Minding Your Money with Kristle Brooks

[00:00:03] After over 25 years of marriage, we've learned that successful couples have great friendships, put each other first, and focus on light just as much as love. We believe marriage should be fun and easy.

[00:00:15] Our goal is to share our journey with the hopes of helping others build strong, happy relationships. Join us as we continue to create our lives beyond I do.

[00:00:36] Do you and your partner want to learn simple ways to grow closer?

[00:00:39] Do you and your partner want to grow happier together?

[00:00:43] Do you and your partner want to be a unified front?

[00:00:46] Do you and your partner want to divorce-proof your marriage?

[00:00:50] If you answer yes to these questions, you need to check out our book, A Locker Forever, 10 Keys to a Successful Marriage Beyond I Do.

[00:00:59] Each section focuses on a different aspect of marriage and briefly describes how we handled it in our relationship.

[00:01:05] At the end of the section, you're given an action step or key to complete with your partner.

[00:01:10] These keys are practical steps you can immediately implement in your relationship and help you or your partner be proactive and intentional about your relationship.

[00:01:20] You can purchase your copy on Amazon.com.

[00:01:23] And until next time, we will holler at y'all.

[00:01:27] We are not marriage counselors nor are we mental health professionals.

[00:01:39] We're just simply sharing y'all how we navigated through our marriage.

[00:01:42] Now, on with the show.

[00:02:00] We'd like to welcome you back to the Beyond I Do podcast.

[00:02:03] And we have a special guest with us today.

[00:02:06] It goes by the name of Crystal Brooks.

[00:02:09] Crystal Brooks is the CEO of Crystal Brooks Investments, LLC.

[00:02:14] And she's here to talk to us about financial literacy and financial trump.

[00:02:20] So welcome, Crystal.

[00:02:22] Welcome.

[00:02:23] Thank you for having me.

[00:02:24] I'm so happy to be here with you guys today.

[00:02:26] Awesome.

[00:02:27] We're glad to have you.

[00:02:28] We're glad to have you.

[00:02:29] Thank you for having me.

[00:02:31] Meet and greet.

[00:02:32] And before we got started, we've been talking like old friends.

[00:02:36] So we're excited to have you with us.

[00:02:38] Yes.

[00:02:39] Yep.

[00:02:39] So if you would tell us a little bit about yourself and what it is that you do.

[00:02:45] I am Crystal Brooks.

[00:02:47] And I say, hey, Crystal with a K because Crystal is spelled with a K.

[00:02:51] I spell my name different.

[00:02:51] So I have to let people know.

[00:02:53] But I am the owner and independent life insurance advisor of Crystal Brooks Investments.

[00:02:59] The core values of my company is to be an educator, a resource, and being in the community.

[00:03:05] I don't want to just come at my potential clients and just sell something to them.

[00:03:10] It's about I want to educate them about financial products, be a resource to them, and then be out in the community where people aren't waiting, you know, wondering, where can I get this information from?

[00:03:21] I'm going to them to bring the information.

[00:03:24] Right.

[00:03:24] That's awesome.

[00:03:25] That's awesome.

[00:03:26] A lot of times, you know there's information out there.

[00:03:30] You know you need to know it, but you don't know where to look.

[00:03:34] Right.

[00:03:34] That's awesome.

[00:03:37] Yes.

[00:03:38] Right.

[00:03:38] Right.

[00:03:38] I understood that because I forgot to say I specialize in life insurance, retirement planning, and financial literacy education.

[00:03:45] So like you said, most people don't know.

[00:03:47] And a lot of times as financial people, we wait for somebody to come to us.

[00:03:51] Well, I understood that.

[00:03:53] So I said instead of waiting for people to come to me, I can go to them and give them the information, you know.

[00:03:59] So that way they know, hey, I'm out here.

[00:04:01] I'm a good person to sit down and talk with.

[00:04:04] We're not just going to talk about, you know, what your problem is, but I want them to feel comfortable enough talking to me because finances is something that people don't like to talk about.

[00:04:13] Right.

[00:04:14] We've been told you don't talk about your business.

[00:04:16] You don't tell anybody this.

[00:04:18] Or we're embarrassed that we're going to be judged and people are going to look down on us.

[00:04:22] So we like, you know what, I can't talk about this.

[00:04:24] So let me just keep quiet.

[00:04:25] And that's the wrong thing to do.

[00:04:27] And a lot of, like, you know, like you said, you get embarrassed.

[00:04:33] There's the shame.

[00:04:34] So you start to look for stuff yourself.

[00:04:36] And it tells you to start at this place and you start to save or you start to do this.

[00:04:41] But if you are in a position to where you're trying to get out of debt or get above water, even, you know, trying to say people say, you know, just save a little bit.

[00:04:51] That seems unattainable if you're in that, you know, in a bad spot.

[00:04:59] And so to have a resource that you can go to, you know, that's beneficial.

[00:05:04] And like you said, you get to know the client.

[00:05:08] So it removes that shame or that guilt.

[00:05:13] Yes.

[00:05:13] Yes.

[00:05:14] Plus, when it comes to our community, we need to see somebody like us who can say, you know what?

[00:05:19] I didn't grow up learning about finances.

[00:05:21] I didn't.

[00:05:22] I've had financial struggles.

[00:05:24] I found my why with my finances.

[00:05:27] So why not help other people find their why?

[00:05:29] Because a lot of times, like you said, we are starting out trying to read books, looking on social media and trying to do mimic what everybody else is doing, not understanding that.

[00:05:37] If we don't understand why we're in a financial hardship, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to get ourselves out.

[00:05:43] Because, one, we haven't taken the time to say, you know what?

[00:05:46] What is my problem?

[00:05:47] What trauma did I go grow up with?

[00:05:49] What is my money mindset?

[00:05:51] You know, there's so many different layers to getting yourself to financial freedom.

[00:05:55] But we don't understand that because, again, we don't want to talk to nobody.

[00:05:59] We just want to hear what people are saying on social media or read a book and think that's what's going to fix us.

[00:06:05] And nine times out of ten, it doesn't.

[00:06:07] Or we want to get a big old lump sum of money because that money is what's going to, more money is going to fix it.

[00:06:16] But like you said, your money mindset and that financial trauma, if those things are not taken care of, if you're not aware of those things, then, you know, the more money you have, it's not going to fix it.

[00:06:31] No, it's not.

[00:06:32] If you would, we've said the term financial trauma.

[00:06:36] If you would explain to us what that means.

[00:06:40] Financial trauma is something that has happened in your life, an experience that you've had with finances that has impacted you greatly and how you see money, your attitude with money, your beliefs with money.

[00:06:52] So it's not just about growing up in poverty.

[00:06:55] You can experience financial trauma as an adult.

[00:06:58] So let's say you had a good paying job where you were thriving and, you know, you were living, you know, like this job is going to last forever.

[00:07:06] Or something happened in the economy that made you lose your job and you weren't prepared for it.

[00:07:11] Or you may have been a little bit prepared for it, but not truly prepared for it.

[00:07:16] That can cause you to have trauma because it's going to cause a change in how you see money.

[00:07:21] A lot of us get upset with money when something goes wrong.

[00:07:25] And it's not the money that's the problem.

[00:07:28] It's us that's the problem.

[00:07:29] A lot of times we don't want to take those fingers and point it to us and say, I did this wrong.

[00:07:34] Or when we do see do something wrong with our money, we talk bad about ourselves so bad that we're not trying to figure out what we can do to get us out.

[00:07:43] We're just like, oh, well, this is just what's happening.

[00:07:45] I didn't do it right.

[00:07:46] I'm never going to do it right.

[00:07:47] And we just sit in.

[00:07:48] Mm hmm.

[00:07:49] Mm hmm.

[00:07:49] That's interesting because it's funny.

[00:07:53] Before we made our journey today, we were going through some stuff that were in bins and found a lot of books.

[00:08:07] You know, budgeting, all these different books that we had.

[00:08:12] And it's like, well, this is stuff that I needed.

[00:08:15] But, you know, I think that people.

[00:08:19] You know, you have great intentions.

[00:08:21] Some people have great intentions.

[00:08:22] They'll go buy a book.

[00:08:23] You know, they hear about this author.

[00:08:25] Oh, this is a great book.

[00:08:26] You need to read it.

[00:08:27] And I've learned and I remember that C word in school.

[00:08:32] Comprehension.

[00:08:33] And that's the problem I think that a lot of us have is this.

[00:08:37] Yeah, I can read it all day long, but can I comprehend what the text is saying?

[00:08:43] So it's good to have people like you that can just break things down to us in simple terms and say, hey.

[00:08:49] You go A, B, and C.

[00:08:52] And that's how you get deep.

[00:08:54] You know?

[00:08:55] Right.

[00:08:55] Right.

[00:08:56] One thing we have to learn when we're going out and reading these books.

[00:08:59] These books, people are telling us stuff based on their experience.

[00:09:03] And what we fail to realize with finances and people tried to push this through to us.

[00:09:10] Finances are customized because my money is not the same as your money.

[00:09:16] So why are we trying to do everything the same way?

[00:09:18] Well, what may work for you may not work for me.

[00:09:21] So if you're reading somebody's books, you're automatically going to try to take on their way of doing your money.

[00:09:26] Not understanding that it may not fit your situation.

