] ew

[00:03:33] can you

[00:03:34] we can't just go

[00:03:35] no

[00:03:36] it's all

[00:03:37] here

[00:03:38] it's weird

[00:03:38] you get it

[00:03:40] vacation

[00:03:40] vacation

[00:03:41] what the hell

[00:03:41] are you trying

[00:03:42] to go

[00:03:42] on my own

[00:03:43] right

[00:03:43] I'm telling

[00:03:44] myself in my head

[00:03:45] fix your face

[00:03:46] fix your face

[00:03:46] fix your face

[00:03:47] because I'm like

[00:03:48] ew

[00:03:49] no my baby

[00:03:50] is 22

[00:03:52] exactly

[00:03:53] especially

[00:03:53] when they be like

[00:03:54] especially

[00:03:55] when they be like

[00:03:55] you know how it is

[00:03:57] yeah

[00:03:59] 10 so years ago

[00:04:00] right

[00:04:01] well

[00:04:01] let me

[00:04:02] let me think

[00:04:03] um

[00:04:04] yes

[00:04:04] because I blocked

[00:04:05] all that out

[00:04:06] because my baby

[00:04:07] is 22

[00:04:08] my baby

[00:04:09] about to be 20

[00:04:09] so I'd be like

[00:04:10] and I'm ready

[00:04:11] for her to go

[00:04:12] back to school

[00:04:12] I'm like

[00:04:14] when's move-in

[00:04:15] day

[00:04:16] look

[00:04:20] me and my husband

[00:04:21] are like

[00:04:22] look

[00:04:23] we ready to be

[00:04:25] free-free

[00:04:29] well understood

[00:04:31] and you know

[00:04:32] it's that

[00:04:33] that

[00:04:33] fine line

[00:04:35] between

[00:04:35] you really want

[00:04:36] I want to put

[00:04:37] them out there

[00:04:37] before it's time

[00:04:38] exactly

[00:04:39] time's like

[00:04:40] I really want you

[00:04:41] to get your stuff

[00:04:42] together

[00:04:42] you're on

[00:04:44] yes

[00:04:45] yes

[00:04:47] yes

[00:04:47] yeah

[00:04:48] our oldest

[00:04:49] has moved out

[00:04:49] and moved back

[00:04:51] moved out

[00:04:52] and moved back

[00:04:53] and I said

[00:04:53] listen

[00:04:54] don't keep

[00:04:55] doing this

[00:04:56] let's make this

[00:04:57] this time

[00:04:58] let's really

[00:04:58] come up with a plan

[00:04:59] right

[00:05:00] right

[00:05:00] it don't have to be

[00:05:01] a revolving door

[00:05:02] I

[00:05:03] ideally

[00:05:04] I want to send them

[00:05:05] together

[00:05:06] and let them

[00:05:08] like at least

[00:05:09] y'all are together

[00:05:10] y'all can work

[00:05:11] through things

[00:05:11] and we

[00:05:12] when we support

[00:05:13] we only support

[00:05:14] one extra house

[00:05:15] do you hear me

[00:05:17] you hear me

[00:05:19] so

[00:05:20] I'm hoping

[00:05:21] that that's

[00:05:22] the route

[00:05:22] that they

[00:05:23] but

[00:05:24] that 22 year old

[00:05:26] is like

[00:05:26] her mom

[00:05:26] about an hour

[00:05:27] I'm deep

[00:05:28] into a damn

[00:05:29] engine

[00:05:30] while my son

[00:05:30] is on vacation

[00:05:31] in ma'am

[00:05:32] Gatlinburg

[00:05:32] chilling

[00:05:33] I'm like

[00:05:34] the hell

[00:05:35] how does this

[00:05:36] work

[00:05:38] because he needs

[00:05:39] that car

[00:05:40] exactly

[00:05:40] he needs that car

[00:05:42] so he can make

[00:05:42] his money

[00:05:44] he's bothering us

[00:05:45] I guess

[00:05:45] exactly

[00:05:46] exactly

[00:05:47] yeah

[00:05:47] we thought

[00:05:48] about that

[00:05:48] with our

[00:05:49] youngest

[00:05:49] too

[00:05:51] so my

[00:05:51] daughter's

[00:05:52] going to

[00:05:52] school in

[00:05:52] Bloomington

[00:05:53] in the fall

[00:05:54] and my

[00:05:55] middle boy

[00:05:56] already lives

[00:05:57] in Bloomington

[00:05:57] and so

[00:05:58] and he does

[00:05:59] like apartment

[00:06:00] leasing

[00:06:01] so I was like

[00:06:02] listen

[00:06:03] get a two bedroom

[00:06:04] because you

[00:06:04] already get a

[00:06:05] discount

[00:06:06] and then I

[00:06:07] thought about

[00:06:08] it

[00:06:09] I didn't even

[00:06:10] want to live

[00:06:10] with him

[00:06:10] and I'm

[00:06:11] his mama

[00:06:13] I said

[00:06:14] you know what

[00:06:15] for the sake

[00:06:16] of y'all

[00:06:16] relationship

[00:06:19] let's just

[00:06:20] the last thing

[00:06:21] you want to be

[00:06:21] doing is

[00:06:22] driving to

[00:06:22] Bloomington

[00:06:23] 3 o'clock

[00:06:23] in the morning

[00:06:24] trying to

[00:06:24] break up

[00:06:25] a fight

[00:06:26] exactly

[00:06:27] call the police

[00:06:28] on y'all

[00:06:28] that's all

[00:06:30] exactly

[00:06:31] I'm like

[00:06:31] get disturbing

[00:06:33] me

[00:06:34] I said

[00:06:35] for the sake

[00:06:35] of y'all

[00:06:35] relationship

[00:06:37] we just

[00:06:37] gonna keep

[00:06:38] this separate

[00:06:39] and my

[00:06:40] peace

[00:06:40] right

[00:06:41] right

[00:06:41] that makes

[00:06:42] sense

[00:06:42] I'm glad

[00:06:43] you said

[00:06:44] that

[00:06:44] because

[00:06:45] I was

[00:06:46] thinking

[00:06:46] me

[00:06:46] not them

[00:06:47] yeah

[00:06:48] I know

[00:06:48] my son

[00:06:50] my daughter

[00:06:50] would be

[00:06:50] easy

[00:06:51] to live

[00:06:51] with

[00:07:11] he loves

[00:07:14] nice

[00:07:15] things

[00:07:17] but your

[00:07:17] budget

[00:07:18] can't

[00:07:19] afford

[00:07:19] that

[00:07:21] and so

[00:07:22] you think

[00:07:22] because

[00:07:22] you see

[00:07:23] me and

[00:07:23] your dad

[00:07:23] doing

[00:07:24] this

[00:07:24] that

[00:07:25] and the

[00:07:25] other

[00:07:25] we

[00:07:28] have

[00:07:28] the

[00:07:29] means

[00:07:29] to

[00:07:29] support

[00:07:30] that

[00:07:30] so

[00:07:31] when

[00:07:31] you

[00:07:31] see

[00:07:31] us

[00:07:31] doing

[00:07:32] stuff

[00:07:32] and

[00:07:32] traveling

[00:07:33] and

[00:07:33] going

[00:07:33] and

[00:07:34] eating

[00:07:34] out

[00:07:35] our bills

[00:07:36] are paid

[00:07:37] and that's

[00:07:39] what I

[00:07:39] think was

[00:07:40] jarring

[00:07:40] for them

[00:07:41] or for

[00:07:42] him

[00:07:42] is that

[00:07:43] he thought

[00:07:44] it was

[00:07:45] just gonna

[00:07:45] leave us

[00:07:46] and have

[00:07:47] that same

[00:07:48] lifestyle

[00:07:48] so sir

[00:07:50] we didn't

[00:07:51] start like

[00:07:52] this

[00:07:52] exactly

[00:07:54] but start

[00:07:55] somewhere

[00:07:55] so

[00:07:56] yeah

[00:07:57] these adult

[00:07:58] children

[00:07:59] whoo

[00:08:00] right

[00:08:02] right

[00:08:03] which I

[00:08:04] will say

[00:08:05] this though

[00:08:06] I'll take

[00:08:07] parenting

[00:08:08] an adult

[00:08:08] child

[00:08:09] versus

[00:08:10] parenting

[00:08:12] a younger

[00:08:12] child

[00:08:14] any day

[00:08:15] yeah

[00:08:15] school age

[00:08:16] I couldn't

[00:08:17] wait to

[00:08:17] get them

[00:08:17] out of

[00:08:17] school

[00:08:18] all right

[00:08:21] we're gonna

[00:08:21] get started

[00:08:23] you gonna

[00:08:23] do

[00:08:24] you gonna

[00:08:24] start us

[00:08:25] out

[00:08:25] yep

[00:08:25] I think

[00:08:27] I got

[00:08:27] you think

[00:08:28] you got

[00:08:28] it

[00:08:28] okay

[00:08:29] I think

[00:08:29] I can

[00:08:29] I think

[00:08:30] I can

[00:08:31] come on

[00:08:31] little

[00:08:32] engine

[00:08:38] all right

[00:08:40] we'd like

[00:08:40] to welcome

[00:08:41] you back

[00:08:41] to the

[00:08:42] beyond

[00:08:42] our

[00:08:42] do

[00:08:42] podcast

[00:08:43] we have

[00:08:44] with us

[00:08:44] today

[00:08:45] a very

[00:08:46] very special

[00:08:47] guest

[00:08:47] by the name

[00:08:48] of

[00:08:49] Elvery

[00:08:49] Tinsley

[00:08:50] she is

[00:08:51] comes to

[00:08:51] us as

[00:08:52] a therapist

[00:08:52] relationship

[00:08:54] expert

[00:08:54] and CEO

[00:08:56] of love

[00:08:57] minus limits

[00:08:58] love

[00:08:59] minus limits

[00:09:00] is a

[00:09:01] relationship

[00:09:01] development

[00:09:02] organization

[00:09:03] that provides

[00:09:04] empowerment

[00:09:05] education

[00:09:05] and enriching

[00:09:07] events

[00:09:07] designed to

[00:09:08] support

[00:09:09] black couples

[00:09:09] on their

[00:09:10] journey towards

[00:09:11] a healthy

[00:09:11] and happy

[00:09:12] relationship

[00:09:13] we'd like to

[00:09:14] welcome you

[00:09:15] Elvery

[00:09:15] thank you

[00:09:17] thank you so

[00:09:17] much for

[00:09:18] having me

[00:09:18] I'm so

[00:09:19] excited

[00:09:19] I'm super

[00:09:19] excited to

[00:09:20] be having

[00:09:21] this interview

[00:09:22] or this

[00:09:23] conversation

[00:09:23] I don't think

[00:09:24] it's interview

[00:09:25] exactly

[00:09:27] we and

[00:09:28] you know

[00:09:29] we have

[00:09:30] our

[00:09:30] meet and

[00:09:31] greets

[00:09:31] before we

[00:09:32] do our

[00:09:32] actual

[00:09:33] recording

[00:09:33] and so

[00:09:34] we of

[00:09:35] course

[00:09:35] have spoken

[00:09:36] to you

[00:09:36] prior to

[00:09:37] this

[00:09:37] but

[00:09:39] beyond

[00:09:39] that

[00:09:40] I've

[00:09:41] reached

[00:09:41] out via

[00:09:41] email

[00:09:42] because

[00:09:43] you all

[00:09:44] are doing

[00:09:44] what we

[00:09:45] hope to

[00:09:46] be doing

[00:09:46] in the

[00:09:46] very near

[00:09:47] future

[00:09:47] with

[00:09:48] supporting

[00:09:49] couples

[00:09:49] and so

[00:09:51] we can't

[00:09:52] wait to

[00:09:52] hear more

[00:09:53] about

[00:09:55] love minus

[00:09:56] limits

[00:09:56] but

