In the episode, we’re chatting with Tati, a self-care advocate and founder of Precise Peace Coordination. Tati is a wife and mom of two from Chicago who knows firsthand how important it is to prioritize self-care for mental health. She’s on a mission to help others do the same through her products, events, and workshops, which have already supported hundreds of people in their self-care journeys. Tune in to hear her inspiring story and practical tips for making self-care a part of your everyday life.
[00:00:03] After over 25 years of marriage, we've learned that successful couples have great friendships, put each other first, and focus on light just as much as love. We believe marriage should be fun and easy.
[00:00:15] Our goal is to share our journey with the hopes of helping others build strong, happy relationships. Join us as we continue to create our lives beyond I do.
[00:00:35] Do you and your partner want to learn simple ways to grow closer?
[00:00:38] Do you and your partner want to grow happier together?
[00:00:42] Do you and your partner want to be a unified front?
[00:00:45] Do you and your partner want to divorce-proof your marriage?
[00:00:49] If you answer yes to these questions, you need to check out our book, A Locker Forever, 10 Keys to a Successful Marriage Beyond I Do.
[00:00:58] Each section focuses on a different aspect of marriage and briefly describes how we handled it in our relationship.
[00:01:04] At the end of the section, you're given an action step or key to complete with your partner.
[00:01:09] These keys are practical steps you can immediately implement in your relationship and help you or your partner be proactive and intentional about your relationship.
[00:01:19] You can purchase your copy on Amazon.com.
[00:01:22] And until next time, we will holler at y'all.
[00:01:28] We are not marriage counselors nor are we mental health professionals.
[00:01:32] We're just simply sharing y'all how we navigated through our marriage.
[00:01:35] Now, on with the show.
[00:01:37] We'd like to welcome you back to the Beyond I Do podcast.
[00:01:52] We have with us a special guest.
[00:01:56] Comes to us by the name of Tati Wells.
[00:02:01] Tati makes sure that she prioritizes her self-care to ensure her mental health is in order.
[00:02:07] She is a newly married mother of two.
[00:02:13] Her passions in life is encouraging and teaching others to do the same using the products she has created under her business, Precise Peace Coordination.
[00:02:25] We'd like to welcome you to the Beyond I Do podcast, Ms. Tati.
[00:02:30] Thank you.
[00:02:31] Thank you.
[00:02:32] I'm all right now.
[00:02:34] All right.
[00:02:36] All right.
[00:02:37] So, Ms. Tati Wells, will you please tell us a little bit about yourself and tell us about Precise Peace Coordination?
[00:02:47] For sure.
[00:02:50] Honestly, I would say back in 2019, I started just going through a healing journey, basically from inside out.
[00:02:59] I started watching what I ate.
[00:03:01] I started working out all the time.
[00:03:02] I was literally doing 5 a.m. at like five days a week, four to five days a week.
[00:03:08] So, really committed to just my overall health.
[00:03:11] I was in therapy.
[00:03:13] I literally just did everything I could to get me in order.
[00:03:17] I realized at that point that, okay, I'm an adult now.
[00:03:21] Nobody's coming to save me.
[00:03:23] Whatever I don't like, I need to just change.
[00:03:26] Everything is within me.
[00:03:28] I started to really realize, like, anything I wanted to change or anything I wanted to do in this life, it all came down to me and my decisions.
[00:03:35] And just thinking about my future.
[00:03:38] So, I would say, yeah, in 2019, it's pretty much when I started to just get life in order for myself.
[00:03:45] And then, I would say in 2021, going to the end of 2021, I've always been like a person that uses planners.
[00:03:55] So, I was thinking ahead.
[00:03:56] It was October.
[00:03:57] I was thinking ahead.
[00:03:58] Like, okay, January is around the corner.
[00:03:59] I need a new planner.
[00:04:02] And I think I posted it, like, maybe on Instagram or something.
[00:04:05] You know, just sharing my thoughts.
[00:04:07] And somebody was like, why don't you just make one?
[00:04:09] Because I've known I've been really creative throughout the years.
[00:04:13] So, people were just like, you should just make one.
[00:04:15] And I was like, you know what?
[00:04:17] That's not a bad idea.
[00:04:19] But literally, I just jumped on it.
[00:04:22] I just jumped on creating a template and literally making the kind of planner that I knew I needed.
[00:04:29] I had been using planners for that point, maybe about 10 years.
[00:04:32] And I just always knew something was missing from them.
[00:04:35] And for me, it was just that self-care element.
[00:04:38] Like, I can write out, you know, all the meetings, all the time I go to the gym, but really kind of combining everything all in one so that I have something that keeps me accountable.
[00:04:49] And something special about my planners, they have a mood tracker.
[00:04:52] So, that way, throughout the month, I'm able to color in how I'm feeling each day.
[00:04:56] So, I can go back and really look, how was I feeling this month?
[00:05:00] Because sometimes, you know, after a long 30 days, you really don't remember what day was what.
[00:05:04] So, being able to really go back and see, you know, maybe there was a week something was happening.
[00:05:10] I can literally look at it and see, okay, this is what was going on.
[00:05:14] So, just using my own planner really just kept me on track.
[00:05:19] In 2022, I had my first daughter.
[00:05:23] And she was definitely something I needed, someone I needed, I should say.
[00:05:28] She has really just blessed my life.
[00:05:30] And it's so cool to see yourself in another little person.
[00:05:35] Like, I can't even explain it.
[00:05:37] But I know you guys know.
[00:05:39] So, even with having my daughter, I got married a week before she was born.
[00:05:44] Yes.
[00:05:45] So, I had a lot of change real quick.
[00:05:49] Now, it's already, she's only two.
[00:05:51] I have two kids now.
[00:05:53] So, it's been a lot of change in, you know, a short amount of time.
[00:05:57] But I really think just the things I've done to prepare to this point have really been helpful for me.
[00:06:05] Because, yes, things are still, you know, I'm still adjusting.
[00:06:08] Things are not easy.
[00:06:09] But I think just having that time to be selfish before I had kids, before I got married,
[00:06:16] really do things that I knew I wanted that has just helped in this journey.
[00:06:20] Because now I have, you know, two kids.
[00:06:23] I have a husband.
[00:06:24] I have a house.
[00:06:24] I'm still working.
[00:06:25] I have a business.
