Keepin' It Spicy with Intimacy Coach Twila B Goode

[00:00:00] After over 25 years of marriage, we've learned that successful couples have great friendships,

[00:00:09] put each other first and focus on light just as much as love.

[00:00:13] We believe marriage should be fun and easy.

[00:00:16] Our goal is to share our journey with the hopes of helping others build strong happy relationships.

[00:00:22] Join us as we continue to create our lives beyond I Do.

[00:00:30] Before we get into our episode, we want to share this disclaimer.

[00:00:37] We are not marriage counselors nor are we mental health professionals.

[00:00:41] We simply want to share with you what has worked in our marriage.

[00:00:44] Now, on to our episode.

[00:00:46] Hey y'all, on this episode we're excited to be joined by Miss Twyla Begud, who is the

[00:00:57] Certified Clinical Sexuality Coach and the owner of a Taste of intimacy coaching located in Dallas, Texas.

[00:01:05] Welcome Twyla and thanks for joining us.

[00:01:08] So we want to get started.

[00:01:10] We are so excited to have you here.

[00:01:13] We want to start at the beginning so if you could tell us a little bit about yourself

[00:01:17] and about what you do as an intimacy coach.

[00:01:20] Sure.

[00:01:21] Thank you so much for having me on your show.

[00:01:23] I'm excited.

[00:01:24] And this is right in time for Valentine's Day.

[00:01:27] So, this is perfect.

[00:01:29] Talk about love and just celebrating all things love this month.

[00:01:33] So my name is Twyla Begud and like you said, I am a certified clinical sexuality coach.

[00:01:39] And pretty much what that means is I coach couples and individuals on how to have a more

[00:01:45] intimate and sensual sex life as well as I coach couples on just relationship coaching,

[00:01:54] you know, building the foundation of that relationship.

[00:01:56] Or if they've been married for quite some time, how do they navigate this new change?

[00:02:01] Maybe they're empty nesters or they don't know how to communicate with each other anymore.

[00:02:06] So I coach them on those aspects as well as intimacy.

[00:02:11] I've been doing this for about three and a half years now.

[00:02:16] The owner of a Taste of Sex is located in Dallas.

[00:02:19] And slow coaching sessions are online and then I have intimacy classes that are held in person.

[00:02:25] And so those intimacy classes are with couples and a private and sensual setting.

[00:02:32] Everyone is fully clothed.

[00:02:34] So, you know, I always get that question like, is there nudity?

[00:02:38] No, there's absolutely no nudity there.

[00:02:41] I do what I do in those classes is I do show couples how to touch, how to practice physical

[00:02:47] intimacy.

[00:02:48] What does that look like?

[00:02:49] How do they have those sexual conversations with their partner?

[00:02:54] And then we go into maybe some kink.

[00:02:57] They're interested in learning all things that are involving kink and BDSM.

[00:03:03] Maybe you know, I do have some clients, you know, the wife she would like to learn how

[00:03:07] to ride is trying to learn new tips.

[00:03:12] Maybe she's complaining about her knees hurting.

[00:03:15] And so I show her different tips on how to ride as well as palatia.

[00:03:21] That's one thing that, you know, women sometimes feel uncomfortable, you know, giving head and

[00:03:29] so I give tips on that.

[00:03:32] So now we have met with you before this.

[00:03:36] So there's a comfort level.

[00:03:38] But when you have clients coming in, do you go from high and nice to meet you and less

[00:03:44] learn how to ride?

[00:03:45] How does that transition work?

[00:03:49] Like are the couples, do they meet time to kind of do you ease them into it or do you

[00:03:55] just have to go forward?

[00:03:57] So the way it works is they would have gone onto my website.

[00:04:03] And nine times out of ten, it's usually men who were typing in sex therapists or sex

[00:04:09] college and then they'll look at the list of services.

[00:04:13] And then they will look and be like, Oh, okay, well, I'm a book this service for us

[00:04:19] and it's held during the day.

[00:04:21] So it's like a day date.

[00:04:23] And so it's for two hours.

[00:04:25] So they already know what they're going in for.

[00:04:28] Now what that experience is like, they aren't too sure that.

[00:04:32] And so it happens as prior to us actually meeting face to face.

[00:04:36] I do have consultations with them and pretty much I vet them making sure that first of all

[00:04:43] it's safe for me.

[00:04:45] Right.

[00:04:46] Right.

[00:04:47] So we have conversations, I get to know them ahead of time, you know, I listen to their

[00:04:51] goals and their challenges and then we go from there.

[00:04:55] Then when they actually book the service, I meet them and I have food and I have wine

[00:05:01] and we have a mini coaching session before we get into the actual acts.

[00:05:05] Okay.

[00:05:06] And we talk, you know, how long have you been married?

[00:05:09] Do you have children with type of work?

[00:05:11] Are you into do you have your room set up and inviting for sex?

[00:05:17] You know, where are your stressors?

[00:05:19] You know what are it?

[00:05:20] Because nine times out of ten when I started talking to them is underlying issues.

[00:05:25] It's more than just how I need to learn how to ride.

[00:05:28] I've had this type of health issue or I don't know how to talk to my partner about certain

[00:05:33] things.

[00:05:34] And so we uncover all of that and we, you know, we have a coaching session for a moment

[00:05:40] and then I walk them over to the living room area and I show them how to ride on the

[00:05:47] bed and the sofa.

[00:05:49] Yeah.

[00:05:50] Okay.

[00:05:52] And I'm shocked.

[00:05:53] You said mostly men are the ones to reach out because I just, I would think that it's

[00:06:00] the opposite that they would kind of be the ones being pulled along whereas the woman

[00:06:06] would be the one seeking some type of support or help.

[00:06:09] So that's in you know, yeah, not all of the time usually men are at a place where

[00:06:15] they don't know what to do anymore.

[00:06:17] They tried this.

[00:06:18] They've tried that and their concern is I don't know how to please my wife.

[00:06:23] I don't know what to do.

[00:06:25] I've tried this.

[00:06:27] She used to like this but now she doesn't.

[00:06:30] And so they're at a loss and so they're trying to find some type of help and so they come

[00:06:36] and talk to me.

[00:06:39] And then that's when we discover what the real issue is.

[00:06:42] Okay.

[00:06:43] Maybe her libido has changed.

[00:06:44] She's just not into sex anymore.

[00:06:46] She's gotten older.

[00:06:47] Her mind is elsewhere that you know, sex is not a priority for her.

[00:06:51] So then I have to really work with her to get her back and give her some tips on how

[00:06:56] to get that libido back.

[00:06:58] You know why is she not into sex anymore?

[00:07:01] Is she going through menopause?

[00:07:03] You know, that'll definitely change it for some women.

[00:07:07] So yes, it's mainly men.

[00:07:08] They are booking the services.

[00:07:11] Yeah.

[00:07:12] I guess I could understand that the common conversation of having with a lot of men or

[00:07:17] listening to a lot of men is the one thing that I hear repeated often is when we started

[00:07:23] out, we couldn't keep our hands off of each other.

[00:07:27] And then after two years it's like I have to beg for it.

[00:07:32] You know, and now one thing I wanted to talk about was, you know, a lot of us men are

[00:07:39] education when it comes to sex, comes from pornography.

[00:07:44] Often times it's the rough tough stuff is the you know, we just jab and go in and jab,

[00:07:51] jab, jab, jab, jab.

[00:07:53] And so I think a lot of times when men are imitating those, you know, acts or whatever,

[00:08:00] that's what they're doing in the bedroom with their spouse.

[00:08:02] Now do you find that that could be drawing a lot of women away from them sexually because

[00:08:09] of that or what you know, it can be I think all of us we, you know, get some type of

[00:08:17] sex education from porn.

[00:08:20] You know, I mean normally in our households, we don't talk about sex, right?

[00:08:25] It's not a conversation that we have.

[00:08:28] We don't talk about healthy relationships.

[00:08:31] What does that look like?

[00:08:32] We really don't have those conversations so we do get the idea of what sex should be from

[00:08:37] watching porn.

[00:08:38] I should sound like this and mom like this, you know, I should put my leg way over here

[00:08:44] and he should be just pounding, you know, my box all the way out.

[00:08:48] And so we mimic this not knowing that's entertainment.

[00:08:52] Right.

[00:08:53] So your young, you are inexperienced.

[00:08:56] You think that's what you're supposed to do.

[00:08:59] And it works for the moment, you know, it's fun.

[00:09:02] It's exciting, you know, because you don't know any better.

[00:09:06] But when you're younger and you're going through all of that, that's cool for that moment.

[00:09:10] But as you get older, you start to learn your body more and you're like, no, I really

[00:09:15] don't like that.

[00:09:17] And the confusion becomes well, you used to be the other part of that is the woman nine

[00:09:22] times out of 10.

[00:09:23] The wife is not saying why I really don't like that anymore or she is saying that is he

[00:09:28] really in tune to what she now likes.

[00:09:31] So it's both parties is involved.

[00:09:34] So the husband making sure that he is listening to what she is saying, but most importantly,

[00:09:40] is she truly articulating to where he understands this is what I like now.

[00:09:47] Oftentimes I will work with clients and the wife will say, well, he doesn't know my

[00:09:52] body.

