In this inspiring episode, we’re joined by Stephanie, CEO of LiveWire Coaching & Consulting and a seasoned success coach and self-care mentor for introverts. With over 30 years of experience across diverse industries, Stephanie shares her passion for empowering "quiet achievers" to find financial independence, success, and purpose on their terms. From navigating marriage and communication to balancing entrepreneurship, Stephanie provides valuable insights for introverts and advocates for embracing one's unique strengths. Don’t miss this conversation filled with wisdom and encouragement!
[00:00:03] After over 25 years of marriage, we've learned that successful couples have great friendships, put each other first, and focus on light just as much as love. We believe marriage should be fun and easy.
[00:00:15] Our goal is to share our journey with the hopes of helping others build strong, happy relationships. Join us as we continue to create our lives beyond I do.
[00:00:33] We are not marriage counselors, nor are we mental health professionals. We're just simply sharing y'all how we navigate through our marriage. Now, on with the show.
[00:00:55] Welcome back to the Beyond I Do podcast. On this episode, we have Ms. Stephanie Oden joining us.
[00:01:02] She is the CEO of LiveWire Coaching and Consulting, and we're so excited to have her here with us. So welcome, Stephanie.
[00:01:11] Thank you. Thank you. I'm really thrilled to be here and share with both of you.
[00:01:18] So we, of course, we have our meet and greet. We get to know you and a little bit about you.
[00:01:23] But now we want to introduce you to the listener. So if you could tell us a little bit about yourself, about what it is that you do and how you got to that point.
[00:01:33] Excellent. I know there's many people out there who have been introverts all their life and they've sat back and said, well, I'm shy.
[00:01:43] I'm timid. Or they've allowed people to put them in a box and then they've kept themselves in a box.
[00:01:48] And one of the things that I do, it is my gift, my passion, my heart, is I am the champion for the quiet achievers.
[00:01:58] I am the champion for them. So the thing that I do is I hold a space for them until they're able to see themselves through the eyes that I see them through.
[00:02:09] Right.
[00:02:10] Because they're already doing it. They're already achieving, but something's holding them back.
[00:02:14] Right.
[00:02:15] So that's what I do as a coach, a consultant and digital mentor.
[00:02:20] So you got to that point of being that champion because you yourself.
[00:02:28] Yeah.
[00:02:29] So exactly. You know, the before story is I wasn't very confident.
[00:02:37] Everybody around me always seemed to be just out there and bold.
[00:02:41] And I felt like something was wrong with me because I wasn't like that.
[00:02:47] Everybody, again, from a little kid, it seemed like everybody's playing with all the other kids.
[00:02:52] And I really didn't want to have anything to do with the other kids.
[00:02:55] Yes, yes.
[00:02:57] I understand.
[00:02:58] And again, thought that there's something wrong with me.
[00:03:01] So as I transitioned through life, I'm like, OK, I need to fix me because there's something wrong.
[00:03:05] So I went down that path of trying to fix me.
[00:03:09] And.
[00:03:11] But I was still out there.
[00:03:13] I was doing stuff that nobody else was doing.
[00:03:14] Right.
[00:03:15] I was stamp collecting and extemporaneous speaking, all this stuff that introverts wouldn't normally do.
[00:03:22] And I really didn't embrace it, embrace it until my working years.
[00:03:28] Mm hmm.
[00:03:29] I'm like, oh, I kind of like me.
[00:03:32] I don't know what this me thing is.
[00:03:34] Right.
[00:03:34] I kind of like her.
[00:03:36] And really started peeling back the layers of lack of confidence, limiting beliefs to stand in my strength and my power.
[00:03:46] Right.
[00:03:46] I think that it's important to note that because I was that kid, I'd rather be I'd rather have my my head in a book than watching TV when I was younger.
[00:03:59] And I was I was unique.
[00:04:03] I won't say weird.
[00:04:04] I was I was unique.
[00:04:05] I had, you know, interest interest that others didn't necessarily have.
[00:04:09] I didn't need a lot of friends.
[00:04:11] I was OK with one or two good friends or one or two companions.
[00:04:18] So one thing with teaching is when I have parents that come in and they're so concerned and I'm like, you know, we're just different.
[00:04:27] People are different.
[00:04:29] So I like that, you know, you recognized those things early on and now you've used that as your that's your superpower now.
[00:04:38] It is.
[00:04:39] It is.
[00:04:39] And I am very thankful because even before I knew who I was, I had a teacher that recognized the differences in personalities.
[00:04:48] And the reward for me was to get my work done quickly so I could go sit in the red bathtub.
[00:04:56] OK, we had a big red bathtub in the room.
[00:05:00] And do you know, that's like the introverts dream to be able to sit in the middle of the whole classes doing things.
[00:05:07] And I'm able to sit in my little world in this red bathtub.
[00:05:10] I did my best work, my A work because I was getting in that tub.
[00:05:14] Right.
[00:05:14] OK, so that was you.
[00:05:16] That was you.
[00:05:18] This introvert.
[00:05:20] Right.
[00:05:20] Right.
[00:05:21] Like, dang, she already done.
[00:05:23] I'm going to fail.
[00:05:24] You and I are sitting here vibing and he's like, what?
[00:05:29] That was Stephanie and Margaret fighting for the damn red.
[00:05:33] Right, right.
[00:05:34] I'm going to get that one lady.
[00:05:35] At some point I was, I'm going to get there.
[00:05:38] But then you would see you would get there and invite people over and mess up the whole vibe.
[00:05:47] You know, with the pandemic, of course, the pandemic was horrible with the loss of life and things like that.
[00:05:54] But a lot of things when the fact that I could go online and and order yarn at Michael's and then go and they're going to bring it to like that was heaven.
[00:06:05] Food, yarn, whatever.
[00:06:08] It was like the sky was the limit for me.
[00:06:10] And so that was that time to rejuvenate and to I mean, it was that was our time.
[00:06:17] That was our time to shine.
[00:06:21] Exactly.
[00:06:21] We really did have to.
[00:06:23] I think I had to have a lot of healing conversations with extroverts who were freaking out in that time.
[00:06:30] I'm like, it'll be OK.
[00:06:32] We can we can get through this.
[00:06:35] I promise it'll be OK.
[00:06:37] Now, Stephanie, I was grew up the youngest of 10.
[00:06:42] So, you know, at any given time, there would be anywhere from four to five siblings in the house.
[00:06:53] Including my parents.
[00:06:54] So, you know, I tried to.
[00:06:57] In some ways, I introverted, but I had to kind of.
[00:07:03] Extrovert myself sometimes because, you know, I had to fight for my voice.
[00:07:09] And oh, wow, that's really that's really, really good.
[00:07:12] That's really good because what you said is so spot on, even as an introvert.
[00:07:17] You know, once you recognize that it's a strength, you realize that there are times that you need to extrovert.
[00:07:24] Right.
[00:07:25] So that your your platform, your voice, your gift to the world can be heard.
[00:07:32] That was really good.
[00:07:33] That was good.
[00:07:35] Real good.
[00:07:35] I kind of consider myself both.
[00:07:39] You think?
[00:07:40] Not at all.
[00:07:42] I have my moments where I can turn in.
[00:07:45] Right.
[00:07:45] And, you know.
[00:07:46] Right.
[00:07:47] I think that he was the youngest.
[00:07:49] He was they would beat on me and pick on him.
[00:07:51] 60, 40.
[00:07:53] He knew to be quiet.
[00:07:55] 60, 40.
[00:07:56] When certain people keep in the room, he knew to be quiet.
[00:07:59] But he went in social settings.
[00:08:03] He thrives.
[00:08:05] Me.
[00:08:06] I'm good.
[00:08:07] And then when it's time to go, it's time to go.
[00:08:10] And then I need recharging afterwards.
[00:08:13] So he he's.
[00:08:14] It was it was a struggle for me because I'm like checking on her like, you're all right.
[00:08:18] You're all right.
[00:08:19] You're all right.
[00:08:20] Walk away.
[00:08:21] Go talk to somebody else.
[00:08:23] Look over there.
[00:08:23] She's sitting up there in the corner.
[00:08:25] You're all right.
[00:08:25] You're all right.
[00:08:26] On my phone playing a word game.
[00:08:31] Or with the Kindle app reading a book.
[00:08:35] People would be like, she all right?
[00:08:37] Yeah, she all right.
[00:08:38] She in our world.
[00:08:41] So within the workplace, when when clients come to you, because we're talking about things within a personal setting.
[00:08:49] And and I know I have to go out there.
[00:08:53] I have to go to work and I have to put all of that aside when it comes time.
[00:08:57] So when it comes to that professional setting and your clients come to you and these things are affecting them, how do you help them so that in that professional setting is not holding them back in their position?
[00:09:11] Well, one of the things that I do first is we have to separate a limiting belief from our personality.
[00:09:20] And sometimes as an introvert, they can be collapsed.
[00:09:25] And we have to be able to separate those because there's well, I'm not able to do this.
[00:09:31] I'm shy.
[00:09:31] I'm I'm timid.
[00:09:33] I'm I'm all of these things.
[00:09:34] Are you really?
[00:09:36] OK.
[00:09:37] And so now we look for evidence of what what are the strengths that you bring?
[00:09:42] And so I really focus on what are your strengths?
[00:09:47] That's that's good.
[00:09:49] That's as a as a teacher, I'm looking at kids and I'm working with your strengths.
[00:09:54] To help you strengthen that weakness.
[00:09:56] So we look at the strengths.
[00:09:58] And then when I tell you that sounds wonderful, but I'm afraid.
[00:10:05] And we started we start at the very beginning.
[00:10:07] We start with the tell me tell me what you're thinking.
[00:10:11] Tell me what are some situations that you are going through.
[00:10:14] And we talk through those situations.
[00:10:17] One of the amazing characteristics of being an introvert is usually we have a lot of conversations
[00:10:23] in our head of all the scenarios, like all of them times two.
[00:10:30] Yes.
[00:10:30] And so what I do is like, well, let's talk about them.
[00:10:33] What are some of the possibilities possibilities that you've considered?
[00:10:37] Mm hmm.
[00:10:38] OK.
[00:10:39] What have you attempted before?
[00:10:41] What didn't work?
[00:10:42] What do you think worked well?
[00:10:45] Mm hmm.
[00:10:45] You know, and really get in touch with that.
[00:10:49] Yeah, it's fear.
[00:10:50] Yes, I'm scared because for so long.