[00:06:26] But at the core, I'm still Tatiana.
[00:06:30] That's really what, you know, just helped me get through the days.
[00:06:34] It's knowing after all of this, I'm still a woman.
[00:06:37] I'm still me.
[00:06:38] I'm still her.
[00:06:39] So, getting back to that has always been, you know, just a beautiful journey for me.
[00:06:44] So, I just use my products, literally, to keep me grounded, keep me going.
[00:06:49] All right.
[00:06:54] Coincidentally, last Friday,
[00:06:56] we celebrated our anniversary, our 27th anniversary.
[00:07:00] Yes, I saw.
[00:07:03] Tomorrow, our son turns 27.
[00:07:06] Beat him by a week.
[00:07:07] Beat him by a week.
[00:07:08] We understand completely.
[00:07:09] Exactly a week.
[00:07:10] And to go from, even, and you know, you're pregnant, and especially with your first child, you know what's about to happen.
[00:07:22] But you still are in that bubble of, it's me and you.
[00:07:26] And all of a sudden, you know, there's the three of us.
[00:07:31] Like you said, you're married.
[00:07:33] There's no time to process that.
[00:07:35] You have a child.
[00:07:36] So, we get it.
[00:07:38] What we didn't do was turn around and do it right back a second time.
[00:07:46] Bless you.
[00:07:47] Because both girls, correct?
[00:07:50] Is that right?
[00:07:51] Oh, bless you.
[00:07:55] So, we're going to continue to keep you in prayer.
[00:07:58] Thank you.
[00:07:59] We're going to cover you.
[00:08:00] Because I used to say my son physically has my face.
[00:08:08] He looks like me.
[00:08:11] My daughter is my mirror.
[00:08:14] And there are some things that I can remember.
[00:08:17] I was getting on to her about her room when she was preaching, probably 12 or so.
[00:08:23] And I'm telling her, this is disgusting.
[00:08:25] Girl, why does your room look like this?
[00:08:27] And then it flashed in my head, my mom telling me the same thing.
[00:08:34] So, that's going to be a fun journey for you.
[00:08:39] I can only imagine.
[00:08:41] Look, I want to go back and I'm not going to ask your age.
[00:08:46] But you said in 2019, there was this realization of adulthood.
[00:08:51] Were you still in your 20s?
[00:08:53] Had you hit a milestone birthday or was there something that happened?
[00:09:00] It wasn't.
[00:09:01] I was still in my 20s.
[00:09:02] There wasn't a milestone.
[00:09:03] It was just I wasn't happy with the way things were going in my life.
[00:09:08] Just certain situations just made me say, okay, it's time to grow up because what are you doing?
[00:09:14] What are you doing?
[00:09:18] Nothing like that was, I would say, life or death situation, but more so just, this is crazy.
[00:09:24] This is childish.
[00:09:25] You need to grow up.
[00:09:28] Self-realization is powerful.
[00:09:30] So, you were sitting like, not saying what you were doing.
[00:09:33] So, you were like sitting in the club and everybody was bouncing around.
[00:09:37] And you just sitting at the ball with that, you know what, this is really silly.
[00:09:42] This ain't it.
[00:09:44] This ain't it.
[00:09:45] You know, you just start to realize the crowd you in, the things you're doing, this is not satisfying me.
[00:09:51] Like, I get used to maybe five years ago.
[00:09:54] I think that's just what it is too.
[00:09:55] Like, you know, this isn't still college.
[00:09:58] You got to grow up at some point.
[00:10:00] You got to do something different.
[00:10:01] It's time for a change.
[00:10:03] That's fantastic.
[00:10:05] And I know that the idea of self-care within the past few years, that's been a very popular thing.
[00:10:13] And then, especially within the Black community, seeking mental health guidance and help has not been a really big thing.
[00:10:27] So, the fact that you have this realization and you have these resources and this support to go through these things is really awesome.
[00:10:39] Because we grew up in a time where, and I think it's still this way to a certain extent, but whatever happens in our house stays in our house.
[00:10:50] There you go.
[00:10:52] We grew up, white folks go get help.
[00:10:56] Black folks go to Jesus.
[00:10:58] Right.
[00:10:59] And that's it.
[00:10:59] And we've come so far in realizing that, no, there are physical things that you can point to that attribute to what manifests mentally.
[00:11:15] And so, knowing that you were in a time where you could take control and go to those resources, that's wonderful.
[00:11:24] And so, your business, this precise piece coordination.
[00:11:34] So, you started out, okay, I want a journal, I'm sorry, a planner, and I want all of these things in it, suggestion to make it.
[00:11:42] So, how did that creating your planner then grow into your business?
[00:11:48] Yeah.
[00:11:50] This is, what, end of 2021, I did the planner.
[00:11:54] And then just, I would say, maybe within the first few months, I was like, you know what?
[00:11:59] This can go further than just the planner because the planner was selling so well.
[00:12:03] Like, every time I would do, like, a pop-up job, people were like, oh, my God, I need this.
[00:12:09] Or, you know, just like you say, we need this.
[00:12:11] As Black people, we need this.
[00:12:12] This is time for us to realize, no, this is important.
[00:12:16] Like, we really need this.
[00:12:17] So, I really just started thinking of other ways that I can incorporate self-care into products that weren't a planner.
[00:12:25] Because I realized everybody might not need a planner.
[00:12:28] But there's other products that I can make that will be, you know, just as helpful for people.
[00:12:34] So, then I made the coloring and activity book.
[00:12:37] I made the pair care book, which is the self-care guide for couples.
[00:12:40] That's what you guys have.
[00:12:41] I have a little notepad to help you get through your day.
[00:12:46] It has, like, a little gratitude list on there.
[00:12:49] Really just trying to think of all different things that people can use.
[00:12:53] Really just incorporate that self-care in literally every nook and cranny of your life.
[00:12:57] Because it's so easy for, you know, life to just pass.
[00:13:01] And you're getting worn down.
[00:13:03] You're not realizing you're burnt out.
[00:13:04] Because you're not putting yourself first.
[00:13:06] You're not prioritizing your self-care for real.
[00:13:09] Right.
[00:13:10] And I just, I realized how important that is for mental health.
[00:13:14] So, really just thinking of any product that I can make that will be helpful for anyone.