[00:09:53] What does that mean?

[00:09:55] Right.

[00:09:56] Because I don't even know what that means.

[00:09:57] If you want to take me, you know, I don't, you don't know my body.

[00:10:01] Well, I don't because I don't know what you're talking about.

[00:10:03] Right.

[00:10:04] Right.

[00:10:05] So what exactly do you want me to know about your body?

[00:10:10] So you have to be detailed.

[00:10:11] Do you want me to touch you on your arm?

[00:10:13] Okay.

[00:10:14] Then how should I touch you on your arm?

[00:10:16] Do you want me to touch you on your breast?

[00:10:18] Okay.

[00:10:19] Great.

[00:10:20] Then how do you want me to touch you on your breast?

[00:10:22] Whatever that looks like or whatever that is.

[00:10:24] So that's when both parties need to, you know, talk, have the sex conversations, not have

[00:10:32] the ego get in the way, not be judgmental and not and realize that as you get older,

[00:10:40] you want to try different things.

[00:10:42] What you may have liked in your 20s and your 40s, you may not like that anymore.

[00:10:47] Right.

[00:10:48] And it's it's okay to try different things.

[00:10:50] It's okay to continue to educate yourself on what your partners needs and wants are.

[00:10:56] The biggest thing is communication.

[00:10:59] Right.

[00:11:00] And for me, the effective communication.

[00:11:03] Right.

[00:11:04] That is the biggest challenge.

[00:11:07] And so women aren't really expressing themselves to where their husband is able to process

[00:11:14] it and understand it.

[00:11:16] Right.

[00:11:17] And then once they talk about it, okay, let's actually do it.

[00:11:21] Right.

[00:11:22] She said don't touch her the way she likes it or you know, you need to touch her on this

[00:11:27] certain area of her body.

[00:11:28] Okay.

[00:11:29] Now let's go and let's see what is she talking about.

[00:11:31] Okay.

[00:11:32] She said touch her ears.

[00:11:33] I need you to do that.

[00:11:34] Now what she will then say is okay, you need to tell him how does this feel?

[00:11:38] Don't just lay there.

[00:11:39] Right.

[00:11:40] And silent.

[00:11:41] Yes.

[00:11:43] So and really there's two things that stick out for me that I think can become big issues.

[00:11:53] And one is the man taking offense to the woman who is expressing likes and dislikes.

[00:12:02] And maybe taking it personal, taking it as a personal thing.

[00:12:07] And then the second is a woman who is confident enough to speak up, but also who knows her

[00:12:15] body enough to know I like this or I don't like this.

[00:12:20] So do you encounter that those dynamics a lot when working with couples?

[00:12:27] Oh yes, very much so.

[00:12:30] You have the man, the husband, boyfriend who you know he's been doing this same movement

[00:12:38] for quite some time.

[00:12:39] What have you?

[00:12:40] And in his mind everything is fine.

[00:12:42] He has absolutely no idea.

[00:12:44] Right.

[00:12:45] What happens is the wife, girlfriend or whatever, she's not really into that anymore.

[00:12:51] And so you'll find our found couples where physically the woman is there mentally she's

[00:12:57] elsewhere.

[00:12:58] She's not truly in tune and being connected with him goes back to having the conversation

[00:13:04] again, her telling him you know, and it's how you approach it too.

[00:13:09] You don't want to just start out with the negative and say oh you're not doing it right.

[00:13:13] Well, you know what I that's not right.

[00:13:16] What you're not doing it right?

[00:13:17] You know I told you to do this like come on, that's the tone of voice.

[00:13:21] That's the attitude.

[00:13:24] She's not going to give it any more thought.

[00:13:26] He'll eventually shut down and just won't do anything right.

[00:13:30] Right.

[00:13:31] So you want to approach the conversation and say, hey babe, you know I love having sex with

[00:13:37] you.

[00:13:38] I like when you touch me, but I'd like you to touch me right here.

[00:13:42] Like that feels really good.

[00:13:44] I noticed that you do touch me there, but if you could just stay there a little bit longer

[00:13:48] that feels really really good.

[00:13:50] So you're not tearing the person down.

[00:13:53] What?

[00:13:54] You're complimenting and then telling them what you do like when whatever it is that they

[00:13:57] do, but how can they just tweak it a little bit and make it better.

[00:14:02] And then you can turn on and ask and say okay well do you like it when I do this or do

[00:14:06] that?

[00:14:07] Yeah.

[00:14:08] So you have to be opening on us, you know.

[00:14:11] I have a motto and my thing is and I sell this to women if you can open up your mouth

[00:14:18] and give him head.

[00:14:19] You can open up your mouth and tell them what's wrong with that.

[00:14:22] That makes sense.

[00:14:24] Yeah.

[00:14:25] And you know, I may not say give it head.

[00:14:31] I may say the other, but you know, you get the point right because that is definitely

[00:14:38] something that you know I have fell with in our early years, you know.

[00:14:44] Am I doing things right and my, you know enough and my satisfying her and it sounds like

[00:14:51] it is when we're in the bedroom.

[00:14:53] But I don't know because there are sometimes I can do one thing this night and she loves

[00:14:59] it.

[00:15:00] I could do the exact same thing and I don't get a response or doesn't seem like it's enjoyable

[00:15:08] and it took me a while to understand that, you know, it was her communicating with me about

[00:15:13] her past traumas and things like that that allowed me to further understand.

[00:15:19] Okay, now that's the reason why I'm not getting what I think I should have.

[00:15:27] And that helped us talk about those things, you know.

[00:15:30] And once we communicated about those things, she knew I was listening and it allowed her

[00:15:36] to say okay, now I feel comfortable telling you maybe I like this.

[00:15:40] I like that, you know.

[00:15:42] Right.

[00:15:43] All right.

[00:15:44] That's, I'm learning.

[00:15:46] You read that.

[00:15:48] That's one of the things that you've talked about intimacy is in your title and then

[00:15:53] you're talking about the sex part of it.

[00:15:58] But I know for us personally being able to communicate in that non-judgmental space held

[00:16:08] and then getting to the point where I understood he doesn't just want sex.

[00:16:15] He wants to have sex with me.

[00:16:18] And that was a big, that was a big shift for us because now I feel like it's not a job

[00:16:24] or a duty that I'm fulfilling, that he wants to spend time with me.

[00:16:30] But that came from intimacy outside of sex.

[00:16:35] So if you could expand on that idea that intimacy goes beyond just that physical.

[00:16:41] Oh, yes.

[00:16:42] And you know, you mentioned two keywords.

[00:16:45] Actually, it was three.

[00:16:47] One was sexual trauma.

[00:16:49] So when you're dating or you have moved past the dating stage, now you're going to get

[00:16:54] married.

[00:16:55] You need to have that conversation, you know, very early on.

[00:16:59] I would say even before you say I do, you want to have that conversation about, um,

[00:17:05] have you had any any sexual trauma?

[00:17:08] Often times victims, they don't really share.

[00:17:11] They aren't comfortable with that.

[00:17:14] But if you know that this is the person that you want to take it to the next level,

[00:17:18] you want to make sure you talk about it.

[00:17:20] And at that point, I was strongly suggest that the two of you see counseling so you can

[00:17:26] know how to navigate this new chapter in your life.

[00:17:29] You know, how can you express your sexual needs and wants to your partner who may have

[00:17:34] had some trauma in the past because you don't want to create any type of triggers.

[00:17:38] Yes.

[00:17:39] So the person that has been traumatized needs to be able to express that to their partner

[00:17:48] that goes back to trusting, um, that goes back to it's like an onion pilling those layers

[00:17:55] you know, one layer at a time that goes back to how that person receives that information

[00:18:01] because you know, that can be heavy for the other person.

[00:18:04] But why do I navigate this with this person that I love?

[00:18:08] Especially if you've never experienced that.

[00:18:11] Right.

[00:18:12] So I would say for people that are listening, if you've experienced any type of sexual trauma

[00:18:18] in your dating or in a relationship, make sure you talk to them about it.

[00:18:23] Go there, be together so you can learn how to navigate the next phase.

[00:18:31] The next chapter and continue to go to therapy, continue to talk about it because as you

[00:18:37] grow older together and continue to be in the relationship, things do change.

[00:18:42] Right.

[00:18:43] And so you want to be able to to walk through that together.

[00:18:47] The other thing is that you mentioned sex being a job, sex being a chore.

[00:18:55] And you know, I hate to say this but a lot of times women do begin to feel like that.

[00:19:01] Like it's this routine that I have to check off or not to do list.

[00:19:05] Oh, as we say at 10 o'clock, oh God, have sex, you know, which out let me go back.

[00:19:11] Plan six is not always a bad thing depending on your schedules.

[00:19:15] So you may have to plan it out.

[00:19:17] However, sex should not be considered a chore.

[00:19:22] It should not be considered a job because that doesn't make it fun.

[00:19:28] That makes it monotonous, that makes it stagnant.

[00:19:33] And it's just like, okay, let me just go on and get my orgasm.

[00:19:37] Like, you know, make these you say, I'm interested in role, but because I can go to sleep.

[00:19:44] Or let me go on and give them some because he's been bothering me.