[00:09:57] before we

[00:09:58] get to

[00:09:58] that

[00:09:58] if you

[00:09:59] could

[00:09:59] introduce

[00:10:00] yourself

[00:10:01] tell us

[00:10:02] a little

[00:10:02] bit about

[00:10:03] you

[00:10:03] about

[00:10:04] your

[00:10:04] love

[00:10:04] story

[00:10:06] and

[00:10:06] share

[00:10:07] with the

[00:10:09] audience

[00:10:09] and the

[00:10:09] listeners

[00:10:10] about

[00:10:11] Miss

[00:10:11] Elvery

[00:10:12] so I

[00:10:14] think

[00:10:15] Byron

[00:10:15] did a

[00:10:15] very good

[00:10:16] job

[00:10:16] of

[00:10:17] my

[00:10:17] professional

[00:10:20] background

[00:10:21] but my

[00:10:22] husband and

[00:10:22] I married

[00:10:23] at the

[00:10:24] ages of

[00:10:25] I was

[00:10:25] 18

[00:10:25] and he

[00:10:26] was

[00:10:27] 20

[00:10:27] and so

[00:10:28] our

[00:10:30] journey

[00:10:31] we call

[00:10:32] it growing

[00:10:33] up together

[00:10:33] because

[00:10:34] honestly

[00:10:34] that's

[00:10:35] what we

[00:10:35] did

[00:10:36] and

[00:10:37] we have

[00:10:38] three

[00:10:39] children

[00:10:39] from this

[00:10:40] amazing

[00:10:41] journey

[00:10:45] love

[00:10:45] minus

[00:10:47] limits

[00:10:47] was

[00:10:48] my

[00:10:49] baby

[00:10:50] I

[00:10:51] started

[00:10:51] a

[00:10:51] blog

[00:10:51] to

[00:10:52] you

[00:10:53] know

[00:10:53] just

[00:10:54] sharing

[00:10:54] my

[00:10:55] journey

[00:10:55] my

[00:10:55] struggles

[00:10:56] the

[00:10:57] things

[00:10:57] that

[00:10:57] I

[00:10:57] was

[00:10:57] learning

[00:10:57] as

[00:10:58] a

[00:10:58] wife

[00:10:58] even

[00:10:58] as

[00:10:59] a

[00:10:59] mom

[00:11:00] just

[00:11:01] making

[00:11:02] the

[00:11:02] mistakes

[00:11:04] and

[00:11:05] offering

[00:11:06] you

[00:11:07] know

[00:11:07] tools

[00:11:09] and

[00:11:09] resources

[00:11:09] and

[00:11:10] things

[00:11:10] like

[00:11:10] that

[00:11:10] just

[00:11:11] via

[00:11:11] blog

[00:11:11] thinking

[00:11:12] you

[00:11:12] know

[00:11:12] this

[00:11:13] is

[00:11:13] going

[00:11:13] to be

[00:11:14] a

[00:11:14] blog

[00:11:15] and

[00:11:15] people

[00:11:16] started

[00:11:16] reaching

[00:11:17] out

[00:11:17] saying

[00:11:17] I

[00:11:18] need

[00:11:18] more

[00:11:18] like

[00:11:18] tell

[00:11:19] me

[00:11:19] how

[00:11:19] this

[00:11:19] tell

[00:11:20] me

[00:11:20] how

[00:11:20] to

[00:11:20] do

[00:11:20] that

[00:11:21] tell

[00:11:21] me

[00:11:22] communication

[00:11:22] tell

[00:11:23] me

[00:11:23] how

[00:11:23] to

[00:11:23] talk

[00:11:23] to

[00:11:24] my

[00:11:24] husband

[00:11:24] so

[00:11:24] they

[00:11:24] started

[00:11:25] sharing

[00:11:25] more

[00:11:25] specific

[00:11:26] things

[00:11:27] with

[00:11:27] me

[00:11:28] and

[00:11:29] I

[00:11:30] was

[00:11:30] like

[00:11:30] I

[00:11:30] can't

[00:11:31] do

[00:11:31] all

[00:11:31] that

[00:11:31] in

[00:11:32] the

[00:11:32] blog

[00:11:33] long

[00:11:35] articles

[00:11:36] I

[00:11:37] started

[00:11:37] doing

[00:11:38] one

[00:11:38] off

[00:11:39] workshops

[00:11:39] and

[00:11:40] things

[00:11:40] like

[00:11:40] that

[00:11:41] and

[00:11:41] I

[00:11:42] was

[00:11:43] doing

[00:11:43] those

[00:11:43] for

[00:11:43] free

[00:11:43] just

[00:11:44] giving

[00:11:45] back

[00:11:46] and

[00:11:47] people

[00:11:47] were

[00:11:47] like

[00:11:48] why

[00:11:48] are

[00:11:48] you

[00:11:48] doing

[00:11:48] this

[00:11:48] for

[00:11:48] free

[00:11:49] you

[00:11:49] need

[00:11:49] to

[00:11:49] be

[00:11:49] charging

[00:11:50] for

[00:11:50] this

[00:11:50] because

[00:11:50] you

[00:11:50] giving

[00:11:51] away

[00:11:51] some

[00:11:51] gems

[00:11:52] some

[00:11:52] good

[00:11:57] love

[00:11:58] minus

[00:11:58] limits

[00:11:58] really

[00:12:00] move

[00:12:01] from

[00:12:01] just

[00:12:01] the

[00:12:01] blog

[00:12:02] to

[00:12:02] a

[00:12:03] full

[00:12:03] blown

[00:12:03] relationship

[00:12:05] development

[00:12:06] organization

[00:12:07] okay

[00:12:08] fantastic

[00:12:09] and

[00:12:10] you

[00:12:11] mentioned

[00:12:12] your

[00:12:12] married

[00:12:13] young

[00:12:14] your

[00:12:15] husband

[00:12:15] is he

[00:12:15] involved

[00:12:16] in

[00:12:16] love

[00:12:17] minus

[00:12:17] limits

[00:12:17] also

[00:12:18] so

[00:12:19] he

[00:12:20] is

[00:12:20] kind

[00:12:20] of

[00:12:20] in

[00:12:20] the

[00:12:20] background

[00:12:22] he

[00:12:23] does

[00:12:24] mostly

[00:12:25] with

[00:12:26] like

[00:12:26] the

[00:12:26] events

[00:12:27] and

[00:12:27] things

[00:12:27] like

[00:12:27] that

[00:12:28] he

[00:12:28] is

[00:12:29] not

[00:12:29] now

[00:12:30] let

[00:12:31] me

[00:12:31] not

[00:12:31] say

[00:12:31] he

[00:12:31] is

[00:12:32] a

[00:12:34] he's

[00:12:34] a

[00:12:34] people

[00:12:34] person

[00:12:35] as

[00:12:35] well

[00:12:35] but

[00:12:36] sitting

[00:12:36] here

[00:12:37] talking

[00:12:39] coaching

[00:12:40] he's

[00:12:40] like

[00:12:40] I don't

[00:12:41] want

[00:12:41] no

[00:12:41] part

[00:12:41] of

[00:12:41] that

[00:12:41] like

[00:12:43] now

[00:12:44] you

[00:12:44] show up

[00:12:44] to

[00:12:44] one

[00:12:44] of

[00:12:45] our

[00:12:45] events

[00:12:45] he's

[00:12:46] in

[00:12:46] his

[00:12:46] element

[00:12:47] he'll

[00:12:47] be

[00:12:48] talking

[00:12:48] he'll

[00:12:49] be

[00:12:49] laughing

[00:12:50] he'll

[00:12:50] be

[00:12:50] joking

[00:12:50] with

[00:12:50] you

[00:12:51] and

[00:12:51] having

[00:12:51] a

[00:12:57] he'll

[00:12:57] be

[00:12:57] like

[00:12:58] no

[00:12:59] and

[00:12:59] I

[00:13:00] don't

[00:13:00] think

[00:13:00] he

[00:13:00] I

[00:13:01] mean

[00:13:01] you

[00:13:01] know

[00:13:01] some

[00:13:01] people

[00:13:01] just

[00:13:01] don't

[00:13:01] like

[00:13:02] talking

[00:13:02] in

[00:13:03] public

[00:13:03] and

[00:13:04] so

[00:13:04] I

[00:13:04] think

[00:13:04] that's

[00:13:05] him

[00:13:05] so

[00:13:06] he

[00:13:07] is

[00:13:07] involved

[00:13:07] he

[00:13:08] he's

[00:13:08] he's

[00:13:09] my

[00:13:09] sounding

[00:13:09] board

[00:13:10] I bounce

[00:13:10] ideas

[00:13:11] off of

[00:13:11] him

[00:13:11] and

[00:13:12] when

[00:13:12] I'm

[00:13:12] thinking

[00:13:12] of

[00:13:12] things

[00:13:13] like

[00:13:13] he's

[00:13:13] my

[00:13:13] go-to

[00:13:14] we sit

[00:13:14] down

[00:13:27] he's

[00:13:27] a

[00:13:27] great

[00:13:27] listener

[00:13:28] he

[00:13:29] is

[00:13:29] a

[00:13:29] great

[00:13:29] listener

[00:13:30] I was

[00:13:31] about

[00:13:31] to

[00:13:31] say

[00:13:32] ask

[00:13:32] him

[00:13:32] how

[00:13:32] he

[00:13:33] knows

[00:13:33] because

[00:13:33] as

[00:13:34] you're

[00:13:34] saying

[00:13:58] thank

[00:13:58] you

[00:13:58] for

[00:13:58] sharing

[00:13:59] yeah

[00:13:59] he's

[00:14:00] a

[00:14:00] fixer

[00:14:01] he's

[00:14:01] if I

[00:14:02] say

[00:14:02] something

[00:14:02] he's

[00:14:02] already

[00:14:03] like

[00:14:03] trying

[00:14:03] to

[00:14:03] fix

[00:14:04] it

[00:14:04] I'm

[00:14:04] like

[00:14:04] this

[00:14:05] ain't

[00:14:05] one

[00:14:05] of

[00:14:05] the

[00:14:05] things

[00:14:05] I

[00:14:06] need

[00:14:06] you

[00:14:06] to

[00:14:06] fix

[00:14:06] right

[00:14:06] now

[00:14:08] slow

[00:14:10] down

[00:14:10] let me

[00:14:11] just

[00:14:27] love

[00:14:27] minus

[00:14:27] limits

[00:14:28] you've

[00:14:28] mentioned

[00:14:29] coaching

[00:14:32] and

[00:14:32] things

[00:14:33] like

[00:14:34] that

[00:14:34] what

[00:14:34] other

[00:14:34] things

[00:14:35] does

[00:14:35] love

[00:14:37] minus

[00:14:37] limit

[00:14:39] what

[00:14:40] type

[00:14:40] of

[00:14:40] events

[00:14:41] what

[00:14:41] type

[00:14:42] of

[00:14:42] services

[00:14:43] do

[00:14:43] you

[00:14:43] offer

[00:14:44] so

[00:14:45] our

[00:14:45] main

[00:14:46] service

[00:14:46] is

[00:14:47] our

[00:14:48] membership

[00:14:48] our

[00:14:49] membership

[00:14:50] is for

[00:14:50] couples

[00:14:51] who

[00:14:52] it's

[00:14:53] a wide

[00:14:54] range

[00:14:54] so

[00:14:55] couples

[00:14:55] can

[00:14:55] come

[00:14:56] in

[00:14:56] and

[00:14:56] just

[00:14:57] know

[00:14:57] we

[00:14:58] need

[00:14:58] some

[00:14:58] skills

[00:14:58] some

[00:14:59] tools

[00:14:59] to

[00:14:59] keep

[00:14:59] us

[00:15:00] to

[00:15:00] keep

[00:15:01] growing

[00:15:01] to

[00:15:01] keep

[00:15:02] our

[00:15:02] marriage

[00:15:02] evolving

[00:15:03] like

[00:15:03] our

[00:15:03] marriage

[00:15:03] not

[00:15:04] in

[00:15:04] trouble

[00:15:04] but

[00:15:05] we

[00:15:05] need

[00:15:05] to

[00:15:06] be

[00:15:06] in

[00:15:07] community

[00:15:07] with

[00:15:07] other

[00:15:07] couples

[00:15:08] and

[00:15:09] we

[00:15:09] need

[00:15:09] to

[00:15:09] know

[00:15:09] when

[00:15:10] challenges

[00:15:10] come

[00:15:11] that

[00:15:11] we

[00:15:11] have

[00:15:12] the

[00:15:12] right

[00:15:12] things

[00:15:12] in

[00:15:12] our

[00:15:12] toolbox

[00:15:13] to

[00:15:14] be

[00:15:14] able

[00:15:14] to

[00:15:15] work

[00:15:15] on

[00:15:15] our

[00:15:15] marriage

[00:15:15] we

[00:15:16] also