[00:13:18] And as women, especially when you move into the role of mother and wife, we tend to carry the weight of so many things and responsibilities.
[00:13:34] That the planner and things like that are necessary to just keep up with things.
[00:13:40] But then also adding that element of the gratitude list, the mood tracker and those things.
[00:13:46] So that I have this in front of me anyways.
[00:13:49] At least there are these pieces that kind of help me monitor myself.
[00:13:55] And you mentioned the prepare care.
[00:13:58] A self-care guide for couples.
[00:14:01] And so, I just want to send a shout out to us real quick.
[00:14:07] Because you made us feel like we were somebody.
[00:14:10] Yeah.
[00:14:11] So, back story.
[00:14:14] There was an email that came in.
[00:14:16] Said, hi.
[00:14:18] And you introduced yourself.
[00:14:19] And you told us about it.
[00:14:20] And we had had Marquise and Taylor on.
[00:14:25] And we were on their podcast as well.
[00:14:27] And they are a phenomenal young couple.
[00:14:30] And so, that was the connection.
[00:14:32] They are in Chicago as well.
[00:14:34] And so, I was like, look, somebody reached out to us.
[00:14:40] We're famous.
[00:14:43] So, we met.
[00:14:45] We did our little meet and greet.
[00:14:47] And talked to you.
[00:14:48] And then we ordered our copy.
[00:14:50] And we have done some of the activities.
[00:14:53] And we are doing a separate video of some of the activities.
[00:14:58] And the unboxing of the journal.
[00:15:01] And we share our thoughts on that video.
[00:15:04] So, after listening to this episode.
[00:15:07] And after purchasing your copy of the Pear Care Journal.
[00:15:13] Or a planner from Precise Peace Coordination.
[00:15:17] Then go watch the video.
[00:15:20] Yep.
[00:15:21] And watch us.
[00:15:23] And we.
[00:15:25] The 30 Day Challenge.
[00:15:27] We're working on it.
[00:15:29] We're going to take that into 2025 with us.
[00:15:33] Thank you.
[00:15:35] ADHD in me is like.
[00:15:37] All right.
[00:15:37] We got 30 days.
[00:15:38] So, every day we need to do something.
[00:15:40] But then, you know.
[00:15:43] We forget.
[00:15:44] You know.
[00:15:45] Things happen.
[00:15:46] So, you know.
[00:15:47] Oh, we haven't done one of the challenges.
[00:15:49] And one of us is getting old.
[00:15:52] Only one.
[00:15:54] I love it.
[00:15:55] Only one of us.
[00:15:56] One of us.
[00:15:57] One of us.
[00:15:58] You're not wrong.
[00:15:59] You're not wrong.
[00:16:01] I'll take it.
[00:16:02] One of us is getting wiser.
[00:16:03] One of us is aging.
[00:16:05] I'll take that.
[00:16:06] So, and this is.
[00:16:09] You know.
[00:16:10] We are.
[00:16:11] We started this to promote.
[00:16:14] Happy, healthy relationships.
[00:16:16] And so, when you reached out to us.
[00:16:18] And giving us a tool.
[00:16:21] That we can share.
[00:16:22] Not only work through ourselves.
[00:16:24] But share with others.
[00:16:25] That can help.
[00:16:27] Strengthen that bond.
[00:16:28] We were more than happy.
[00:16:30] And excited.
[00:16:31] After we spoke with you.
[00:16:32] And to be able to have this opportunity.
[00:16:35] Um.
[00:16:37] So.
[00:16:38] Tell us about.
[00:16:40] Balancing.
[00:16:42] All of these.
[00:16:43] Because.
[00:16:44] You said your daughter was born in 2022.
[00:16:47] So.
[00:16:47] I mean.
[00:16:48] In a very short amount of time.
[00:16:51] You have gone from.
[00:16:53] Sitting single.
[00:16:54] Realizing.
[00:16:55] I got to do something.
[00:16:57] To now.
[00:16:58] You're a wife.
[00:16:59] You're a mother.
[00:17:00] Two times over.
[00:17:01] You said you used to work.
[00:17:03] You own your own company.
[00:17:06] Yes.
[00:17:07] Tell us.
[00:17:08] How it was.
[00:17:10] Balancing.
[00:17:11] And juggling.
[00:17:12] All of those.
[00:17:13] Other than.
[00:17:14] But God.
[00:17:15] How do you.
[00:17:16] I was going to say.
[00:17:16] That's the first thing.
[00:17:17] I can say.
[00:17:18] But God.
[00:17:19] Because honestly.
[00:17:21] Um.
[00:17:23] Man.
[00:17:24] It's.
[00:17:24] I would say.
[00:17:25] It's a daily work in progress.
[00:17:26] Honestly.
[00:17:27] It's truly.
[00:17:29] Taking each day as it is.
[00:17:31] Taking each day for what it is.
[00:17:32] Leaving yesterday at yesterday.
[00:17:34] Yep.
[00:17:34] Today's a new day.
[00:17:36] And.
[00:17:37] We going to get through it.
[00:17:38] Yeah.
[00:17:39] Sometimes my husband and I just look at each other like.
[00:17:41] Yes.
[00:17:42] We got this.
[00:17:43] We have those moments.
[00:17:45] With the toddlers being a toddler.
[00:17:47] The baby crying.
[00:17:49] I'm going to start crying in a second.
[00:17:51] Because.
[00:17:51] Yes.
[00:17:52] Everything can be chaos.
[00:17:53] But.
[00:17:54] I think I realized too.
[00:17:55] Just how.
[00:17:57] Beautiful it is.
[00:17:58] To be able to experience this as well.
[00:18:01] I don't think there are many people that could.
[00:18:04] Literally.
[00:18:05] You know.
[00:18:05] Like say.
[00:18:06] Go from single.
[00:18:07] To married.
[00:18:08] A family of four.
[00:18:09] In under five years.
[00:18:11] And really.
[00:18:12] See the.
[00:18:13] See the good in that.
[00:18:14] You know.
[00:18:14] I think a lot of people would.
[00:18:16] See it as very.
[00:18:17] Very stressful.
[00:18:17] And at times.
[00:18:18] It can be.
[00:18:19] But.
[00:18:20] Honestly.
[00:18:20] I just see.
[00:18:21] Just how beautiful.
[00:18:22] My life is.
[00:18:24] That I get to do all of these things.