[00:19:51] You nagging me for two weeks.

[00:19:54] And let me give them some for a few minutes.

[00:19:57] I can go ahead and do the dishes.

[00:19:58] Right.

[00:19:59] Change your mindset.

[00:20:00] So to answer your question, I have a class called sexual mindfulness.

[00:20:05] And what it is is getting your mind into and getting it prepared for sex.

[00:20:12] But it starts with non-sexual things.

[00:20:15] It starts with meditation.

[00:20:18] Meditation is key.

[00:20:19] Meditation helps the brain focus and being present and being in the moment, okay?

[00:20:25] So it starts with that.

[00:20:27] It starts with getting those chores done before you go to bed.

[00:20:31] So you aren't in the mood or you aren't having sex with your partner thinking about,

[00:20:34] oh, did I do the dishes?

[00:20:36] Right.

[00:20:37] Right.

[00:20:38] Because now you have this checklist go off in your head.

[00:20:42] So you want to get all of those little things done before you go into the bedroom.

[00:20:48] The other thing with that is, is your room inviting for sex?

[00:20:52] Well, if you have a pile of clothes on the bed or in the chair, it's the bills everywhere.

[00:20:59] Do you have your children in the bedroom?

[00:21:01] Right.

[00:21:02] You're going to talk about creating those boundaries.

[00:21:05] We have never even had pictures.

[00:21:07] We don't have family pictures in our bedroom.

[00:21:11] We don't have the kids in any family pictures in the bedroom.

[00:21:15] I don't want to be going good and looking to see your mama looking at you.

[00:21:20] Right.

[00:21:21] Right.

[00:21:22] I don't see that.

[00:21:23] I see you.

[00:21:24] You know, right?

[00:21:27] I do.

[00:21:28] Yes.

[00:21:29] Don't have the TV in there.

[00:21:32] You don't want to have those distractions if you had your phone in there.

[00:21:36] Put the phone away.

[00:21:38] This is time for you and your partner.

[00:21:41] That's intimacy.

[00:21:42] Right.

[00:21:43] There's anything to do with touch.

[00:21:45] Right.

[00:21:46] It's spending time with each other, it's having those fun conversations in the bedroom.

[00:21:52] And something else that I tell clients is the conversations that you have in the bedroom

[00:21:57] should be about the two of you.

[00:21:59] Not about finances.

[00:22:00] Not about the kids.

[00:22:02] That needs to be at the kitchen table.

[00:22:04] Right.

[00:22:05] That's true.

[00:22:06] That's true.

[00:22:07] That's true.

[00:22:08] I don't want to go into the bedroom, the bedroom or whatever room you have in your house

[00:22:11] should be fun.

[00:22:12] It should be playful.

[00:22:15] It should be sexy.

[00:22:16] It should be sensual.

[00:22:17] That is what that room is for.

[00:22:20] So those conversations that are going over finances, careers, kids that need to be outside

[00:22:27] of that room.

[00:22:28] I think that we've kind of fallen into that like us now at the picture thing.

[00:22:34] I never wanted to.

[00:22:36] But the rest of it, just the once there was the level of comfort and trust there, it

[00:22:42] kind of evolved into this is our space.

[00:22:45] Especially once the kids were gone.

[00:22:48] Now before that, when they were still home, it was nothing for us to wake up on a Saturday

[00:22:53] morning and have kids all surrounding us.

[00:22:57] And so once that dynamic shift, then we shifted and we became semi-empting nesters, we kind

[00:23:04] of evolved into, okay, this is our space.

[00:23:08] So that's all of those things have helped us to become closer both inside the bedroom and

[00:23:15] outside.

[00:23:16] And that's a good thing.

[00:23:18] And what happens is people like you mentioned, you have the kids in the room.

[00:23:22] And I have two boys, 17 and 15.

[00:23:24] And when they were smaller, yeah, mommy's room was there, but I cut that off.

[00:23:30] Right.

[00:23:31] Right.

[00:23:32] We're going to have some boundaries.

[00:23:33] And it's not that they were welcomed in my room.

[00:23:39] It was just that if the door is closed, and of course there were old enough at the time

[00:23:45] so it's like, okay, I know to knock, walk in.

[00:23:49] Okay.

[00:23:50] Don't come and fly as yourself.

[00:23:51] Right.

[00:23:52] Right.

[00:23:53] And even if I'm not doing anything, if your door is closed, yeah, knock, but don't knock

[00:23:59] and open.

[00:24:00] It is to knock.

[00:24:01] It's a lie.

[00:24:02] I invite you because what you're doing is once again, you're creating a healthy boundary

[00:24:08] and it's just a sign of respect.

[00:24:10] Okay.

[00:24:11] And so, until you know, clients, depending on the kids age, you know, make sure that they

[00:24:17] understand that this is our room.

[00:24:20] Right.

[00:24:21] That you do not enter the room.

[00:24:25] The same thing is, okay, so you're empty nesters.

[00:24:28] Now we got to get back to us.

[00:24:31] What does that look like for us?

[00:24:34] You know, how do we take time to learn each other all over again?

[00:24:39] Because for so long in relationships, the kids will be the priority.

[00:24:44] The relationship is not.

[00:24:46] So I tell clients, no, no, no, no, no, the relationship to you is a priority.

[00:24:53] It's not saying that the kids aren't because they are.

[00:24:56] They just aren't first.

[00:24:58] Right.

[00:24:59] And that is okay.

[00:25:00] It is absolutely right because once they're gone, it's just the two of you.

[00:25:05] Right.

[00:25:06] Yeah.

[00:25:07] We've been counting.

[00:25:08] We count.

[00:25:09] We count.

[00:25:10] You hear us.

[00:25:11] I think people were like, oh, you're going to miss them when they live.

[00:25:13] No.

[00:25:14] Okay.

[00:25:15] I'm good.

[00:25:16] I want to stay here.

[00:25:17] Right.

[00:25:18] We still have one that's here with us.

[00:25:21] But she's 22.

[00:25:22] She comes and goes as she pleases.

[00:25:24] And we're cool with that.

[00:25:26] But when we always put each other first, they have expressed how sad it is that with

[00:25:36] the choices that they have to choose from, how I will never have what y'all have.

[00:25:42] But they knew that we put each other first and we valued that relationship.

[00:25:46] So that's one of our, that's one of our things that that we've always lived by.

[00:25:52] And I think that's why we're here today.

[00:25:55] Talk.

[00:25:56] I love it.

[00:25:57] I love it.

[00:25:58] I love it.

[00:25:59] Yes.

[00:26:00] And you're showing them examples how it can look like and it's all hope is not lost.

[00:26:07] I know the dating pool can't be kind of, I don't want to say what I'm thinking but the dating

[00:26:15] pool can be somewhat interesting and unique.

[00:26:18] I'll say that full of characters.

[00:26:20] Yes.

[00:26:21] It can be very entertaining.

[00:26:23] However, there are some really good men and women out there who are looking for genuine

[00:26:29] connection and want to be in the healthy relationships.

[00:26:33] So don't give up.

[00:26:35] That's what I've been.

[00:26:37] I have friends and family members who are single or divorced and you know, the stories

[00:26:46] that they tell us.

[00:26:48] Oh yeah, we could all write a book.

[00:26:50] It's not dating or just dating in general.

[00:26:52] And I'm just like man, thank God I have a wife that I love because I can imagine.

[00:27:00] I'll give it now.

[00:27:01] I was like, it can't be fun.

[00:27:06] It can be fun.

[00:27:08] It's easy.

[00:27:10] I think a lot of times we can make it complex and hard but it's easy to say no if you meet

[00:27:17] someone and they aren't.

[00:27:19] Yeah.

[00:27:20] Oh yeah.

[00:27:21] I mean, you move on.

[00:27:22] No time is best.

[00:27:23] Right.

[00:27:24] So that's the easy thing but it's, you know, I don't want to go off in a tangent on dating

[00:27:29] because we could be here for another three hours talking about that but it really is speaking

[00:27:35] life into the dating universe as I say.

[00:27:40] So for the listeners who have joined us who are excited about the services that you

[00:27:47] have to offer, what are, because once they get off, they're going to go and find your

[00:27:52] Instagram.

[00:27:53] They're going to find all this stuff.

[00:27:55] What are, I'll say three things that they can do after listening to this episode to

[00:28:03] kind of spice things up, to re spark so that they can have a wonderful Valentine's Day.

[00:28:09] Oh, the first thing would be compliments.

[00:28:13] Compliments go a long way.

[00:28:14] Yes.

[00:28:15] Yes.

[00:28:16] You know, if your man is complimenting you and he says, baby, look nice.

[00:28:23] I love your hair.

[00:28:24] Do not say, oh, you just saying that you don't mean that.

[00:28:28] But do not please, please, please don't do that.

[00:28:32] You didn't have to step on my toe but okay.

[00:28:35] Okay.

[00:28:36] I'm working progress.

[00:28:37] You know, I'm working.

[00:28:38] Hey, hey, go do that.

[00:28:39] No more.

[00:28:40] Right.

[00:28:41] You got to offer you get that.

[00:28:42] And then the conversation becomes, well, you never say anything about me.

[00:28:47] Right.

[00:28:48] Well, I did.