[00:09:29] Like I think about Dave Ramsey.

[00:09:31] Dave Ramsey tells you to do this, this, and that.

[00:09:34] Yep.

[00:09:35] But what if that's not part of your financial plans or your financial goals?

[00:09:39] What if you have something different, but you're trying to do a Dave Ramsey way or even trying to get yourself out of debt?

[00:09:44] Somebody else may be able to get their debt out of their selves out of debt faster than what you can because they may make more money.

[00:09:51] They may not be much debt as you are, but we tend to think we got to be at the same level in the same race as everybody else.

[00:09:57] But one thing I've learned about finances is that it's not a one size fit all.

[00:10:02] It's customized based on your financial plans and goals.

[00:10:06] Right.

[00:10:06] Right.

[00:10:07] Right.

[00:10:07] It's interesting because one of the books that we got rid of was a Dave Ramsey book.

[00:10:11] Right.

[00:10:12] And we have done the program twice.

[00:10:15] Was it financial piece?

[00:10:17] Over time, yeah.

[00:10:17] Whatever the program is, we've done that.

[00:10:20] Yeah.

[00:10:20] And it just doesn't resonate or stick.

[00:10:24] Yeah.

[00:10:24] And we still, and that's the thing, within our community, we're a generation behind with so much.

[00:10:33] And so I feel like our parents were the first generation that had excess.

[00:10:39] They didn't know what to do with it other than enjoy it.

[00:10:43] Mm-hmm.

[00:10:44] So as they had us, you know, we enjoy, we reap the benefits of that financial excess.

[00:10:51] But then we are a step above them, but we don't know what to do to make that money work for us.

[00:10:59] Right.

[00:11:00] And we've experienced that large sum of money that doesn't fix it.

[00:11:05] Right.

[00:11:06] And having to go back and relearn and rethink about how we think about money.

[00:11:11] Yep.

[00:11:11] Right.

[00:11:12] And I would say the biggest piece of it that we keep missing when we're trying to regroup and refresh our finances is not having the financial skills that are necessary to start having a better relationship with our money and to manage our money better.

[00:11:28] Financial literacy is all about financial skills, such as budgeting, saving, managing your credit, managing your debt, and investing.

[00:11:36] And when I kept talking about it and listing out what it's about, I said, man, it's really a learning stepping stone.

[00:11:41] Mm-hmm.

[00:11:42] Because when you start learning how to budget, then that's going to get you to start saving.

[00:11:46] And once you start learning how to budget and save, then you're going to start managing your credit.

[00:11:50] Right.

[00:11:50] And if you start budgeting, saving, and managing your credit, then you're going to start managing your debt.

[00:11:54] Then when you learn how to budget, save, manage your credit, manage your debt, that's going to free up money so you can start investing.

[00:12:00] So every level is a skill set that you need to learn to get to the next level.

[00:12:04] It's just like Pac-Man.

[00:12:06] Right.

[00:12:06] You got to get all the dots off the board and not get killed so you can move to the next level.

[00:12:11] That's how financial literacy is.

[00:12:13] But people talk about financial things, to me, and I don't mean to disrespect anybody.

[00:12:18] It comes off as a gimmick.

[00:12:21] Mm-hmm.

[00:12:21] Because they say, oh, well, financial literacy, you know, we're going to teach you financial literacy so you can have your business.

[00:12:26] That's not what financial literacy is about.

[00:12:29] Right.

[00:12:29] And it's about financial skills, having a positive relationship, and understanding finances is a lifelong journey.

[00:12:35] It's constantly changing.

[00:12:37] So you got to constantly be learning about it to stay updated with it.

[00:12:41] Right.

[00:12:42] The way that you just explained it in terms of being steps, I've never thought of it that way, never heard that.

[00:12:50] So it makes sense, though, because you try to do everything at once, and you can't.

[00:12:57] And you're made to feel like you're nothing when somebody mentions a way of doing things.

[00:13:05] And it's like, well, you don't own a business.

[00:13:09] What's wrong with you?

[00:13:10] Right.

[00:13:11] Right.

[00:13:12] Or you don't have five months worth of savings.

[00:13:15] What's wrong with you?

[00:13:17] And when you hear things like that, people tend to feel down.

[00:13:20] Like, well, I don't.

[00:13:24] Mm-hmm.

[00:13:25] It really resonated with me, though, the fact that once you master the budget, then you can move on to your savings.

[00:13:35] Because now you know what you have to save.

[00:13:38] You don't know what you save.

[00:13:39] And once you save, like, it has never quicked in that way.

[00:13:43] So that's something that I appreciate you pointing out, because our thing has always been to try and attack everything at one time.

[00:13:52] Mm-hmm.

[00:13:53] And there's no way to do that.

[00:13:55] There's no way to do that.

[00:13:57] Right.

[00:13:57] No, we can't speed up the process.

[00:14:00] We have to really go through it.

[00:14:02] That means going through the bad to weave out the good.

[00:14:05] I remember when COVID started.

[00:14:07] Mm-hmm.

[00:14:07] We was working overtime, so I'm just sitting at home working a lot.

[00:14:10] Yeah.

[00:14:11] So I said, you know what?

[00:14:12] I'm going to take this overtime and start paying off bills.

[00:14:15] And I got excited, because I was paying off bills, getting my credit together.

[00:14:20] Mm-hmm.

[00:14:20] And then as soon as I got it together, I put myself back in debt.

[00:14:24] And I started thinking maybe like a year ago once I switched over, because I was in the mortgage industry for 17 years,

[00:14:29] and then transitioned over to life insurance and retirement planning.

[00:14:33] So I've been in finances for 19 years.

[00:14:36] Okay.

[00:14:36] But when I got into this side of finance and said, how did I get myself back in debt and started understanding the financial literacy?

[00:14:44] I said, because you didn't put in budgeting.

[00:14:46] You didn't know how to save.

[00:14:48] You didn't know how to manage your credit.

[00:14:50] You didn't know how to manage your debt.

[00:14:51] So I understood why I got back into financial hardships, because I didn't understand the financial skills.

[00:14:59] Like, I had no idea what financial literacy was until like maybe two years ago.

[00:15:04] And what brought it on was that, you know, doing life insurance.

[00:15:07] I'm like, nobody's getting it.

[00:15:09] Why ain't nobody jumping on and wanting to get this?

[00:15:11] Mm-hmm.

[00:15:12] And then I started thinking about it.

[00:15:13] I said, well, I'm seeing a lot of these wealth building and financial literacy.

[00:15:16] I said, but everybody's still in the same place.

[00:15:18] You know, nobody's money is growing.

[00:15:20] We're still the number one consumer.

[00:15:22] So why isn't anything changing?

[00:15:25] So I started really looking at financial literacy, understanding the definition and understanding what it's about.

[00:15:29] I said, oh, my goodness.

[00:15:31] I said, this ain't only going to help the community.

[00:15:33] It's going to help me.

[00:15:35] Right.

[00:15:36] I didn't even know what my problem was.

[00:15:38] So when I understood that, if I didn't know what my problem was, the community, I don't know what their problem is.

[00:15:42] I said, man, I can't keep this to myself.

[00:15:45] I got to get it out.

[00:15:46] Right.

[00:15:47] I have to be the only one that's going to preach the word.

[00:15:50] I don't care who don't like me.

[00:15:51] I don't care who don't want to hear the conversation.

[00:15:53] I'm going to keep on having it.

[00:15:55] Right.

[00:15:55] Right.

[00:15:56] And, you know, we need people like you who are not afraid to share the realness.

[00:16:03] You know, hey, I'm just going through this.

[00:16:06] Right.

[00:16:07] Because everybody seems special online.

[00:16:10] Everybody's a professional.

[00:16:11] You know, they put themselves to be a professional.

[00:16:15] And it's like, you know, well, dang, I don't have X, Y, Z, so now I feel bad.

[00:16:20] But as you say, well, hey, man, you know, I'm with you.

[00:16:23] I'm learning just like you.

[00:16:24] So let's do this thing together.

[00:16:25] And it just makes people feel way more comfortable to talk about it.

[00:16:29] Yes.

[00:16:29] Yes.

[00:16:30] And that's my goal.

[00:16:31] I always make people feel comfortable.

[00:16:33] Because finances are a hard conversation.

[00:16:35] Right.

[00:16:36] Absolutely.

[00:16:37] And like you said, guilt, the shame.

[00:16:39] You never really know anyone's position financially.

[00:16:45] So you don't know what you feel comfortable sharing with other people.

[00:16:51] But the fact that, like you said, you just shared with us that even being in this industry, you've had to relearn and rethink how you have approached things so that you could be in a better position.

[00:17:04] And that's motivation for us.

[00:17:07] Because we feel like, you know, we're late to the game with learning different things.

[00:17:13] And so our children are adults.

[00:17:17] And so we are late giving them information that they needed so that they can start building and be in a better position than we were in at their age.

[00:17:29] And so it's like for us, we're soaking things up for ourselves, but we're also trying to impart that wisdom on them so that they can.

[00:17:39] And I am thankful that I think that our children, by some stroke of something, they manage their money better than we do.

[00:17:51] And we praise them for that even now and explain to them the benefits of that because, you know, and especially our son is 26.

[00:18:04] At 26, we had them.