[00:10:54] I've been I don't know who I am right now.
[00:10:57] Right.
[00:10:57] Because I know I'm not them.
[00:10:59] But I let them know it's OK to be you.
[00:11:02] Right.
[00:11:02] Wherever you are.
[00:11:04] Right.
[00:11:04] So your clients, they have you.
[00:11:10] How did you transition through these phases to get to where you are now?
[00:11:17] I went through Hot Mess Express.
[00:11:21] And I stopped by old crap.
[00:11:26] And I visit sometimes to see how it's going.
[00:11:31] You've all been there.
[00:11:33] See how it's going.
[00:11:34] Let's see how that's going.
[00:11:38] And I realized there was a point in my life where I realized it was some things that I was not present.
[00:11:46] That I was relying too much on being an introvert.
[00:11:49] And I wasn't.
[00:11:51] I was using it to not be active in life.
[00:11:54] Right.
[00:11:54] That's that's that's not cool.
[00:11:56] Right.
[00:11:57] Right.
[00:11:57] And I got a coach.
[00:11:59] I mean, I work with a coach that helped me talk through those those phases.
[00:12:07] So just out of curiosity, do you have siblings?
[00:12:11] I have siblings and I'm the oldest.
[00:12:14] OK.
[00:12:15] OK.
[00:12:16] OK.
[00:12:16] Which is kind of opposite.
[00:12:17] Right.
[00:12:17] You think this would be more outspoken.
[00:12:20] And right.
[00:12:20] But yeah, I'm definitely the oldest.
[00:12:24] I'm bossy.
[00:12:26] OK.
[00:12:26] That's so you.
[00:12:27] You would people yourself out with making sure they're in line and then you have to go and kind of recharge.
[00:12:33] Right.
[00:12:34] Right.
[00:12:35] Right.
[00:12:36] Yeah.
[00:12:36] I remember.
[00:12:39] I remember.
[00:12:40] I remember.
[00:12:40] Flashbacks.
[00:12:42] I remember.
[00:12:44] Yep.
[00:12:45] Yep.
[00:12:46] Yep.
[00:12:47] So in terms of in terms.
[00:12:50] So we've talked about work.
[00:12:51] We've talked about growing up.
[00:12:52] So in terms of your personal life.
[00:12:56] So we are opposites when it comes to being in social settings.
[00:13:01] He thrives.
[00:13:03] I get people doubt.
[00:13:05] And we find balance.
[00:13:08] And we've learned that, you know, other people see it and they think something's wrong with me.
[00:13:13] And he's like, no, she's she's good.
[00:13:15] So with you in terms of your your personal life, has it how has it impacted your personal life and your relationships with your siblings and your friends and your spouse?
[00:13:27] My spouse.
[00:13:28] He is the opposite of me.
[00:13:31] He thrives on people and stranger danger.
[00:13:35] I'm like, would you stop talking to people?
[00:13:37] That's dangerous.
[00:13:38] Stranger danger.
[00:13:39] Right.
[00:13:41] And he'll try to, like, do the head nod up or down.
[00:13:44] Like, they're still talking to them.
[00:13:45] Stop.
[00:13:46] It's a stranger.
[00:13:49] But there was one occasion because one of the things I, I don't know, I have a gift.
[00:13:54] And I think it's a good gift that I like to connect people.
[00:14:01] So even though I'm looking for the escape entrance, I like meeting people to see who I can connect up and find out what they have in common.
[00:14:11] And then I get them together.
[00:14:13] And that takes the pressure off of me.
[00:14:16] And so it's a little hack for networking.
[00:14:18] Right.
[00:14:19] Find people.
[00:14:20] It's like that match game.
[00:14:21] Find the people that like being together, putting together.
[00:14:23] And you could just sit there and be a fly on the wall.
[00:14:26] Right.
[00:14:26] Well, he we were going to an event and he didn't know anybody.
[00:14:31] So I just started meeting people that were also going to the event and introduce him to all those people.
[00:14:38] Oh, he was in heaven.
[00:14:40] And he was like, this is great.
[00:14:42] This is amazing.
[00:14:44] We went to the event.
[00:14:45] I had me in a little chair.
[00:14:46] I'm just sitting down, chilling.
[00:14:48] He was happy.
[00:14:49] I was happy.
[00:14:50] There you go.
[00:14:51] There you go.
[00:14:52] But it took time.
[00:14:53] And we've been married, oh my, 30 plus years.
[00:14:57] I think we're going on 32.
[00:14:58] I think.
[00:14:59] I lose count.
[00:15:01] Congratulations.
[00:15:02] Awesome.
[00:15:04] And I think he's had to adjust to me as well because he couldn't understand.
[00:15:09] Why don't you want to go see people?
[00:15:11] Mm hmm.
[00:15:13] And I'm like, why do you have to see people?
[00:15:15] Right.
[00:15:16] You know?
[00:15:17] So we've learned and we laugh about it now.
[00:15:20] Like, I just need a minute.
[00:15:22] Like, right.
[00:15:23] Give me.
[00:15:24] You entertain the people and I will be back soon to entertain with you.
[00:15:30] And we've gone through that.
[00:15:32] And I think now people are, I mean, people are used to.
[00:15:37] Well, my family, they know, they know I act funny anyway.
[00:15:41] I'm going to disappear.
[00:15:43] That's what people say.
[00:15:44] You act funny.
[00:15:45] No, I'm just tired.
[00:15:46] I'm peopled out.
[00:15:47] Yeah.
[00:15:47] But, and they know that he's the people person and he's smiling and he's, and it's funny.
[00:15:55] Our kids, they have that, but they also have a little bit of me.
[00:16:00] And so they're up.
[00:16:02] But when they're done, they're done.
[00:16:04] And, but thankfully, thankfully they have enough of him to balance it out.
[00:16:09] My son is more like me.
[00:16:13] My son is more like me.
[00:16:14] He, he is able to connect people very well, but then he, he needs that time to himself.
[00:16:21] My daughter is the opposite in that she gets energized by people, but then she likes space
[00:16:31] to herself too.
[00:16:32] Yep.
[00:16:32] Yep.
[00:16:33] That's exactly my, my son.
[00:16:36] He, when he's on, he's on and he has a big personality.
[00:16:41] When he's done, he's done.
[00:16:44] That's it.
[00:16:46] Me and him will sit in a corner together, leaning on each other, leaning on each other together.
[00:16:52] So that's the same dynamic that we have.
[00:16:55] Yeah.
[00:16:55] I always try to like, if we go somewhere, it's got to the point now she'll.
[00:17:02] Attract herself to at least one person.
[00:17:06] And they'll sit and talk all night.
[00:17:07] And I'm good.
[00:17:08] I don't even, I don't even have to.
[00:17:10] I just look over there.
[00:17:11] They still talking.
[00:17:12] I'll have to check on her.
[00:17:16] Like I'm a puppy.
[00:17:19] I sit over here with somebody.
[00:17:23] She's good.
[00:17:24] I check for the cue.
[00:17:26] Now.
[00:17:27] The cue for it's time to go.
[00:17:29] Do you know what Buc-ee's is?
[00:17:31] Oh, I love me some Buc-ee's.
[00:17:32] Oh my goodness.
[00:17:33] Look, look.
[00:17:34] We had our first trip to Buc-ee's.
[00:17:36] Oh my gosh.
[00:17:38] December?
[00:17:38] Yeah.
[00:17:39] December.
[00:17:39] Yep.
[00:17:40] He had to stand me in a corner with the basket and he would go get stuff.
[00:17:46] When we planned, when we, at the end of the year, I always get vacation.
[00:17:52] So we went to, we ended up going to Macon.
[00:17:56] And so I was just like looking around.
[00:17:58] What are we going to do?
[00:18:00] We was there for a couple of days.
[00:18:01] I was like, baby, but you got a Buc-ee's like a couple of minutes, you know, miles from
[00:18:06] here, like 20 miles or something like that.
[00:18:08] I wasn't ready.
[00:18:09] I said, we got to go.
[00:18:10] She wasn't ready.
[00:18:11] I wasn't ready.
[00:18:12] She wasn't ready.
[00:18:13] I was going to talk about you got to start by Buc-ee's.
[00:18:14] I wasn't ready.
[00:18:15] Man, we went in that bad boy there.
[00:18:18] And it was.
[00:18:19] I was not.
[00:18:20] It was not.
[00:18:22] People.
[00:18:23] It's puppies.
[00:18:25] It's, it was just so much.
[00:18:27] And.
[00:18:29] Like for a gas station.
[00:18:31] I'm like.
[00:18:32] I was, I was holding him.
[00:18:35] And.
[00:18:36] I get that.
[00:18:37] We made a video on our YouTube channel.
[00:18:40] I literally had to go and.
[00:18:43] She's standing in one spot with a basket.
[00:18:46] Oh, I love that.
[00:18:47] Just because, you know.
[00:18:49] I love that.
[00:18:50] We're yelling about.
[00:18:52] Sauce and.
[00:18:52] All right.
[00:18:52] I got barbecue up.
[00:18:57] I wasn't ready.
[00:18:58] And so.
[00:18:59] You forgot to put your bubble on.
[00:19:01] You forgot to put your bubble on.
[00:19:03] That's what happened.
[00:19:05] That's what happened.
[00:19:05] I didn't realize.
[00:19:06] If you had put your bubble on.
[00:19:08] Then it would have just been you and Bucky.
[00:19:10] So next time you go.
[00:19:11] You just.
[00:19:12] Put your bubble on.
[00:19:14] Just keep your eye focused on Bucky.
[00:19:17] And you'll be good.
[00:19:18] Well, you know what to prepare for now.
[00:19:21] So if we ever go.
[00:19:22] I wasn't.
[00:19:22] You know.
[00:19:23] Okay.
[00:19:24] Like it's going to be the crowd.
[00:19:26] It's going to be the crowd.
[00:19:26] I wasn't ready.
[00:19:27] Yeah.
[00:19:27] I saw kids walking around with Bucky sweatshirts on.
[00:19:31] And I'd sweat a little bit or jump a little bit.
[00:19:35] The food was wonderful.
[00:19:37] But I wasn't ready for all that.
[00:19:40] That was not what I was expecting.
[00:19:43] It is definitely the ultimate extrovert experience.
[00:19:49] Yes.
[00:19:49] Right.
[00:19:50] Right.
[00:19:50] It was geared for people that.
[00:19:54] Yes.
[00:19:55] Yes.