[00:28:49] You shot it down.

[00:28:50] The compliments, you know, compliment each other, learn how to receive the compliments.

[00:29:04] Say I appreciate that.

[00:29:05] That makes me feel good.

[00:29:06] Okay.

[00:29:07] The second thing that you can do is say affirmations.

[00:29:11] I'm big on affirmations.

[00:29:12] Okay.

[00:29:13] So this can be one of those intimate fun times.

[00:29:17] Take a bath together or a shower and say affirmations to each other and over their relationship.

[00:29:23] Say I appreciate you.

[00:29:25] I'm proud of you.

[00:29:27] I'm grateful that you're in my life.

[00:29:29] I enjoy our relationship.

[00:29:31] I love spending time with you.

[00:29:35] Creating those things goes a long way.

[00:29:37] So affirming the relationship, putting those positive thoughts out into the universe

[00:29:42] creates that positive energy.

[00:29:44] Okay.

[00:29:45] I would say that third thing that you can do is so it's it's simple, but I think it's

[00:29:51] nice is when you go out to dinner and sit next to each other.

[00:29:55] Don't sit across from each other.

[00:29:57] Okay.

[00:29:58] Yeah.

[00:29:59] Yeah, on the next segment,

[00:30:01] I'll tell you how to be freaky while you do that.

[00:30:03] You know, all right.

[00:30:05] We're about to get the next skill.

[00:30:06] All right, we got the rig.

[00:30:07] Oh, yes, just sit next to each other.

[00:30:11] You know, caress each other.

[00:30:14] You know, it's okay to show some type of PDS,

[00:30:17] soft gentle kisses while you're sitting next to each other.

[00:30:21] You can even, you know, kind of hold hands as you're driving

[00:30:24] to the place you're in the car.

[00:30:26] You're holding hands all of that's that physical touch right there

[00:30:31] while you are out to eat.

[00:30:33] You know, just just be teenagers again,

[00:30:35] just being loved all over again.

[00:30:37] You really have to think back when we first started

[00:30:41] how we were laughing, everything was fun.

[00:30:45] You know, that person may have been silly, goofy.

[00:30:48] We always had a good time.

[00:30:49] You want to get back to that.

[00:30:51] So those three things

[00:30:53] right there, I think would be helpful for Valentine's Day.

[00:30:56] And Valentine's Day, you know, can be every day.

[00:30:59] Yes, it can.

[00:31:00] It doesn't always have to be this exchange of a tangible object.

[00:31:03] It can be every day can be showing appreciation and love

[00:31:07] to your partner.

[00:31:08] Okay.

[00:31:09] And this past October we did a rekindle

[00:31:13] your love with your partner

[00:31:15] for different tips

[00:31:17] and different ways to say I love you.

[00:31:20] Yeah.

[00:31:21] And different love songs and you know,

[00:31:23] dance with your partner and things like that

[00:31:25] because like you said,

[00:31:27] you don't, you get,

[00:31:28] you get in this routine.

[00:31:30] And at the end of the day,

[00:31:32] whether you have kids

[00:31:33] and you're focusing on kids

[00:31:34] or you're climbing the career ladder,

[00:31:37] your spouse is going to be there.

[00:31:40] And you don't want to stop one day

[00:31:42] and realize that you are

[00:31:44] where you want to be in a career

[00:31:46] but then you're going to be there

[00:31:48] and you're going to be in a career

[00:31:50] but then you've left

[00:31:52] the most important person behind

[00:31:54] or your kids are gone

[00:31:55] and you're like,

[00:31:56] I don't even know if I like him.

[00:31:58] Right.

[00:31:59] Look how you breathe.

[00:32:00] Right.

[00:32:01] You got to breathe that much.

[00:32:03] Right.

[00:32:04] Like you can hear that.

[00:32:06] I didn't know that.

[00:32:08] I need air too.

[00:32:09] You're going to take all the air.

[00:32:10] Right.

[00:32:11] So we don't want to do that.

[00:32:13] And we want to make sure

[00:32:15] that we're going to be there.

[00:32:17] And we want to make sure

[00:32:19] that we're going to be there.

[00:32:21] Like there's this

[00:32:22] like lack of

[00:32:25] relations,

[00:32:26] like it's an anti-relationship type thing

[00:32:29] and so our goal is just to be a little

[00:32:32] a little bit of light

[00:32:33] to put a little bit more love out there

[00:32:35] and share love

[00:32:36] and let people see that you can

[00:32:38] you can have fun

[00:32:39] you can this is my friend

[00:32:41] is my best friend.

[00:32:43] And anything that you do

[00:32:45] in your friendships,

[00:32:46] this is my friend.

[00:32:47] I want to say I have one more thing

[00:32:49] something that you were saying

[00:32:51] it made me think,

[00:32:52] I'm at this as number four.

[00:32:53] Okay.

[00:32:54] Okay.

[00:32:55] Okay.

[00:32:56] Yes.

[00:32:57] Two.

[00:32:58] Yeah.

[00:32:59] Create a vision for your relationship.

[00:33:00] Sit down,

[00:33:01] have a vision board

[00:33:02] party

[00:33:03] and create the vision.

[00:33:06] What do you want?

[00:33:07] What does that look like?

[00:33:09] And this gives

[00:33:11] you the opportunity to

[00:33:13] create a vision

[00:33:14] for your relationship

[00:33:15] and create a vision.

[00:33:16] The two of you

[00:33:17] a chance to truly uncover

[00:33:18] what do you want this next

[00:33:20] space, chapter,

[00:33:21] season

[00:33:22] to truly look like?

[00:33:23] What does that

[00:33:24] vision look like for

[00:33:25] your relationship

[00:33:26] in 2024

[00:33:27] and even beyond?

[00:33:28] Is it

[00:33:29] do you want to have children?

[00:33:31] Do you want to travel more?

[00:33:33] Do you want to

[00:33:35] have a certain amount

[00:33:36] maybe saved up

[00:33:37] for whatever?

[00:33:38] But what does that

[00:33:39] look like?

[00:33:40] And I think that's a great

[00:33:41] opportunity to do that.

[00:33:42] I know Valentine's Day can be

[00:33:44] it's

[00:33:45] it's a Wednesday,

[00:33:46] I believe this year.

[00:33:47] And so

[00:33:48] it's going to be crowded

[00:33:49] out you know at different

[00:33:50] restaurants.

[00:33:51] But this is something

[00:33:52] that you can make

[00:33:54] you can do this at home.

[00:33:55] You can have a nice

[00:33:56] quiet dinner at home.

[00:33:58] And then

[00:33:59] this can be the activity

[00:34:00] creating a vision for your

[00:34:02] future.

[00:34:03] You know, you can have

[00:34:04] the magazines

[00:34:05] maybe cut some pictures out

[00:34:07] or simply get a

[00:34:08] journal and write

[00:34:09] down what that vision

[00:34:10] is.

[00:34:11] And share it with each

[00:34:12] other.

[00:34:13] As you're sharing it,

[00:34:14] listen.

[00:34:15] Don't

[00:34:16] interject, but listen.

[00:34:17] Thank you for saying

[00:34:18] that because

[00:34:19] someone over the break

[00:34:21] after Christmas we

[00:34:23] always go to trip.

[00:34:24] And so we had

[00:34:25] gotten a new TV

[00:34:26] and there was this big

[00:34:28] piece of like

[00:34:30] really thick cardboard

[00:34:32] in it.

[00:34:33] And I was like,

[00:34:34] that's perfect for something.

[00:34:36] And so I held on to it

[00:34:37] and then when we were

[00:34:38] getting ready to go

[00:34:39] on our trip, I was like,

[00:34:40] this is

[00:34:41] this would be perfect

[00:34:42] for a shared vision board.

[00:34:43] And so

[00:34:44] because I am who

[00:34:45] I am, there is

[00:34:46] a stack of magazines

[00:34:47] that we're already

[00:34:48] in.

[00:34:49] So we had our magazine

[00:34:51] had my color paper

[00:34:53] and all the stuff

[00:34:54] and we took it and

[00:34:55] that was something

[00:34:56] that we did during

[00:34:57] the break

[00:34:58] is that shared vision

[00:34:59] board.

[00:35:00] And so

[00:35:01] because I am who I am,

[00:35:02] I am who I am,

[00:35:04] I am who I am.

[00:35:06] And so what I am

[00:35:07] talking about is

[00:35:08] the break is

[00:35:09] that shared vision board.

[00:35:10] And he started on one

[00:35:11] in.

[00:35:12] I started on one

[00:35:13] end and we kind

[00:35:14] of worked our way

[00:35:15] together.

[00:35:16] And it was interesting

[00:35:17] to see how some

[00:35:18] of the things

[00:35:19] that we picked were

[00:35:20] the same things.

[00:35:21] That was very important.

[00:35:22] It shows

[00:35:23] that we have a shared

[00:35:24] desire to reach

[00:35:25] the same goal.

[00:35:26] And that's

[00:35:27] important to me.

[00:35:28] So

[00:35:29] I love it.

[00:35:30] And that's something

[00:35:31] that I love.

[00:35:32] And it's a great

[00:35:33] place to have it.

[00:35:34] I love that idea.