[00:18:07] Trying to figure it out.

[00:18:09] Right.

[00:18:09] So, you know, letting them know that they're doing a good job, taking what we've given them and also learning themselves.

[00:18:17] And that's another thing.

[00:18:19] We're big advocates of, you know, you seek out information and you learn information.

[00:18:25] So they're good about learning things and they'll share with us.

[00:18:29] And we can then use wisdom to let them know, okay, that sounds like a scam.

[00:18:33] Or, yeah, you're on to something.

[00:18:35] Let's all look into that.

[00:18:37] So sharing that information, we see where it benefits within our household.

[00:18:43] But it's still a point of contention and shame when it comes to the fact that, you know, here it is.

[00:18:53] We're at this age and we're like trying to figure out, okay, we need to do some things to prepare for the next stage in life that we should have done earlier, but we did.

[00:19:04] Right.

[00:19:05] And again, that goes to those missed conversations and missed opportunities to teach us about the future.

[00:19:10] Our parents, they tried to by saying, get this job, save your money.

[00:19:15] But they didn't go into details of how.

[00:19:20] Right.

[00:19:20] Just telling us to do something is one, but actually sitting down and doing it with us to teach us, that's what was missed.

[00:19:28] So, like, I do a lot of events for finances.

[00:19:30] I'm actually doing one on financial trauma, which is an introduction to me teaching financial literacy.

[00:19:36] We've got to find the why before we start on the financial skills.

[00:19:39] Yes.

[00:19:40] Right.

[00:19:40] And one thing that I'm doing that I feel like is needed.

[00:19:43] We do a lot of events, but we're not taking away with how to do it.

[00:19:47] You know, they tell us in a class, but to actually have us do it.

[00:19:51] Right.

[00:19:52] We know what we're doing once we leave that class, that's important.

[00:19:54] So, I'm creating worksheets to give to people at each class.

[00:19:59] So, that way, it's not just me talking and saying, this is how you do it.

[00:20:03] Because if you're not left with nothing, are you really learning?

[00:20:07] Right.

[00:20:07] Right.

[00:20:08] Right.

[00:20:08] You know, we've got to start not just telling people information, but teaching it to them to where they can go home and say, okay, well, she taught me this.

[00:20:17] So, I can go home and do this.

[00:20:18] And then give them access to me even after.

[00:20:22] Mm-hmm.

[00:20:23] Where if they want to come back and do a one-on-one session, okay, I did this and this don't seem to be working.

[00:20:28] Can you help me with this?

[00:20:30] That goes back to my value of being a resource.

[00:20:33] Right.

[00:20:33] You know, I'm available for you to come back to me after that event.

[00:20:37] So, that way, if you got more questions, we can sit down and talk about it.

[00:20:41] Mm-hmm.

[00:20:42] That's fantastic.

[00:20:42] And we took note of that event because we're trying to figure out how we can stream, how we can do something.

[00:20:51] Even if we got a call and you just talk, let me write.

[00:20:55] Yes, I got to get StreamYard.

[00:20:57] Yes.

[00:20:58] StreamYard is free, isn't it?

[00:21:01] It is.

[00:21:02] I'm not sure what the limitations are, but there is a free version.

[00:21:06] Okay.

[00:21:07] Hopefully, you figure that out.

[00:21:09] Like I said, you call me and just we sit on the phone.

[00:21:13] Right, right.

[00:21:13] I think no, something because it's just been eye-opening in the time that we've spoken with you and the information that you've shared so far.

[00:21:23] Mm-hmm.

[00:21:25] And going back to what you said about the trauma and healing those things first, that's where I think a lot of, with both of us, really, I think both of us need to move past those hurdles so that we can't.

[00:21:40] Because we know the other tools that are there, what we need to do.

[00:21:44] But it's difficult to do those things when that guilt and shame still kind of sits there.

[00:21:50] Mm-hmm.

[00:21:51] Yeah, that's what holds us back.

[00:21:53] And just like when we need to go to counseling for mental health or childhood trauma, we got to heal so we can move forward.

[00:22:00] You can't move forward if you still like, dang, I done messed up this.

[00:22:04] I'm 40-some years old and I couldn't do this and I couldn't do that.

[00:22:08] I remember when I went through that stage of getting my credit together, going and buying a car.

[00:22:12] Mm-hmm.

[00:22:13] And I had my son with me and I remember sitting in the room and telling him, look, yeah, I'm working hard so I can get my credit back together.

[00:22:19] And just seeing how smooth that process was.

[00:22:22] And I told my son, I said, this is what happens when you have good credit.

[00:22:26] Mm-hmm.

[00:22:27] Start taking care of it.

[00:22:28] And even now, as I've been learning, I'm really on them.

[00:22:32] Because one thing I've also learned is that that transition from childhood to adulthood, man, that's fair.

[00:22:39] Right.

[00:22:40] Yeah.

[00:22:40] Because you go from one day for 18 years, somebody else is doing everything for you, making all your decisions.

[00:22:47] They're basically controlling your life.

[00:22:49] And then at 18, we as parents have to loosen the reins and just say, okay, you can go ahead and make all these decisions.

[00:22:55] These kids are like, what?

[00:22:56] My kids are calling me.

[00:22:57] Can you make my doctor's appointment?

[00:22:58] I'm like, no, I can't make it.

[00:22:59] No, I can't.

[00:23:00] Thank you.

[00:23:01] You're grown.

[00:23:02] Thank you.

[00:23:03] I said, you can ask me to help.

[00:23:05] Right.

[00:23:06] Pick up the phone and call the doctor no more.

[00:23:07] You got to do it.

[00:23:09] Right.

[00:23:09] Well, you didn't send me the link for financial aid.

[00:23:12] No, that's not my responsibility no more.

[00:23:15] That was short.

[00:23:16] But, you know, just seeing how they're so used to parents doing.

[00:23:20] Right.

[00:23:20] It's hard for them to break that mindset of, oh, I got to do it now.

[00:23:25] And we get mad at our kids about it.

[00:23:27] But we have to understand, we've been making every decision for them.

[00:23:32] We just can't expect for them to just turn it off.

[00:23:34] Okay, I got it.

[00:23:35] Let me call and do this.

[00:23:36] Let me call and do that.

[00:23:37] Yeah, but let me do it.

[00:23:38] We, we.

[00:23:39] I had to explain to mine, ma'am, you are an adult.

[00:23:43] They will not speak to me.

[00:23:46] It's on you now.

[00:23:47] Right.

[00:23:48] And so every time she, mom, can you, no, remember what I said?

[00:23:51] You are an adult now.

[00:23:53] And one thing, like when, when they were younger, we'd go to restaurants and we'd always make them order their food.

[00:24:01] So things like that, it was preparation for them to be to a place where you can speak up for yourself.

[00:24:07] Comfortable talking to a stranger or talking to somebody that you don't know because that's the reality of life.

[00:24:14] Right.

[00:24:14] We're all talking to people that we don't know every day.

[00:24:17] You know, when you go to the store, talk to somebody you don't know.

[00:24:20] It's just like going to the store.

[00:24:21] I had to break that down to my daughter one time.

[00:24:24] She was like scared.

[00:24:25] Mm-hmm.

[00:24:25] Just call them.

[00:24:27] What did she do?

[00:24:27] Like what?

[00:24:28] I don't even like calling people.

[00:24:29] They put another text.

[00:24:30] I don't like calling people.

[00:24:32] She said, don't call them.

[00:24:32] Right.

[00:24:33] Right.

[00:24:34] We have, our kids are in a box.

[00:24:36] Look, I don't like calling people.

[00:24:38] So I'm glad that I can tell her, you know, they won't talk to me.

[00:24:45] I tell my son all the time, I text her and I'm like, no, call them.

[00:24:50] Mm-hmm.

[00:24:51] Right.

[00:24:52] You know, because these kids, they're living in a box.

[00:24:54] You know, they go to school and like I go to school and they're talking.

[00:24:57] I'm like, y'all going to come out of this school one day.

[00:25:00] And there's a whole world that you got to deal with.

[00:25:02] You got to know how to deal with people who come from different environments, different beliefs,

[00:25:06] different walks of life.

[00:25:07] You got to know how to interact with them.

[00:25:09] Right.

[00:25:10] Right.

[00:25:10] It's not all going to be the same.

[00:25:12] Yeah, you got it in school, but it's going to be 10 times worse when you get out there

[00:25:16] on your own and trying to finagle through life.

[00:25:18] Right.

[00:25:19] Exactly.

[00:25:19] Right.

[00:25:20] And things like that, financial literacy and the clearing up the trauma, those things,

[00:25:28] like I said, anything that we learn, we pass on to our kids because I realized that

[00:25:34] some of those, some of that mindset that I wasn't aware of, I unconsciously passed on

[00:25:42] to them.

[00:25:42] And so once I start fixing it with me, then I need to make sure I'm fixing it with them

[00:25:48] while they still have time to rebuild and regroup and rethink things.

[00:25:54] Because a lot of our money mindset comes from our parents.

[00:25:57] Right.

[00:25:57] Right.

[00:25:58] How they talked about money, how their mistrust with people in finance.

[00:26:03] Mm-hmm.

[00:26:03] We walk around here, excuse me, mistrusting people because of what our parents and grandparents

[00:26:09] have said.