[00:19:56] That absolutely.
[00:19:58] That the extrovert experience.
[00:20:00] Because it was.
[00:20:01] It was not my thing.
[00:20:03] The food was wonderful.
[00:20:05] Snacks were great.
[00:20:06] It just wasn't my thing.
[00:20:08] Now you know what to expect.
[00:20:10] Right.
[00:20:10] So now you're able to go in.
[00:20:14] You put on.
[00:20:15] I mean.
[00:20:16] Just.
[00:20:17] I put on a little.
[00:20:18] Little bubble.
[00:20:20] And I go into my own little world.
[00:20:22] And I block out all the other.
[00:20:24] Like I literally block out all the other people.
[00:20:26] Like I.
[00:20:27] Like this is my world.
[00:20:29] And you're not invited in.
[00:20:31] And I just go in.
[00:20:33] And do my thing.
[00:20:35] So putting on your bubble.
[00:20:37] Do you use that in terms of professional life.
[00:20:41] When you have to go.
[00:20:42] And.
[00:20:43] And speak.
[00:20:44] Or when you're helping.
[00:20:46] Even with helping clients.
[00:20:47] Do you still have to put that bubble on.
[00:20:49] To.
[00:20:50] Get yourself.
[00:20:51] I don't as much.
[00:20:53] Now.
[00:20:54] Because I'm more.
[00:20:56] I guess more.
[00:20:58] More mature.
[00:20:58] More confident.
[00:20:59] Who I am.
[00:21:00] But initially.
[00:21:02] As I was evolving.
[00:21:04] And figuring out.
[00:21:04] Separating.
[00:21:05] You know.
[00:21:06] What's not true about me.
[00:21:07] About what is true for me.
[00:21:08] I would have to do that.
[00:21:10] Because I was in.
[00:21:11] An environment.
[00:21:12] Where.
[00:21:13] They expected me to be one way.
[00:21:14] And I wasn't that way.
[00:21:16] Right.
[00:21:16] Right.
[00:21:17] And.
[00:21:17] I needed to put that on.
[00:21:19] Because the.
[00:21:20] The comments.
[00:21:21] And the feedback.
[00:21:22] Wasn't always positive.
[00:21:24] Right.
[00:21:25] Things like.
[00:21:26] Well you just need to get out of your comfort zone.
[00:21:28] Here go take this class.
[00:21:29] And you'll be able to get out of your comfort zone.
[00:21:31] I'm like.
[00:21:32] No.
[00:21:33] Right.
[00:21:34] That.
[00:21:35] That's not true.
[00:21:36] And so I.
[00:21:37] At those times.
[00:21:38] I did have to.
[00:21:39] Be more protective.
[00:21:41] Of my space.
[00:21:43] And not allow that to.
[00:21:46] Diminish the self-confidence.
[00:21:48] That I had built up.
[00:21:49] Right.
[00:21:50] And.
[00:21:52] Realizing that people treat me.
[00:21:54] The way I allow them to treat me.
[00:21:57] Right.
[00:21:59] Right.
[00:21:59] Yes.
[00:22:00] Yes.
[00:22:01] Right.
[00:22:01] So now I'm bolder.
[00:22:02] And it's like.
[00:22:03] No she's not coming.
[00:22:05] Right.
[00:22:06] Right.
[00:22:07] My no is a no.
[00:22:08] Right.
[00:22:09] And that's a complete sentence.
[00:22:11] And that's a complete sentence.
[00:22:13] Thank you very much.
[00:22:14] Mm-hmm.
[00:22:15] And.
[00:22:15] And that.
[00:22:15] That comes with becoming more confident.
[00:22:18] In who I am.
[00:22:19] I'm not.
[00:22:19] Looking to fit in.
[00:22:21] Mm-hmm.
[00:22:22] I'm just.
[00:22:22] I'm looking to be me.
[00:22:24] Right.
[00:22:25] With my clients.
[00:22:27] What's really nice about working with the ones that I work with.
[00:22:30] Because I don't have to be anything.
[00:22:32] But myself.
[00:22:33] Mm-hmm.
[00:22:34] Right.
[00:22:34] Right.
[00:22:35] I can be.
[00:22:37] Completely.
[00:22:38] 100% me.
[00:22:40] And.
[00:22:40] And I love that.
[00:22:41] I love working with the clients that I work with.
[00:22:45] So.
[00:22:46] One of the.
[00:22:47] The things that we've.
[00:22:49] We've heard through.
[00:22:50] From several people that we've interviewed.
[00:22:52] And then.
[00:22:52] I know I struggle.
[00:22:54] On a personal level.
[00:22:55] And I think.
[00:22:56] The two of us.
[00:22:56] When it comes to the things we're working on.
[00:22:58] On the idea of imposter syndrome.
[00:23:02] And that.
[00:23:03] In the back of your mind.
[00:23:04] Telling you.
[00:23:07] Who do you think you are?
[00:23:08] You.
[00:23:09] You're an introvert yourself.
[00:23:10] How can you coach someone.
[00:23:12] About being an introvert.
[00:23:14] Is that.
[00:23:15] Has that been something.
[00:23:17] That.
[00:23:17] That you've had to deal with personally.
[00:23:19] And is that something that you see with your clients?
[00:23:22] I see it more with my.
[00:23:25] My clients.
[00:23:26] In terms of.
[00:23:27] Oh I'm an introvert.
[00:23:28] I can't do that.
[00:23:30] For me.
[00:23:31] I flipped it.
[00:23:32] And I.
[00:23:33] I'm an OG introvert.
[00:23:35] I'm.
[00:23:35] I'm.
[00:23:36] I'm gangsta.
[00:23:37] I'm just a gangsta introvert.
[00:23:39] Right.
[00:23:39] And that is.
[00:23:41] That is.
[00:23:42] Who.
[00:23:43] I am.
[00:23:44] And so I don't have the imposter syndrome around.
[00:23:48] Oh I'm an introvert.
[00:23:49] I can't coach you because I am an introvert.
[00:23:52] No.
[00:23:53] I can coach you.
[00:23:54] Because I've been at each level of the.
[00:23:58] The ring of the ladder.
[00:24:00] Right.
[00:24:01] Who the heck am I to.
[00:24:03] Oh yeah.
[00:24:04] Let's do this.
[00:24:05] Right.
[00:24:06] So that gives me power to be able to coach others.
[00:24:09] Okay.
[00:24:10] Do you think that it affected you in that corporate setting.
[00:24:14] When.
[00:24:15] Your personality is not that of the expected norm.
[00:24:20] I definitely.
[00:24:22] Think that when I.
[00:24:24] One of the stories I shared in our discussion was when I used to bang on the tables.
[00:24:31] Like the all the other managers around me who.
[00:24:34] They were.
[00:24:35] They didn't look like me.
[00:24:36] Okay.
[00:24:37] Right.
[00:24:37] Right.
[00:24:38] We weren't the same gender or skin color.
[00:24:41] Right.
[00:24:41] Like none of them.
[00:24:43] And that.
[00:24:45] Iron rule of.
[00:24:47] You know.
[00:24:47] Banging on the table.
[00:24:49] And you know.
[00:24:49] Just that way of treating people very loud and out.
[00:24:53] And in my.
[00:24:54] My mind disrespectful.
[00:24:56] Right.
[00:24:56] And there was times when my voice wouldn't be heard.
[00:25:00] Because.
[00:25:01] I needed to speak through somebody else.
[00:25:04] For my idea to be taken seriously.
[00:25:07] Right.
[00:25:08] Right.
[00:25:09] And.
[00:25:10] There was a time when I was like no.
[00:25:12] This.
[00:25:13] I.
[00:25:13] This is who I am.
[00:25:15] Right.
[00:25:16] This is how I'm going to lead.
[00:25:18] But what's really important.
[00:25:20] Is.
[00:25:22] And.
[00:25:22] As introverts.
[00:25:23] I think we have a special skill.
[00:25:25] Well.
[00:25:26] I don't know.
[00:25:27] I don't know if I should share it with any extroverts in the room.
[00:25:30] They need to cover your ears.
[00:25:32] They need to cover your ears.
[00:25:34] Go ahead.
[00:25:35] We probably already know.
[00:25:36] Go ahead.
[00:25:37] Um.
[00:25:39] That there is an ability to really survey the room.
[00:25:42] Yes.
[00:25:42] And be able to read the room very well.
[00:25:45] Yeah.
[00:25:46] Yeah.
[00:25:46] And that allows us to be able to know when we need to be more bold.
[00:25:53] Right.
[00:25:54] When we need to leverage.
[00:25:56] And I don't call.
[00:25:57] Now I'm like okay let me leverage you to get my opinion out there.
[00:26:01] Right.
[00:26:01] It's still.
[00:26:03] It's going to happen.
[00:26:04] Right.
[00:26:04] But I'm going to leverage you.
[00:26:06] And it doesn't take anything away from me.
[00:26:09] Right.
[00:26:09] Yeah.
[00:26:10] Right.
[00:26:10] That definitely comes with maturity too.
[00:26:14] I don't necessarily need the accolades.
[00:26:17] I don't need.
[00:26:18] What I need is for this point to get across and for people to understand it.
[00:26:22] So if that takes another.
[00:26:24] Yes.
[00:26:25] Another mouth to speak it.
[00:26:26] Then that's fine.
[00:26:27] But that's maturity.
[00:26:29] Right.
[00:26:29] Right.
[00:26:29] Because here I am wanting to stand my ground.
[00:26:32] Right.
[00:26:32] Being who I am in that space with all these other senior executives.
[00:26:37] And it kind of pissed me off.
[00:26:39] Because I know my idea is good.
[00:26:41] Why won't you take it from me?
[00:26:43] Right.
[00:26:43] Yeah.
[00:26:44] Right.
[00:26:44] Yeah.
[00:26:45] And so that's when.
[00:26:47] So.
[00:26:48] I just decided to just do me.
[00:26:52] Yes.
[00:26:52] And once I started this.
[00:26:54] Once I decided to do that.
[00:26:56] And lead the way I knew how to lead.
[00:26:58] And really care about people.
[00:27:02] Then I was able to have it.
[00:27:04] I had a team of both.
[00:27:05] Both personality types.
[00:27:08] But I was able to lead very well.
[00:27:12] Right.
[00:27:12] Right.
[00:27:13] Right.
[00:27:13] Stepping into your strengths.
[00:27:16] Right.
[00:27:17] Yes.
[00:27:19] That's fantastic.