[00:35:35] You put it in the

[00:35:36] bedroom.

[00:35:37] You look at it

[00:35:38] every day when you start

[00:35:39] to feel that

[00:35:40] disconnect.

[00:35:41] Yes.

[00:35:42] Go back

[00:35:43] to that vision.

[00:35:44] Okay.

[00:35:45] He got on my

[00:35:46] nerves today.

[00:35:47] I still love him though.

[00:35:48] Or she got on my nerves today.

[00:35:49] I still love him though.

[00:35:50] Right.

[00:35:51] We'll go back

[00:35:52] to this vision.

[00:35:53] Maybe we didn't see

[00:35:54] out of eye today.

[00:35:55] Right.

[00:35:56] But let's go back

[00:35:57] to the vision.

[00:35:58] And I love that idea

[00:35:59] of it.

[00:36:00] I'm going to say

[00:36:01] that we have a

[00:36:02] very good time to be

[00:36:03] in the

[00:36:04] room.

[00:36:05] But I would say let

[00:36:06] it be number four.

[00:36:07] What you can do for

[00:36:08] Valentine's Day is

[00:36:10] create a vision

[00:36:11] for your relationship.

[00:36:12] And even if

[00:36:13] you're single.

[00:36:14] Right.

[00:36:15] You are not in a

[00:36:16] relationship.

[00:36:17] What does the

[00:36:18] vision look like for you?

[00:36:19] What do you want

[00:36:20] in a partner?

[00:36:21] And I will say this.

[00:36:22] People get caught up in.

[00:36:24] You know,

[00:36:25] I read and heard

[00:36:26] podcast six feet six

[00:36:28] figures.

[00:36:29] I don't know if it's six

[00:36:30] inches.

[00:36:31] I don't know what

[00:36:32] it is.

[00:36:33] But it's something

[00:36:34] that, you know,

[00:36:35] just please be real

[00:36:36] with yourself.

[00:36:37] Right.

[00:36:38] You know,

[00:36:39] you can write down the

[00:36:40] qualities you want

[00:36:41] in that person.

[00:36:42] Right.

[00:36:43] Right.

[00:36:44] Respect.

[00:36:45] Right.

[00:36:46] Right.

[00:36:47] You know,

[00:36:48] do they know how to

[00:36:49] communicate?

[00:36:50] Right.

[00:36:51] You want to think about

[00:36:52] those things when you're

[00:36:53] putting that on your

[00:36:54] partner.

[00:36:55] You know,

[00:36:56] you want to think about that

[00:36:57] thing.

[00:36:58] But I like it when you

[00:36:59] are putting that on your

[00:37:00] vision.

[00:37:01] Not always this physical

[00:37:02] laundry list of things.

[00:37:03] Yes.

[00:37:04] You know,

[00:37:05] one thing we focus on

[00:37:06] that's important to us

[00:37:07] is just liking each

[00:37:08] other.

[00:37:09] And the other thing

[00:37:10] comes easy.

[00:37:11] I love several people

[00:37:13] that I don't necessarily

[00:37:14] want to see on a regular

[00:37:15] basis.

[00:37:16] But you have to like

[00:37:17] your partner.

[00:37:18] You have to have more

[00:37:19] than just that love

[00:37:20] there because love

[00:37:21] is not something

[00:37:22] you have to

[00:37:23] have more than just that

[00:37:24] love there because

[00:37:25] love, that

[00:37:26] was easy.

[00:37:27] It's the

[00:37:28] like that that's

[00:37:29] work.

[00:37:30] One thing

[00:37:31] before we do

[00:37:33] the extra stuff,

[00:37:34] I wanted you to

[00:37:36] expound on is,

[00:37:37] I know we're talking about

[00:37:38] about the times

[00:37:39] and we're talking about

[00:37:40] intimate touch

[00:37:41] and things like that.

[00:37:42] But what about

[00:37:44] the day-to-day?

[00:37:45] The Monday through Sunday.

[00:37:48] How can couples

[00:37:50] throughout the

[00:37:51] days to say,

[00:37:52] you know,

[00:37:53] she goes work,

[00:37:54] I go to work.

[00:37:55] We come home,

[00:37:56] we have

[00:37:57] doing a wood of some

[00:37:58] tips in between that

[00:37:59] time that you can

[00:38:00] recommend for

[00:38:01] couples to increase

[00:38:02] their

[00:38:03] enemies.

[00:38:04] Oh, great question.

[00:38:06] Daily intimacy tips.

[00:38:08] Okay, so the first

[00:38:09] thing is how you wake

[00:38:10] up in the morning,

[00:38:11] greeting them

[00:38:12] with a kiss,

[00:38:13] forehead kiss,

[00:38:15] cheeks lips

[00:38:17] before after your

[00:38:18] brush your teeth,

[00:38:19] whatever,

[00:38:20] you know,

[00:38:21] you know,

[00:38:22] you know,

[00:38:23] you know,

[00:38:24] you know,

[00:38:25] you know, as you are

[00:38:26] getting prepared

[00:38:27] for the day.

[00:38:28] Before each of you

[00:38:29] leaves say,

[00:38:30] you know,

[00:38:31] you have a great day-to-day

[00:38:32] or you will have a

[00:38:33] great day today,

[00:38:34] affirming each other,

[00:38:37] you know,

[00:38:38] sending you positive vibes

[00:38:39] and energy.

[00:38:41] You know, so that's

[00:38:42] even before you even

[00:38:43] leave the house.

[00:38:45] And the only touch

[00:38:46] was the kiss.

[00:38:47] Right.

[00:38:48] You know,

[00:38:49] hugging is great, you know,

[00:38:50] but it goes back

[00:38:51] to articulating

[00:38:52] that positive energy

[00:38:53] and that positive light

[00:38:54] to your partner.

[00:38:55] Okay, so that's

[00:38:56] in the morning.

[00:38:57] Throughout the day,

[00:38:58] you know, each of you

[00:38:59] are at work,

[00:39:00] whatever that looks like.

[00:39:01] If you're able to text,

[00:39:02] you know, say,

[00:39:03] hey, I was just thinking

[00:39:04] about you.

[00:39:05] You know,

[00:39:06] hope you're having a

[00:39:07] great day.

[00:39:08] Maybe some kissy emojis,

[00:39:09] you know,

[00:39:10] you know,

[00:39:11] you know,

[00:39:12] you know,

[00:39:13] you know,

[00:39:14] you have a great day.

[00:39:15] Maybe some kissy emojis,

[00:39:16] you know,

[00:39:17] so you know,

[00:39:18] little things like

[00:39:19] that and you can

[00:39:20] be really,

[00:39:21] really playful and fun

[00:39:22] if you want to

[00:39:23] have some

[00:39:32] sex team involved and

[00:39:33] go into the bathroom

[00:39:35] and show a little

[00:39:36] cleavage or something

[00:39:41] and say,

[00:39:43] you know,

[00:39:44] That's always fun.

[00:39:47] And then when you get home, how was your day?

[00:39:52] In listen, if your partner is the one that comes home

[00:39:57] and they don't want to talk at first,

[00:40:00] they need some time to decompress,

[00:40:03] respecting them as they do that.

[00:40:05] That's a part of intimacy.

[00:40:07] It is just pretty much acknowledging they need that time.

[00:40:11] They need their quiet time.

[00:40:13] Okay, know what bends to you.

[00:40:16] If you are like that,

[00:40:18] you want to communicate that to your partner head of time.

[00:40:21] Don't just come home and not talk to them.

[00:40:24] Let them know ahead of time.

[00:40:26] When I come home,

[00:40:28] I just kind of like decompress for a few minutes.

[00:40:31] Being I can share with you how my day was.

[00:40:34] Once you go through all of that,

[00:40:36] you ask someone,

[00:40:37] how was your day?

[00:40:38] And be detailed because we want to know.

[00:40:40] And say,

[00:40:43] I can't sell Coke and listen when my day was like this.

[00:40:46] Buh.

[00:40:48] Buh.

[00:40:49] Buh.

[00:40:50] Buh.

[00:40:51] Buh.

[00:40:52] Buh.

[00:40:53] Buh.

[00:40:54] Truly be in tune as you are talking to each other.

[00:40:57] You know, don't just be talking any other person is like.

[00:41:00] Buh.

[00:41:01] Buh.

[00:41:02] Buh.

[00:41:03] Buh.

[00:41:04] Buh.

[00:41:05] Like what you say, huh?

[00:41:06] So you want to be mindful of what that person is telling you.

[00:41:09] You can see how you look after finished eating.

[00:41:11] All of those are forms of intimacy.

[00:41:14] And then you can go to,

[00:41:17] you know, get to the bedroom.

[00:41:19] The bedroom.

[00:41:20] You know,

[00:41:22] but all of this is for play.

[00:41:24] All of this,

[00:41:25] these little things,

[00:41:26] these food and nuances are for play.

[00:41:28] It's, you know,

[00:41:29] it makes y'all tingly throughout the day.

[00:41:31] Like,

[00:41:32] You know, my man takes me,

[00:41:34] you know, whatever.

[00:41:35] My lady takes me,

[00:41:36] whatever, you know,

[00:41:37] just to make y'all giddy inside.