[00:18:26] That's really my.
[00:18:27] You know.
[00:18:28] My.
[00:18:28] Phrase.
[00:18:29] Is I get to do these things.
[00:18:31] Right.
[00:18:31] Things aren't happening to me.
[00:18:32] They're happening for me.
[00:18:34] Like.
[00:18:35] I can't even.
[00:18:36] I'm just blessed.
[00:18:37] Honestly.
[00:18:38] Because.
[00:18:38] Yes.
[00:18:39] There are some days.
[00:18:39] I'm pulling my hair out.
[00:18:41] Oh my goodness.
[00:18:42] But then there are other days.
[00:18:44] That.
[00:18:44] They just make it so easy.
[00:18:46] And so.
[00:18:46] You know.
[00:18:47] When your baby walks up to you.
[00:18:48] And give you a hug.
[00:18:49] Okay.
[00:18:50] All is forgiven.
[00:18:51] I don't even care that you wrote on the wall.
[00:18:53] It's all good.
[00:18:54] You can wipe it off.
[00:18:55] Yeah.
[00:18:56] Look.
[00:18:57] Let me tell you something.
[00:18:58] Let me tell you something about that.
[00:18:59] You brought up something.
[00:19:00] About writing on the wall.
[00:19:02] You know.
[00:19:02] So.
[00:19:03] Now we're products.
[00:19:05] You know.
[00:19:06] The 70s and 80s.
[00:19:07] So you know.
[00:19:08] Mom and daddy had the room that you couldn't go in unless company was there.
[00:19:14] With the plastic on it.
[00:19:16] On the house.
[00:19:16] Yeah.
[00:19:16] Yeah.
[00:19:16] Plastic on the furniture.
[00:19:18] You know.
[00:19:18] So you know.
[00:19:19] We got together.
[00:19:20] I just made a decision to say.
[00:19:22] You know.
[00:19:23] There are some elements that I wanted to keep from growing up.
[00:19:27] But there's some things.
[00:19:28] And I just.
[00:19:29] You know.
[00:19:30] Ain't no need to have no room in the house.
[00:19:33] For company.
[00:19:34] We only see company that much more than you.
[00:19:36] That don't live here.
[00:19:37] You know what I'm saying?
[00:19:38] I don't even like people like that.
[00:19:39] So it's like.
[00:19:40] Let these.
[00:19:41] We dedicated a room.
[00:19:43] In every house we own.
[00:19:45] To this.
[00:19:46] This is.
[00:19:46] This is your.
[00:19:47] Look.
[00:19:47] You can mess this up.
[00:19:49] Do what you want to do.
[00:19:50] Get your toys in the flow.
[00:19:52] Whatever you need to do.
[00:19:53] Because we want you to.
[00:19:54] To grow up and be you.
[00:19:56] There's writings on the wall.
[00:19:57] The daughter drew on the wall.
[00:19:59] You know.
[00:19:59] We just.
[00:20:00] And it was.
[00:20:01] It just created such a level of freedom.
[00:20:04] So you don't have to.
[00:20:06] Stress over some of that small stuff.
[00:20:08] Because it's enough.
[00:20:09] Right.
[00:20:09] Raising them children.
[00:20:10] Oh yes.
[00:20:11] This is enough.
[00:20:13] So keep that mind frame.
[00:20:15] And don't worry about all that.
[00:20:16] And look.
[00:20:17] Let nobody tell you.
[00:20:19] How to raise your children.
[00:20:20] You know.
[00:20:21] You take them.
[00:20:22] Oh.
[00:20:22] From.
[00:20:23] You're going to say.
[00:20:24] Okay.
[00:20:24] All right.
[00:20:25] I got you.
[00:20:26] But.
[00:20:27] We're going to talk about this.
[00:20:28] And we're going to make this decision.
[00:20:31] Oh yeah.
[00:20:32] I love that you said.
[00:20:34] You know.
[00:20:34] Sometimes two of you look at each other.
[00:20:36] Yeah.
[00:20:37] Because that shows that.
[00:20:39] Both of you are in it.
[00:20:40] Together.
[00:20:41] I mean.
[00:20:42] And.
[00:20:43] You're going to need that.
[00:20:46] We still look at each other.
[00:20:49] And the baby is 23.
[00:20:51] And we still look at each other like.
[00:20:54] We did that.
[00:20:56] See.
[00:20:56] I know he's sitting in the other room now.
[00:20:58] Looking at the dope.
[00:20:59] She don't come out of it.
[00:21:06] That's funny.
[00:21:07] So.
[00:21:08] What's the future for.
[00:21:11] Precise peace coordination.
[00:21:13] That's a tongue twister.
[00:21:17] Tongue twister.
[00:21:18] But what's.
[00:21:18] What's the future for precise peace coordination.
[00:21:22] Um.
[00:21:23] Honestly.
[00:21:24] Um.
[00:21:25] In the new year.
[00:21:26] Something I've done.
[00:21:27] Is made my products digital.
[00:21:29] So people can get them.
[00:21:30] For on the go.
[00:21:32] Um.
[00:21:33] Let's see.
[00:21:33] What else we have.
[00:21:34] I am continuing.
[00:21:35] Just to do workshops.
[00:21:37] I do.
[00:21:37] Like.
[00:21:37] Workshops at schools.
[00:21:39] You know.
[00:21:39] I do my own events.
[00:21:40] On the side.
[00:21:41] Continue to do pop-ups.
[00:21:43] Um.
[00:21:44] Um.
[00:21:44] Honestly.
[00:21:45] I just want to.
[00:21:46] Be a tool.
[00:21:48] Honestly.
[00:21:48] I just want to use my life.
[00:21:49] And this business.
[00:21:50] Just as a tool.
[00:21:51] To help.
[00:21:52] In any way that I can.
[00:21:54] Um.
[00:21:54] I reach out to.
[00:21:55] You know.
[00:21:56] Just different places.
[00:21:57] That are near me.
[00:21:58] Recently.
[00:21:58] I just reached out to a.
[00:22:00] It's a teen.
[00:22:01] Mental health lounge.
[00:22:02] And.
[00:22:03] I'm like.
[00:22:03] You know what.
[00:22:04] How can I collaborate with them?
[00:22:05] If I can get on their calendar.
[00:22:07] You know.
[00:22:07] One day a week.