[00:15:17] have

[00:15:18] where

[00:15:18] couples

[00:15:18] come

[00:15:19] in

[00:15:19] and

[00:15:19] they're

[00:15:19] like

[00:15:20] this

[00:15:21] is

[00:15:21] the

[00:15:21] last

[00:15:21] straw

[00:15:21] like

[00:15:22] this

[00:15:22] is

[00:15:22] it

[00:15:22] this

[00:15:22] is

[00:15:23] our

[00:15:23] last

[00:15:24] what

[00:15:24] can

[00:15:24] we

[00:15:24] do

[00:15:25] because

[00:15:25] we're

[00:15:26] looking

[00:15:26] at

[00:15:26] divorce

[00:15:27] like

[00:15:27] we're

[00:15:27] looking

[00:15:27] at

[00:15:27] separating

[00:15:28] and

[00:15:28] so

[00:15:29] and that

[00:15:30] was

[00:15:52] but

[00:15:53] that's

[00:15:53] not

[00:15:53] always

[00:15:54] the

[00:15:54] case

[00:15:54] you

[00:15:55] need

[00:15:55] to

[00:15:55] create

[00:15:56] a

[00:15:56] new

[00:15:56] dynamic

[00:15:56] and

[00:15:57] you

[00:15:57] need

[00:15:57] to

[00:15:57] understand

[00:15:59] which

[00:15:59] is

[00:16:00] why

[00:16:00] we

[00:16:00] end

[00:16:00] up

[00:16:00] building

[00:16:00] a

[00:16:00] framework

[00:16:01] you

[00:16:01] need

[00:16:01] to

[00:16:01] understand

[00:16:02] clarity

[00:16:02] so

[00:16:02] that's

[00:16:02] what

[00:16:03] we

[00:16:03] take

[00:16:03] couples

[00:16:03] through

[00:16:04] first

[00:16:04] like

[00:16:04] when

[00:16:04] they

[00:16:04] come

[00:16:05] in

[00:16:05] our

[00:16:05] membership

[00:16:06] all

[00:16:07] of

[00:16:07] our

[00:16:07] workshops

[00:16:07] are

[00:16:08] recorded

[00:16:08] and

[00:16:09] so

[00:16:09] when

[00:16:09] they

[00:16:09] come

[00:16:09] in

[00:16:10] I

[00:16:10] send

[00:16:10] them

[00:16:10] to

[00:16:11] the

[00:16:11] workshop

[00:16:11] on

[00:16:12] clarity

[00:16:12] because

[00:16:13] a

[00:16:14] lot

[00:16:14] of

[00:16:14] times

[00:16:14] we

[00:16:14] don't

[00:16:14] even

[00:16:15] know

[00:16:15] what

[00:16:15] we

[00:16:15] fighting

[00:16:15] about

[00:16:16] we

[00:16:16] just

[00:16:16] fighting

[00:16:16] right

[00:16:17] the

[00:16:18] surface

[00:16:19] stuff

[00:16:19] we

[00:16:19] haven't

[00:16:19] even

[00:16:19] got

[00:16:20] to

[00:16:20] beneath

[00:16:21] the

[00:16:21] surface

[00:16:21] to

[00:16:22] dig

[00:16:22] deeper

[00:16:22] to

[00:16:23] see

[00:16:23] we're

[00:16:23] not

[00:16:23] really

[00:16:24] just

[00:16:24] fighting

[00:16:24] over

[00:16:25] a

[00:16:25] toilet

[00:16:25] seat

[00:16:26] we're

[00:16:26] not

[00:16:26] really

[00:16:27] fighting

[00:16:27] over

[00:16:27] you

[00:16:44] in

[00:16:45] our

[00:16:45] membership

[00:16:45] we

[00:16:46] go

[00:16:46] from

[00:16:46] clarity

[00:16:46] to

[00:16:47] communication

[00:16:48] because

[00:16:49] now

[00:16:49] that

[00:16:49] we

[00:16:49] know

[00:16:50] what

[00:16:50] we

[00:16:51] fighting

[00:16:51] about

[00:16:51] let's

[00:16:52] get

[00:16:52] that

[00:16:52] language

[00:16:53] let's

[00:16:53] be

[00:16:53] able

[00:16:53] to

[00:16:54] speak

[00:16:54] so

[00:16:54] that

[00:16:55] I

[00:16:55] can

[00:16:55] be

[00:16:56] heard

[00:16:56] you

[00:16:56] can

[00:16:57] be

[00:16:57] heard

[00:16:57] and

[00:16:57] we're

[00:16:57] both

[00:16:58] feeling

[00:16:58] understood

[00:16:58] but

[00:16:59] also

[00:17:00] validated

[00:17:00] and I

[00:17:01] in my

[00:17:02] work

[00:17:02] with

[00:17:02] couples

[00:17:02] validation

[00:17:04] is

[00:17:04] so

[00:17:05] hard

[00:17:05] for

[00:17:06] us

[00:17:06] to

[00:17:07] do

[00:17:07] because

[00:17:08] we

[00:17:08] think

[00:17:08] if

[00:17:09] I

[00:17:09] validate

[00:17:09] you

[00:17:10] that

[00:17:10] I

[00:17:11] agree

[00:17:11] with

[00:17:11] you

[00:17:11] right

[00:17:12] that's

[00:17:12] not

[00:17:13] what

[00:17:13] validation

[00:17:13] means

[00:17:14] that's

[00:17:14] not

[00:17:14] even

[00:17:15] what

[00:17:15] it

[00:17:15] is

[00:17:15] it's

[00:17:16] just

[00:17:16] saying

[00:17:17] that

[00:17:18] I

[00:17:18] see

[00:17:19] what

[00:17:20] you're

[00:17:20] saying

[00:17:20] right

[00:17:21] right

[00:17:21] see

[00:17:22] why

[00:17:22] you

[00:17:22] feel

[00:17:22] that

[00:17:22] way

[00:17:23] I

[00:17:23] see

[00:17:23] that

[00:17:23] I

[00:17:24] have

[00:17:24] to

[00:17:24] agree

[00:17:24] but

[00:17:25] I'm

[00:17:25] not

[00:17:25] also

[00:17:26] dismissing

[00:17:26] how

[00:17:27] you're

[00:17:27] experiencing

[00:17:28] this

[00:17:28] relationship

[00:17:29] right

[00:17:30] and

[00:17:30] I

[00:17:30] know

[00:17:30] I'm

[00:17:30] going

[00:17:30] off

[00:17:31] on a

[00:17:31] tangent

[00:17:31] but

[00:17:32] that's

[00:17:32] our

[00:17:32] membership

[00:17:33] and so

[00:17:33] we

[00:17:33] go

[00:17:34] through

[00:17:34] a

[00:17:34] framework

[00:17:34] so

[00:17:35] it's

[00:17:35] clarity

[00:17:36] communication

[00:17:37] commitment

[00:17:38] because

[00:17:39] now that

[00:17:39] we have

[00:17:40] this

[00:17:40] communication

[00:17:40] what do

[00:17:41] we need

[00:17:41] to do

[00:17:42] to keep

[00:17:43] this

[00:17:43] going

[00:17:43] so

[00:17:44] that

[00:17:44] we're

[00:17:44] not

[00:17:44] back

[00:17:45] in

[00:17:45] clarity

[00:17:45] going

[00:17:46] back

[00:17:46] here

[00:17:46] all

[00:17:47] the

[00:17:47] time

[00:17:47] and

[00:17:48] then

[00:17:48] lastly

[00:17:48] is

[00:17:48] connection

[00:17:49] what are

[00:17:49] those

[00:17:49] things

[00:17:50] that

[00:17:50] we

[00:17:50] can

[00:17:50] do

[00:17:50] to

[00:17:51] continue

[00:17:52] building

[00:17:53] and

[00:17:53] strengthening

[00:17:54] our

[00:17:54] connection

[00:17:55] and so

[00:17:56] our

[00:17:57] membership

[00:17:57] is our

[00:17:58] main

[00:17:58] service

[00:17:59] where

[00:17:59] we do

[00:17:59] workshops

[00:18:00] we do

[00:18:01] virtual

[00:18:01] date

[00:18:02] nights

[00:18:02] because

[00:18:02] our

[00:18:02] membership

[00:18:03] is open

[00:18:05] like

[00:18:05] worldwide

[00:18:06] it's just

[00:18:07] not for

[00:18:07] local

[00:18:08] couples

[00:18:09] we also

[00:18:10] have a

[00:18:10] portal

[00:18:11] where

[00:18:11] there's

[00:18:11] tons

[00:18:12] of

[00:18:12] resources

[00:18:12] that

[00:18:13] digital

[00:18:13] resources

[00:18:14] that you

[00:18:14] can

[00:18:14] download

[00:18:16] I'm

[00:18:16] missing

[00:18:16] something

[00:18:17] I know

[00:18:17] I am

[00:18:18] but

[00:18:18] our

[00:18:20] membership

[00:18:20] is called

[00:18:20] marriage

[00:18:21] masters

[00:18:21] membership

[00:18:23] that's

[00:18:23] one of

[00:18:23] our

[00:18:23] main

[00:18:24] we do

[00:18:24] one-on-one

[00:18:25] coaching

[00:18:25] as well

[00:18:26] I

[00:18:27] typically

[00:18:27] save

[00:18:28] coaching

[00:18:28] for

[00:18:28] people

[00:18:29] that

[00:18:29] are

[00:18:29] either

[00:18:29] in the

[00:18:30] membership

[00:18:30] or people

[00:18:32] that's

[00:18:32] in my

[00:18:32] Facebook

[00:18:33] community

[00:18:33] because

[00:18:34] I want

[00:18:35] people

[00:18:37] that

[00:18:37] understand

[00:18:38] love

[00:18:38] minus

[00:18:38] limits

[00:18:39] and then

[00:18:40] kind of

[00:18:40] experience

[00:18:41] the things

[00:18:42] the free

[00:18:42] stuff

[00:18:42] before you

[00:18:43] just jump

[00:18:43] in and

[00:18:44] say like

[00:18:44] I need

[00:18:45] coaching

[00:18:45] because

[00:18:46] sometimes

[00:18:46] you may

[00:18:46] not need

[00:18:47] that one-on-one

[00:18:47] there's

[00:18:48] a nugget

[00:18:49] a blog

[00:18:50] a workshop

[00:18:51] or something

[00:18:51] that you

[00:18:52] can

[00:18:52] because I

[00:18:53] like to

[00:18:53] save

[00:18:53] the one-on-ones

[00:18:54] for like

[00:18:54] specific

[00:18:55] issues

[00:18:56] because it's

[00:18:57] coaching

[00:18:58] it's not

[00:18:59] therapy

[00:18:59] where we're

[00:19:00] going back

[00:19:00] right

[00:19:01] figuring out

[00:19:02] you know

[00:19:03] how your

[00:19:04] mama's

[00:19:04] relationship

[00:19:05] your dad

[00:19:05] like we're

[00:19:06] not doing

[00:19:06] all that

[00:19:07] in coaching

[00:19:07] right

[00:19:08] we're

[00:19:09] dealing

[00:19:09] with

[00:19:09] where you

[00:19:10] are now

[00:19:11] and how

[00:19:11] to get

[00:19:11] you up

[00:19:12] to baseline

[00:19:13] in your

[00:19:13] relationship

[00:19:14] right

[00:19:14] um

[00:19:15] and then

[00:19:16] lastly

[00:19:17] our events

[00:19:17] which is

[00:19:18] the part

[00:19:18] that my

[00:19:19] husband

[00:19:19] enjoys

[00:19:19] like that's

[00:19:20] his

[00:19:20] that's

[00:19:21] his

[00:19:21] thing

[00:19:21] he's

[00:19:22] always

[00:19:22] like

[00:19:22] when's

[00:19:22] our

[00:19:23] next

[00:19:23] event

[00:19:23] when's

[00:19:23] the

[00:19:23] next

[00:19:24] event

[00:19:24] um

[00:19:25] and so

[00:19:26] we

[00:19:26] typically

[00:19:27] try to

[00:19:27] do

[00:19:27] events

[00:19:28] quarterly

[00:19:28] so once

[00:19:29] a quarter

[00:19:30] we have

[00:19:30] an event

[00:19:30] um

[00:19:31] the people

[00:19:32] in our

[00:19:32] community

[00:19:32] recently

[00:19:33] just said

[00:19:33] they want

[00:19:33] more

[00:19:33] events