[00:27:20] Fantastic.
[00:27:22] Now I learned.
[00:27:23] I did know that secret.
[00:27:25] Because she shared that with me.
[00:27:31] Oh good.
[00:27:32] Good.
[00:27:32] Good.
[00:27:33] I'm glad.
[00:27:33] I'm glad that you knew that.
[00:27:35] And we don't have to take drastic measures now.
[00:27:38] There's so many skills that we do have.
[00:27:41] Of being.
[00:27:43] The quiet achiever.
[00:27:44] And I use that term.
[00:27:46] Quiet achiever.
[00:27:46] Because introvert.
[00:27:47] Can sometimes be a negative.
[00:27:50] Connotation.
[00:27:50] Even for those that are introverted.
[00:27:52] Because it's a box.
[00:27:54] Right.
[00:27:55] But quiet achiever.
[00:27:56] Yeah.
[00:27:56] We kick butt.
[00:27:58] You want to come?
[00:27:58] Because we about to have some fun.
[00:28:01] I love it.
[00:28:02] Okay.
[00:28:02] So for our listeners.
[00:28:04] Who may not know what the term is.
[00:28:06] And you've already explained it to us.
[00:28:08] What is a quiet achiever?
[00:28:12] A quiet achiever.
[00:28:13] Is the one that is introverted.
[00:28:16] But knows.
[00:28:18] That they're confident.
[00:28:20] They have goals.
[00:28:21] They are.
[00:28:24] Persistent.
[00:28:25] They're resilient.
[00:28:27] They are doing things.
[00:28:28] And making it happen.
[00:28:30] Okay.
[00:28:31] And they're just.
[00:28:32] They just aren't extroverted.
[00:28:34] Right.
[00:28:35] They just make it happen.
[00:28:36] Right.
[00:28:37] Okay.
[00:28:38] So that's like.
[00:28:40] You know.
[00:28:40] People.
[00:28:43] It makes me think about social media.
[00:28:45] Where you have the people.
[00:28:47] Who will tell.
[00:28:49] Everything that they did.
[00:28:50] All day long.
[00:28:52] Post.
[00:28:53] I got this.
[00:28:54] Went to doctor's office.
[00:28:56] Blood pressure was such and such.
[00:28:58] You know.
[00:28:59] But then you have people that.
[00:29:01] Every now and then.
[00:29:02] You might hear from them.
[00:29:03] Just like.
[00:29:03] Okay.
[00:29:04] They're over there.
[00:29:05] Quietly exceeding.
[00:29:06] That.
[00:29:07] Right.
[00:29:08] That's it.
[00:29:09] Right.
[00:29:09] They're like.
[00:29:10] Okay.
[00:29:10] You know.
[00:29:11] Their post is.
[00:29:12] I just.
[00:29:13] I know.
[00:29:13] I just finished a book.
[00:29:14] And.
[00:29:15] I got an idea for another one.
[00:29:17] I just sent it over to the publisher.
[00:29:18] And it's coming out tomorrow.
[00:29:20] That's the post.
[00:29:21] Right.
[00:29:22] Or.
[00:29:22] To the post.
[00:29:24] All the way.
[00:29:24] All the way through.
[00:29:27] To let people know each.
[00:29:29] To let them know each step.
[00:29:31] And there's a member of my.
[00:29:33] The introvert success club.
[00:29:35] She's the president.
[00:29:36] Of a company.
[00:29:38] You wouldn't even know it.
[00:29:40] Wow.
[00:29:41] She's president.
[00:29:42] And I said.
[00:29:43] When they did an article on her.
[00:29:44] I said.
[00:29:45] They should have put that P.
[00:29:46] As a capital P.
[00:29:47] Because.
[00:29:48] It's like.
[00:29:48] I am.
[00:29:49] The president.
[00:29:50] Mm-hmm.
[00:29:51] You would not know that.
[00:29:52] She's just.
[00:29:53] Making things happen.
[00:29:54] Right.
[00:29:56] Quiet achiever.
[00:29:58] Quiet achiever.
[00:29:58] So that.
[00:29:59] That.
[00:29:59] It kind of makes me think that.
[00:30:02] The loudest of the people.
[00:30:05] Are.
[00:30:06] Sometimes.
[00:30:07] The ones.
[00:30:08] I'm not going to say fail.
[00:30:09] But you know.
[00:30:10] Maybe struggle to achieve.
[00:30:12] More so than.
[00:30:13] People who are subtle.
[00:30:15] Just kind of.
[00:30:16] Take the wins.
[00:30:17] And.
[00:30:18] Just keep going.
[00:30:19] All right.
[00:30:19] I think we have to have both.
[00:30:21] Mm-hmm.
[00:30:22] I really think we have to have both.
[00:30:24] There's a.
[00:30:24] If there's a skill set.
[00:30:26] That I would take.
[00:30:27] From someone that's more extroverted.
[00:30:29] Is.
[00:30:29] Their.
[00:30:30] Their ability.
[00:30:31] To take people on the journey.
[00:30:32] With them.
[00:30:34] Mm-hmm.
[00:30:34] I like that.
[00:30:34] And they're able to do that very well.
[00:30:37] Mm-hmm.
[00:30:37] And that's something that.
[00:30:39] I'm still working on.
[00:30:41] Honestly.
[00:30:41] You know.
[00:30:42] That's.
[00:30:42] I work with my coach on that.
[00:30:43] Because I'm like.
[00:30:43] Look.
[00:30:44] I'm doing it.
[00:30:44] I did it.
[00:30:45] Right.
[00:30:46] He's like.
[00:30:46] But you need to take people on the journey.
[00:30:49] With you.
[00:30:49] Okay.
[00:30:50] But I think that's one of the things.
[00:30:52] That we can learn.
[00:30:53] From.
[00:30:54] Those that aren't like us.
[00:30:55] Is.
[00:30:56] How do we.
[00:30:57] Be able to share our story.
[00:30:59] Because people are.
[00:31:00] They are pulled in by your story.
[00:31:02] Right.
[00:31:03] And so.
[00:31:03] Finding that right blend.
[00:31:04] That works for us.
[00:31:06] Mm-hmm.
[00:31:07] So.
[00:31:08] And you've mentioned a couple of times.
[00:31:10] Your coach.
[00:31:12] That's another interesting thing.
[00:31:14] I've noticed that a lot of the individuals that we have.
[00:31:18] Interviewed that are coaches.
[00:31:20] In whatever space.
[00:31:22] They also have some type of coach.
[00:31:24] That they've.
[00:31:25] Worked with in the past.
[00:31:27] Or are currently working with.
[00:31:29] What is the value in.
[00:31:31] You know.
[00:31:32] If you already have these.
[00:31:34] These abilities.
[00:31:36] And you're doing these things.
[00:31:37] What's the value in.
[00:31:40] Going to someone who's a coach.
[00:31:42] To get that guidance.
[00:31:44] One of the advantages is.
[00:31:46] Is I'm unable to see my blind spots.
[00:31:49] Yeah.
[00:31:50] And I can also.
[00:31:52] Continue to tell myself.
[00:31:54] BS stories.
[00:31:55] And not move forward.
[00:31:56] Right.
[00:31:58] Like.
[00:31:59] You know.
[00:31:59] And.
[00:32:00] Coaches.
[00:32:01] Especially need coaches.
[00:32:03] Because we are some smart cookies.
[00:32:05] We can answer those questions.
[00:32:07] The way we think they need to be answered.
[00:32:09] Because we're not accountable to anybody.
[00:32:11] Because we're a coach.
[00:32:13] Right.
[00:32:14] Right.
[00:32:14] So it is.
[00:32:15] That's just something I really believe in.
[00:32:18] That if you're coaching.
[00:32:18] You really need to have.
[00:32:20] A relationship.
[00:32:22] With a coach.
[00:32:23] And it does help you get next level.
[00:32:25] Whatever your next level is.
[00:32:27] It does help you get next level.
[00:32:30] Right.
[00:32:30] Right.
[00:32:31] And that accountability piece.
[00:32:33] Even with.
[00:32:34] With the two of us.
[00:32:36] I know we tend to kind of.
[00:32:37] Keep each other.
[00:32:39] Accountable with certain things.
[00:32:40] So I could imagine having that outside.
[00:32:44] Individual.
[00:32:45] Who.
[00:32:45] Who really doesn't have.
[00:32:47] Like.
[00:32:47] We help each other.
[00:32:49] Be accountable.
[00:32:50] But we also.
[00:32:52] I didn't finish sessions.
[00:32:54] Oh it's okay.
[00:32:55] It's our stuff.
[00:32:57] You can go either way.
[00:33:00] So to have someone.
[00:33:02] Who doesn't really have.
[00:33:03] You know.
[00:33:04] I don't have stock in the game.
[00:33:06] To say.
[00:33:07] Okay.
[00:33:07] No.
[00:33:07] We need to get this done.
[00:33:09] I can see the value in that.
[00:33:10] Right.
[00:33:11] And.
[00:33:11] And.
[00:33:11] And really help you understand.
[00:33:13] What.
[00:33:13] What has stopped you in the past.
[00:33:15] Mm-hmm.
[00:33:17] You know.
[00:33:17] What has stopped me in the past.
[00:33:19] And having that.
[00:33:20] That space.
[00:33:21] That.
[00:33:22] I don't have to be the teacher.
[00:33:24] I don't have to be the mentor.
[00:33:26] I am the student.
[00:33:27] Yeah.
[00:33:28] That's.
[00:33:28] That's really important.
[00:33:29] To be able to have that.
[00:33:31] That.
[00:33:31] And it gives me a better experience.
[00:33:34] For my clients.
[00:33:36] Mm-hmm.
[00:33:36] Mm-hmm.
[00:33:37] Because they know that.
[00:33:38] And I'll tell them.
[00:33:39] My coach told me to do this.
[00:33:41] So I understand that.
[00:33:41] I understand you.
[00:33:42] That look you're giving me right now.
[00:33:44] Because I just gave it to my coach.
[00:33:46] Right.
[00:33:47] But it allows me to bring in a richer.
[00:33:50] Experience with my clients.
[00:33:52] Because I'm still in the game.
[00:33:54] I still.
[00:33:54] I'm not sitting on the throne.
[00:33:56] Saying.
[00:33:56] Thou shalt do all of your items.
[00:33:58] And no matter what happens in life.
[00:34:00] Yeah.
[00:34:02] Right.
[00:34:02] So I think that.