[00:22:08] One day a month.
[00:22:09] Doesn't matter.
[00:22:09] Um.
[00:22:11] I just like to.
[00:22:12] Really spread this.
[00:22:13] Because.
[00:22:13] This is so important.
[00:22:15] This mental health.
[00:22:16] Thing is not going away.
[00:22:17] Anytime soon.
[00:22:18] I feel like.
[00:22:19] COVID just pushed it.
[00:22:20] To the forefront.
[00:22:21] And.
[00:22:22] I need to keep it going.
[00:22:23] Um.
[00:22:24] And honestly.
[00:22:25] I use this business.
[00:22:27] As part of my self-care.
[00:22:28] Um.
[00:22:29] Just the other day.
[00:22:30] I realized.
[00:22:31] Like.
[00:22:31] You know what.
[00:22:32] Let me.
[00:22:33] Write out my content.
[00:22:34] For the next month.
[00:22:35] But I write it out.
[00:22:36] In a way.
[00:22:37] That's.
[00:22:37] You know.
[00:22:37] Like a.
[00:22:38] Cool little.
[00:22:39] Flow chart journal.
[00:22:40] Like.
[00:22:41] It's just so artsy.
[00:22:42] And it's like.
[00:22:42] Okay.
[00:22:42] This is my way of.
[00:22:44] You know.
[00:22:44] Being creative.
[00:22:45] But also still getting the work done.
[00:22:47] Right.
[00:22:48] Um.
[00:22:48] So honestly.
[00:22:49] Precise pieces.
[00:22:50] It's my little baby.
[00:22:52] It's my first baby.
[00:22:53] Because.
[00:22:54] It is.
[00:22:54] It's really keeping me going.
[00:22:55] Honestly.
[00:22:56] All the products.
[00:22:57] That I use.
[00:22:58] They're keeping me going.
[00:22:59] They're keeping me.
[00:23:01] You know.
[00:23:01] Through this.
[00:23:02] Two.
[00:23:02] Two little kids.
[00:23:03] Oh my god.
[00:23:04] Two under three.
[00:23:04] Right.
[00:23:05] Right.
[00:23:06] I know you're tired.
[00:23:08] We know.
[00:23:08] We know.
[00:23:09] I know.
[00:23:09] You're tired.
[00:23:10] And your hair is beautiful.
[00:23:12] You.
[00:23:12] You have the little makeup on.
[00:23:14] I know.
[00:23:16] You're going to sleep good.
[00:23:18] And you sleep good.
[00:23:19] That's what I do for me.
[00:23:21] Right.
[00:23:21] That is what I do for me.
[00:23:22] Honestly.
[00:23:23] This business is something that.
[00:23:25] I can do for others.
[00:23:27] And do for myself.
[00:23:29] Tomorrow.
[00:23:30] I'm going to.
[00:23:31] Volunteer to.
[00:23:32] I raised money for the last month or so.
[00:23:35] To raise money for the homeless.
[00:23:37] And I ended up.
[00:23:39] Finding out that there is a.
[00:23:41] Organization that was already doing homeless.
[00:23:44] But for children.
[00:23:45] So I basically just brought all the things that I was going to buy about.
[00:23:48] Some thermals.
[00:23:49] Some hats.
[00:23:50] Some gloves.
[00:23:51] Scars for the kids.
[00:23:52] And I'm going to go drop that off to them.
[00:23:54] You know.
[00:23:54] Help them wrap the presents for the kids.
[00:23:56] And it's like.
[00:23:57] To me.
[00:23:58] That is more than enough.
[00:23:59] Like.
[00:23:59] I am blessed to be able to do that.
[00:24:02] And I promise God.
[00:24:04] God will just blow your.
[00:24:05] When you just sit back.
[00:24:07] And you do what you need to do for yourself.
[00:24:09] God will provide everything else.
[00:24:12] So honestly.
[00:24:13] Precise pieces.
[00:24:14] It's going to do its thing.
[00:24:16] I honestly try not to even stress.
[00:24:18] Like the.
[00:24:18] The sales of it.
[00:24:20] I just try to think about how many connections I make.
[00:24:23] Right.
[00:24:23] How many people I impact.
[00:24:24] Whether they buy something or not.
[00:24:26] I know I am impacting people in a way that.
[00:24:29] Yes.
[00:24:29] You know.
[00:24:30] It's priceless.
[00:24:31] That's.
[00:24:32] That's exactly how we feel about Beyond I Do.
[00:24:35] Right.
[00:24:35] That.
[00:24:36] We know that whoever needs to hear is going to hear.
[00:24:40] So we get it.
[00:24:42] Yeah.
[00:24:42] The money's going to come.
[00:24:43] That's down the line right now.
[00:24:45] It's about connections.
[00:24:46] And making a difference.
[00:24:48] Folks lives.
[00:24:50] So being that this is a marriage podcast.
[00:24:55] We would like to hear.
[00:24:57] Some of your love story.
[00:24:59] Like.
[00:25:00] How does.
[00:25:01] How do you walk into your life.
[00:25:03] The choker.
[00:25:05] Were you sitting.
[00:25:06] You sitting in the club.
[00:25:07] At night.
[00:25:08] And was like.
[00:25:08] I need to keep my stuff together.
[00:25:10] I think I'm going to keep it together.
[00:25:14] I wish it happened like that.
[00:25:18] Oh my.
[00:25:21] Definitely not.
[00:25:22] Not the club.
[00:25:23] This was.
[00:25:24] That's a good thing.
[00:25:26] Yeah.
[00:25:27] Yeah.
[00:25:27] You're right.
[00:25:28] Definitely not the club.
[00:25:30] I was actually a math tutor back in college.
[00:25:33] And my husband was one of my students back then.
[00:25:38] He was a freshman.
[00:25:40] I was a sophomore.
[00:25:41] You too.
[00:25:42] Honestly.
[00:25:43] But no.
[00:25:44] Let me tell you.
[00:25:44] Like back then.
[00:25:46] Never looked at him like that.
[00:25:47] Like I really was looking.
[00:25:49] You know.
[00:25:49] Just at him as.
[00:25:50] One of my students.
[00:25:52] I had about.
[00:25:53] I think.
[00:25:54] I had two classes at the time.
[00:25:55] So I had 60 students.
[00:25:56] You're just one of them at that point.