[00:41:38] And so all of that is for play that leads up to that moment

[00:41:42] that could possibly happen at night,

[00:41:44] or maybe the next morning.

[00:41:46] Right.

[00:41:47] I can tell you there's nothing

[00:41:50] that can brighten a man's day.

[00:41:52] To know he don't get something.

[00:41:54] Oh yeah.

[00:41:56] It was done with women knowing she gonna get some too.

[00:42:01] That's right.

[00:42:02] That's right.

[00:42:03] You can always give me your kind of thing.

[00:42:05] You can always give me your kind of thing.

[00:42:06] Oh yeah,

[00:42:09] you can be spontaneous with it.

[00:42:11] All of that, you know,

[00:42:13] if he is watching TV,

[00:42:16] you can excuse yourself,

[00:42:18] go to the bathroom,

[00:42:19] draw him some bath water.

[00:42:21] Go back to the liver room.

[00:42:23] Just get his hand and he's coming like where are we going?

[00:42:26] You have to say a word,

[00:42:27] just lift him up,

[00:42:28] come on.

[00:42:30] He'll follow your lead.

[00:42:31] You have to say a word.

[00:42:32] Say it comes to the bathroom, just, you know, just roll them, take his clothes off, he'll

[00:42:38] be like, I'll tell you one thing, he will be happy.

[00:42:42] Yes.

[00:42:43] That's a looping.

[00:42:45] Oh, yes.

[00:42:46] That is you.

[00:42:47] And that's how you get your song.

[00:42:49] You should have made some funny.

[00:42:50] Well, proud of this catering now.

[00:42:53] I know.

[00:42:54] It took cater to you and made that toxic.

[00:42:57] I'm like that though.

[00:42:59] Yeah, that's it.

[00:43:02] Yeah.

[00:43:03] And showing your partner and if you can't be vulnerable and show your partner love, then

[00:43:08] you probably don't deserve it.

[00:43:10] That's right.

[00:43:11] Right.

[00:43:12] You probably don't deserve to be in that relationship.

[00:43:14] That's right.

[00:43:15] Right.

[00:43:16] Yeah.

[00:43:17] Questions, Miss Mackie.

[00:43:18] I think I'm done.

[00:43:19] I'm ready to get to the good part.

[00:43:21] All right.

[00:43:23] Baby, we need to talk.

[00:43:27] Huh?

[00:43:33] Now let's discuss it.

[00:43:41] It's going to be a doubt only.

[00:43:44] Not they work.

[00:43:46] Yeah.

[00:43:48] We are going to get some tips.

[00:43:51] We're going to see some toys.

[00:43:53] We're going to learn some stuff so that we can really spice it up.

[00:43:57] So, okay, they're more.

[00:44:00] All right.

[00:44:02] All right.

[00:44:03] Well, let's start with the I was looking on your Instagram.

[00:44:05] I think Sunday's topic was good head.

[00:44:08] Oh, yes.

[00:44:10] Let's start because.

[00:44:11] Yes.

[00:44:12] That was good head.

[00:44:13] And so I have polatial classes and.

[00:44:17] I had a zoom session with several women on how to give good hair different techniques.

[00:44:27] Mouth movements and.

[00:44:31] And making sure they have enough saliva in the mouth, how to avoid.

[00:44:36] I'm gagging all of that.

[00:44:38] So I'm not.

[00:44:40] I will demonstrate because.

[00:44:44] You're audience may.

[00:44:47] You know, I'm a fan.

[00:44:49] You know, you.

[00:44:51] But we're going to warn them.

[00:44:54] If I don't, you know, if the giggle reflex that didn't.

[00:44:59] And so you said there's a group so they're on zoom and see even in that.

[00:45:08] So you're going to see a group of people who are like.

[00:45:13] You know, how do you create that comfort with that?

[00:45:17] Which I'm asking you that but we've spoken with you now twice and I can see how you can ease people into which.

[00:45:25] And there's a level of.

[00:45:28] I think that's why it's so.

[00:45:30] And I'm really happy with the fact that it's very professional sounding when you say giving head.

[00:45:36] So I'm sure it helps ease people's mind but I can't even imagine what their zoom screen looks like.

[00:45:43] Yeah, quite interesting.

[00:45:45] So, you know, I.

[00:45:46] What would they sign up for the class?

[00:45:48] You know, I tell them to bring a toothbrush and a toy because those are the demonstrations.

[00:45:54] And I tell them that this is a safe space.

[00:45:57] You know, judgment you're here to learn we're going to have fun if you need to relax because I get it.

[00:46:02] We're talking about sex.

[00:46:03] We're talking about, you know, the competitiveness.

[00:46:06] So it's one of those things where whatever your advice is I have wine.

[00:46:11] If you want to take time out to get some wine.

[00:46:13] Okay, that's great.

[00:46:14] But we're all here to to learn.

[00:46:16] Right.

[00:46:17] And fun at the same time.

[00:46:19] I think it was one young lady.

[00:46:21] She had the giggles as well.

[00:46:23] Lovely woman.

[00:46:25] She was, you know, 56.

[00:46:27] And it's the space to share stories.

[00:46:29] Yeah.

[00:46:30] And so 56.

[00:46:32] She has been divorced.

[00:46:34] You know, and she is getting back out into the scene again.

[00:46:37] She is interested in this gentleman.

[00:46:40] And she wants to learn how to, you know, please him.

[00:46:44] You know, she ain't in that.

[00:46:46] Right.

[00:46:47] I was just so glad that you are a resource for individuals.

[00:46:51] And that we are at a point where we can be open and honest.

[00:46:57] And that's what I'm going to do.

[00:46:59] And then we'll see if you can get it back.

[00:47:01] And I'm going to make sure that you can feel it.

[00:47:03] And then I'm going to give you that.

[00:47:04] And I'm going to give you that.

[00:47:06] Okay.

[00:47:07] I'm going to give you that.

[00:47:08] Thank you.

[00:47:09] Thank you.

[00:47:10] Thank you.

[00:47:11] Thank you.

[00:47:12] Thank you.

[00:47:13] Thank you.

[00:47:15] And then we are at a point to where we can be open and honest about.

[00:47:18] Sex.

[00:47:19] And about what goes on in the bedroom.

[00:47:21] And I want to please my man.

[00:47:23] I want to make sure that he is satisfied versus trying to hide it,

[00:47:29] or making things inappropriate.

[00:47:32] Yeah.

[00:47:33] Right.

[00:47:34] Or just not saying anything at all going with the flow but not really enjoying it

[00:47:38] because one thing is it needs to be pleasurable.

[00:47:42] And I'm going to give you that.

[00:47:44] That's the whole experience with that.

[00:47:46] So with the giving heads.

[00:47:48] Can I show my toy or?

[00:47:50] Yes.

[00:47:51] Okay.

[00:47:52] So this is my brain.

[00:47:54] And so this is what I demonstrate on.

[00:47:57] And so before we even get into the techniques,

[00:48:00] I go over the anatomy of the penis because in my mind,

[00:48:03] the penis is a work of art.

[00:48:05] Like.

[00:48:06] And you know,

[00:48:07] depending on who is attached to.

[00:48:10] You know what?

[00:48:12] Let me tell you.

[00:48:14] You just came.

[00:48:17] Oh, right.

[00:48:20] All right.

[00:48:21] All right.

[00:48:22] Oh, I had a last back of my boyfriend right there.

[00:48:25] It's.

[00:48:27] When it is attached to the right person that is for you,

[00:48:31] it can make the experience so much more enjoyable because.

[00:48:36] You are doing this because for one,

[00:48:38] you like to do it.

[00:48:39] Right.

[00:48:40] Let's start the starts with a positive attitude.

[00:48:43] You know, if you don't like to do this,

[00:48:46] that's fine.

[00:48:47] But if you truly have to enjoy it because if it's any type

[00:48:50] of negative energy,

[00:48:51] oh yeah,

[00:48:52] then the hair game is not going to be good at all.

[00:48:55] At all.

[00:48:56] So you want to start over the positive attitude.

[00:48:59] So I talk about that.

[00:49:00] I talk about the anatomy.

[00:49:02] The sensitive area is right here at the head.

[00:49:05] I'm it's 4,000 nerves right here at the head.

[00:49:08] Okay.

[00:49:09] All right.

[00:49:10] So I talk about you know how to suck,

[00:49:12] how to kiss here,

[00:49:14] talking about the shaft.

[00:49:16] You know,

[00:49:17] I teach them how to suck and lick and kiss the shaft.

[00:49:20] The running alum is this area right here?

[00:49:23] That's going to be that real sensitive part.

[00:49:25] He's over there nine and said yes.

[00:49:28] It's sensitive area right there.

[00:49:30] It's not talk about this stuff.

[00:49:32] I do all of this before we even get into opening our mouths

[00:49:35] and seeing how low can we go.

[00:49:37] Okay.

[00:49:38] And I talk about you know the size,

[00:49:41] just like every woman,

[00:49:42] every guy is different.

[00:49:44] You know,

[00:49:45] earth and lean.

[00:49:46] So some men are more girthy,

[00:49:48] they're wider.

[00:49:49] Some men may have more lean.

[00:49:52] I call them skinny dicks.