[00:34:03] That does help.
[00:34:04] In that respect too.
[00:34:06] I talked to a student today.
[00:34:08] Who is graduating.
[00:34:10] In 10 days.
[00:34:11] And.
[00:34:14] The first time.
[00:34:15] I've heard.
[00:34:16] A student say.
[00:34:17] I said.
[00:34:18] Well what are you going to do.
[00:34:18] After graduation.
[00:34:19] And she said.
[00:34:20] I want to get my certificate.
[00:34:23] In holistic life coaching.
[00:34:26] Wow.
[00:34:28] Where'd that come from?
[00:34:30] Nice.
[00:34:31] Nice.
[00:34:31] I went on a spiritual journey.
[00:34:36] Oh wow.
[00:34:37] Okay.
[00:34:38] This is.
[00:34:38] You leaned in.
[00:34:39] Didn't you?
[00:34:40] Started naming names.
[00:34:43] Of well-known life coaches.
[00:34:46] And the program that she's.
[00:34:47] She's chosen the program she wants.
[00:34:49] And she said.
[00:34:50] The program itself.
[00:34:51] Is just a life coaching program.
[00:34:53] But I want to add the holistic piece.
[00:34:55] Because of my spiritual walk.
[00:34:59] Wow.
[00:35:00] Wow.
[00:35:01] Where y'all get kids like this?
[00:35:04] That wasn't my kids.
[00:35:06] I can't even coach my kids now.
[00:35:09] I'm trying to coach them.
[00:35:10] And I don't know.
[00:35:11] Right.
[00:35:12] So that.
[00:35:13] I think that speaks to.
[00:35:15] The coaching industry.
[00:35:17] And how there's a level.
[00:35:20] It's becoming.
[00:35:21] Kind of mainstream.
[00:35:23] Yeah.
[00:35:23] And so.
[00:35:23] Like I said.
[00:35:24] We've heard coaches.
[00:35:26] Who are saying.
[00:35:27] You know.
[00:35:27] My coach says.
[00:35:28] And so.
[00:35:29] To know that.
[00:35:30] That outside support.
[00:35:31] Is valuable.
[00:35:31] But also.
[00:35:32] To realize.
[00:35:33] That it's becoming.
[00:35:34] More mainstream.
[00:35:35] To the point where.
[00:35:36] That baby said.
[00:35:38] Yeah.
[00:35:39] To be a holistic life coach.
[00:35:40] I love that.
[00:35:41] Yeah.
[00:35:42] I love that.
[00:35:43] Absolutely.
[00:35:44] Yeah.
[00:35:45] Then when you think about it.
[00:35:46] You know.
[00:35:48] Average kid.
[00:35:49] May or may not know.
[00:35:51] What they want to do.
[00:35:52] Mm-hmm.
[00:35:52] With their life.
[00:35:53] Or their.
[00:35:54] Mm-hmm.
[00:35:55] Feel that.
[00:35:56] You know.
[00:35:58] Pressured by their parents.
[00:35:59] You know.
[00:35:59] You're going to be this.
[00:36:00] You're going to be that.
[00:36:01] But she has it all.
[00:36:02] She has it.
[00:36:02] And it's why.
[00:36:03] In fact.
[00:36:04] That baby said.
[00:36:05] I was going to go.
[00:36:07] To college.
[00:36:08] And.
[00:36:10] Major in psychology.
[00:36:11] So I could be a therapist.
[00:36:12] And I realized.
[00:36:13] That's what my mom wanted.
[00:36:14] Wanted me to do.
[00:36:15] Oh wow.
[00:36:16] That's what I want.
[00:36:17] Okay.
[00:36:19] Can you.
[00:36:20] Can you help me?
[00:36:21] I mean.
[00:36:23] Therapist turned coaches.
[00:36:25] That we met.
[00:36:26] A lot.
[00:36:27] That too.
[00:36:27] That a lot.
[00:36:29] So just.
[00:36:31] To.
[00:36:31] To know that this.
[00:36:32] This industry is.
[00:36:34] Is growing.
[00:36:35] And that there's a need for it.
[00:36:37] There's a.
[00:36:38] And there's a place for it.
[00:36:41] And that baby said.
[00:36:45] I just.
[00:36:46] That's the first time.
[00:36:47] That I've heard that.
[00:36:48] Wow.
[00:36:48] Now last year.
[00:36:49] I had some child.
[00:36:51] To say something.
[00:36:52] And there was so much wisdom.
[00:36:54] In what she said.
[00:36:54] And it was so simple.
[00:36:56] And I said.
[00:36:56] Where'd you get that?
[00:36:57] And she said.
[00:36:58] My mom's a life coach.
[00:37:00] And so then.
[00:37:01] I thought.
[00:37:02] Now.
[00:37:03] Imagine growing up.
[00:37:05] With that type of support.
[00:37:08] To be able to then verbalize.
[00:37:10] When needed.
[00:37:11] What was said.
[00:37:13] And there.
[00:37:14] Then I was.
[00:37:15] My mom wasn't a life coach.
[00:37:17] Yeah.
[00:37:19] Now Stephanie.
[00:37:20] Yes.
[00:37:21] Well.
[00:37:22] How well do those.
[00:37:24] Children of yours.
[00:37:26] Take.
[00:37:27] Mommy's coaching advice.
[00:37:30] Well.
[00:37:33] Interestingly.
[00:37:35] They didn't take it very well.
[00:37:37] When they were growing up.
[00:37:39] Right.
[00:37:39] They.
[00:37:39] They thought I was.
[00:37:41] Different.
[00:37:43] And.
[00:37:45] They had to make their own path.
[00:37:47] Right.
[00:37:48] Oh yeah.
[00:37:50] And there is a line.
[00:37:52] Because.
[00:37:52] I'm parent.
[00:37:54] So.
[00:37:54] Even if.
[00:37:56] There's only so much of.
[00:37:58] You know.
[00:37:58] Tell me what you would do.
[00:38:00] If you could.
[00:38:00] No.
[00:38:01] There's like.
[00:38:02] Let me tell you.
[00:38:02] What you're going to do.
[00:38:04] Yeah.
[00:38:06] And I never really.
[00:38:07] There's times I can remember.
[00:38:08] I didn't call it coaching with them.
[00:38:10] It was.
[00:38:11] It was a different options.
[00:38:14] That I'd lay before them.
[00:38:15] Right.
[00:38:16] Fast forward.
[00:38:17] As they're older now.
[00:38:18] I'm smarter.
[00:38:20] Mm-hmm.
[00:38:20] Uh.
[00:38:21] And.
[00:38:22] My son.
[00:38:23] About once a month.
[00:38:24] We get on.
[00:38:25] And we have an accountability.
[00:38:27] Coaching.
[00:38:28] Discussion.
[00:38:29] Around what he's doing.
[00:38:31] And his priorities.
[00:38:32] Right.
[00:38:32] Uh.
[00:38:33] My daughter.
[00:38:34] She's more open to it.
[00:38:36] As well.
[00:38:36] I've used a lot of my.
[00:38:38] The.
[00:38:39] The life coaching.
[00:38:40] Part of what I do.
[00:38:41] When she was going through.
[00:38:42] A really difficult time.
[00:38:43] Yeah.
[00:38:43] And.
[00:38:44] I was her.
[00:38:45] I was her coach.
[00:38:46] At that point.
[00:38:47] Of.
[00:38:47] Of just.
[00:38:48] Life coping skills.
[00:38:50] When she was going through a really.
[00:38:51] Um.
[00:38:52] A really hard time.
[00:38:53] But I.
[00:38:54] I've.
[00:38:55] I've learned.
[00:38:56] To ask.
[00:38:57] You know.
[00:38:58] How can I.
[00:38:59] How would you.
[00:39:01] Like.
[00:39:01] That's the big question.
[00:39:03] Yes.
[00:39:03] How can I.
[00:39:05] Support you.
[00:39:06] How would you like me.
[00:39:07] To support you.
[00:39:08] Right.
[00:39:08] In this.
[00:39:09] And not just.
[00:39:10] That's what I would do.
[00:39:11] With any coaching client.
[00:39:12] Right.
[00:39:12] Right.
[00:39:13] So.
[00:39:14] Don't give unsolicited.
[00:39:15] And I.
[00:39:16] I tell you.
[00:39:16] I done messed that up.
[00:39:17] I done coached some people.
[00:39:18] That ain't wanting no coaching.
[00:39:20] I just gave it to them.
[00:39:22] You're going to be coached today.
[00:39:25] Oh yeah.
[00:39:27] You'll.
[00:39:27] I've learned.
[00:39:28] Right.
[00:39:29] But I've learned.
[00:39:29] Like.
[00:39:30] Okay.
[00:39:30] You know.
[00:39:31] How.
[00:39:31] How can I support you.
[00:39:32] Right.
[00:39:33] That's been the biggest question.
[00:39:34] In this season.
[00:39:35] Of my journey.
[00:39:36] Of parenting adult children.
[00:39:38] How would you like me.
[00:39:39] To support you.
[00:39:40] Right.
[00:39:41] That's.
[00:39:41] That's a lesson.
[00:39:42] I had to learn.
[00:39:43] Yes.
[00:39:44] Are you telling me this.
[00:39:45] Because you need to vent.
[00:39:47] Are you telling me this.
[00:39:49] Because you would like.
[00:39:51] Advice.
[00:39:52] Are you telling me this.
[00:39:53] Because we're going to fuss.
[00:39:54] About it together.
[00:39:55] I need to know.
[00:39:57] Which of these it is.
[00:39:58] That I know how to handle it.
[00:40:00] Right.
[00:40:00] And with my son.
[00:40:04] It's a little bit different.
[00:40:06] I tend to understand.
[00:40:07] Where he's coming from.
[00:40:10] More than my daughter.
[00:40:12] I don't always agree.
[00:40:14] With where he's coming from.
[00:40:15] But I can see it more.
[00:40:16] With her.
[00:40:21] Go.
[00:40:22] Go talk to your dad.
[00:40:23] Because.
[00:40:25] Anything.
[00:40:26] I say the wrong thing.
[00:40:28] Oh.
[00:40:29] I can look at her.
[00:40:31] And say.
[00:40:31] Reagan boo.
[00:40:32] And she's.
[00:40:32] I can't believe you said that to me.
[00:40:35] And she's like.
[00:40:36] Dad.
[00:40:36] You're right.
[00:40:37] So.
[00:40:37] I know.
[00:40:38] I know.