[00:25:58] Like.
[00:25:59] You come in for extra help.
[00:26:00] Cool.
[00:26:01] If not.
[00:26:02] Cool.
[00:26:02] I'm still getting my check.
[00:26:03] That's all I'm here for.
[00:26:05] Um.
[00:26:06] I would say about fast forward.
[00:26:09] Maybe.
[00:26:10] I don't know.
[00:26:11] Maybe like six or seven years.
[00:26:13] Um.
[00:26:14] I used to make.
[00:26:16] Greek paddles.
[00:26:17] Um.
[00:26:17] Because I'm in a sorority.
[00:26:18] I'm in Zeta Phi Beta.
[00:26:19] And his mom is also.
[00:26:21] Um.
[00:26:21] A Zeta.
[00:26:22] So.
[00:26:22] He was like.
[00:26:23] Hey.
[00:26:23] He reached out.
[00:26:24] You know.
[00:26:24] He had saw.
[00:26:25] Was making paddles on Instagram.
[00:26:26] He's like.
[00:26:27] Hey.
[00:26:27] Can you make a paddle for mom?
[00:26:28] I'm like.
[00:26:29] Sure.
[00:26:29] You know.
[00:26:30] Again.
[00:26:30] I know you.
[00:26:31] But I don't really know you.
[00:26:32] So.
[00:26:33] You're just a customer to me at this point.
[00:26:35] Yeah.
[00:26:35] Um.
[00:26:36] So.
[00:26:36] I made the paddle.
[00:26:37] You know.
[00:26:37] Exchange.
[00:26:38] Got it.
[00:26:39] Cool.
[00:26:40] Then I would say maybe.
[00:26:42] A couple years after that.
[00:26:44] I saw him again at his job.
[00:26:46] I was like.
[00:26:47] You look so familiar.
[00:26:49] He was like.
[00:26:50] Yeah.
[00:26:50] He used to be my tutor.
[00:26:51] I'm like.
[00:26:51] Oh yeah.
[00:26:52] Yeah.
[00:26:54] Again.
[00:26:55] Not thinking anything of it.
[00:26:58] Um.
[00:26:59] And then.
[00:26:59] A few years after that.
[00:27:01] He.
[00:27:02] Slayed in my DM.
[00:27:04] The.
[00:27:04] The millennial love story.
[00:27:07] Wow.
[00:27:08] Wow.
[00:27:09] Um.
[00:27:10] Yep.
[00:27:11] That's.
[00:27:11] We went out to brunch one day.
[00:27:13] And.
[00:27:13] Here we are.
[00:27:14] Two kids.
[00:27:17] Look.
[00:27:18] Now you said two kids later.
[00:27:20] You have two girls.
[00:27:21] And y'all.
[00:27:21] Y'all gonna try for a boy.
[00:27:23] You.
[00:27:23] You.
[00:27:24] Uh.
[00:27:25] No.
[00:27:25] No.
[00:27:26] I'm done.
[00:27:27] I'm done.
[00:27:28] Nope.
[00:27:28] I'm.
[00:27:28] Mm.
[00:27:29] Mm.
[00:27:29] I get it.
[00:27:30] I'm cool.
[00:27:32] Mm.
[00:27:33] I'm good.
[00:27:34] Get it.
[00:27:35] And truth be told.
[00:27:36] With two girls.
[00:27:38] That's a good choice.
[00:27:39] That's a good choice.
[00:27:40] Yeah.
[00:27:41] Right.
[00:27:42] Start.
[00:27:43] Start counting up.
[00:27:44] Like.
[00:27:44] Okay.
[00:27:45] Everybody need their nails done.
[00:27:46] It's gonna get real expensive.
[00:27:48] When they think they just.
[00:27:48] Hold on now.
[00:27:50] Right.
[00:27:50] Start saving now.
[00:27:51] This next time.
[00:27:52] Start adding up.
[00:27:53] Real quick.
[00:27:55] Either that or.
[00:27:56] Oh my goodness.
[00:27:56] Get somebody to teach them how to do it.
[00:27:59] Look.
[00:28:00] At this point.
[00:28:00] Cause I'm like.
[00:28:01] Okay.
[00:28:01] We saving money.
[00:28:02] Cause I'll do the hair.
[00:28:04] But.
[00:28:04] The nails.
[00:28:05] Yeah.
[00:28:05] So.
[00:28:05] We gotta get somebody on payroll.
[00:28:08] And then.
[00:28:09] You know.
[00:28:09] You get an outfit.
[00:28:10] You have to have shoes.
[00:28:11] To go with the outfit.
[00:28:12] That was.
[00:28:13] That was like a.
[00:28:14] Uh.
[00:28:14] Wake up call for us.
[00:28:16] Cause we had our son first.
[00:28:18] You get a pair of sneakers.
[00:28:20] Pair of nice dress shoes.
[00:28:21] Good to go.
[00:28:23] Good.
[00:28:24] Here.
[00:28:25] We're good to go.
[00:28:25] We had my daughter.
[00:28:27] You gotta get sandals.
[00:28:29] Sneakers.
[00:28:30] You gotta get.
[00:28:31] You gotta get the bow.
[00:28:32] You gotta get.
[00:28:33] Hey.
[00:28:33] You gotta do hair.
[00:28:34] Hair and a little purse.
[00:28:35] I thought.
[00:28:36] I thought.
[00:28:38] That doing hair was gonna be our bonding time.
[00:28:41] I had to stop doing that real quick.
[00:28:43] Cause I was starting not to like that tiny human.
[00:28:46] Uh.
[00:28:47] What's wrong with you?
[00:28:49] Really?
[00:28:50] It was love.
[00:28:51] How many ragged ass ponytails I did.
[00:28:54] I had to do it.
[00:28:56] Ooh.
[00:28:57] We.
[00:28:58] Good.
[00:28:59] I had some raggedy ponytails.
[00:29:01] You know.
[00:29:01] The kind that were poofed up on people.
[00:29:03] Like.
[00:29:03] Cause I didn't really know what I was doing.
[00:29:05] But I tried.
[00:29:06] That's okay.
[00:29:07] You tried.
[00:29:07] You tried.
[00:29:09] And I will be the first one to tell you.
[00:29:12] Uh.
[00:29:13] When it came to things like that.