[00:19:34] i'm like

[00:19:34] y'all don't

[00:19:35] plan

[00:19:35] events

[00:19:35] y'all don't

[00:19:36] know this

[00:19:36] ain't no

[00:19:36] i know right

[00:19:38] it's good

[00:19:38] it's good

[00:19:39] when you're

[00:19:39] just showing

[00:19:40] up and

[00:19:40] things are

[00:19:41] happening

[00:19:41] right

[00:19:42] right

[00:19:43] you ain't

[00:19:44] sitting here

[00:19:44] when i'm

[00:19:45] sending out

[00:19:45] 15 emails

[00:19:46] to find

[00:19:47] a venue

[00:19:47] right

[00:19:48] and

[00:19:49] and

[00:19:49] we

[00:19:50] you know

[00:19:51] like i

[00:19:51] said i

[00:19:52] have

[00:19:52] i've

[00:19:52] stopped

[00:19:52] your

[00:19:53] website

[00:19:53] we're

[00:19:54] in your

[00:19:54] facebook

[00:19:55] group

[00:19:55] so even

[00:19:56] though

[00:19:56] we're

[00:19:56] not

[00:19:56] there

[00:19:57] with

[00:19:57] you

[00:19:57] we

[00:19:58] see

[00:19:58] what

[00:19:59] goes

[00:20:00] into

[00:20:00] it

[00:20:00] oh

[00:20:00] yeah

[00:20:01] on

[00:20:01] the

[00:20:02] the

[00:20:02] out

[00:20:02] the

[00:20:03] after

[00:20:04] part

[00:20:05] so i

[00:20:05] can only

[00:20:06] imagine

[00:20:06] before

[00:20:07] to get

[00:20:08] to that

[00:20:08] after

[00:20:09] you gotta

[00:20:10] talk to

[00:20:11] the event

[00:20:12] space

[00:20:12] you gotta

[00:20:12] talk to

[00:20:13] these people

[00:20:13] then you

[00:20:14] still gotta

[00:20:14] put a post

[00:20:15] up

[00:20:15] you gotta

[00:20:16] plan the

[00:20:17] event

[00:20:17] you gotta

[00:20:17] promote

[00:20:17] the event

[00:20:18] follow up

[00:20:19] after the

[00:20:20] event

[00:20:21] and then

[00:20:22] you have

[00:20:23] to attend

[00:20:23] the event

[00:20:24] and you

[00:20:24] have to

[00:20:25] be fully

[00:20:25] engaged

[00:20:25] engaged

[00:20:26] yes

[00:20:28] about

[00:20:29] another

[00:20:30] event

[00:20:30] you tell

[00:20:31] them hey

[00:20:31] when you

[00:20:31] gonna help

[00:20:32] right

[00:20:32] i'm about

[00:20:34] to get

[00:20:34] a committee

[00:20:36] exactly

[00:20:37] exactly

[00:20:38] committee

[00:20:40] it's

[00:20:41] i enjoy

[00:20:42] them

[00:20:42] once

[00:20:43] they

[00:20:43] once i

[00:20:44] see

[00:20:44] them

[00:20:44] come

[00:20:45] you know

[00:20:45] to life

[00:20:46] and i'm

[00:20:46] like okay

[00:20:47] this is

[00:20:47] this was

[00:20:48] my vision

[00:20:48] but then

[00:20:49] it's

[00:20:49] like okay

[00:20:49] now i'm

[00:20:49] tired

[00:20:52] but um

[00:20:53] i would

[00:20:54] imagine

[00:20:54] like the

[00:20:55] the build

[00:20:56] up kind

[00:20:56] of like

[00:20:56] with planning

[00:20:57] a wedding

[00:20:58] or planning

[00:20:58] a big

[00:20:59] party

[00:21:00] or whatnot

[00:21:00] you have

[00:21:01] this

[00:21:02] excitement

[00:21:03] and whatnot

[00:21:04] you're

[00:21:04] you're

[00:21:05] planning

[00:21:05] you're

[00:21:06] doing it

[00:21:06] you're

[00:21:06] constantly

[00:21:07] on the

[00:21:07] go

[00:21:07] you get

[00:21:08] there

[00:21:09] you have

[00:21:09] to be

[00:21:10] on

[00:21:10] you have

[00:21:10] to be

[00:21:11] participating

[00:21:11] in it

[00:21:12] but you're

[00:21:12] also making

[00:21:13] sure all

[00:21:13] these little

[00:21:13] things are

[00:21:14] in place

[00:21:15] and then

[00:21:16] next day

[00:21:17] it's like

[00:21:17] crash and

[00:21:18] burn

[00:21:18] ma'am

[00:21:19] i'm

[00:21:20] like for

[00:21:20] a week

[00:21:21] like

[00:21:21] yeah

[00:21:24] exactly

[00:21:27] exactly

[00:21:28] go home

[00:21:28] and do

[00:21:29] something

[00:21:29] that i've

[00:21:29] been

[00:21:29] neglecting

[00:21:30] since i've

[00:21:30] been

[00:21:30] planning

[00:21:31] this

[00:21:31] event

[00:21:32] well

[00:21:32] i'm

[00:21:33] telling

[00:21:33] you now

[00:21:34] one of

[00:21:34] our

[00:21:37] because

[00:21:38] looking at

[00:21:39] the

[00:21:40] pictures

[00:21:40] looking

[00:21:41] at

[00:21:41] the

[00:21:42] you can

[00:21:43] you can

[00:21:44] see the

[00:21:44] joy and

[00:21:45] excitement

[00:21:46] of the

[00:21:47] participants

[00:21:48] we do

[00:21:48] we

[00:21:49] that is

[00:21:49] one of

[00:21:50] our

[00:21:50] biggest

[00:21:50] things

[00:21:51] and the

[00:21:52] reason we

[00:21:52] started doing

[00:21:52] events was

[00:21:53] because

[00:21:56] it's hard

[00:21:57] to

[00:21:57] connect with

[00:21:59] other couples

[00:22:00] for one

[00:22:01] and fun

[00:22:02] is one

[00:22:03] of our

[00:22:04] values

[00:22:04] like we

[00:22:05] strongly believe

[00:22:06] like if

[00:22:07] you are

[00:22:07] not

[00:22:07] enjoying

[00:22:08] your

[00:22:08] marriage

[00:22:08] you

[00:22:09] ain't

[00:22:09] doing

[00:22:09] something

[00:22:10] right

[00:22:13] because

[00:22:14] and so

[00:22:15] we bring

[00:22:16] that into

[00:22:16] our

[00:22:16] events

[00:22:17] the people

[00:22:18] that you

[00:22:18] see us

[00:22:19] on the

[00:22:19] internet

[00:22:19] in our

[00:22:20] events

[00:22:21] that's

[00:22:21] who we

[00:22:22] are

[00:22:22] because

[00:22:22] you don't

[00:22:23] know how

[00:22:23] to be

[00:22:24] anybody

[00:22:24] else

[00:22:25] i don't

[00:22:26] have the

[00:22:26] energy

[00:22:26] to like

[00:22:27] put on

[00:22:27] a fake

[00:22:28] facade

[00:22:28] like i

[00:22:29] just

[00:22:29] i don't

[00:22:30] have that

[00:22:30] energy

[00:22:30] right

[00:22:31] so when

[00:22:32] you meet

[00:22:32] me

[00:22:34] these are

[00:22:34] the people

[00:22:35] we are

[00:22:35] and so

[00:22:36] we bring

[00:22:36] that same

[00:22:37] energy

[00:22:37] to our

[00:22:37] events

[00:22:38] when we're

[00:22:38] planning

[00:22:38] our

[00:22:39] events

[00:22:39] we're

[00:22:39] thinking

[00:22:39] about

[00:22:40] if i was

[00:22:41] sitting in

[00:22:41] that seat

[00:22:42] what would

[00:22:42] i want

[00:22:43] to see

[00:22:43] what would

[00:22:44] i want

[00:22:44] to do

[00:22:45] and so

[00:22:46] people don't

[00:22:46] like to be

[00:22:47] talked to

[00:22:47] all the time

[00:22:48] so you don't

[00:22:49] see a lot

[00:22:49] of talking

[00:22:50] at our

[00:22:51] events

[00:22:51] we do more

[00:22:52] with interacting

[00:22:53] for couples

[00:22:53] things that

[00:22:54] you know y'all

[00:22:55] ain't gonna do

[00:22:55] that at home

[00:22:56] so when you

[00:22:57] come in this

[00:22:57] room we don't

[00:22:58] have you connect

[00:22:59] we're gonna

[00:22:59] have you know

[00:22:59] get on one

[00:23:00] accord

[00:23:00] with each other

[00:23:01] maybe have a

[00:23:01] conversation

[00:23:02] that you've

[00:23:03] been putting

[00:23:03] off but in

[00:23:05] a safe space

[00:23:06] where you

[00:23:07] have guidance

[00:23:08] and there are

[00:23:09] some guidelines

[00:23:09] and we're giving

[00:23:10] you the tools

[00:23:11] on how to do

[00:23:11] it whereas

[00:23:12] when you go

[00:23:12] home it won't

[00:23:12] just be a

[00:23:13] screaming match

[00:23:14] right now

[00:23:14] you can hear

[00:23:15] each other

[00:23:16] and so we

[00:23:17] make sure we

[00:23:17] always build

[00:23:18] that fun

[00:23:19] that connection

[00:23:20] but also that

[00:23:21] authenticity

[00:23:21] because we want

[00:23:22] people to come

[00:23:23] in be yourself

[00:23:24] right

[00:23:25] you're trying

[00:23:26] to fake

[00:23:26] and act like

[00:23:27] you're not

[00:23:27] somebody

[00:23:28] no be

[00:23:29] yourself

[00:23:30] because that's

[00:23:31] how you're

[00:23:31] going to enjoy

[00:23:32] and attract

[00:23:33] people to

[00:23:33] you

[00:23:34] it's not

[00:23:34] just about

[00:23:34] the people

[00:23:35] coming to

[00:23:35] this event

[00:23:36] it's about

[00:23:37] you building

[00:23:37] your married

[00:23:38] circle of

[00:23:39] friends too

[00:23:39] we're not

[00:23:39] trying to

[00:23:40] keep these

[00:23:40] people for

[00:23:41] us

[00:23:41] right

[00:23:42] so that

[00:23:43] you can

[00:23:43] meet other

[00:23:44] couples

[00:23:44] and go

[00:23:44] out on

[00:23:45] date nights

[00:23:45] with them

[00:23:46] right

[00:23:46] right

[00:23:48] so what

[00:23:49] how does

[00:23:50] it um

[00:23:51] how did

[00:23:52] how important

[00:23:52] do you think

[00:23:53] that sense

[00:23:54] of community

[00:23:54] is with

[00:23:55] your events

[00:23:56] and do

[00:23:57] the couples

[00:23:58] connect with

[00:23:58] each other

[00:23:59] outside of

[00:24:00] those events

[00:24:01] so um

[00:24:03] community

[00:24:04] is huge

[00:24:05] because that's

[00:24:06] something i feel

[00:24:07] like early on

[00:24:07] my husband

[00:24:08] and i lacked

[00:24:09] because when

[00:24:10] you're not

[00:24:10] in community

[00:24:11] you feel like

[00:24:12] i'm the only

[00:24:13] one going

[00:24:13] through this

[00:24:14] nobody can

[00:24:15] understand my

[00:24:16] struggle

[00:24:16] and then i'm

[00:24:18] ashamed

[00:24:18] so i'm not

[00:24:19] going to share

[00:24:20] that because

[00:24:20] i think

[00:24:21] we're the only

[00:24:22] one that argue

[00:24:23] over toilet

[00:24:24] tissue

[00:24:24] we're the only

[00:24:25] one that argue