[00:40:39] It's easy for me.
[00:40:41] To reflect on.
[00:40:43] Okay.
[00:40:44] At that age.
[00:40:45] Yeah.
[00:40:45] This is how I was thinking.
[00:40:47] Yeah.
[00:40:47] I was exactly that.
[00:40:50] Militant.
[00:40:51] Or exactly that.
[00:40:53] Absent thinking.
[00:40:55] And for years.
[00:40:57] You know.
[00:40:57] Especially.
[00:40:58] I don't know.
[00:40:59] When they were in their.
[00:41:00] Early 20s.
[00:41:01] Late teens.
[00:41:02] She was like.
[00:41:02] I just don't.
[00:41:03] I just don't understand.
[00:41:04] I say baby.
[00:41:04] They're going to get it.
[00:41:05] One day.
[00:41:06] They just don't get it.
[00:41:07] It's just.
[00:41:07] Something happens.
[00:41:09] Well.
[00:41:10] 23.
[00:41:11] 24.
[00:41:12] 25.
[00:41:12] I'm not sick.
[00:41:13] But some of them.
[00:41:14] Just going to get it.
[00:41:15] It's just like.
[00:41:16] They'll just snap.
[00:41:17] And it's be like.
[00:41:18] They'll understand more.
[00:41:19] It was scary at times.
[00:41:21] I was like.
[00:41:22] Dog.
[00:41:23] I raised this.
[00:41:24] I.
[00:41:25] Yes.
[00:41:26] Yes.
[00:41:26] I guess.
[00:41:27] Oh.
[00:41:28] Yes.
[00:41:28] I sat up.
[00:41:28] Yes.
[00:41:29] Like trying to figure out.
[00:41:30] What did I do?
[00:41:31] There was that one time.
[00:41:32] When I dropped it.
[00:41:33] Yeah.
[00:41:35] My gosh.
[00:41:38] There was that one time.
[00:41:39] When I didn't put the juice.
[00:41:40] In the refrigerator.
[00:41:41] And they.
[00:41:43] I have gone through.
[00:41:45] It's gone through.
[00:41:46] The list.
[00:41:47] But the moments.
[00:41:48] The fun moments.
[00:41:49] Is when you.
[00:41:50] Hear them.
[00:41:52] Sharing with their friends.
[00:41:54] That's what you know.
[00:41:56] You can't say anything though.
[00:41:58] That's when you know.
[00:42:00] It's like.
[00:42:00] Okay.
[00:42:01] All right.
[00:42:02] All right.
[00:42:02] I did okay.
[00:42:03] Pat myself on the back.
[00:42:04] Because their friends.
[00:42:06] Are like.
[00:42:06] Oh.
[00:42:06] This is such a.
[00:42:07] Oh.
[00:42:08] This is novel.
[00:42:08] Like.
[00:42:09] Okay.
[00:42:09] We're doing all right here.
[00:42:10] With this parent thing.
[00:42:12] We actually have.
[00:42:13] We did a couple of episodes.
[00:42:15] With them.
[00:42:16] And my son.
[00:42:17] He's recorded now.
[00:42:18] It's immortalized.
[00:42:20] And he said.
[00:42:20] I understand why you did that.
[00:42:23] What?
[00:42:25] Wow.
[00:42:26] Woo.
[00:42:26] Woo.
[00:42:27] So.
[00:42:27] That was a.
[00:42:28] That was a big parenting moment for us.
[00:42:30] But.
[00:42:31] I can see it now.
[00:42:33] I just.
[00:42:33] I also know that.
[00:42:35] I had a little reckless stage though.
[00:42:38] So.
[00:42:40] I worried about.
[00:42:42] I worried about that.
[00:42:43] Because.
[00:42:44] I.
[00:42:44] I feel like.
[00:42:46] It could have gone so different for me.
[00:42:49] So watching.
[00:42:50] Especially our daughter.
[00:42:51] Or.
[00:42:51] I feel like.
[00:42:52] Some of the mistakes that she was making.
[00:42:54] Some of the choices she was making.
[00:42:56] And I'm like.
[00:42:57] Oh my.
[00:42:58] She.
[00:42:59] I can understand him.
[00:43:01] She is my mirror.
[00:43:03] Okay.
[00:43:03] I look at her.
[00:43:04] And I'm like.
[00:43:05] But she doesn't react.
[00:43:07] The same way.
[00:43:07] We don't have the same personality.
[00:43:09] But boy.
[00:43:10] She does some of the same thing.
[00:43:11] She just got back from Puerto Rico.
[00:43:13] She was in Puerto Rico for eight days.
[00:43:15] With her friends.
[00:43:17] Okay.
[00:43:17] I'm going to Puerto Rico.
[00:43:19] Okay.
[00:43:20] All right.
[00:43:20] All right.
[00:43:21] Okay.
[00:43:22] That was me.
[00:43:23] I'm.
[00:43:23] I'm always ready to get up and go.
[00:43:26] I'd be here there and everywhere with friends.
[00:43:29] But I knew what I was doing.
[00:43:30] I was out.
[00:43:33] Please don't let her get trafficked.
[00:43:38] Amen.
[00:43:38] Sister.
[00:43:39] Yeah.
[00:43:39] I'm with you.
[00:43:40] Yes.
[00:43:41] Yes.
[00:43:41] Yes.
[00:43:42] Yes.
[00:43:42] Yes.
[00:43:43] Yes.
[00:43:43] Yes.
[00:43:44] Yes.
[00:43:44] Yes.
[00:43:44] Yes.
[00:43:45] Yes.
[00:43:45] Yes.
[00:43:45] Yes.
[00:43:46] Yes.
[00:43:47] Yes.
[00:43:48] Yes.
[00:43:52] Yes.
[00:43:54] Look back.
[00:43:55] You know, I went to school at Auburn.
[00:43:57] when I went to Auburn University
[00:43:59] and Auburn was in the Sugar Bowl.
[00:44:01] Yeah.
[00:44:03] Well, I drove from Auburn to New Orleans.
[00:44:06] Wow.
[00:44:07] By myself.
[00:44:09] Solo.
[00:44:10] No GPS.
[00:44:12] No phone.
[00:44:13] No phone with a paper map
[00:44:17] in the dark.
[00:44:19] But I was like, oh, I'm good.
[00:44:21] I'm good right now.
[00:44:22] I'm going to drive like two hours away.
[00:44:24] I'm like, text me when you stop for gas.
[00:44:26] Yeah, yeah.
[00:44:27] Put the video on so I can see
[00:44:30] when you're getting in and out of the car.
[00:44:32] Look, I'll send her a text in a heartbeat.
[00:44:35] Send proof of life.
[00:44:38] Send proof of life.
[00:44:40] If it weren't for that Life 360 app on our phones,
[00:44:44] I don't know what.
[00:44:47] It's definitely a transition.
[00:44:50] And now me and my therapist
[00:44:52] had to work through that transition
[00:44:54] of parents and adults.
[00:44:56] Oh, yeah.
[00:44:57] So that was something that
[00:44:59] I had to sit back and learn
[00:45:01] and realize that, you know,
[00:45:03] we could create this blueprint for them
[00:45:07] and they could look at it and say,
[00:45:09] that's garbage.
[00:45:09] And they create their own.
[00:45:11] And I have to be okay with that
[00:45:13] because this is their life.
[00:45:14] So that was something that I had to work through.
[00:45:18] I just felt like
[00:45:20] that's the only relationship I've ever had
[00:45:24] where I feel completely responsible
[00:45:26] for the choices of someone else.
[00:45:29] And it's hard as a parent to not feel like,
[00:45:33] now when they do something good,
[00:45:35] I give them all the credit
[00:45:37] and I'm so proud.
[00:45:38] But if they do something bad,
[00:45:40] I'm like, what did I do?
[00:45:42] Right.
[00:45:42] Start going through that list.
[00:45:44] Right.
[00:45:45] Right.
[00:45:45] That's all the things.
[00:45:47] Like, did I miss that?
[00:45:48] Wait, I should have been more.
[00:45:49] Well, why wasn't I going through that whole list?
[00:45:54] Well, I should have, you know,
[00:45:56] I should have sent them to a different school.
[00:45:58] Right.
[00:45:58] Okay.
[00:45:59] I should have let her do her hair different.
[00:46:01] Right.
[00:46:01] Oh man.
[00:46:02] Why was I always showing up at the school?
[00:46:04] You know, it just.
[00:46:06] And to bring it back around
[00:46:08] because that, that introvert in me,
[00:46:12] like when, when I need time to,
[00:46:16] to decompress,
[00:46:17] like I need it from everyone.
[00:46:19] And so then I questioned,
[00:46:21] did I not spend enough time with them
[00:46:23] or did I do that?
[00:46:25] Yeah.
[00:46:25] Even with that,
[00:46:27] or when the kids would come over
[00:46:29] to stay the night,
[00:46:30] like I wasn't that mom,
[00:46:31] like she had one friend,
[00:46:33] they would go spend the night
[00:46:34] and mom would set out ice cream,
[00:46:38] sundae bar.
[00:46:39] No.
[00:46:40] They would do pedicure.
[00:46:41] No.
[00:46:42] Get them.
[00:46:43] No.
[00:46:43] I'm like, y'all, y'all staying?
[00:46:45] Where y'all going to sleep?
[00:46:46] Why?
[00:46:47] I don't give you,
[00:46:47] I'm not giving you anything.
[00:46:48] I already know.
[00:46:50] I'm not even going to let you,
[00:46:52] you don't need none for me, do you?
[00:46:54] Why?
[00:46:55] Yeah.
[00:46:55] You have company.
[00:46:56] So what do you need me for?
[00:46:58] It was some sandwiches
[00:46:58] and some chips.
[00:47:00] No, I make them bring their own food.
[00:47:02] Okay.
[00:47:02] Y'all better stop by Taco Bell
[00:47:04] and I'm going to want one.
[00:47:06] So just be ready.
[00:47:08] Somebody going to have to give up
[00:47:09] one for ransom here
[00:47:11] because I'm going to,
[00:47:12] I'm not that one.
[00:47:14] Right.
[00:47:15] That's not me.
[00:47:16] That's just not me.
[00:47:17] That's not me.
[00:47:18] You'll see me tonight,
[00:47:20] good night,
[00:47:20] and you'll see me in the morning.
[00:47:21] Right.
[00:47:22] I'm not that,
[00:47:23] I'm not that one.