[00:26:09] Right.

[00:26:10] I remember, I never get my granddaddy told me, he said, son, if you want to find out whatever

[00:26:18] information, how to save, how to do this, go to the bank and talk to the people there.

[00:26:25] And now that was good advice probably in the 90s.

[00:26:30] But, you know, when I walk into the bank now, I'm looking at some of these people like, I

[00:26:36] don't know.

[00:26:37] I don't know, you know.

[00:26:39] And then when you do go to them, it's like, oh, we have number one customer service.

[00:26:43] And we will talk and they look at you like you're crazy when you ask them a simple question

[00:26:46] like, oh, you're not making me comfortable to talk about this.

[00:26:50] Right.

[00:26:50] Right.

[00:26:51] And that's what people, and that stops people because I tell people to go to the bank and

[00:26:54] develop those relationships because we've been taught that we can't have a personal banker

[00:26:59] if we don't have X amount of dollars.

[00:27:02] We can't have a financial advisor if we have X amount of dollars.

[00:27:05] So we think it's not for us.

[00:27:07] Right.

[00:27:08] Some banks are like that where they won't give you that warm and fuzzy feeling going to talk

[00:27:15] to them.

[00:27:16] So what I do is like, my bank is right here by my house.

[00:27:18] So I keep on going in and going in.

[00:27:20] I go in sometimes and they be like, hey, Crystal, I'm like, they remember me.

[00:27:23] Mm-hmm.

[00:27:24] Like, that stands out to me because I'm going in and building that relationship with

[00:27:28] them.

[00:27:29] But we get turned off so quick.

[00:27:31] Right.

[00:27:32] We have one bad experience.

[00:27:33] And that's what happens with us when it comes to finance.

[00:27:35] We get one bad experience.

[00:27:38] Oh, yeah.

[00:27:38] We're turned off.

[00:27:39] Or somebody say, well, this happened to me and they're not explaining why they went through

[00:27:43] this whole problem, which nine times out of 10, the problem started with them.

[00:27:47] Right.

[00:27:48] Not doing something that they were told.

[00:27:50] Right.

[00:27:50] And that's why they had that bad experience.

[00:27:52] They didn't get the answer that they were looking for.

[00:27:55] Right.

[00:27:56] And that's probably, like I said, the guilt, the shame, the embarrassment, that's probably

[00:28:02] secondhand shame.

[00:28:05] Those people weren't looking at you.

[00:28:08] Nah, that was just.

[00:28:11] But that's, we get intimidated.

[00:28:12] Like when I meet with clients, I'm not in no three piece suit because that's going to

[00:28:17] intimidate people.

[00:28:19] Right.

[00:28:19] Right.

[00:28:19] But I come in, you know, I'm not saying I'm fully dressed down, but I'm dressed to where

[00:28:25] they feel uncomfortable or thinking, oh, she's at this level.

[00:28:28] So she's not going to understand.

[00:28:29] I want them to understand that I empathize with them.

[00:28:33] I understand where they're coming from.

[00:28:34] I meet people where they're at because if we don't give people a safe space to talk about

[00:28:39] their finances, nothing's going to change for us.

[00:28:43] So we can't keep on doing the same thing and thinking we're going to get a different

[00:28:46] result.

[00:28:47] You know, when I tell people with life insurance, they got some people that want them to get

[00:28:50] the biggest policy.

[00:28:52] And I tell them, hey, look, start smart.

[00:28:54] Then we can just build from there.

[00:28:55] What is your budget?

[00:28:56] How much of a policy can you afford?

[00:28:59] Right.

[00:28:59] You know, it's not about how big my paycheck is going to be.

[00:29:01] It's about making sure that family has a way to save, grow up, and protect their family

[00:29:07] and their money.

[00:29:08] Right.

[00:29:09] Now, you hit on, when we introduced you, did we say anything about retirement planning?

[00:29:19] You may have mentioned it.

[00:29:20] Yes, you mentioned it.

[00:29:21] But with retirement planning, so like I said, we are 48, 49.

[00:29:27] We're getting to the point where we're thinking about next steps.

[00:29:32] But we also have a lot that we need to do.

[00:29:35] We need to go through those steps to get our everyday finances together.

[00:29:42] How do we or do we like put retirement planning to the side for now and work on the budget,

[00:29:51] the savings and those things?

[00:29:53] Or do we work on both at the same time?

[00:29:57] I would say work on both at the same time.

[00:29:59] And here's the reason why.

[00:30:00] Yeah.

[00:30:01] You want to know how to budget, save, manage your credit, manage your debt, and invest.

[00:30:06] Because in retirement, the goal of retirement is for your money to outlive you.

[00:30:09] Mm-hmm.

[00:30:10] Right.

[00:30:10] So you want to start knowing your budget, especially for retirement, because you may

[00:30:13] only get a certain amount of money that you're going to live off of.

[00:30:17] Right.

[00:30:17] So you got to know how to budget.

[00:30:18] You got to know how to save.

[00:30:20] You got to definitely manage your credit.

[00:30:22] Because as our kids get older and grown and start to leave the house, we should start minimizing

[00:30:26] our debt.

[00:30:27] Right.

[00:30:28] You know, because we're preparing for retirement.

[00:30:30] Retirement is not something that you prepare for when you say, okay, in two weeks, I'm going

[00:30:35] to retire.

[00:30:36] Right.

[00:30:36] Right.

[00:30:36] You already have everything set up to where you know that when you enter into that retirement

[00:30:42] phase, you're already ready for it.

[00:30:45] Mm-hmm.

[00:30:45] And another thing is that we got to add the right things to our retirement portfolio.

[00:30:49] You can't live just on 401k because a lot of us don't even know if we set our 401k up

[00:30:56] correctly.

[00:30:56] Mm-hmm.

[00:30:57] Or if the money that we have in our 401k is going to outlive us because we have a secret

[00:31:01] partner in our 401k called IRS.

[00:31:04] Yeah.

[00:31:05] Exactly.

[00:31:05] So that money is taxable and it's still part of the market.

[00:31:09] So, excuse me, you got to have money in your retirement that's taxable and non-taxable.

[00:31:14] So if the market is going down where you're losing money in your retirement, you need another

[00:31:19] source of non-taxable income that you can pull from to where you can stop pulling from

[00:31:24] that taxable money.

[00:31:26] So you never want to say, let me wait on retirement while I get this together.

[00:31:29] No, everything should be interchangeable because as you're budgeting, saving, and doing all

[00:31:35] that other stuff, you should be thinking along with how you're going to prepare for retirement.

[00:31:39] Okay.

[00:31:40] Right.

[00:31:40] Okay.

[00:31:41] And so for those of us late bloomers, what are the action steps that we need to focus

[00:31:49] on so that, you know, we're starting late.

[00:31:53] We still want to retire when, you know, while we can still enjoy life some.

[00:31:59] Right.

[00:32:00] What are some things that we need to check into immediately to make sure that we're headed

[00:32:06] in the right direction?

[00:32:08] First, I would say, look at how much do you want to live off of in retirement?

[00:32:12] What do you want your retirement lifestyle to be?

[00:32:15] Do you want to just live comfortable?

[00:32:16] Do you want to be comfortable and be able to travel, go out to eat, you know, enjoy things,

[00:32:22] you know, will your house be paid off?

[00:32:24] Will cars be paid off by the time you're retired?

[00:32:26] So I would look at how much do you need to live off of?

[00:32:29] And then I would look at where my debt's at.

[00:32:31] How close am I to getting the house paid off, to paying off my car?

[00:32:35] You know, what about these credit cards?

[00:32:37] How many credit cards do I have?

[00:32:39] If I got five credit cards, how many can I close out or pay off and never use again?

[00:32:45] So that way I can just have some in case of an emergency.

[00:32:48] And then you also want to look at what all is in my retirement portfolio.

[00:32:53] 401k is not enough.

[00:32:55] So you got to start looking at other ways to grow your money to prepare for retirement.

[00:33:01] That's where you have to ask yourself, what risk level do I want to be at?

[00:33:04] Do I want to be in a high risk level where I want to invest in stocks, mutual funds, all that other stuff?

[00:33:10] Do I want to be at a mid level or do I want to be at a low level?

[00:33:14] So, you know, you got to think about what else can I add to this retirement portfolio?

[00:33:19] So that way I know that my money is going to outlive me.

[00:33:22] Because if you look at your 401k right now and it says $200,000.

[00:33:26] Right.

[00:33:27] You say you want to live off of $5,000 a year, which I believe is like $60,000 a year.

[00:33:33] You can already look at that $200,000 and say, this ain't going to be enough.

[00:33:37] Right.

[00:33:37] Because you're not even going to get the full $200,000 to begin with.

[00:33:41] Right.

[00:33:42] So you got to start looking at ways of how can I start getting rid of debt so I can take that excessive cash that I'm saving since I no longer have those debts.

[00:33:50] And invest it.

[00:33:51] You can put it into an annuity.

[00:33:52] An annuity is a great way to grow your money without worrying about the risk of losing it.

[00:33:57] Because what you're doing, you're just letting it sit and it's going to earn compound interest.

[00:34:01] And if you're not ready, you let it sit for five to seven years.

[00:34:04] If you're not ready in five to seven years, you let it renew.