[00:24:25] over

[00:24:26] couples don't

[00:24:28] argue over

[00:24:28] that right

[00:24:29] but when we

[00:24:30] become in

[00:24:31] community

[00:24:31] you're like

[00:24:32] oh so

[00:24:34] this is

[00:24:35] normal

[00:24:37] other couples

[00:24:38] have petty

[00:24:38] arguments

[00:24:39] other couples

[00:24:40] talk to each

[00:24:41] other sometimes

[00:24:41] like are y'all

[00:24:43] really married

[00:24:43] right

[00:24:46] yeah

[00:24:46] but it helps

[00:24:47] to normalize

[00:24:48] our struggles

[00:24:48] and it gives

[00:24:49] us strength

[00:24:49] to see

[00:24:50] other couples

[00:24:51] if they can

[00:24:52] get through

[00:24:53] this then

[00:24:53] why should

[00:24:54] we give up

[00:24:54] why should

[00:24:55] we quit

[00:24:56] when there's

[00:24:56] so many other

[00:24:57] couples for

[00:24:58] one that's

[00:24:58] rooting for

[00:24:58] us that's

[00:24:59] supporting us

[00:25:00] because we

[00:25:01] have this

[00:25:02] community

[00:25:02] now as far

[00:25:04] as the

[00:25:04] couples getting

[00:25:04] together outside

[00:25:06] of the community

[00:25:07] they do like

[00:25:08] on social media

[00:25:09] i haven't seen

[00:25:11] anybody like

[00:25:11] really connect

[00:25:13] um like

[00:25:15] outside of the

[00:25:15] events but at

[00:25:16] the events they

[00:25:17] do that's good

[00:25:18] what's very

[00:25:19] surprising to me

[00:25:20] is it's the

[00:25:22] men that's

[00:25:23] doing more

[00:25:23] connecting

[00:25:24] than the

[00:25:24] women

[00:25:25] really

[00:25:26] oh really

[00:25:26] okay

[00:25:27] yes

[00:25:27] that is

[00:25:28] very surprising

[00:25:29] to me

[00:25:29] right

[00:25:30] but i also

[00:25:31] think too

[00:25:32] my husband

[00:25:33] has a huge

[00:25:35] part in that

[00:25:36] as well as

[00:25:36] one of our

[00:25:37] ambassadors

[00:25:38] um

[00:25:40] our ambassador

[00:25:41] is in a

[00:25:42] very he's

[00:25:43] very vulnerable

[00:25:44] with like what

[00:25:45] he's been

[00:25:45] through and

[00:25:46] the struggles

[00:25:46] he's faced

[00:25:47] like being

[00:25:48] divorced

[00:25:48] in another

[00:25:50] marriage

[00:25:50] having a

[00:25:51] blended family

[00:25:52] and so he

[00:25:53] shares that a

[00:25:54] lot

[00:25:54] and he

[00:25:55] normalizes that

[00:25:56] a lot for

[00:25:57] people and

[00:25:57] so because

[00:25:59] men don't

[00:26:00] typically see

[00:26:01] that

[00:26:01] right

[00:26:02] they're like

[00:26:04] oh this is a

[00:26:05] safe space

[00:26:06] for me to

[00:26:06] share

[00:26:07] right

[00:26:08] and i just

[00:26:10] sit back and

[00:26:10] i'm like

[00:26:11] wow

[00:26:11] and and

[00:26:13] they're all

[00:26:13] vulnerable

[00:26:14] and they're

[00:26:15] asking questions

[00:26:15] like if my

[00:26:16] wife is this

[00:26:17] how do i

[00:26:18] meet that

[00:26:18] need and

[00:26:19] i'm like

[00:26:19] beautiful

[00:26:20] i know

[00:26:21] and so i

[00:26:22] that has

[00:26:24] been very

[00:26:24] shocking

[00:26:25] at the

[00:26:25] events that

[00:26:26] the men

[00:26:26] connect and

[00:26:27] so i've

[00:26:27] been trying

[00:26:28] to find a

[00:26:28] way for

[00:26:29] them

[00:26:30] to connect

[00:26:31] outside of

[00:26:32] the community

[00:26:33] because

[00:26:35] women i mean

[00:26:36] we'll meet

[00:26:36] somebody and

[00:26:37] we'll just

[00:26:37] chat it up

[00:26:38] and we'll

[00:26:38] move on

[00:26:39] yeah

[00:26:41] but guys

[00:26:42] like they'll

[00:26:43] just pass

[00:26:43] each other

[00:26:44] and be like

[00:26:44] hey what's

[00:26:45] talking about

[00:26:45] football and

[00:26:46] basketball

[00:26:48] relationships

[00:26:49] it's like

[00:26:50] exactly

[00:26:51] and it's

[00:26:52] almost like

[00:26:53] you feel

[00:26:53] like you

[00:26:53] don't want

[00:26:54] to bother

[00:26:54] anybody with

[00:26:55] your issues

[00:26:55] so in a

[00:26:57] safe space

[00:26:58] you know

[00:26:59] okay well i

[00:27:00] can open up

[00:27:01] now

[00:27:02] they may

[00:27:02] not say

[00:27:03] anything

[00:27:03] the first

[00:27:03] time

[00:27:04] exactly

[00:27:05] second time

[00:27:06] especially if

[00:27:07] you do if

[00:27:07] you do like

[00:27:08] a men's

[00:27:08] gathering

[00:27:10] about

[00:27:10] itself

[00:27:12] exactly

[00:27:13] yeah we've

[00:27:14] been talking

[00:27:14] about having

[00:27:15] like a

[00:27:15] tailgating

[00:27:16] where just

[00:27:17] the guys

[00:27:17] can go

[00:27:18] and you

[00:27:18] know meet

[00:27:19] up and

[00:27:19] have a good

[00:27:20] time because

[00:27:21] um like

[00:27:23] like we have

[00:27:23] our girlfriends

[00:27:24] we got our

[00:27:24] texts our

[00:27:25] texting groups

[00:27:26] and

[00:27:28] get our

[00:27:29] our frustrations

[00:27:30] you know we

[00:27:31] gonna talk to

[00:27:31] our friends

[00:27:32] but for guys

[00:27:33] it's just they

[00:27:34] don't have that

[00:27:35] safe space

[00:27:35] because that's

[00:27:36] the way we've

[00:27:37] been they've

[00:27:37] been socialized

[00:27:38] and the way

[00:27:38] that men

[00:27:39] have been

[00:27:40] taught to

[00:27:40] you know

[00:27:41] you're strong

[00:27:41] bear it

[00:27:43] and all of

[00:27:44] that which

[00:27:44] we have to

[00:27:45] normally like

[00:27:46] we have to

[00:27:47] like kick that

[00:27:48] stigma

[00:27:48] right

[00:27:49] because men

[00:27:50] have challenges

[00:27:50] just like women

[00:27:51] too and when

[00:27:52] they say men

[00:27:53] are emotional

[00:27:53] men have

[00:27:54] emotions too

[00:27:55] exactly

[00:27:56] so what is

[00:27:58] one of the

[00:27:59] most impactful

[00:28:00] success stories

[00:28:01] that love

[00:28:02] with no limits

[00:28:03] has produced

[00:28:05] love minus

[00:28:06] limits

[00:28:06] we get it

[00:28:08] all the time

[00:28:10] um I would

[00:28:11] say so our

[00:28:12] very first

[00:28:13] retreat that's

[00:28:13] something I

[00:28:14] even mentioned

[00:28:14] we do

[00:28:15] retreats as

[00:28:15] well um

[00:28:18] we had a

[00:28:19] couple that

[00:28:20] had just so

[00:28:21] they had been

[00:28:22] together through

[00:28:23] high school um

[00:28:26] until their

[00:28:27] adult years

[00:28:28] kind of

[00:28:29] disconnect

[00:28:29] like um

[00:28:30] broke up

[00:28:32] or whatever

[00:28:32] and they've

[00:28:33] gotten back

[00:28:34] together in

[00:28:34] their adult

[00:28:35] years

[00:28:35] and so

[00:28:37] they decided

[00:28:37] to come

[00:28:38] to our

[00:28:39] retreat

[00:28:41] and before

[00:28:42] coming to

[00:28:43] our retreat

[00:28:43] the um

[00:28:45] the guy

[00:28:46] was kind

[00:28:47] of like

[00:28:48] yeah I'm

[00:28:48] not interested

[00:28:49] in marriage

[00:28:49] I just you

[00:28:50] know we

[00:28:52] can be a

[00:28:52] couple like

[00:28:53] what what's

[00:28:54] the importance

[00:28:55] of marriage

[00:28:56] like why do

[00:28:56] we need to

[00:28:57] be married

[00:28:57] right

[00:28:58] and so um

[00:29:00] like and we

[00:29:01] talked obviously

[00:29:02] we talked a lot

[00:29:03] about marriage

[00:29:04] and so in

[00:29:05] our retreats

[00:29:06] strategically we

[00:29:07] take the

[00:29:08] women and

[00:29:09] we have a

[00:29:09] powwow night

[00:29:10] and the guys

[00:29:11] have a powwow

[00:29:11] night at the

[00:29:12] retreat and

[00:29:14] then we come

[00:29:14] back together

[00:29:15] to just share

[00:29:16] what we've

[00:29:17] learned about

[00:29:17] each other

[00:29:19] and like how

[00:29:20] we connect

[00:29:21] and you know

[00:29:22] the overlaps

[00:29:23] between men

[00:29:24] and women

[00:29:25] and we talk

[00:29:25] about sex

[00:29:26] communication

[00:29:27] parenting

[00:29:28] household

[00:29:29] gender roles

[00:29:30] like we talk

[00:29:31] about it all

[00:29:33] and after

[00:29:34] the retreat

[00:29:36] he proposed

[00:29:40] so he went

[00:29:42] from like

[00:29:42] I don't know

[00:29:44] about marriage

[00:29:44] to like

[00:29:45] he said

[00:29:46] what I didn't

[00:29:47] know was

[00:29:47] healthy marriages

[00:29:48] exist so that

[00:29:49] was the fear

[00:29:50] of marriage

[00:29:51] yes

[00:29:52] yes

[00:29:53] you know I

[00:29:54] think that's

[00:29:54] a lot of

[00:29:56] people like that

[00:29:56] you know they

[00:29:57] choose not to

[00:29:58] because they

[00:29:59] don't see

[00:29:59] healthy marriages

[00:30:00] right

[00:30:01] and they know

[00:30:02] that they exist

[00:30:03] and they know

[00:30:04] that they're out

[00:30:04] there they

[00:30:05] probably would

[00:30:05] want to

[00:30:06] you know

[00:30:07] because they

[00:30:10] haven't seen it

[00:30:11] so it's like

[00:30:11] taboo when you

[00:30:12] haven't seen

[00:30:13] something and

[00:30:13] it's not

[00:30:14] normal for you

[00:30:16] you're used to

[00:30:16] people breaking

[00:30:17] up or having

[00:30:18] toxic relationships

[00:30:19] you're like I

[00:30:20] won't know

[00:30:20] parts of that

[00:30:23] wow and

[00:30:24] with social

[00:30:25] media and

[00:30:26] what

[00:30:27] celebrities

[00:30:28] I can see