[00:47:24] And so even,
[00:47:25] you know,
[00:47:25] that was cereal for breakfast
[00:47:27] and you might get a hot dog.
[00:47:29] You might not eat anything.
[00:47:31] I was about to say breakfast.
[00:47:33] What time?
[00:47:34] Oh,
[00:47:37] yeah.
[00:47:37] Are you still here?
[00:47:38] We got to go.
[00:47:39] Right.
[00:47:40] Oh,
[00:47:40] that's a good point though.
[00:47:46] I love how you said that,
[00:47:47] Margaret,
[00:47:47] because that was,
[00:47:49] you know,
[00:47:49] being,
[00:47:50] knowing who I was,
[00:47:53] you know,
[00:47:53] I didn't really put a whole bunch
[00:47:54] of labels on it.
[00:47:55] I didn't know,
[00:47:56] right?
[00:47:56] I've evolved.
[00:47:57] I just knew how I was.
[00:47:59] I didn't have a name for it.
[00:48:00] I just knew I'm done with you all.
[00:48:02] I need a minute.
[00:48:03] Right.
[00:48:04] That was the label at the time.
[00:48:06] And they just knew.
[00:48:08] The kids are smart though.
[00:48:09] They knew that.
[00:48:10] They knew that about us.
[00:48:11] Right.
[00:48:12] They knew it.
[00:48:13] My concern was always,
[00:48:15] they know it,
[00:48:16] but how are they internalizing it?
[00:48:19] So that was a concern for me.
[00:48:22] Now I would go through stages where,
[00:48:25] especially when I was younger,
[00:48:26] where I tried to force myself
[00:48:29] to be more outgoing
[00:48:33] and things like that.
[00:48:35] Did you experience those moments?
[00:48:37] Yes,
[00:48:38] I did.
[00:48:39] I did.
[00:48:39] I entered a talent show.
[00:48:42] I can't really sing,
[00:48:43] but I entered a talent show
[00:48:44] and was singing.
[00:48:46] And it was to force myself
[00:48:48] to be more,
[00:48:49] Oh my God.
[00:48:50] to be more out there.
[00:48:52] Because at that time,
[00:48:53] right,
[00:48:53] I want,
[00:48:53] I knew I was different.
[00:48:54] I wanted to be accepted.
[00:48:56] Yeah.
[00:48:56] I was having secondhand anxiety though.
[00:49:01] I was stubborn.
[00:49:04] Okay.
[00:49:05] I was like,
[00:49:05] Oh,
[00:49:05] nobody wants me to be in their group.
[00:49:08] I'll just be my own group.
[00:49:10] All right.
[00:49:11] And I'll just sing my own song.
[00:49:13] So there.
[00:49:15] And so that's some of how I combated that.
[00:49:19] Those,
[00:49:20] those feelings of feeling like I was different feeling alone is I would just do bold things like,
[00:49:26] okay,
[00:49:26] well,
[00:49:26] I got my own group.
[00:49:29] There we go.
[00:49:30] I,
[00:49:31] I went,
[00:49:32] I was kind of a mean girl.
[00:49:35] And I think that I wanted to have the group of friends,
[00:49:41] like,
[00:49:41] because that's what you're supposed to want.
[00:49:43] You're supposed to want this big group of friends.
[00:49:45] And I think that,
[00:49:46] I think that brought out the meanness in me because I didn't want to be around all them people.
[00:49:53] And I'm forcing myself in a situation that is uncomfortable.
[00:49:58] And school,
[00:49:59] the majority of those.
[00:50:01] Well,
[00:50:02] that,
[00:50:03] you know,
[00:50:04] and that does make,
[00:50:05] that does make a difference.
[00:50:07] My,
[00:50:08] both my children were in that environment where they,
[00:50:11] they didn't have a lot of people that look like them.
[00:50:14] And so there's a lot of guilt on my side.
[00:50:18] Well,
[00:50:18] it was,
[00:50:18] I'm like,
[00:50:19] y'all just got to figure out how to deal with it now because everybody parents did something to them.
[00:50:24] So that's just y'alls.
[00:50:25] Right.
[00:50:27] That's just y'alls.
[00:50:28] You got to figure it out.
[00:50:29] But I look back,
[00:50:31] I'm like,
[00:50:31] well,
[00:50:31] should I have put them in a different environment?
[00:50:33] Would they have turned out differently?
[00:50:37] Well,
[00:50:37] yeah.
[00:50:38] Yeah.
[00:50:39] And,
[00:50:39] and,
[00:50:40] you know,
[00:50:40] we've talked to this,
[00:50:41] especially now that they're adults,
[00:50:43] we've talked to them,
[00:50:44] even as they were growing up though,
[00:50:46] when they became teenagers and whatnot,
[00:50:49] and could understand,
[00:50:50] we would let them know,
[00:50:52] you know,
[00:50:52] as parents,
[00:50:53] we're in a situation and we have to make a decision and we're looking at all sides and we're going to make a decision based on what we feel is right.
[00:51:02] We have to get to the other side of that decision to see what's going to happen.
[00:51:08] And a lot of times that outcome is not what we anticipate.
[00:51:12] So,
[00:51:13] you know,
[00:51:13] we,
[00:51:13] hey,
[00:51:14] sorry.
[00:51:16] This is not what was supposed to happen.
[00:51:19] One of the things,
[00:51:20] one of the things.
[00:51:21] Oh,
[00:51:22] love you.
[00:51:24] So.
[00:51:25] One of the things that I,
[00:51:27] you know,
[00:51:27] we talked several years ago about,
[00:51:30] you know,
[00:51:31] how,
[00:51:31] like,
[00:51:31] of course,
[00:51:33] me being the youngest child,
[00:51:35] young as a teen,
[00:51:35] I had siblings that were adults,
[00:51:38] you know,
[00:51:38] by the time.
[00:51:40] Yeah.
[00:51:40] Interesting.
[00:51:42] So they had kids and their kids had kids.
[00:51:46] And my family was probably the first generation out of the projects,
[00:51:51] you know,
[00:51:52] into suburbia.
[00:51:53] So,
[00:51:54] you know,
[00:51:54] of course we had relatives that were still in the projects.
[00:51:59] I had that balance where I could go to,
[00:52:01] you know,
[00:52:02] live in my suburban home,
[00:52:03] but,
[00:52:04] you know,
[00:52:04] on the weekends we were going to visit,
[00:52:06] you know,
[00:52:06] cousins,
[00:52:07] aunts and people like that.
[00:52:09] And so I had that balance where I got a little bit of the hood,
[00:52:13] but then I came home and,
[00:52:15] you know,
[00:52:16] and we were talking about that one time and I was wishing I had that for my
[00:52:20] kids.
[00:52:21] Right.
[00:52:22] But by the time they came along,
[00:52:25] the hood wasn't as safe as it was back in the 80s.
[00:52:30] It wasn't the same.
[00:52:32] Like some of them,
[00:52:33] and then some of my family,
[00:52:35] I'm like,
[00:52:35] nah.
[00:52:36] Nah.
[00:52:37] Let me get my kids.
[00:52:39] Nah.
[00:52:40] That's all.
[00:52:41] Yeah.
[00:52:42] I think my mind,
[00:52:44] uh,
[00:52:44] experience,
[00:52:45] I'm,
[00:52:45] I'm blessed in that my parents are,
[00:52:48] they live in Georgia and my husband's parents live in Alabama and it was
[00:52:53] in a,
[00:52:53] still in a community.
[00:52:55] Okay.
[00:52:56] At that time.
[00:52:57] So a lot of cousins or second level cousins,
[00:52:59] it was still that whole aspect.
[00:53:02] So in the summer,
[00:53:04] they would spend two months in the summer uninterrupted.
[00:53:08] Right.
[00:53:08] Their grandparents.
[00:53:09] Okay.
[00:53:10] Right.
[00:53:10] And within that was a whole gambit.
[00:53:13] The ones that were the one like,
[00:53:17] Oh,
[00:53:17] I wish you had met that cousin,
[00:53:19] you know,
[00:53:20] but I'm like,
[00:53:20] you know what you need to,
[00:53:22] that's part of you.
[00:53:23] Go ahead.
[00:53:24] Go ahead and meet that cousin.
[00:53:26] Right.
[00:53:26] Go ahead and meet that.
[00:53:28] And I,
[00:53:29] I'm glad that they did because they were able to have that.
[00:53:32] Then my kids can go either way right now.
[00:53:35] They can go.
[00:53:36] They,
[00:53:37] wherever they need to migrate,
[00:53:38] they're multi,
[00:53:40] whatever,
[00:53:40] because they can go.
[00:53:42] Sometimes my daughter a little bit too much.
[00:53:44] She's going to be kind of militant.
[00:53:46] I'm like,
[00:53:46] that's our son.
[00:53:47] That's awesome.
[00:53:48] Our son is,
[00:53:49] I will never forget.
[00:53:52] He was late teens.
[00:53:54] And somebody said something about going into the military.
[00:53:58] And my son said,
[00:53:59] the military is no place for a black man.
[00:54:01] Yeah.
[00:54:02] Oh,
[00:54:03] wow.
[00:54:03] I didn't even,
[00:54:04] like,
[00:54:05] where did you even hear that?
[00:54:07] Like that blew.
[00:54:09] I think I was more shocked than the person he was,
[00:54:12] he was talking to.
[00:54:14] Wow.
[00:54:14] Where did you even hear that?
[00:54:17] Wow.
[00:54:18] Our daughter,
[00:54:20] she,
[00:54:21] uh,
[00:54:22] finds
[00:54:24] she,
[00:54:24] she finds like,
[00:54:27] she,
[00:54:28] she has balance too,
[00:54:29] though,
[00:54:29] because then when you hear her music,
[00:54:33] I know I am with you,
[00:54:35] Byron.
[00:54:36] Yes.
[00:54:36] I'm like,
[00:54:37] could you put that one back?
[00:54:38] Like,
[00:54:39] where did you bring that?
[00:54:39] What?
[00:54:40] Don't bring that one home.
[00:54:41] My kids are always bringing people home.
[00:54:43] I don't understand.
[00:54:44] They don't know.
[00:54:45] They know I don't like people.
[00:54:46] Let me tell you what my son said.
[00:54:49] The parents,
[00:54:50] the girl was telling us,
[00:54:53] she was like,
[00:54:53] yeah,
[00:54:54] uh,
[00:54:55] my mom and dad,
[00:54:56] they struggle with,
[00:54:57] uh,
[00:54:58] meth.