[00:34:06] And you just keep on renewing it and renewing it and renewing it until you're ready to draw that income off of it.

[00:34:12] Another good source of non-taxable money that you can use is life insurance.

[00:34:18] People sleep on permanent life insurance because they say it don't grow fast enough like the stock market does.

[00:34:23] But guess what? When you're investing in that stock market, if you're just able to buy a couple of stocks, it's going to be a while before that money grows because you got to continue to feed it to get it to grow.

[00:34:34] Well, that's the same with a life insurance policy.

[00:34:36] You got to feed money into it in order for it to grow.

[00:34:38] There is no financial tool that is wrong out here for you to use.

[00:34:42] And if anybody's telling you that whatever financial tool you want to use is wrong, give them the thought I'd be like, boy.

[00:34:49] Because your money's going to grow.

[00:34:51] You know, it's based on risk level.

[00:34:54] And the purpose of growing your money is not how quickly it grows, it's how long it's going to sit and grow.

[00:35:00] Because the longer your money is sitting and growing, the more you're going to have.

[00:35:04] Right.

[00:35:05] Right.

[00:35:05] See, and that's one of those things that I was, some information that I got from some genius who was a guru said,

[00:35:17] trash, whole life, only do turn.

[00:35:21] They said, forget about whole life, only do turn.

[00:35:24] Now, there's some people who will still follow that ideology today.

[00:35:29] So for those who think that way, what are some of the benefits of whole life versus turn?

[00:35:36] Right.

[00:35:37] Well, before I even give that, and if I miss it, tell me again.

[00:35:41] They tell you to do turn versus whole life because they say after so many years, you don't need whole life.

[00:35:47] You can do self, you can be self-insured.

[00:35:50] Well, let me tell you what self-insured doesn't cover.

[00:35:53] Okay.

[00:35:53] Let's say you invested your money and you grew your money to where you have great wealth.

[00:35:58] You get to retirement age, stock market goes bad, and you lose a lot of your money.

[00:36:04] That can cause a financial hardship, which can lead to financial trauma.

[00:36:08] Yes.

[00:36:09] Because you may not be able to make that money back quick enough to where you can still live comfortably.

[00:36:13] That can change your whole lifestyle.

[00:36:15] Mm-hmm.

[00:36:16] Okay.

[00:36:17] Let's use another example.

[00:36:18] You grew your wealth, and you get sick with a long-term medical issue.

[00:36:24] Right.

[00:36:25] So instead of you having wealth to live comfortably, you use the majority of that money to cover high-cost medical insurance or medical costs.

[00:36:32] Right.

[00:36:33] So in essence, when they're saying buy term and don't get whole life, they're not preparing you or telling you about the cons to it, which is what happens.

[00:36:43] Life is going to life.

[00:36:44] Mm-hmm.

[00:36:45] We have to take those risks that may come from life-lifing and pass it on to somebody else.

[00:36:50] You don't want to take the risk.

[00:36:51] That's why we have homeowner's insurance.

[00:36:53] That's why we have car insurance, because we're taking the risk off of ourselves and putting it on somebody else.

[00:37:00] Yes.

[00:37:01] So the benefit about term, yes, term is good for if you're just starting out and you may not be able to afford a big price.

[00:37:09] Mm-hmm.

[00:37:10] Right.

[00:37:11] Or, you know, if you say, you know what, I want to have this while my kids are there, but I want to have an option to still cover me after my kids are grown, because you don't want to throw that financial burden on your kids if something happens to you and you pass away.

[00:37:26] Right.

[00:37:27] And they're creating a GoFundMe, so they can't even mourn you correctly because they're trying to figure out how they're going to pay to bury you.

[00:37:33] Right, right.

[00:37:34] Exactly.

[00:37:34] And then the thing about term two is that when you just get a term policy and you outlive that term, what are you getting in return?

[00:37:42] Nothing.

[00:37:44] Nothing.

[00:37:45] Nothing.

[00:37:45] You know, they do offer return a premium term, but not every carrier offers it.

[00:37:49] Most carriers do offer where you can convert a term into a permanent policy, but you got to make sure that they offer that.

[00:37:57] Whereas with Whole Life, there's so many different ways to do permanent life insurance like Whole Life.

[00:38:01] The thing I love about it is that they have a thing called reduced paid up option, and that's where the cash value you built up in the policy, you can use it to buy a reduced death benefit.

[00:38:15] So when you buy the reduced death benefit, you're basically buying up the policy for the rest of your life and don't have to pay for it no more.

[00:38:22] Right.

[00:38:22] So there's options of how you can do whole life to where you're not paying on it for the rest of your life.

[00:38:27] But if nobody tells you that, you're going to be misinformed.

[00:38:31] And with Whole Life again, and you can do this with Indexed Universal Life too, you can pay on it for 10 years, 15, 20, or 30 years or up to age 65.

[00:38:40] Once you get to that time period, then you own the policy free and clear, but it's still going to be growing money and you're still covered.

[00:38:48] So people can say, oh, but don't do this or don't do that.

[00:38:51] They're misinformed because they've only been taught one way.

[00:38:54] Like I said to myself, eventually I want to be a financial advisor, but I'm glad I came in on this side of finance and learned about life insurance and how the many different ways it works versus coming in, learning about investments.

[00:39:07] Because I too could have been one of those people that was going out and misinforming people based on what I know.

[00:39:13] Now I get to see the full picture of everything that's out there and can say, hey, no financial tool is wrong.

[00:39:19] It's just based on what you want to do with your money.

[00:39:21] Right.

[00:39:22] So, you know, you have to think about when you're getting protection, what is my end result?

[00:39:28] You know, do I want to make sure that no matter what my family is taken care of?

[00:39:32] Do I want to have something in place where even if I can't afford it no more, I still have an option to still keep it and I have to work on it.

[00:39:40] For instance, I had a client, we were doing a policy on her and she came back and was like, you know what?

[00:39:45] I think I want a term and she's over 60.

[00:39:48] And when she said that, I was like, man, I got to educate her.

[00:39:51] I said, because once you get to the age of 60, a term is not good for you.

[00:39:56] Reason why, when you get a term and let's say you outlive it and you want to renew it, your term is going to go up astronomically based upon the age you are at the time of renewal.

[00:40:06] So if you're over 60, just imagine how much that term policy is going to be in 10 years because the cheapest term for a 60 plus year old is a 10 year term.

[00:40:15] Mm hmm.

[00:40:16] I had to educate her and tell her what this is, you know, one term is you got to think about the future.

[00:40:22] Right.

[00:40:23] Because you can't say you want something cheap.

[00:40:25] Cheap is only good for right now.

[00:40:26] You're thinking about right now.

[00:40:27] What happens in the future?

[00:40:29] If you go with this term, if I said, OK, well, you can do a term and then you don't hear nothing from me.

[00:40:34] And the rest of the term period, you get to the end and it goes up to three thousand dollars.

[00:40:39] You're going to be mad at me, but you're no longer going to be able to afford it.

[00:40:42] And then you're not going to have anything.

[00:40:44] And what if you're sick by the end of that term, too?

[00:40:47] Right.

[00:40:48] You know, so I had to explain that to her.

[00:40:50] And then I had to explain.

[00:40:51] I said, well, we're doing a reduced death benefit option.

[00:40:54] So you can take that cash value if your money becomes less than in the future.

[00:40:59] You can take that cash value, use it to buy a lower death benefit and you'll be covered.

[00:41:05] I said, are you wanting to be buried or are you wanting to be cremated?

[00:41:08] She wanted to be cremated.

[00:41:09] So I said, well, we already know you won't need a whole bunch of money.

[00:41:13] Right.

[00:41:14] Because you're not getting all the extra.

[00:41:15] You're getting cremated.

[00:41:16] So this will fit you perfectly.

[00:41:18] For one, that if you become, you know, to where it becomes too much, you have an option of what to do, which is use that cash value, get you a lower death benefit.

[00:41:29] And then you'll still be covered.

[00:41:30] That way you're not leaving a financial burden on your family.

[00:41:33] You may not be leaving them an astronomical, a lot of money.

[00:41:36] Right.

[00:41:36] But that financial burden is what's going to be taken care of.

[00:41:41] Right.

[00:41:41] Right.

[00:41:42] Right.

[00:41:42] That's good stuff right there.

[00:41:43] That is.

[00:41:44] That is.

[00:41:45] So keeping that end goal in mind when planning and making certain that you have the right products to fit whatever that end goal is.

[00:41:54] Right.

[00:41:54] Right.

[00:41:55] Yes.

[00:41:56] We learning a lot.

[00:41:57] Yeah.

[00:41:58] Yeah.

[00:42:00] Eyes open.

[00:42:01] We got to go and look over and see what kind of policies we have.

[00:42:05] Yeah.

[00:42:06] I definitely, you know, my father, before he passed, that's what he did, his insurance.

[00:42:13] And so he, son, as soon as you can, get you some insurance.

[00:42:17] He said, I don't care if it's $30,000.

[00:42:22] You got a wife, you got kids, you got kids, they can at least breathe freely for a couple of weeks.

[00:42:28] That was going to happen to you.

[00:42:29] So that's been my mindset.

[00:42:31] So that's been my mindset.

[00:42:31] I just didn't, I never thought about, you know, I guess I always thought about in terms of if there's something happened to me and I died, what could I leave them behind?