[00:30:29] where if

[00:30:30] you don't

[00:30:31] have those

[00:30:31] personal

[00:30:32] examples I

[00:30:33] can see where

[00:30:33] that would

[00:30:34] be the case

[00:30:34] absolutely

[00:30:35] absolutely

[00:30:36] see where

[00:30:36] that would

[00:30:37] be the

[00:30:37] case

[00:30:37] absolutely

[00:30:38] yeah social

[00:30:39] media will

[00:30:40] have you

[00:30:40] believe in

[00:30:42] any and

[00:30:42] everything

[00:30:44] and that's

[00:30:45] one of the

[00:30:46] things that

[00:30:47] we like from

[00:30:48] our experience

[00:30:48] like I

[00:30:50] didn't want

[00:30:50] to do it

[00:30:50] how my mom

[00:30:51] did it

[00:30:51] I didn't

[00:30:52] want to do

[00:30:52] it how my

[00:30:53] daddy did it

[00:30:53] I didn't

[00:30:54] want to do

[00:30:55] it how I

[00:30:55] see my

[00:30:56] auntie them

[00:30:56] do it

[00:30:57] I wanted

[00:30:57] to do it

[00:30:57] our way

[00:30:59] like what

[00:30:59] works for us

[00:31:00] like we

[00:31:01] don't have

[00:31:01] gender roles

[00:31:02] because we

[00:31:03] both work

[00:31:04] we both

[00:31:04] like this

[00:31:05] ain't the

[00:31:06] 1950s anymore

[00:31:07] if you didn't

[00:31:08] just speak

[00:31:09] directly to

[00:31:09] my soul

[00:31:10] to your heart

[00:31:11] yes

[00:31:13] oh my gosh

[00:31:14] because I

[00:31:14] had the perfect

[00:31:15] example of

[00:31:16] what I did

[00:31:16] not want

[00:31:18] and I'm so

[00:31:19] thankful to have

[00:31:20] the I don't

[00:31:21] know I just

[00:31:22] knew what I

[00:31:22] didn't want

[00:31:23] but I was

[00:31:24] turned off

[00:31:25] to marriage

[00:31:25] completely

[00:31:26] yeah

[00:31:27] so that

[00:31:28] that's

[00:31:29] and like

[00:31:29] you said

[00:31:30] one of the

[00:31:31] things that

[00:31:31] he says

[00:31:32] is keep

[00:31:32] people out

[00:31:33] your business

[00:31:34] oh my gosh

[00:31:35] yes

[00:31:36] you know

[00:31:39] I like to

[00:31:40] tell couples

[00:31:40] like when

[00:31:41] we're building

[00:31:41] this fence

[00:31:42] we're building

[00:31:42] it around

[00:31:43] us

[00:31:43] people cannot

[00:31:45] get in this

[00:31:45] fence unless

[00:31:45] we open the

[00:31:46] door and let

[00:31:47] them in

[00:31:47] right

[00:31:48] people in

[00:31:49] my marriage

[00:31:49] just because

[00:31:49] we've let

[00:31:50] them in

[00:31:50] right

[00:31:52] people don't

[00:31:53] need to be

[00:31:53] in your

[00:31:54] marriage

[00:31:55] right

[00:31:55] what happens

[00:31:57] is

[00:31:59] you're listening

[00:32:00] to these

[00:32:00] opinions

[00:32:00] these opinions

[00:32:01] and these

[00:32:02] people have

[00:32:02] not even

[00:32:03] had any

[00:32:03] type of

[00:32:04] healthy

[00:32:04] relationships

[00:32:06] positive

[00:32:07] relationship

[00:32:08] experiences

[00:32:09] and they're

[00:32:11] trying to tell

[00:32:11] you what to

[00:32:12] do because

[00:32:13] they're miserable

[00:32:14] and so they

[00:32:16] want you to

[00:32:16] be miserable

[00:32:17] with them

[00:32:18] right

[00:32:18] exactly

[00:32:19] I'm not

[00:32:19] joining that

[00:32:20] club

[00:32:20] absolutely

[00:32:21] subscribe me

[00:32:22] any day

[00:32:23] right

[00:32:23] I don't even

[00:32:24] want to know

[00:32:25] what's going

[00:32:25] on

[00:32:26] and one

[00:32:28] thing that we

[00:32:29] learned was

[00:32:29] that sometimes

[00:32:30] those individuals

[00:32:32] who have a

[00:32:33] healthy

[00:32:34] relationship

[00:32:35] you still

[00:32:36] don't have to

[00:32:37] necessarily

[00:32:37] follow that

[00:32:38] advice

[00:32:39] right

[00:32:39] you do what

[00:32:40] works

[00:32:41] what

[00:32:41] for you

[00:32:42] exactly

[00:32:43] and that's

[00:32:44] what you

[00:32:45] know we had

[00:32:45] to being

[00:32:46] young

[00:32:46] you lean

[00:32:48] on those

[00:32:48] role models

[00:32:50] and things

[00:32:51] we come

[00:32:52] together

[00:32:52] and I'm

[00:32:53] like look

[00:32:53] that was

[00:32:54] beautiful

[00:32:54] advice

[00:32:55] exactly

[00:32:57] that ain't

[00:32:58] gonna work

[00:32:58] up in here

[00:32:59] I mean

[00:33:01] that was a

[00:33:01] good

[00:33:02] sound

[00:33:03] right

[00:33:05] and you

[00:33:06] know if

[00:33:06] we make

[00:33:07] a bad

[00:33:08] choice

[00:33:08] and the

[00:33:08] consequence

[00:33:09] is not

[00:33:09] what we

[00:33:10] expected

[00:33:10] well it's

[00:33:11] on us

[00:33:14] so um

[00:33:15] that that

[00:33:16] was a lesson

[00:33:16] that we

[00:33:17] learned

[00:33:17] early on

[00:33:18] the same

[00:33:19] lesson

[00:33:19] like we

[00:33:20] originally we

[00:33:21] came in

[00:33:22] thinking like

[00:33:22] okay this

[00:33:23] is what the

[00:33:23] woman do

[00:33:24] this is what

[00:33:24] the man

[00:33:25] supposed to

[00:33:25] do and

[00:33:26] I was like

[00:33:27] this ain't

[00:33:28] working for

[00:33:28] me because

[00:33:29] this laundry

[00:33:30] this ain't

[00:33:31] it

[00:33:34] we got

[00:33:34] three kids

[00:33:35] I can't

[00:33:36] keep up

[00:33:36] with this

[00:33:38] you had

[00:33:40] us making

[00:33:40] some really

[00:33:41] silly deals

[00:33:42] once it

[00:33:43] was in

[00:33:43] execution

[00:33:44] time

[00:33:44] yeah

[00:33:45] it was

[00:33:46] what um

[00:33:47] the laundry

[00:33:48] I would do

[00:33:49] it and you

[00:33:50] would fold

[00:33:50] it and put

[00:33:51] it up

[00:33:52] and

[00:33:56] that didn't

[00:33:57] work

[00:33:57] well

[00:33:57] the other

[00:33:59] day we were

[00:33:59] talking about

[00:34:00] when our

[00:34:00] son was a

[00:34:01] baby

[00:34:02] um

[00:34:04] I would

[00:34:04] get up

[00:34:05] during the

[00:34:05] week

[00:34:06] he would

[00:34:07] get up

[00:34:07] on weekends

[00:34:09] you're like

[00:34:09] this math

[00:34:10] ain't math

[00:34:11] my thursday

[00:34:16] i was

[00:34:17] mad at

[00:34:18] him

[00:34:18] the baby

[00:34:19] the name

[00:34:20] everybody

[00:34:24] like what

[00:34:25] have i

[00:34:25] agreed to

[00:34:26] and i'm

[00:34:27] sitting there

[00:34:28] holding the

[00:34:28] baby feeding

[00:34:29] him and

[00:34:29] he is just

[00:34:30] getting it

[00:34:31] in

[00:34:31] oh

[00:34:32] i understand

[00:34:33] i remember

[00:34:34] when our

[00:34:36] kids were

[00:34:36] babies and

[00:34:37] because we

[00:34:38] had them

[00:34:38] kind of like

[00:34:39] back to

[00:34:39] back

[00:34:41] i'm

[00:34:41] sitting i

[00:34:41] would tell

[00:34:42] my husband

[00:34:42] go get

[00:34:42] the baby

[00:34:43] like you

[00:34:44] hear the

[00:34:44] baby crying

[00:34:45] like go

[00:34:45] get the

[00:34:46] baby

[00:34:47] he go get

[00:34:48] the baby

[00:34:48] and bring

[00:34:48] it to me

[00:34:49] that's

[00:34:49] that's

[00:34:49] not what

[00:34:50] i mean

[00:34:50] right

[00:34:54] feed the

[00:34:55] baby

[00:34:55] change the

[00:34:55] baby

[00:34:55] right

[00:34:56] yeah

[00:34:57] yeah

[00:34:57] don't look

[00:34:58] don't bring

[00:34:59] that baby

[00:34:59] in here

[00:35:00] uh-uh

[00:35:01] i don't want

[00:35:02] it right now

[00:35:03] hey look

[00:35:04] i tell you

[00:35:05] what's funny

[00:35:06] though

[00:35:06] we be sitting

[00:35:08] in the dog

[00:35:08] on bed

[00:35:09] both of

[00:35:10] us sleep

[00:35:11] we both

[00:35:11] know we

[00:35:12] hear the

[00:35:12] baby

[00:35:13] but we

[00:35:13] try to

[00:35:14] see who

[00:35:14] gonna get

[00:35:15] up

[00:35:15] first

[00:35:16] look

[00:35:16] i can

[00:35:17] hear the

[00:35:17] dog on

[00:35:18] baby

[00:35:18] cry

[00:35:18] but i'm

[00:35:19] like

[00:35:20] trying to

[00:35:20] play sleep

[00:35:22] can she

[00:35:23] move yet

[00:35:24] oh

[00:35:26] and

[00:35:26] and that

[00:35:27] was

[00:35:27] and that's

[00:35:28] one of

[00:35:28] the things

[00:35:29] that you

[00:35:30] know

[00:35:30] we

[00:35:31] we worked

[00:35:32] through it

[00:35:32] and then

[00:35:33] of course

[00:35:33] with the

[00:35:34] next one

[00:35:34] it was a

[00:35:35] little bit

[00:35:35] better

[00:35:36] but

[00:35:36] yeah

[00:35:36] those are

[00:35:37] the times

[00:35:38] that you

[00:35:39] have to

[00:35:39] be able

[00:35:40] to come

[00:35:40] together

[00:35:41] and realize

[00:35:42] okay i'm

[00:35:42] angry right

[00:35:43] now because

[00:35:44] i'm gonna

[00:35:44] get up

[00:35:45] i'm gonna

[00:35:45] let you

[00:35:45] slide

[00:35:46] but we're

[00:35:47] gonna talk

[00:35:48] about this

[00:35:48] and see

[00:35:49] how we can

[00:35:50] work through

[00:35:50] these things

[00:35:51] and that's

[00:35:52] when the

[00:35:52] friendship

[00:35:52] is so

[00:35:53] important

[00:35:54] yes

[00:35:54] because

[00:35:56] that helps

[00:35:57] pull you

[00:35:57] through

[00:35:57] because

[00:35:58] sometimes

[00:35:59] that i'm

[00:35:59] really feeling

[00:36:00] you or i

[00:36:00] don't really

[00:36:01] like you

[00:36:01] because we

[00:36:02] have this

[00:36:02] strong bond

[00:36:03] this strong

[00:36:03] connection

[00:36:04] that's our

[00:36:05] friendship

[00:36:06] yes

[00:36:08] we can work

[00:36:09] through it

[00:36:09] but if we