[00:54:58] And I'm like,
[00:54:59] God,
[00:54:59] don't,
[00:55:00] child.
[00:55:01] This is what my son says.
[00:55:03] This is,
[00:55:04] this is our fault.
[00:55:06] And,
[00:55:08] he has backup.
[00:55:09] And I'll tell you that.
[00:55:11] So he,
[00:55:12] he was saying something about a former roommate that he had helped in the
[00:55:16] situation he's in because the former roommate and he said,
[00:55:19] we just saw y'all helping everyone.
[00:55:22] And we think that's how we're supposed to be.
[00:55:24] Hmm.
[00:55:25] And so then I'm like,
[00:55:27] wait,
[00:55:27] are you,
[00:55:28] you're saying we were wrong for helping people like you,
[00:55:31] you,
[00:55:31] but we're grown and we have full-time careers and.
[00:55:35] And so I,
[00:55:38] we talked about it and,
[00:55:40] and then I move on with life this past weekend.
[00:55:44] I have former students who are my kids.
[00:55:48] And so we went,
[00:55:50] um,
[00:55:50] one of my former students just moved back to the area and she had some
[00:55:55] stuff that needed hauled off something to look at.
[00:55:58] So we went over there and,
[00:56:01] and she is,
[00:56:02] uh,
[00:56:03] recently divorced.
[00:56:05] And when she's telling us some of the stuff,
[00:56:07] I was like,
[00:56:08] what were you thinking?
[00:56:09] I thought I could help.
[00:56:11] We saw y'all helping everyone.
[00:56:15] There you go.
[00:56:17] Yes.
[00:56:19] Yes.
[00:56:20] Yes.
[00:56:20] You're so right.
[00:56:21] Like,
[00:56:22] so you want your kids to see you help people.
[00:56:25] That's still in them.
[00:56:27] But then at some point you have to instill that you need to help with
[00:56:31] balance and with boundaries.
[00:56:33] And that's the part that we missed.
[00:56:35] Um,
[00:56:36] so now we're having to go back and say,
[00:56:38] oops,
[00:56:41] what you could have said was,
[00:56:46] you know,
[00:56:47] we,
[00:56:47] we,
[00:56:48] we held without balance.
[00:56:50] Oh,
[00:56:51] yeah.
[00:56:51] Yeah.
[00:56:51] We had to learn that.
[00:56:53] I had to learn that.
[00:56:54] I had to learn that.
[00:56:56] And,
[00:56:56] and you're right.
[00:56:57] They,
[00:56:57] I can agree with you from my standpoint too,
[00:57:00] is they saw me,
[00:57:02] they saw us.
[00:57:03] We just,
[00:57:03] we help people.
[00:57:04] Right.
[00:57:05] They didn't.
[00:57:05] That's all they saw.
[00:57:07] Right.
[00:57:07] You help people.
[00:57:08] Right.
[00:57:09] Right.
[00:57:09] And,
[00:57:10] you know,
[00:57:11] I tried to point out to him,
[00:57:13] think about people who have been there and they're no longer here.
[00:57:18] There are reasons for that.
[00:57:20] So we,
[00:57:21] we didn't do good instilling that,
[00:57:23] but we're,
[00:57:23] we're double back.
[00:57:25] Double,
[00:57:25] double back.
[00:57:26] We're doubling back.
[00:57:26] We're doubling back.
[00:57:27] We're doubling back.
[00:57:28] We're feeling it.
[00:57:30] That would tell you why such a disability.
[00:57:33] Let me fix that.
[00:57:35] Let me see if I can.
[00:57:37] Let me fill that hole in.
[00:57:38] There you go.
[00:57:39] Let me,
[00:57:39] let me,
[00:57:40] let me tuck that in for you because you're missing some pieces.
[00:57:43] Right.
[00:57:44] So as we get ready to wrap up,
[00:57:48] if you could tell us about the services,
[00:57:51] I know we've talked about you coaching clients,
[00:57:53] but what type of services you have available and then also how our listeners can find you to learn more.
[00:58:03] So I do one-on-one coaching.
[00:58:06] I do group coaching.
[00:58:07] And then I have my Facebook group where I have a lot of inside the group coaching and things that I do,
[00:58:14] the introvert success club.
[00:58:15] So look forward on Facebook.
[00:58:17] And then I have a journal that's just released for the quiet achiever.
[00:58:23] 60 day guided journey.
[00:58:25] And you can get that on Amazon and you can find other resources on my website at stephanieodin.com.
[00:58:34] Connect with me on Facebook.
[00:58:36] Connect with me on LinkedIn.
[00:58:38] Those are the primary ways you can just,
[00:58:42] if you,
[00:58:42] if you hear this,
[00:58:43] just stop by and say hi.
[00:58:44] Let me know you've listened to this.
[00:58:46] I can say you are very active on LinkedIn and Facebook and you are given very good nuggets of information that I am going to put into action.
[00:58:59] Very soon.
[00:59:02] Thank you.
[00:59:03] Thank you.
[00:59:04] And I'm holding space for you.
[00:59:06] I'm holding space for you.
[00:59:08] Now you said something about being in college and driving to the sugar bowl.
[00:59:13] And no map,
[00:59:14] no phone.
[00:59:15] Now would you do that now?
[00:59:19] No map or phone?
[00:59:20] No map or phone.
[00:59:24] I don't think I would now because I think there's this long bridge that I had to go over now.
[00:59:31] Isn't it amazing?
[00:59:32] And now I think about that and that scares the depth.
[00:59:35] That scares me.
[00:59:36] Even with the phone,
[00:59:37] I'd be like.
[00:59:38] With the phone,
[00:59:38] with the map,
[00:59:39] I'm like,
[00:59:39] what the heck was I talking?
[00:59:43] And I'm saying,
[00:59:44] I don't even know,
[00:59:45] I'm in this little podunk town in Louisiana.
[00:59:48] Yep.
[00:59:49] It's amazing.
[00:59:50] I don't know.
[00:59:51] I don't know.
[00:59:52] I don't know.
[00:59:53] I don't,
[00:59:54] I don't know.
[00:59:55] Can I fly there?
[00:59:56] That's what I'd be thinking right now.
[01:00:01] And have the Uber driver.
[01:00:03] And the Uber driver.
[01:00:05] Yes.
[01:00:05] Yeah.
[01:00:06] I don't know.
[01:00:08] Some of the choices and things,
[01:00:10] we watched the documentary on Hulu about Freaknik,
[01:00:14] and I wasn't in there.
[01:00:18] And I marked that as victory.
[01:00:21] Yeah.
[01:00:21] I was looking.
[01:00:26] That's the street I was on.
[01:00:28] That's not good.
[01:00:29] Okay.
[01:00:30] We had the years.
[01:00:33] But it gives us.
[01:00:35] Good.
[01:00:35] And that's what worries me about those kids.
[01:00:38] Because some of the things that I did,
[01:00:41] and they have my DNA.
[01:00:44] So.
[01:00:44] I know.
[01:00:45] That died.
[01:00:46] Woo-wee.
[01:00:47] That's another whole episode right there.
[01:00:50] Absolutely.
[01:00:52] Woo.
[01:00:52] I'm glad some of those things weren't on camera.
[01:00:55] Right.
[01:00:56] Mm.
[01:00:57] Mm.
[01:00:57] And I'm glad I can say I wasn't spotted.
[01:01:00] Right.
[01:01:03] Found safe.
[01:01:04] Found safe.
[01:01:05] There you go.
[01:01:06] From the Freaknik.
[01:01:08] Well, Stephanie, once again, we thank you.
[01:01:10] Yes.
[01:01:11] This has been a pleasure.
[01:01:12] Right.
[01:01:14] We're still, we're going to try and convince you and Hubby to come back and share with us.
[01:01:20] I'll work on it.
[01:01:22] I will work on it.
[01:01:23] And we just have to limit their talk time.
[01:01:27] Oh.
[01:01:28] Yeah.
[01:01:28] He'll act like he's all shy and stuff.
[01:01:31] Oh, I'm not the one that's sitting in front of the camera.
[01:01:33] But he is.
[01:01:35] He attracts people.
[01:01:37] Like, stop it.
[01:01:38] They will get on perfect.
[01:01:40] You two would get along great.
[01:01:43] We'll get along great.
[01:01:45] We'll have to work on them.
[01:01:46] And I'm so grateful and thankful.
[01:01:50] Appreciative of you allowing me to come on and share my journey, my story, my heart.
[01:01:58] And like I said, we're in there and we're going to be checked in.
[01:02:03] Give me a couple more weeks and then I'm going to be on it.
[01:02:06] I'm going to see what you can help me with.
[01:02:10] I'm sure I can help you with something.
[01:02:12] I believe that you can get help from anybody.
[01:02:14] Yeah.
[01:02:15] I agree.
[01:02:16] I agree.
[01:02:17] And however I can help you, I will.
[01:02:20] Except driving over that bridge, Louisiana.
[01:02:23] You just on your own.
[01:02:25] Right.
[01:02:25] Right.
[01:02:26] You know, some of the best wisdom I received was in some of the worst places.
[01:02:30] Amen.
[01:02:31] I do remember that.
[01:02:32] And it's like, I'm at the liquor store and this guy attended some great wisdom right now.
[01:02:39] You know what I'm saying?
[01:02:40] I'm like, I mean, the best advice I got.
[01:02:46] He tells all his secrets.
[01:02:48] He tells all his secrets.
[01:02:51] You done?
[01:02:52] Tell him secrets.
[01:02:53] Okay.
[01:02:57] Once again, we thank you for joining us, Stephanie.
[01:03:00] Yes.
[01:03:01] We will make sure that we post all of your information so that our listeners can start to get some of those nuggets that you share.
[01:03:09] And we will be working to see if we can get that love story.
[01:03:13] Yep.
[01:03:14] We will.
[01:03:15] We'll work on that.
[01:03:16] We'll work on that.
[01:03:17] Thank you so much.
[01:03:19] Thank you.
[01:03:19] Thank you.
[01:03:56] Thank you.
[01:04:07] Thank you.
[01:04:14] Thank you.
[01:04:17] Thank you.
[01:04:20] will holler at y'all thanks for joining us on this episode of the beyond i do podcast
[01:04:35] please make sure to like this episode and also subscribe to our podcast you can also find us on
[01:04:43] facebook instagram and youtube at the beyond i do podcast and until next time we will holler at y'all