[00:42:40] I never thought about how it could benefit me while I'm still alive.

[00:42:45] Right.

[00:42:47] Mm-hmm.

[00:43:40] And I think it was in my 40s when I started to think, oh, a little bit closer to 60.

[00:43:48] Right.

[00:43:49] It's not that far away.

[00:43:50] Right.

[00:43:51] And now it's like, like I said, and I keep saying it because I'm trying to make it real to me that I'll be 50 in June.

[00:44:03] Right.

[00:44:05] So it's like now, like where we used to fantasize about, oh, when the kids are grown and gone and, you know, because we're carting them off to stuff.

[00:44:15] And now it's like one day I'll be able to not have to go to work and enjoy my time.

[00:44:22] But there's still even a gap, a big gap between 50 and that point.

[00:44:27] Yeah.

[00:44:27] And like I said, we have some catching up to do because we just didn't have the knowledge.

[00:44:34] It was an hour to me because I work in a paper mill and there are a lot of guys that are pretty close to retiring.

[00:44:40] So the conversation comes up almost monthly, you know, because somebody is getting ready to retire this year or next year or whatever.

[00:44:49] How long you got, Matt?

[00:44:52] Got 17 years before I'm retiring.

[00:44:55] You know, and it's like, God, dog, 17 years.

[00:45:01] Right.

[00:45:01] And it goes fast.

[00:45:03] Right.

[00:45:04] And it goes fast.

[00:45:06] And that's what it's like now.

[00:45:10] Like I said, I never thought of 50 was old to me.

[00:45:16] And I did a spin around and it's right in front of me.

[00:45:21] Yeah.

[00:45:22] Yes.

[00:45:23] Like you go to sleep one day and you wake up, you're like, wait a minute.

[00:45:26] Right.

[00:45:26] I'm older.

[00:45:27] Like it's tripping me out.

[00:45:29] This year is 30 years that I graduated from high school.

[00:45:33] See.

[00:45:33] And I'm like, it's been fast.

[00:45:36] Right.

[00:45:37] And I get a little offended when I hear them say, this is your 30th year, isn't it?

[00:45:42] It's true.

[00:45:43] Like, quit saying it like that.

[00:45:48] Like that.

[00:45:49] I don't think I want to re-do it, y'all.

[00:45:52] Right.

[00:45:52] I mean, even when you think about your friends, you be like, dang, I've known them for 20, 30 years.

[00:45:56] You're like, wait a minute.

[00:45:57] When did I get to that point?

[00:45:59] When you see their kids grow up, you see they got grandkids.

[00:46:02] You're like, wait a minute.

[00:46:03] And then.

[00:46:04] And you can have that conversation and be like, yeah, we've been friends for about 25 years.

[00:46:08] Like, I don't get weird.

[00:46:10] I have my friends having been enjoying grandparenthood and like, really?

[00:46:16] You ready for this?

[00:46:17] I'm telling you.

[00:46:18] Right.

[00:46:19] And they hold on to me.

[00:46:20] I'm just not ready for that.

[00:46:22] But I also, you know, we were so young when we had our son.

[00:46:29] I appreciate the fact that my kids are having their 20s to find themselves and to do and explore and to learn and to grow.

[00:46:41] So that when they do decide it's time to meet someone and have kids, they know themselves.

[00:46:49] Right.

[00:46:49] And can feed into their spouse, their kid, what have you.

[00:46:54] And not have to, you know, find themselves.

[00:46:57] We grew up together with our son.

[00:47:00] Right.

[00:47:01] Right.

[00:47:01] That's how I feel with my son.

[00:47:03] Right.

[00:47:03] So, you know, the, some of the conversations that people have, like, we're, we're totally different.

[00:47:11] Like, you know, like we've raised our kids to be, you do what you want to.

[00:47:16] I ain't finna say and tell you that you got to get married.

[00:47:20] Got to have kids.

[00:47:21] You got to do this.

[00:47:22] You don't want to have kids?

[00:47:24] Don't have kids.

[00:47:24] Right.

[00:47:26] I'm dead and gone.

[00:47:27] I ain't concerned about my legs.

[00:47:29] Right.

[00:47:29] Right.

[00:47:30] Right.

[00:47:30] I left you out some money.

[00:47:32] I want to leave something behind.

[00:47:33] I want.

[00:47:34] Right.

[00:47:34] I ain't worrying about whether my seed lives on between my children or what.

[00:47:39] I'm just like.

[00:47:40] Right.

[00:47:40] Because if you don't want it, you're not going to do a good job.

[00:47:44] Yeah, you shouldn't do a good job at it.

[00:47:45] Nope.

[00:47:46] Nope.

[00:47:46] You got to break these curses.

[00:47:48] Right.

[00:47:49] Right.

[00:47:49] Exactly.

[00:47:50] But we, we, we, we didn't stress to them college.

[00:47:55] It's just to them having a plan.

[00:47:56] And so they, they've taken the time to, to learn and grow.

[00:48:01] Our son did go to, he did a culinary arts program.

[00:48:06] And he has a love, hate relationship with food work now, with food service.

[00:48:12] But that led him to bartending, which he does enjoy because he's like, he's a people person

[00:48:18] and he gets to see people and meet people.

[00:48:21] And our daughter, she has that same personality.

[00:48:24] She'll go to school and then she'll stop.

[00:48:27] And I just don't know what I want to do.

[00:48:29] Well, quit wasting money and figure out what you want to do first.

[00:48:34] That's right.

[00:48:35] And then it's like school will be there.

[00:48:37] Yep.

[00:48:37] But I, one, um, had six digits worth of student loan debt.

[00:48:44] You and me both.

[00:48:44] Um, thank you Biden though.

[00:48:48] Well, I still need Biden to help me.

[00:48:51] I don't know if I'm missing a message or whatever.

[00:48:53] I need to get some of this debt away.

[00:48:54] I need for you to go online and just fill out all those applications.

[00:48:58] It don't matter what they say.

[00:48:59] Y'all clearly went on.

[00:49:00] Y'all get together on that.

[00:49:03] That, so for, for, for me to, to tell my child, you have to go to college.

[00:49:09] You need this, you need that knowing the situation that put me in.

[00:49:13] I don't want that.

[00:49:14] If you want to go to college, because there's something that you are passionate about and you

[00:49:19] need to go to college to learn, then go.

[00:49:22] But we've, I mean, there are so many other avenues out there.

[00:49:26] Um, he does music.

[00:49:28] He has a YouTube channel.

[00:49:31] Um, so he has these different things.

[00:49:33] It's just a matter of him checking into them so that he can grow them and, and earn from

[00:49:40] them.

[00:49:40] Oh, she has a beautiful voice.

[00:49:44] If we can get her to sit still for a moment and we can work with some of that.

[00:49:49] So, you know, we've been the type of parents we'll support you.

[00:49:52] We'll help you discover these paths or what have you.

[00:49:56] So you don't have to necessarily go to college, but you do need some type of plan.

[00:50:00] What you do.

[00:50:00] So, right.

[00:50:01] Right.

[00:50:01] Because we tie.

[00:50:04] Right.

[00:50:05] And it's so different how we are with our kids based on how our parents are.

[00:50:08] Like my middle son, he wants to be a fashion designer.

[00:50:12] So, you know, he makes his jewelry and there's been time I'm doing vendor events.

[00:50:15] I'm like, Hey, can I bring my son?

[00:50:17] He'll be right along with me selling his jewelry.

[00:50:19] And like I told him with me being an entrepreneur, you know, I meet a lot of different people.

[00:50:24] So I told him, I was like, Hey, if you ever want to put on a fashion show, let me know.

[00:50:28] So I know people who got event spaces, we can make it happen.

[00:50:32] You know, the opportunity is there and, you know, I push and let them know whatever you

[00:50:38] want to do.

[00:50:38] You can do like my youngest son.

[00:50:40] He's a football player.

[00:50:41] He had the opportunity.

[00:50:43] I may have told you this.

[00:50:43] He had the opportunity to go to West Point where everything was going to be paid.

[00:50:48] He was like, Mom, it's just not my passion.

[00:50:50] They don't have my major because he wants to do sports media.

[00:50:53] And I couldn't say, well, you got to do it because I thought about me.

[00:50:57] I said, well, I'm doing my passion.

[00:50:58] Right.

[00:50:59] Right.

[00:50:59] So I can't be a hypocrite and say, no, you're going to do this.

[00:51:03] I understood what he was saying.

[00:51:06] You know, he was like, he's not a military kid.

[00:51:08] Military wasn't part of his plan.

[00:51:10] So I'm not going to push that on him based on the connections, the abilities that he

[00:51:17] can get.

[00:51:17] You know, he has to want to do it.

[00:51:19] And we grew up in an era where our parents felt like what they felt like was right for

[00:51:25] us.

[00:51:26] And it wasn't.

[00:51:27] You know, like I tell them, if you want to learn a trade, go learn a trade.

[00:51:30] Right.

[00:51:31] While you're in that trade, start building up your clientele and learn everything you

[00:51:36] can to go out on your own.

[00:51:38] Right.

[00:51:38] And for me, it was you got to go to college.

[00:51:42] It doesn't matter what your degree is in.

[00:51:44] You got to go to college.