[00:29:15] I had to learn.
[00:29:17] Very quickly.
[00:29:19] Look.
[00:29:19] Either I want it done my way.
[00:29:21] So I have to do it.
[00:29:23] I let him do it.
[00:29:25] And that lessens my load.
[00:29:27] Uh.
[00:29:27] So the way that I folded towels.
[00:29:31] Uh.
[00:29:31] Well no.
[00:29:32] You.
[00:29:33] Just make sure.
[00:29:33] Just make sure.
[00:29:34] Just make sure.
[00:29:35] When they have picture day.
[00:29:36] That you do it.
[00:29:37] Yeah.
[00:29:38] Right.
[00:29:39] That way.
[00:29:40] Oh look.
[00:29:41] I ain't know what I'm saying.
[00:29:42] Oh.
[00:29:43] I've gotten hair down to science now.
[00:29:45] I've been braiding her hair about a year.
[00:29:47] Now I know.
[00:29:48] I need two snacks ready.
[00:29:49] I need a show.
[00:29:50] A favorite show.
[00:29:52] Three pouches.
[00:29:53] There you go.
[00:29:54] Hey.
[00:29:54] And we.
[00:29:54] We sat for a good hour and a half.
[00:29:57] There you go.
[00:29:57] You can do it in the morning.
[00:29:59] Boom.
[00:29:59] We good.
[00:30:00] Yes.
[00:30:00] Be like okay husband.
[00:30:02] You be on standby.
[00:30:03] You hold other baby down.
[00:30:05] Y'all go outside.
[00:30:06] Y'all play.
[00:30:07] Y'all do something.
[00:30:07] It's really a tag team in this house.
[00:30:10] Yes.
[00:30:11] Because somebody always got to have at least one kid.
[00:30:13] Yes.
[00:30:14] Yeah.
[00:30:14] I love that.
[00:30:15] And that's a testament to that relationship and that bond.
[00:30:19] Because it is a team.
[00:30:21] It's a team.
[00:30:22] And we see so much about relationships and the roles.
[00:30:28] And I come home and she hasn't done this.
[00:30:32] Or I'm expecting him to do.
[00:30:35] She comes home.
[00:30:36] He come home and he just put his boots on the floor and don't do that.
[00:30:40] Don't get the kids.
[00:30:42] And then he's expecting to play his video game all night.
[00:30:45] And I'm like.
[00:30:46] Bro, you got to step on that.
[00:30:47] Hold on now.
[00:30:47] Right.
[00:30:48] Right.
[00:30:48] This is a joint.
[00:30:50] You complained about.
[00:30:51] You complained about you ain't getting on.
[00:30:53] But you ain't stepping on your game.
[00:30:54] Right.
[00:30:55] And he's getting down and attend to her, help her with the kids, get them in bed early.
[00:31:02] Y'all might be able to sluggle a little bit.
[00:31:03] But you know.
[00:31:06] So I'm glad your husband is on point with that.
[00:31:08] It is a team.
[00:31:09] Oh, yeah.
[00:31:10] And it is.
[00:31:11] Oh, yeah.
[00:31:12] At some point, those babies are going to grow up.
[00:31:18] They are going to dislike you.
[00:31:20] Then they're going to like you again.
[00:31:22] Yeah.
[00:31:22] And then they're going to go off on their own.
[00:31:24] They turn on you real quick.
[00:31:25] They do.
[00:31:28] They're going to go off on their own.
[00:31:30] And it'll be the two of you.
[00:31:31] And as long as you maintain that idea of we're a team, it makes it easy once the girls are gone.
[00:31:40] You have more in common than those girls.
[00:31:43] So that's good to hear that y'all have that solid foundation there.
[00:31:49] Definitely.
[00:31:50] Because, you know, you're going to have this.
[00:31:52] You know, it's wonderful to be able to go in the room and be like, baby, I can't stand a thing.
[00:32:00] Don't be yours.
[00:32:01] I can't stand a thing.
[00:32:02] You know what I'm saying?
[00:32:03] Not now it's your thought.
[00:32:05] But you're not at all.
[00:32:06] I'll tell you.
[00:32:07] Let me tell you what that joke happened the other day.
[00:32:10] Tell you about your check.
[00:32:11] I don't know how y'all are going to say.
[00:32:13] You know what I'm saying?
[00:32:14] I love it.
[00:32:15] We created two wonderful humans.
[00:32:17] They are awesome.
[00:32:19] But sometimes I have to look at him and think, I don't think we were supposed to be procreating.
[00:32:25] Because they don't think this is like that.
[00:32:28] It's very related somewhere.
[00:32:30] I told him, you need to do Ancestry of 23andMe so we can find out.
[00:32:35] Because I don't think we were supposed to be having kids.
[00:32:38] Look, I tell my husband all the time, like, these people still ain't come get their kids.
[00:32:43] They drop their kids off here.
[00:32:45] They ain't come get them yet.
[00:32:49] We are so childish sometimes.
[00:32:51] We the adults of the house.
[00:32:54] Somebody need to call the adults home.
[00:32:56] Because it can't be us.
[00:32:58] Remember that day at the hospital?
[00:33:00] They was like, all right, y'all getting ready to go home?
[00:33:03] Yep.
[00:33:03] You sending them home with us?
[00:33:05] Right?
[00:33:06] We did.
[00:33:07] Y'all know what we're doing?
[00:33:08] We got in the car and I looked at him.
[00:33:11] They letting us take him for real.
[00:33:13] It's real.
[00:33:14] They not coming with us?
[00:33:15] We don't want a nurse to go home?
[00:33:17] Right.
[00:33:18] And to this day, I'm like, we are, in fact, I turned 50 this past June.
[00:33:28] And so there are moments throughout the day, random days, that I'll look at him and go, I'm 50.
[00:33:36] Or I'll look at him and go, we've been together for 27 years.
[00:33:43] And it's-
[00:33:43] Longer than you've been alive.
[00:33:45] Not me.
[00:33:46] It still just blows my mind that we're out here masquerading as full-grown adults.
[00:33:57] We all friends.
[00:33:59] We all know what the hell they're doing.
[00:34:01] We all know what the hell they're doing.
[00:34:04] That right there.
[00:34:05] I just-
[00:34:07] Sometimes I'm like, you know what?
[00:34:09] I just don't think this is what it was supposed to be.