[00:49:53] Oops, sorry.

[00:49:54] Skinny pink.

[00:49:55] I'm not.

[00:49:56] I'm not.

[00:49:57] I'm not.

[00:49:58] I'm not.

[00:49:59] I'm not.

[00:50:00] I'm not.

[00:50:01] I'm not.

[00:50:02] I'm not.

[00:50:03] I'm not.

[00:50:04] You can help the health center.

[00:50:06] Also,

[00:50:07] I'm not.

[00:50:08] It's up to the head.

[00:50:10] Keith.

[00:50:11] Keep it next.

[00:50:12] Don't get that.

[00:50:13] Keep it next.

[00:50:14] Or they may be both

[00:50:15] because they have the guard handling.

[00:50:16] Okay.

[00:50:17] And then I'll talk about the balls.

[00:50:20] Some men like for them to be stressed juggling a mouse.

[00:50:24] Some men may not like that.

[00:50:25] So you want to make sure that you ask him.

[00:50:27] Right.

[00:50:28] Do you like for me to kiss?

[00:50:29] be careful when you are down there. And then I go into some mouth exercises, I have my

[00:50:35] handy-dandy toothbrush and I show them techniques on how to use this to avoid gagging.

[00:50:42] I have a playlist because you want to get mentally prepared for that.

[00:50:46] And then I just go into the different toilet techniques.

[00:50:51] All right.

[00:50:52] I'm going to talk about swallowing and spitting.

[00:50:55] I'm team swallow, but I'm only team swallow if your diet is right.

[00:50:59] Right.

[00:51:00] The conversation about the foods that you're eating.

[00:51:03] Right.

[00:51:04] Because no woman or no man, if it's in a same-sex relationship wants to taste spunkies

[00:51:09] fun and all.

[00:51:10] Right.

[00:51:11] Yeah.

[00:51:12] I do not want funky gizziness juice.

[00:51:14] That's something that I didn't know.

[00:51:19] Again.

[00:51:20] There's a urologist I follow on YouTube.

[00:51:23] She's an Indian woman, you're probably a senior.

[00:51:25] But she has great information on that type of stuff and I'm like, man, I didn't even

[00:51:29] know nothing about my junk and two.

[00:51:32] Oh yes.

[00:51:33] You know, it's just amazing.

[00:51:35] Right.

[00:51:36] And that's what, like sitting here listening to you and listening to the information and

[00:51:43] how you're presenting it to clients is like a whole new world for people.

[00:51:49] I can't imagine how it feels to learn these things and then to be able to go home and

[00:51:56] practice and all this other stuff with this new knowledge because that to me is powerful.

[00:52:02] That knowledge is powerful.

[00:52:06] And so you mentioned toys earlier when you have, when you have men and women come in or

[00:52:15] you're referring to toys, are you meaning for just women or just men?

[00:52:20] Do you have couples who come in together to learn because I know that even like with

[00:52:27] women directing men to what they like, that's another area where it can hurt the ego.

[00:52:34] If a woman says, well, let's try this.

[00:52:36] To answer your question when they come together, so if you picture this and if, you know,

[00:52:43] the listeners go to my Instagram, they'll see where I have classes.

[00:52:46] So the classes are like a sit in Dallas and the space is essential, erotic space.

[00:52:51] Okay.

[00:52:52] It is full of erotic arts on the wall and we call it the red room because it isn't

[00:52:59] red.

[00:53:00] Okay.

[00:53:01] So we have like six furniture when I say that we have like certain sofas that are designed

[00:53:07] for different positions when it comes to sex.

[00:53:11] We have a spanking bench, we have bloggers, we have paddles on the wall, we have a suspension

[00:53:22] play where you can be suspended in air.

[00:53:24] So we have a lot of different toys and I don't want to say things but it gets things

[00:53:31] different.

[00:53:32] Different things that you can try to spice up the sex life, okay?

[00:53:38] And so that is throughout the room, okay?

[00:53:42] And so when they get there, first of all, they're like, oh my gosh, what am I getting

[00:53:47] into?

[00:53:48] I had no idea.

[00:53:49] Like, what are you doing?

[00:53:50] What are you going to do with it?

[00:53:51] Instagram, I was like, man, is that her room?

[00:53:54] I mean, I knew it was a blaze, but I'm like, right, right.

[00:53:58] And so it's designed that way.

[00:54:00] Yes, it's designed that way so you can get this so you can be comfortable for one thing.

[00:54:07] And so you can probably take some of these ideas and create that extra room in your house

[00:54:13] to be your sensual sex space.

[00:54:16] And so we have all of that in there.

[00:54:17] So when they get in there, they're looking around, we give them a tour and they're like,

[00:54:21] oh my goodness, I never thought about this or I never thought about that.

[00:54:27] The biggest thing is the education on how to use these different toys.

[00:54:32] We talk about consent, we talk about safe words.

[00:54:35] You could be married for 30 years.

[00:54:37] I still need consent, right?

[00:54:39] You know, to do this particular act.

[00:54:43] We still need to have a safe word.

[00:54:46] So I talk about all of that before we even get started with anything.

[00:54:50] So you know, I ask them consent, you know, can I touch your arm because you're not getting

[00:54:55] rid of me?

[00:54:57] Right.

[00:54:58] Make sure I have that and then I show them the different toys.

[00:55:02] So one of the toys that I showed in the video was now, I'm into kink.

[00:55:11] And so when you're into kink, it's how you can be turned on but you don't necessarily

[00:55:18] need this particular act or device or toy to have an orgasm.

[00:55:22] Okay.

[00:55:23] It's pleasurable for me.

[00:55:25] I enjoy it is stimulating now in terms of BDSM, which is a little bit different.

[00:55:32] That is where it more of an energy exchange.

[00:55:35] Okay.

[00:55:36] So for the listeners, when it comes to BDSM, if you think of 50 shades of gray, that's one

[00:55:43] end of that.

[00:55:44] Okay.

[00:55:45] Okay.

[00:55:46] So BDSM is going to be your bondage, dominant, your discipline, being submissive.

[00:55:54] Okay.

[00:55:55] And being a sadism or a sadomasochism.

[00:55:58] Okay.

[00:55:59] So pretty much all that sums up in very few words is do you like to be restrained?

[00:56:07] Do you like to be more dominant in the bedroom, meaning that you have more of this take control,

[00:56:13] dominant energy?

[00:56:15] Do you like to be more of a submissive?

[00:56:17] Where you tell me what, where are you if you tell me what to do than I'll do it.

[00:56:21] Okay.

[00:56:22] That's being a sad okay.

[00:56:25] And then when it comes to sadism, that's the person who is inflicting the pain on that

[00:56:29] person.

[00:56:30] Okay.

[00:56:31] So maybe that's your thing.

[00:56:32] That's what you like to do.

[00:56:34] That turns you on.

[00:56:36] All right.

[00:56:38] And then sadomasochism is a person that's receiving the pain.

[00:56:41] They like the pain to be inflicted on them.

[00:56:44] And so many, yeah, the different levels of pain.

[00:56:49] For me, I like a little bit of pain.

[00:56:52] Not a lot, just a little, but I do like it.

[00:56:55] Now you said kink.

[00:56:57] So explain the BDSM.

[00:57:00] What exactly is kink?

[00:57:03] So kink is one of those things where you can wear your kink out loud.

[00:57:07] So for some people they may wear a collar.

[00:57:09] Okay.

[00:57:10] That's their kink.

[00:57:11] It's pleasurable to them, they like it.

[00:57:16] It's stimulating to them so they may wear a collar.

[00:57:19] They may wear, depending on what it is, maybe like a corset.

[00:57:23] Okay.

[00:57:24] They're forcing themselves with their kink.

[00:57:29] For me personally, I like to wear collar just because you know, I think it's sexy and

[00:57:35] it's cute and it's fun.

[00:57:37] And it's not necessarily the physical.

[00:57:40] It's more of the emotional and mental space that it could do.

[00:57:45] Okay.

[00:57:46] Right.

[00:57:47] It could be where you like before.

[00:57:51] It could be where your kink could be, you know, you like to wear fishnets.

[00:57:54] Okay.

[00:57:55] Yeah, just that stimulates you mentally.

[00:57:59] You like to wear those fishnets or you like to wear the very high heels.

[00:58:05] I know.

[00:58:06] All of that is being, you know, kinky.

[00:58:09] Okay.

[00:58:10] Okay.

[00:58:11] That's how you know, you hear the phrase wearing your kink out loud and that's what that

[00:58:16] is.

[00:58:17] Okay.

[00:58:18] That makes sense.

[00:58:19] Yeah.

[00:58:20] In the bedroom, that kink for me turns into a little bit of kink as well as bondage.

[00:58:28] I like to be restrained meaning that I like handcuffs, ropes.

[00:58:32] I like to have, you know, my sense of sight taken away.

[00:58:35] Wow.

[00:58:36] Because I don't need to expect.

[00:58:37] Right.

[00:58:38] Wow.

[00:58:39] Right.

[00:58:40] Yeah.

[00:58:41] That just like made me a little bit anxious.

[00:58:43] I'm going to come to Torch.

[00:58:45] Let me do it way.

[00:58:46] That's your homework tonight.