[00:51:46] It's coming from neither of my parents graduated college.

[00:51:50] So for them, they saw that as the level up.

[00:51:55] And so what's really funny and I thought about it, it's been the last couple of years

[00:52:01] when it when it really hit me, the realization of it.

[00:52:04] So when I first started college, there was a kid.

[00:52:08] Some schools had come to our high school and Spelman was one of the schools that had come.

[00:52:13] And I had spoken with one of the representatives about majoring in business.

[00:52:17] And so I went home.

[00:52:19] I was so excited.

[00:52:19] And I was telling my mom about it.

[00:52:21] And she said, you can't own a business without money.

[00:52:24] You have to have money to own a business.

[00:52:26] So that lack of knowledge, because she didn't she had never gone to college.

[00:52:32] I didn't know any better.

[00:52:33] But there are so many elements in majoring in business that I have been exposed to.

[00:52:40] And then it hit me.

[00:52:43] My father was an entrepreneur.

[00:52:45] My father owned his own business and was a subcontractor for my entire life.

[00:52:54] And supported us.

[00:52:56] I did.

[00:52:57] Right.

[00:52:57] And so I'm like, the fact that this is what provides us a living and that I'm being shied away from it.

[00:53:08] You know, it just didn't make sense to me.

[00:53:10] Because of lack of understanding.

[00:53:12] Right.

[00:53:12] I would say lack of understanding and that four letter word that starts with an F.

[00:53:17] Fear.

[00:53:18] Right.

[00:53:19] Right.

[00:53:20] Our parents and our grandparents, because of what they've seen and what they went through, there was a lot of fear of failure.

[00:53:28] Right.

[00:53:29] And it's made us scared of failing so we don't try.

[00:53:33] Because no soon as they tell us what we can't do, we like, OK, they said I can't do it.

[00:53:37] So I must not be able to do it.

[00:53:39] Mm hmm.

[00:53:39] Yeah.

[00:53:39] I'm going to tell you, when I decided to become an entrepreneur, my mother and sister was like, you can't leave your job.

[00:53:46] Uh huh.

[00:53:47] Where did something go wrong?

[00:53:49] And, you know, I say I'm the biggest risk taker of my mother.

[00:53:53] I'm the baby.

[00:53:54] I said, well, you know what?

[00:53:55] If something goes wrong, guess what?

[00:53:56] I have a license in something else now.

[00:53:58] I can go do something else.

[00:54:00] There's another way that I can do it.

[00:54:02] Like, I don't see anything that's wrong.

[00:54:06] Now, one thing I would say that I, where I may have gone wrong is I should have probably stayed in my job a little bit longer and let the business build up and become stable.

[00:54:16] Right.

[00:54:18] But I'm trying to now become a serial entrepreneur.

[00:54:21] But even in becoming a serial entrepreneur, you got to know your first business first.

[00:54:29] Right.

[00:54:29] Right.

[00:54:30] You jump into something else.

[00:54:31] Otherwise, you're going to be like, you're going to drive yourself crazy trying to create income.

[00:54:35] And as I see what I'm doing with this piece of entrepreneurship is, instead of me just saying, okay, I'm just going to sell life insurance and that's it.

[00:54:46] I'm like, no, I'm not going to sell.

[00:54:47] I'm going to educate.

[00:54:48] I'm going to create opportunities for myself by creating events.

[00:54:53] And that's how I'm going to build up my business.

[00:54:55] So coming in, I didn't know, but I took what I learned, like those mistakes that I made or that information that I didn't get.

[00:55:01] I took it and instead of getting mad and quitting, I found another way to go around it and just keep on going.

[00:55:08] Right.

[00:55:09] And that's what we have to do.

[00:55:12] That's where we are now is trying to get to that point to where we're comfortable with stepping away.

[00:55:19] But there again, it's an odd time because we've got retirement coming ahead of us.

[00:55:27] We have a financial situation that should have been handled differently that we need to work on.

[00:55:33] And we have whatever we're building together to work on.

[00:55:39] And then on top of the fact that we old and get tired trying to do all this stuff.

[00:55:45] So I am thankful that my kids, they see us, they see the grind.

[00:55:51] And they see, you know, when, like I said, we're on location today.

[00:55:54] So they saw when we're packing up, we're packing up lights and cords and all this other stuff so that they see it's not just us going on a little trip, but we've got purpose in it.

[00:56:06] And so hopefully those are things that they start to adopt now and create those things in their life.

[00:56:15] Mm-hmm.

[00:56:17] I try to make sure my son see everything I do.

[00:56:20] If I'm having an event, hey, I need y'all to come and help me set up.

[00:56:23] Yep.

[00:56:24] Y'all going to have to stay at my event because, you know, me and my youngest son are sharing cars.

[00:56:28] So, you know, when I had a women's event, he had to sit there the whole time.

[00:56:33] That'll make him a better band for somebody.

[00:56:36] That's okay.

[00:56:36] Right.

[00:56:37] That's okay.

[00:56:37] Right.

[00:56:38] But he got to see what mom is doing.

[00:56:40] You know, I talk to my kids, like I tell them when I'm not doing good, hey, I can't send you money because I got this, this, and this to pay.

[00:56:48] You know, this week wasn't a good week.

[00:56:49] I didn't make a lot of money.

[00:56:50] So I talk to them in not hiding what I go through financially, but sharing with them what I go through financially so they can understand.

[00:56:59] So, you know, like a conversation I'm going to have with them when my son comes home from college because he's in college.

[00:57:04] It's like, hey, I need to put money into my business so I need y'all to help with bills.

[00:57:11] Two of them still living at home.

[00:57:13] And the reason why I need help is because I'm trying to get my business off the ground so I don't have guaranteed income coming every two weeks.

[00:57:19] Right.

[00:57:20] So the more I got to put into the household bills, that takes away from my business and me trying to grow my business and get it stable.

[00:57:27] Right.

[00:57:29] Right.

[00:57:29] And we've started, we've had those conversations and been more open with them because that was something else we realized when they were little.

[00:57:37] Like our kids never knew there was any type of money struggle when there was or if there was.

[00:57:44] We could never tell them.

[00:57:45] Right.

[00:57:45] They could, because when they asked for something, if it was within reach, we made it happen.

[00:57:52] Yep.

[00:57:52] And if it was not within reach, we made it happen.

[00:57:57] Right.

[00:57:57] Right.

[00:57:57] And I think that's a big mistake for us.

[00:57:59] It is.

[00:58:00] It absolutely is.

[00:58:02] And we felt like, because that's how I grew up.

[00:58:06] Mm-hmm.

[00:58:07] His dad did a better job with allowing him to work and earn things and to realize that you put in effort.

[00:58:16] For me, I was like, whatever I asked for, they gave.

[00:58:21] And that crippled me so much as an adult because at the time, Georgia Power wasn't concerned with if my feelings was hurt.

[00:58:30] They just took money.

[00:58:32] They didn't care if I just needed a hug at the moment.

[00:58:36] Right.

[00:58:37] Right.

[00:58:37] So we tried to incorporate things with the kids.

[00:58:42] And we had a chore chart.

[00:58:44] And they had to, you know, they could earn a certain amount depending on it.

[00:58:47] We tried different things with them.

[00:58:49] But in the end, they never saw any type of struggle.

[00:58:55] They never knew that it was $20 sitting in the bank if payday was $40.

[00:59:00] Right.

[00:59:01] I know.

[00:59:02] I know that feeling.

[00:59:03] How we were going to get right.

[00:59:04] Because they were still eating.

[00:59:06] They were still participating in whatever.

[00:59:09] And so here recently, explaining things to them and letting them know, you know, we've hit a really hard time financially.

[00:59:21] And, you know, some things are going to have to be cut back on.

[00:59:25] And we can't do this and we can't do that.

[00:59:28] And at first, it's like they thought we were just talking.

[00:59:32] Like they didn't really believe it.

[00:59:34] But we had someone who was coming to cling.

[00:59:38] And when she stopped coming, my daughter is like, what happened to Amber?

[00:59:41] We had to put Amber on hold for a minute.

[00:59:44] That's right.

[00:59:45] We needed that money to come in.

[00:59:47] Really?

[00:59:48] Or we at one point, we were going on vacations and trips left and right.

[00:59:54] And if it wasn't a big trip, it was a weekend here, weekend there.

[00:59:58] And so in 2023, I think we went on one trip.

[01:00:01] And so you're not going anywhere for your birthday.

[01:00:06] You're not going anywhere for this.

[01:00:08] And so once they started seeing it, then they were like, we just didn't know.

[01:00:14] And, you know, we sheltered you from so much of this stuff.

[01:00:18] Yes.

[01:00:18] Yes.

[01:00:19] Now being open to them and letting them know this is where we are, but this is what we're doing.

[01:00:26] It has helped them to also to understand that, you know, while y'all are helping us as far as providing us a place to live, we need to do our part.

[01:00:39] Right.

[01:00:39] So now it's like, they're going to come home with some groceries or, you know.

[01:00:45] Yeah.

[01:00:45] Yes.

[01:00:46] We all here.

[01:00:46] Here's some money.

[01:00:47] It's not that it's needed necessarily, but, you know, they understand it.

[01:00:51] You know, it's not just.

[01:00:53] They're contributing.