[00:36:10] don't have

[00:36:10] that bond

[00:36:11] right

[00:36:13] that's

[00:36:14] you may

[00:36:14] not make

[00:36:15] it

[00:36:15] that's one

[00:36:16] of the

[00:36:16] things that

[00:36:17] we say

[00:36:17] over and

[00:36:18] over again

[00:36:18] is that

[00:36:19] friendship

[00:36:19] and also

[00:36:20] the

[00:36:22] love is

[00:36:23] relatively

[00:36:24] easy

[00:36:24] but it's

[00:36:25] that like

[00:36:26] and that

[00:36:27] like

[00:36:28] i need

[00:36:28] to like

[00:36:29] you

[00:36:29] which means

[00:36:30] we treat

[00:36:30] each other

[00:36:31] as friends

[00:36:31] exactly

[00:36:32] cultivate

[00:36:33] a natural

[00:36:33] friendship

[00:36:34] so

[00:36:35] it's the

[00:36:36] funny part

[00:36:37] about it

[00:36:37] like you

[00:36:38] know

[00:36:39] what's up

[00:36:39] where i

[00:36:40] work at

[00:36:40] it's a lot

[00:36:41] of men

[00:36:43] we have

[00:36:44] conversations

[00:36:44] you know

[00:36:46] of course

[00:36:46] i don't

[00:36:47] talk about

[00:36:48] their wives

[00:36:48] and they're

[00:36:49] something

[00:36:49] like

[00:36:50] yeah i

[00:36:51] see why

[00:36:51] you ain't

[00:36:52] getting

[00:36:52] none

[00:36:52] because

[00:36:55] when you

[00:36:56] just talked

[00:36:56] to her

[00:36:56] about some

[00:36:57] salad

[00:36:58] exactly

[00:37:00] i had

[00:37:01] one joke

[00:37:01] he was

[00:37:02] complaining

[00:37:02] about some

[00:37:03] salad dressing

[00:37:04] or something

[00:37:04] and his

[00:37:06] wife took

[00:37:07] the last

[00:37:07] salad dressing

[00:37:08] i'm like

[00:37:09] that's the

[00:37:10] big deal

[00:37:11] right how

[00:37:12] many stories

[00:37:12] did you pass

[00:37:13] to get

[00:37:13] you right

[00:37:14] battles

[00:37:16] exactly

[00:37:17] that's the

[00:37:18] key

[00:37:18] choosing

[00:37:19] your battles

[00:37:19] like

[00:37:19] no

[00:37:20] it's

[00:37:21] worth

[00:37:21] the

[00:37:21] fight

[00:37:21] right

[00:37:22] attention

[00:37:23] and what

[00:37:23] is not

[00:37:24] what is

[00:37:25] what is

[00:37:26] not

[00:37:27] right

[00:37:28] and not

[00:37:29] acting on

[00:37:29] everything

[00:37:30] that i feel

[00:37:31] because

[00:37:31] them feelings

[00:37:33] boil

[00:37:33] and get

[00:37:33] you in

[00:37:34] some stuff

[00:37:34] yes

[00:37:35] yes

[00:37:36] right

[00:37:38] right

[00:37:40] but

[00:37:41] then

[00:37:42] okay

[00:37:42] yelling

[00:37:43] is not

[00:37:43] going to

[00:37:43] solve

[00:37:44] anything

[00:37:44] yelling

[00:37:44] is not

[00:37:45] going to

[00:37:45] do

[00:37:45] anything

[00:37:46] so let

[00:37:46] me

[00:37:47] respond

[00:37:47] in a

[00:37:48] calmly

[00:37:48] manner

[00:37:49] right

[00:37:49] or let

[00:37:51] me stop

[00:37:51] and really

[00:37:52] replay

[00:37:52] what just

[00:37:53] happened

[00:37:54] to make

[00:37:55] sure

[00:37:55] that

[00:37:55] that i'm

[00:37:56] even

[00:37:57] hearing

[00:37:57] correctly

[00:37:58] what's

[00:37:58] going on

[00:37:59] or understanding

[00:38:00] it correctly

[00:38:00] because sometimes

[00:38:01] in the heat

[00:38:03] of the moment

[00:38:04] things get

[00:38:05] twisted

[00:38:06] yes

[00:38:06] i've learned

[00:38:08] that that's

[00:38:09] not the time

[00:38:09] for me

[00:38:10] to say

[00:38:11] what comes

[00:38:11] to mind

[00:38:13] i have to

[00:38:14] stop and pause

[00:38:14] yeah that i call

[00:38:16] it that sacred

[00:38:17] pause i'm like

[00:38:17] take that sacred

[00:38:19] pause

[00:38:19] pause

[00:38:20] don't do

[00:38:21] not use

[00:38:22] your knee

[00:38:23] jerk reaction

[00:38:23] that is what

[00:38:25] typically sends

[00:38:26] us down

[00:38:27] the spiral

[00:38:27] into these

[00:38:28] negative cycles

[00:38:29] and a lot

[00:38:30] of we get

[00:38:31] stuck there

[00:38:31] sometimes

[00:38:32] because we're

[00:38:33] using the same

[00:38:34] like

[00:38:36] response

[00:38:36] we're using

[00:38:37] that knee

[00:38:37] jerk reaction

[00:38:38] i feel it

[00:38:39] i gotta say

[00:38:40] it i think

[00:38:41] it it must

[00:38:42] be true

[00:38:42] wait

[00:38:43] sometimes

[00:38:43] i have to

[00:38:44] question

[00:38:45] why is this

[00:38:46] an issue

[00:38:46] for me

[00:38:47] why is this

[00:38:47] a big deal

[00:38:48] for me

[00:38:49] before i even

[00:38:50] talk to my

[00:38:50] husband about

[00:38:51] it like

[00:38:52] check on me

[00:38:53] let me see

[00:38:53] what this is

[00:38:54] bringing up

[00:38:55] for me

[00:38:55] maybe it's

[00:38:56] something from

[00:38:56] my past

[00:38:57] that i

[00:38:57] haven't

[00:38:57] resolved

[00:38:58] that i'm

[00:38:59] a big issue

[00:39:00] of and it's

[00:39:01] really not

[00:39:01] that big

[00:39:02] of a deal

[00:39:03] and that's

[00:39:03] why self

[00:39:04] awareness

[00:39:05] yes

[00:39:06] so important

[00:39:07] like i have

[00:39:08] to check in

[00:39:08] with myself

[00:39:09] and be like

[00:39:12] what's going

[00:39:13] on with me

[00:39:14] once again

[00:39:15] before i start

[00:39:16] projecting on

[00:39:17] him

[00:39:17] yes

[00:39:18] yes

[00:39:18] and and then

[00:39:20] let me be

[00:39:21] humble enough

[00:39:22] to admit

[00:39:23] okay i just

[00:39:25] took that out

[00:39:25] of context

[00:39:26] um for me

[00:39:29] i'm really

[00:39:30] bad about

[00:39:30] i'm i'm

[00:39:32] playing and

[00:39:32] i'm over

[00:39:33] analyzing and

[00:39:34] i'm looking

[00:39:35] at him and

[00:39:36] he has moved

[00:39:37] on like i'm

[00:39:39] sitting up here

[00:39:41] still thinking

[00:39:42] about it and

[00:39:43] in my thoughts

[00:39:44] i'm thinking

[00:39:45] what he

[00:39:45] thinking

[00:39:46] exactly

[00:39:46] he probably

[00:39:47] think he

[00:39:48] probably

[00:39:48] and then you

[00:39:49] know i look

[00:39:50] over at him

[00:39:51] and say well

[00:39:51] you know well

[00:39:52] this is what

[00:39:53] i thought you

[00:39:53] meant

[00:39:53] talking about

[00:39:57] two different

[00:39:57] languages

[00:39:58] there you go

[00:39:59] i love that

[00:39:59] movie game

[00:40:00] where the couple

[00:40:01] was laying

[00:40:01] in bed

[00:40:02] and the woman

[00:40:03] is like i bet

[00:40:03] you're sitting

[00:40:04] up there thinking

[00:40:05] about some

[00:40:06] woman he

[00:40:06] talking to at

[00:40:07] the job or

[00:40:08] something and

[00:40:09] the cloud shows

[00:40:10] him he's like

[00:40:11] i wonder if

[00:40:11] megatron

[00:40:14] you know

[00:40:15] optimus prime

[00:40:16] if they fight

[00:40:17] if they were

[00:40:18] you know

[00:40:18] what i'm saying

[00:40:18] like

[00:40:20] exactly

[00:40:21] in a whole

[00:40:22] other

[00:40:22] cop in a

[00:40:23] whole nother

[00:40:24] world

[00:40:25] i'm thinking

[00:40:25] about how

[00:40:26] i'm gonna

[00:40:26] get this

[00:40:27] transmission

[00:40:28] fix

[00:40:28] exactly

[00:40:29] exactly

[00:40:30] it's always

[00:40:31] and that's

[00:40:32] the thing

[00:40:33] though like

[00:40:33] we create

[00:40:35] these stories

[00:40:36] in our

[00:40:36] heads

[00:40:37] right

[00:40:37] we create

[00:40:38] the narratives

[00:40:39] and we

[00:40:39] run with

[00:40:40] them like

[00:40:41] they are

[00:40:41] true

[00:40:42] yes

[00:40:43] never stop

[00:40:44] to question

[00:40:45] like

[00:40:45] where did

[00:40:47] i get

[00:40:47] that from

[00:40:48] right

[00:40:48] make this

[00:40:50] up

[00:40:50] right

[00:40:51] it's me

[00:40:53] i've put

[00:40:54] it through

[00:40:55] my filter

[00:40:55] and now

[00:40:56] right

[00:40:57] to be

[00:40:57] true

[00:40:58] look

[00:40:59] i had a

[00:40:59] conversation

[00:41:00] with you

[00:41:00] about it

[00:41:01] but i already

[00:41:01] know it's

[00:41:02] true so i didn't

[00:41:03] want your opinion

[00:41:03] now

[00:41:04] because i had the

[00:41:06] whole conversation

[00:41:07] with you in my

[00:41:07] head

[00:41:08] exactly

[00:41:09] and now i'm

[00:41:09] punishing you

[00:41:10] for a conversation

[00:41:17] because i didn't

[00:41:18] say what you

[00:41:18] thought i was

[00:41:19] gonna say

[00:41:21] and i need to

[00:41:22] give you an

[00:41:22] opportunity to

[00:41:23] say anything

[00:41:23] that's not as

[00:41:25] bad as i

[00:41:25] woke up one

[00:41:26] morning

[00:41:27] mad

[00:41:28] you know

[00:41:28] over a

[00:41:29] dream

[00:41:30] yep

[00:41:30] i was

[00:41:31] i mean i

[00:41:32] was mad

[00:41:33] mad

[00:41:33] over a

[00:41:35] dream

[00:41:35] now

[00:41:36] the flip

[00:41:37] side of

[00:41:37] that is

[00:41:39] he recently

[00:41:40] did that

[00:41:41] with me

[00:41:41] so you

[00:41:42] understand

[00:41:42] now

[00:41:44] so real

[00:41:45] it feels

[00:41:47] real

[00:41:47] yes

[00:41:49] so

[00:41:49] and we're

[00:41:50] as we

[00:41:51] start to

[00:41:51] wrap up

[00:41:52] because

[00:41:53] we could

[00:41:53] keep going

[00:41:54] but we're

[00:41:55] gonna

[00:41:55] we're gonna

[00:41:55] rein it in

[00:41:56] what

[00:41:57] what

[00:41:58] advice

[00:41:59] would you

[00:41:59] give our

[00:42:00] listeners

[00:42:00] who are in

[00:42:02] relationships