[00:34:13] But then there are other times, like you said, there are other times when I sit back and I'm like, you know what?
[00:34:18] This is beautiful.
[00:34:20] Yeah.
[00:34:21] And thankfully, those times outweigh the other ones.
[00:34:25] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:34:25] But sometimes-
[00:34:26] Oh, yeah.
[00:34:27] There was a song that came out a while back, Earth is Ghetto.
[00:34:31] Sometimes I feel that within my spirit and I'm like, I really don't know if this is where it was supposed to go.
[00:34:39] So-
[00:34:39] You touched on something.
[00:34:41] You said how nobody knows what they're doing.
[00:34:44] And honestly, like that has been probably the best part about parenting that I don't know what I'm doing.
[00:34:51] And I'm okay with not knowing because I ain't never had a two-year-old.
[00:34:56] This is my first time doing this.
[00:34:58] Exactly.
[00:34:58] I ain't never had a two-year-old and an infant at the same time.
[00:35:02] Look.
[00:35:03] So I don't know what I'm doing.
[00:35:04] What do you think?
[00:35:06] So-
[00:35:07] That's how backwards the world is.
[00:35:09] You know, they-
[00:35:10] Well, you're such and such as a trained professional and this person is a trained professional.
[00:35:16] It don't matter how much training that you think you got.
[00:35:19] You may not be sitting in school for all the years.
[00:35:22] You got all that training.
[00:35:23] When you got on that dang job, you didn't use half of that stuff.
[00:35:28] Some of that stuff you got from your upbringing, home, you know, dealing with other people, you know, so.
[00:35:35] And I'll be the first.
[00:35:36] Like, with our son.
[00:35:40] And he holds it against us a lot.
[00:35:43] But I've had to-
[00:35:44] I mean, since as long as he could understand, I've had to explain to him, baby, we became parents when we had you.
[00:35:54] This is all new to us.
[00:35:55] I'm sorry, this didn't turn out the way that we thought it would.
[00:36:00] But as adults, we had to come together and make a decision.
[00:36:05] And so even now, you know, there are things that we talk about with them.
[00:36:11] And I've never had a problem apologizing to them if they've done something wrong or whatnot.
[00:36:17] Because we're learning.
[00:36:20] And so when he looks at differences between how we did things with him and then with his sister.
[00:36:28] And then we adopted two children.
[00:36:30] So when we do things differently, he says that we're treating them better or that we're showing favoritism.
[00:36:36] Like, no, baby.
[00:36:37] We are learning.
[00:36:39] Yes.
[00:36:40] We're learning from them.
[00:36:41] Right.
[00:36:42] You are watching us improve.
[00:36:44] A little bit better.
[00:36:45] And I am so sorry that you were the guinea pig.
[00:36:47] However, we were just learning, so.
[00:36:51] And look, you got to watch them dog on family levels.
[00:36:54] You know, they're going to come to you and try to give you advice.
[00:36:57] But they older than you, just look at their kids and be like.
[00:37:01] Oh, come on.
[00:37:02] Look, I don't need no parents in reverse from you, honey.
[00:37:04] Because I see how young kids are.
[00:37:06] You can't listen to them.
[00:37:07] You can't listen to them, mama.
[00:37:08] Because you can't listen to them, mama.
[00:37:09] Uh-uh.
[00:37:10] You can't listen to them.
[00:37:12] Like, I'll listen.
[00:37:14] I'm not implementing none of that.
[00:37:16] Okay?
[00:37:17] Because I'm going to sit through.
[00:37:20] I'm going to sit through.
[00:37:23] Thank you so much, Ms. Tati, for joining us on the Beyond I Do podcast.
[00:37:29] We so appreciate you.
[00:37:31] We have enjoyed meeting you and learning about precise peace coordination.
[00:37:36] We will make sure to link our video with our unboxing to this episode.
[00:37:46] For those listeners who would like to learn more about precise peace, where can they find you?
[00:37:53] They can find me at precise peace coordination.com.
[00:37:58] I'm on Instagram under precise peace.
[00:38:01] Um, uh, also am doing a, um, kind of another Instagram link to precise peace, but it's more about being a mom and dedicating time to me again.
[00:38:13] So, that is the me time mama on Instagram.
[00:38:18] Um, I think that's all of my handles right now.
[00:38:22] And I love that.
[00:38:24] I love that you're doing that.
[00:38:25] I love that, that young moms, new moms can come and see it's not just me.
[00:38:32] Um, they can understand I'm not alone in this.
[00:38:35] There's someone who understands.
[00:38:37] So, we appreciate that.
[00:38:39] You don't have to, uh, like as far as you and your husband, um, date nights, forget all that date night stuff.
[00:38:46] Just get in the car.
[00:38:49] Sorry.
[00:38:49] I just get a babysitter sometimes and go to the grocery store together.
[00:38:54] Go to Walmart and walk around with the children.
[00:38:56] That's a hell of a date.
[00:38:58] Right?
[00:38:59] You're not wrong.
[00:39:00] Yeah.
[00:39:01] Sometimes we do.
[00:39:02] Look at these babies.
[00:39:03] Look, we just need to go to the store by ourself.
[00:39:06] Okay.
[00:39:07] Cause that, that right there is self-care.
[00:39:09] Not, not having a, you know, manage two little ones while grocery shopping.
[00:39:13] You actually can get everything you wanted to do.
[00:39:15] Right.
[00:39:16] That's the thing.
[00:39:17] Nobody asks me, but mama, can I get this?
[00:39:21] That's the thing.
[00:39:22] People talk about date nights and this, that, and the other.
[00:39:24] That adds another level of stress and planning.
[00:39:28] Yeah.
[00:39:28] Um, because I have to make arrangements for the babies.
[00:39:32] And then I got to figure out what to wear.
[00:39:34] I got to, by the time I do all of that, I am even more tired than I was before.
[00:39:39] Like you said, that child free trip to the grocery store.
[00:39:44] Oh yes.
[00:39:45] That is unmatched.
[00:39:53] Thanks for joining us on this episode of the Beyond I Do podcast.
[00:39:58] Please make sure to like this episode and also subscribe to our podcast.
[00:40:03] You can also find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube at the Beyond I Do podcast.
[00:40:09] And until next time, we will holler at y'all.
[00:40:14] Bye.