[01:00:54] Yeah, they're contributing.

[01:00:54] They're contributing.

[01:00:55] Like you said.

[01:00:56] They're contributing.

[01:00:56] So they understand that.

[01:00:59] Yeah.

[01:01:00] We definitely see that we're trying to do something.

[01:01:02] Right.

[01:01:03] With our part of the venture.

[01:01:05] So it's like they understand that, you know, well, I see them working hard at it.

[01:01:11] So it's not like they've been coming in and I got to be quiet.

[01:01:15] We're recording.

[01:01:16] Right.

[01:01:16] You know what I'm saying?

[01:01:17] And they see all that.

[01:01:18] So they understand that, you know, mom and daddy, we're not just making something up.

[01:01:24] Right.

[01:01:25] Right.

[01:01:25] Right.

[01:01:25] We're actually doing.

[01:01:27] Right.

[01:01:28] Yeah.

[01:01:28] And we've had them.

[01:01:30] We've had them on the podcast a couple of times.

[01:01:33] And so we we've been incorporating them into it as well.

[01:01:39] Like I said, my son has a YouTube channel.

[01:01:42] And so he's he hit a rough spot.

[01:01:44] And I'm telling him, go on there.

[01:01:47] Share what you're going through, because there are other 26 year olds.

[01:01:52] That are going through the same thing.

[01:01:53] Yeah.

[01:01:54] Right.

[01:01:54] That are going through the same thing.

[01:01:56] Yes.

[01:01:56] So go on there and share.

[01:01:58] I said, you already have that platform established.

[01:02:02] And now that he's getting into a better headspace, he's back into his music and things like that.

[01:02:08] So just them being able to see what we're doing and what we're going through.

[01:02:15] But they're able to apply these things at an earlier age so that they will be able to be in a better position when they're our age.

[01:02:25] Right.

[01:02:26] Right.

[01:02:26] I know I would say for me, I know I would say, I'm going through the same thing.

[01:02:29] But I feel like there's two pieces that's missing for me.

[01:02:33] Like I'm a single mom.

[01:02:35] I have all boys.

[01:02:37] Being single, you know, they've never seen me in a loving relationship with a man helping me.

[01:02:43] And I feel like for me, that's a missing link because they've gotten so used to mom making it happen.

[01:02:49] Right.

[01:02:50] Right.

[01:02:50] I'm a sports mom.

[01:02:52] So I done made trips happen.

[01:02:54] Training happened.

[01:02:55] Uniform, shoes, whatever.

[01:02:57] I made it happen.

[01:02:58] Right.

[01:02:59] Right.

[01:02:59] So now it's like they don't, they've never seen a man help me.

[01:03:03] Right.

[01:03:04] And I'm now expecting them to help me.

[01:03:06] I think, feel like there's a disconnect.

[01:03:08] Mm-hmm.

[01:03:09] Because they're not automatically saying, okay, now I need to start helping mom.

[01:03:12] And that's why it becomes very important to have those conversations and say, hey, look, I don't work a W-2 job where I know every two weeks.

[01:03:21] Right.

[01:03:22] I'm going to get paid in my prior job.

[01:03:24] I not only got paid regular pay, I got overtime and bonus.

[01:03:29] Right.

[01:03:29] So that's three separate incomes.

[01:03:32] Uh-huh.

[01:03:32] Yep.

[01:03:32] And I don't have that no more.

[01:03:34] But, you know, getting them to understand that and understand that now that you're growing, I do tell them this, I don't have to help.

[01:03:42] Right.

[01:03:43] But I'm still making a way, but I need you to make a way for me too.

[01:03:47] Exactly.

[01:03:47] You know, we're a team now, so we got to help each other out.

[01:03:51] Mm-hmm.

[01:03:52] You know, so really getting them to understand, I'm an entrepreneur.

[01:03:56] And people think when you say you're an entrepreneur on your business, they automatically think, oh, you got a lot of money.

[01:04:01] Right.

[01:04:02] Right.

[01:04:03] Please, let's break that mess.

[01:04:05] Right.

[01:04:05] Let's break it, crush it, throw it down garbage.

[01:04:09] Right.

[01:04:09] It's like a roller coaster.

[01:04:11] It is.

[01:04:12] It is.

[01:04:12] But aside from the money aspect, the effort, the energy, the time.

[01:04:20] Mama's time.

[01:04:22] Yeah.

[01:04:22] We ain't got that same energy to be going to my function and your function like I did 10, 15 years ago.

[01:04:29] The sacrifices that you have to make between, you know, I want to do X, but I need to do Y.

[01:04:36] I, so I've got to, I've got to do Y because I'm trying to create, I'm trying to build this thing.

[01:04:42] And so the, aside from the money sacrifices, the time and energy and things.

[01:04:52] So we, we're learning and like, yeah, whatever we're building.

[01:04:59] Sometimes I think whatever it is takes the lead from us.

[01:05:03] That's right.

[01:05:04] It do.

[01:05:05] It do.

[01:05:05] But when you find what you're passionate about, no matter what the grit and the grind, the highs, the lows.

[01:05:12] Right.

[01:05:13] You love it because you're passionate about it.

[01:05:15] Right.

[01:05:16] Right.

[01:05:17] You know, and that's what a lot of people don't understand now.

[01:05:19] They just want the quickness.

[01:05:22] Right.

[01:05:22] You got passion.

[01:05:23] Yes.

[01:05:24] And, and.

[01:05:25] And that passion is going to take you so much further in helping people.

[01:05:28] It's going to take you so much further in life because, you know, people, they pay attention.

[01:05:33] People are going to watch.

[01:05:36] People say, you know what?

[01:05:38] They helped me out that time.

[01:05:39] Yep.

[01:05:40] Now I got an opportunity to do something for them.

[01:05:42] Yep.

[01:05:42] Bam.

[01:05:43] Yeah.

[01:05:43] Right there.

[01:05:44] Just overflowing.

[01:05:45] You know, like, I wasn't expecting that.

[01:05:47] Right.

[01:05:48] Right.

[01:05:49] Mm-hmm.

[01:05:51] So we're going to get ready to wrap things up because we could keep going.

[01:05:55] Keep going.

[01:05:56] I know.

[01:05:57] We could keep going.

[01:06:00] So if, if the listeners want to find you and learn more about Crystal Brooks Investments, LLC,

[01:06:09] where can they find you and any other information that you want to share with the listeners?

[01:06:17] Well, you can find me on all social media platforms.

[01:06:19] Let me spell my name for you, y'all, because y'all going to spell it wrong.

[01:06:22] I'm guaranteed of that.

[01:06:24] So it's K-R-I, S as in Sam, T as in Tom, L-E.

[01:06:30] Brooks is spelled normal and investments is with the S.

[01:06:33] You can find me on Facebook, Instagram, on LinkedIn.

[01:06:36] I'm only on there as Crystal Brooks.

[01:06:38] Okay.

[01:06:39] But those are the, and TikTok, I think I'm on there as K-E Brooks 76.

[01:06:43] But those are the four main social media platforms that I use.

[01:06:48] And the biggest thing, this is my tagline that I will tell people is that the more, you know, the more your finances can grow.

[01:06:55] Don't let nobody just box you in with just knowing about one aspect of the finances.

[01:07:01] Learn everything that you can.

[01:07:02] It's a lifelong journey.

[01:07:04] And the more you learn, the more you're going to be able to grow your money.

[01:07:08] And last thing is that I always think about ways to save, grow, and protect your money.

[01:07:14] I love it.

[01:07:16] I love it.

[01:07:18] And hopefully we're going to figure out how to stream.

[01:07:22] Yes.

[01:07:23] We ain't got to worry about that because we family now.

[01:07:29] Right.

[01:07:30] I'm going to figure out some way.

[01:07:31] We got another family member.

[01:07:35] Because can't I just do, I can just put StreamYard on my phone and get like a tripod?

[01:07:40] I think so.

[01:07:43] We played with it a little bit on the laptop, but we've also, we actually, we were on the phone.

[01:07:50] We were a guest on somebody's live stream and we used it from the phone.

[01:07:56] Okay.

[01:07:57] Okay.

[01:07:57] Well, look, all I need to get is that little tripod that moves around.

[01:08:01] Because when I talk, I want to be moving around.

[01:08:04] You see my thumb.

[01:08:06] So once again, we thank you.

[01:08:09] We appreciate your time.

[01:08:10] We've enjoyed it.

[01:08:11] Thank you for having me.

[01:08:12] We will certainly be in touch.

[01:08:15] And if you don't hear from me before the 21st, I'm going to be expecting my link to long.

[01:08:22] I am.

[01:08:23] Yes, I am.

[01:08:24] We've really enjoyed it.

[01:08:25] And we appreciate all the wisdom that you've shared with us today.

[01:08:29] Thank you.

[01:08:30] I've enjoyed talking to you guys.

[01:08:32] I love talking to people and just meeting people.

[01:08:34] It's been good.

[01:08:36] It's been good.

[01:08:37] Yeah.

[01:08:46] Thanks for joining us on this episode of the Beyond I Do podcast.

[01:08:50] Please make sure to like this episode and also subscribe to our podcast.

[01:08:56] You can also find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube at the Beyond I Do podcast.

[01:09:02] And until next time, we will holler at y'all.