[00:42:02] and they

[00:42:03] want to

[00:42:04] make sure

[00:42:04] that they're

[00:42:05] on the

[00:42:05] correct

[00:42:06] trajectory

[00:42:07] to to

[00:42:08] being

[00:42:08] resilient

[00:42:09] happy

[00:42:10] healthy

[00:42:10] couples

[00:42:11] what's

[00:42:11] the one

[00:42:12] thing that

[00:42:12] you can

[00:42:13] say to

[00:42:13] them

[00:42:14] that can

[00:42:15] give them

[00:42:16] that that

[00:42:17] push in

[00:42:17] the correct

[00:42:18] direction

[00:42:18] so that

[00:42:19] they're building

[00:42:20] something that's

[00:42:20] solid

[00:42:22] one thing

[00:42:23] that i

[00:42:25] cannot

[00:42:26] preach

[00:42:27] enough

[00:42:28] to couples

[00:42:29] is the

[00:42:29] importance

[00:42:30] of

[00:42:31] truly

[00:42:34] understanding

[00:42:35] the person

[00:42:36] that you're

[00:42:37] with

[00:42:37] yes

[00:42:39] because

[00:42:39] sometimes

[00:42:40] we have

[00:42:41] expectations

[00:42:42] for each

[00:42:43] other

[00:42:43] yes

[00:42:44] that are

[00:42:46] not

[00:42:46] realistic

[00:42:47] right

[00:42:48] and

[00:42:49] we don't

[00:42:51] understand

[00:42:52] because

[00:42:52] i married

[00:42:53] you

[00:42:54] this way

[00:42:56] you were

[00:42:57] this way

[00:42:58] when i

[00:42:58] married

[00:42:58] you

[00:43:00] now

[00:43:00] we're

[00:43:00] three

[00:43:01] four

[00:43:01] five

[00:43:01] years

[00:43:02] in

[00:43:02] now

[00:43:02] i'm

[00:43:02] expecting

[00:43:03] you

[00:43:03] to be

[00:43:04] somebody

[00:43:04] completely

[00:43:05] different

[00:43:07] i'm trying

[00:43:08] to fundamentally

[00:43:09] change your

[00:43:10] character

[00:43:10] because

[00:43:11] this is

[00:43:12] how i

[00:43:12] want you

[00:43:13] to be

[00:43:14] but when

[00:43:15] i married

[00:43:16] you

[00:43:16] right

[00:43:17] you told

[00:43:17] me all

[00:43:18] these

[00:43:18] things

[00:43:20] and so

[00:43:21] understanding

[00:43:22] the person

[00:43:22] that i

[00:43:23] married

[00:43:23] you didn't

[00:43:24] have the

[00:43:24] capacity

[00:43:25] for this

[00:43:26] in the

[00:43:27] beginning

[00:43:27] right

[00:43:28] so now

[00:43:29] would i

[00:43:29] expect you

[00:43:30] to have

[00:43:30] this

[00:43:31] capacity

[00:43:31] when we've

[00:43:32] done no

[00:43:32] work on

[00:43:33] it

[00:43:33] we've

[00:43:34] not had

[00:43:34] many

[00:43:34] healthy

[00:43:35] or positive

[00:43:36] conversations

[00:43:37] about it

[00:43:37] so truly

[00:43:38] understanding

[00:43:39] the person

[00:43:40] that you

[00:43:40] married

[00:43:41] and really

[00:43:42] thinking

[00:43:42] about the

[00:43:43] expectations

[00:43:44] that you

[00:43:45] have

[00:43:45] from your

[00:43:46] spouse

[00:43:46] in

[00:43:47] relationships

[00:43:47] because

[00:43:49] expectations

[00:43:50] will lead

[00:43:52] us

[00:43:52] to

[00:43:53] divorce

[00:43:54] court

[00:43:54] so quick

[00:43:55] we could

[00:43:56] have just

[00:43:57] had so

[00:43:57] many

[00:43:58] conversations

[00:43:58] understanding

[00:44:00] empathy

[00:44:01] all these

[00:44:01] things go

[00:44:02] out the

[00:44:02] window

[00:44:02] when we

[00:44:03] get married

[00:44:04] because we

[00:44:04] expect

[00:44:05] something

[00:44:05] magical

[00:44:06] to appear

[00:44:07] marriage

[00:44:09] is not

[00:44:10] the finish

[00:44:10] line

[00:44:11] that's the

[00:44:11] start line

[00:44:12] right

[00:44:13] right

[00:44:14] and so

[00:44:15] that's

[00:44:16] where we

[00:44:16] start

[00:44:17] blending

[00:44:17] our lives

[00:44:18] together

[00:44:18] and that

[00:44:19] gets messy

[00:44:20] yes

[00:44:21] because we

[00:44:22] are two

[00:44:22] individuals

[00:44:23] with two

[00:44:25] separate

[00:44:25] upbringings

[00:44:26] two different

[00:44:27] experiences

[00:44:27] of relationships

[00:44:28] and now

[00:44:30] we have to

[00:44:30] start a new

[00:44:31] slate

[00:44:32] with the

[00:44:32] both of

[00:44:33] us

[00:44:34] because we

[00:44:35] go into

[00:44:35] marriage

[00:44:36] with these

[00:44:36] high

[00:44:37] expectations

[00:44:38] sometimes

[00:44:39] no

[00:44:40] preparation

[00:44:40] or low

[00:44:41] preparation

[00:44:42] right

[00:44:43] right

[00:44:43] and so

[00:44:44] really

[00:44:44] invest

[00:44:45] in your

[00:44:45] marriage

[00:44:46] to

[00:44:47] understand

[00:44:47] each

[00:44:48] other

[00:44:48] and

[00:44:49] invest

[00:44:50] in

[00:44:50] your

[00:44:50] marriage

[00:44:50] I

[00:44:50] don't

[00:44:50] mean

[00:44:51] going

[00:44:51] on

[00:44:51] one

[00:44:52] week

[00:44:52] vacations

[00:44:52] that's

[00:44:53] nice

[00:44:53] and all

[00:44:54] right

[00:44:54] yeah

[00:44:55] but you

[00:44:56] really have

[00:44:56] to understand

[00:44:57] the dynamics

[00:44:58] that are at

[00:44:59] play in

[00:44:59] your relationship

[00:45:00] and how

[00:45:01] do we

[00:45:01] work together

[00:45:02] as a

[00:45:02] team

[00:45:03] teamwork

[00:45:05] well

[00:45:05] and I

[00:45:06] it's so

[00:45:06] cliche

[00:45:07] teamwork

[00:45:07] makes

[00:45:08] the

[00:45:08] dream

[00:45:08] work

[00:45:08] but teamwork

[00:45:09] is so

[00:45:10] key

[00:45:10] in marriage

[00:45:11] it will

[00:45:13] definitely

[00:45:13] help you

[00:45:14] with

[00:45:14] understanding

[00:45:15] this is

[00:45:17] the person

[00:45:17] I married

[00:45:18] he was lazy

[00:45:19] she was lazy

[00:45:21] when I married her

[00:45:21] right

[00:45:22] right

[00:45:22] her mama

[00:45:24] was still

[00:45:25] doing her

[00:45:25] lines

[00:45:25] I mean

[00:45:26] like

[00:45:26] right

[00:45:26] so why

[00:45:27] would you

[00:45:28] right

[00:45:29] and we

[00:45:30] have to

[00:45:30] teach each

[00:45:31] other

[00:45:32] right

[00:45:32] how to

[00:45:33] treat

[00:45:33] how to

[00:45:34] be

[00:45:34] in a

[00:45:35] relationship

[00:45:37] yes

[00:45:37] and men

[00:45:38] need to

[00:45:39] understand

[00:45:39] that

[00:45:41] mama

[00:45:41] and

[00:45:41] grandmama

[00:45:42] while they

[00:45:44] were some

[00:45:44] great

[00:45:44] women

[00:45:45] and they

[00:45:46] did

[00:45:46] wonderful

[00:45:46] things

[00:45:47] but you

[00:45:48] can't expect

[00:45:49] your wife

[00:45:49] to be like

[00:45:50] mama

[00:45:50] and grandma

[00:45:51] and they

[00:45:54] have that

[00:45:54] expectation

[00:45:56] exactly

[00:45:57] exactly

[00:45:58] and if you

[00:45:59] listen to

[00:45:59] social media

[00:46:00] that's what

[00:46:00] they'll tell

[00:46:01] you

[00:46:01] right

[00:46:01] yeah

[00:46:02] exactly

[00:46:02] that's what

[00:46:03] I see it

[00:46:04] all the times

[00:46:06] grandma used

[00:46:07] to do it

[00:46:07] and mama

[00:46:08] used to do

[00:46:08] it

[00:46:08] look at

[00:46:11] mama's

[00:46:11] relationship

[00:46:13] right

[00:46:13] think about

[00:46:14] the attitude

[00:46:15] they had

[00:46:15] while they

[00:46:16] did it

[00:46:16] were they

[00:46:16] happy

[00:46:17] doing it

[00:46:17] nah

[00:46:18] you know

[00:46:20] and I'm not

[00:46:21] sure how

[00:46:21] you're doing

[00:46:23] look

[00:46:24] right

[00:46:24] right

[00:46:25] my role

[00:46:25] is completely

[00:46:26] different

[00:46:27] maybe

[00:46:27] maybe it's

[00:46:29] because

[00:46:29] mama made

[00:46:30] her do

[00:46:31] it

[00:46:31] then

[00:46:32] and she

[00:46:33] said

[00:46:33] but when I

[00:46:34] get married

[00:46:34] I ain't

[00:46:34] doing all

[00:46:35] that

[00:46:37] exactly

[00:46:38] exactly

[00:46:39] exactly

[00:46:39] and one last

[00:46:41] thing I want to

[00:46:41] say is we

[00:46:41] have to work

[00:46:42] on ourselves

[00:46:43] yes

[00:46:44] we have to

[00:46:45] work on

[00:46:46] ourselves

[00:46:46] because

[00:46:47] we all

[00:46:48] have things

[00:46:49] that's in

[00:46:50] our backpack

[00:46:50] that we are

[00:46:52] packing each

[00:46:53] and every

[00:46:53] day

[00:46:53] and we

[00:46:54] just want

[00:46:55] to drop

[00:46:55] that bag

[00:46:56] at our

[00:46:56] partner

[00:46:57] our

[00:46:57] spouse's

[00:46:58] feet

[00:46:58] and expect

[00:46:59] them to help

[00:47:00] us unpack

[00:47:00] that

[00:47:01] that's not

[00:47:01] theirs to

[00:47:02] carry

[00:47:02] that's yours

[00:47:03] you have to

[00:47:04] deal with

[00:47:04] your past

[00:47:05] trauma

[00:47:05] your past

[00:47:06] relationship

[00:47:06] your mama

[00:47:07] your daddy

[00:47:08] issues

[00:47:08] whatever those

[00:47:09] things that's

[00:47:10] in your

[00:47:10] backpack

[00:47:10] you have to

[00:47:11] deal with

[00:47:12] that so that

[00:47:13] it's not

[00:47:13] shadowing

[00:47:14] over

[00:47:15] relationship

[00:47:16] right

[00:47:17] right

[00:47:17] I love it

[00:47:18] that's so

[00:47:18] true

[00:47:19] I love it

[00:47:19] and so

[00:47:21] for the

[00:47:22] listeners who

[00:47:23] want to learn

[00:47:24] more about

[00:47:25] you and

[00:47:26] love minus

[00:47:27] limits

[00:47:27] where can

[00:47:29] they find

[00:47:29] you

[00:47:29] so we

[00:47:31] are on

[00:47:31] facebook

[00:47:32] and instagram

[00:47:33] at love

[00:47:34] minus limits

[00:47:35] llc

[00:47:36] our website