[00:58:48] Blanco.

[00:58:49] Yeah.

[00:58:50] That could also be if you're going into wax play.

[00:58:55] I like to have hot wax poured on me.

[00:58:59] But it stimulates me.

[00:59:01] It's just, I don't know.

[00:59:02] It's just very, very.

[00:59:03] In the end.

[00:59:04] It's mine.

[00:59:05] It's me.

[00:59:06] It's mine blowing to me because I'm like there's a lot of extra work.

[00:59:11] It's a lot of stuff going into this.

[00:59:16] I don't know about all of you.

[00:59:18] And it doesn't have to be in one setting.

[00:59:20] Right.

[00:59:21] So I, you know, I tell my boyfriend, you know, bring the goodie bag when you come and he already

[00:59:26] knows what that means.

[00:59:28] Okay.

[00:59:29] So it can be very, very playful.

[00:59:31] You know, you can use like this is a candle that I have and it's safe for the skin.

[00:59:39] Okay.

[00:59:40] It turns into a massage oil.

[00:59:42] Okay.

[00:59:43] So if you're pulling this was not a partner store.

[00:59:47] Please don't buy it at the dollar 25 or a bath and body works.

[00:59:53] Oh, you were a third green barn.

[00:59:55] Okay.

[00:59:56] I think you put that in there because it burns me.

[01:00:01] That's another game.

[01:00:03] I don't know.

[01:00:04] We don't want that.

[01:00:05] So we do, you know, any type of wax play is the, the soy wax is good.

[01:00:11] Okay.

[01:00:12] And this is a really good one because what it does, it just turns into a massage oil.

[01:00:16] So, you know, it's not a lot of work.

[01:00:20] It's one of those things.

[01:00:21] Your point is on this person and you just rub it into the skin, creating this massage.

[01:00:25] And that's all it is.

[01:00:26] That sounds great.

[01:00:28] Right.

[01:00:29] Yes.

[01:00:30] Because you know, like when I look at the movies and stuff like that, you know,

[01:00:34] and they've had this intimate thing going on, they always use their old candle that's

[01:00:39] missing on the down and on the plate.

[01:00:41] You don't know.

[01:00:42] Hey, you're doing that.

[01:00:44] Yes.

[01:00:45] So you don't want that.

[01:00:47] But so these are by bear claws.

[01:00:50] Oh, I saw those on.

[01:00:52] Yeah.

[01:00:53] And yes, these are our meat.

[01:00:55] Yes.

[01:00:56] Yeah.

[01:00:57] Yeah.

[01:00:58] How is this?

[01:00:59] How do you think of Wolverine?

[01:01:03] But it comes in different, it comes in plastic and it comes in metal.

[01:01:10] Okay.

[01:01:11] So when you are using this on your partner, it creates a different sensation on the skin

[01:01:17] because the skin is one big sensitive organ on the body.

[01:01:22] Okay.

[01:01:23] And so when you are using this on the skin, it can feel very different.

[01:01:28] The arms, the back of the neck going down to the lower part of the back, the thighs,

[01:01:34] the legs, all of this.

[01:01:35] So bear claws are always fun.

[01:01:37] I like these if you're into a little bit of pain, creating that that stinging sensation,

[01:01:43] kind of like a needle.

[01:01:44] Yeah.

[01:01:45] And then you just depend on the pressure, the ways in the skin.

[01:01:52] So yeah.

[01:01:53] See that?

[01:01:54] Right here on a back that would put me right this lead.

[01:01:59] Right.

[01:02:00] And the metal is going to feel a little bit pricklier because it is metal with the points.

[01:02:07] So all of this is what I would go over in class on how to touch a partner using different items.

[01:02:15] Right.

[01:02:16] And they try it out to say, oh, I really like that.

[01:02:19] That feels really, really good against my skin.

[01:02:24] And so I feel like this little bag that I have and we just have fun and play with different toys.

[01:02:30] What?

[01:02:31] I was in the same sensation.

[01:02:33] And I felt like, I was like, well, I don't know what to do.

[01:02:38] I'm not going to be able to do that.

[01:02:40] And then I'm actually going to be able to do this.

[01:02:43] Some of the stuff like I want to take a class.

[01:02:46] I thought about, like, you know, but I would get older.

[01:02:49] I'm going to be like, I tried at least one time.

[01:02:53] Yeah.

[01:02:54] Like a hot lot of the hatred.

[01:02:57] She didn't mess with me for a little while.

[01:02:59] I'm not doing it.

[01:03:00] Well, you know what?

[01:03:01] That's another shot.

[01:03:02] You know, that is another.

[01:03:06] Another shot.

[01:03:08] When, um, oh, God, it was when Steph Curry's parents split up, there was this viral tweet that went around where this guy is like, just go home.

[01:03:22] And he said they're pagan out here.

[01:03:25] And so after that, you know, that's been my thing.

[01:03:28] And I'm like, you know what?

[01:03:29] It's just a little just a little poke.

[01:03:31] You know what?

[01:03:32] Just a little poke.

[01:03:34] No.

[01:03:37] You know, you never know.

[01:03:41] And it is, it's the prostate.

[01:03:44] So it's that's why it's so I'm stimulating for for me because that's their G spot.

[01:03:51] So if you, you can massage it.

[01:03:54] Um, and it's called massage in the prostate.

[01:03:56] You can massage that in a man can truly have an orgasm.

[01:04:00] And so when it comes to anal sex, you know, if you are going to pick, you know, lubrication.

[01:04:09] That is a conversation you want to have way ahead of time because that's, that's, that's a different world.

[01:04:17] That's a different energy right there for a woman to wear a strap on or to have a, a deal though.

[01:04:26] Or a vibrator to insert in the anus of a man is something that needs to be had the conversation anyway.

[01:04:34] The conversation needs to be had.

[01:04:36] And then you can post it on different social media like groups like, uh, and that's when we usually have fun with it.

[01:04:43] Because they're, we're a part of this one group in this married life and it's un-sensor so it's like

[01:04:49] you can post questions anonymously or what right?

[01:04:52] Right.

[01:04:53] And so somebody posting the thing about picking one day.

[01:04:57] And some of the, you know, of course most of the men were like, nah, ain't with that but it was a few.

[01:05:02] A lot of the women were like, yeah, I want to try it on.

[01:05:06] Some women actually said my husband has tried it before.

[01:05:09] You know?

[01:05:10] It's interesting to take on that.

[01:05:12] And that all goes back to in the first statement when we talked about just being comfortable and then you've provided a space

[01:05:22] and we all, it, we need to learn how to communicate about sex.

[01:05:27] It doesn't need to be a taboo topic because what you like you like and if it's not involving me then it's none of my business.

[01:05:39] Mom and I should respect your likes and your dislikes and you should respect mine so I'm glad that you are providing this space.

[01:05:49] Not only feel comfortable but to learn more and to you're sharing with us now and it's okay that, you know,

[01:05:58] there are these things that are maybe outside of the norm that you enjoy with your partner and things.

[01:06:04] So I'm just thankful that you have created this space and that you are here sharing this information.

[01:06:12] Oh, we appreciate it.

[01:06:14] Yes, yes.

[01:06:16] All right, so did you want to ask your question?

[01:06:19] Oh, my question now.

[01:06:20] Do you remember it?

[01:06:22] Yeah, that vaginal tips for the men who are faintly know what they're doing or may not know what they're doing.

[01:06:33] What is some?

[01:06:34] So for tips on loving and kissing the vulva area.

[01:06:42] So those lips.

[01:06:45] So this is my brain.

[01:06:49] And so I use this for, you know, demonstration with showing anatomy.

[01:06:53] So basically the outer lips.

[01:06:55] So the tips are the outer lips.

[01:06:57] You want to suck and kiss maybe gentle just blowing on it very gently, you know, like what have you.

[01:07:06] Then you can use the tongue to work your way around the area, navigating your way around.

[01:07:12] If you're going to use your fingers make sure that your finger, your nails,

[01:07:16] but are you know, trim no hanging nails because that can hurt.

[01:07:22] Yes.

[01:07:23] So when you're down there, you know, you're navigating your way really kissing and just, you know, the clitoris is really, really sensitive.

[01:07:33] Okay.

[01:07:34] Now the clitoris which this is the clip all of this is a clitoris.

[01:07:40] Okay.

[01:07:41] But the only part that you see is this right here.

[01:07:45] Oh, this is inside of the one.

[01:07:48] And so at the end of the day, the clitoris is pretty much like a penis.

[01:07:53] You got the balls right here and the head right there.

[01:07:56] Okay.

[01:07:57] I heard that.

[01:07:58] Right.

[01:07:59] Now the clitoris has 10,000 nerve endings.

[01:08:02] So if you're going to get on anybody's nerves, get on this nerve right now.

[01:08:09] That's right.

[01:08:10] One big.

[01:08:11] So when you're down there and every woman is different, some clips are out somewhere in.

[01:08:18] Okay.

[01:08:19] I call them innings.

[01:08:20] Some lips are longer.

[01:08:22] Some lips are not as long.

[01:08:24] That's okay.

[01:08:25] But when you get to the clip, it's really just maybe a circle of motion with your finger or with your tongue.

[01:08:32] You know, sucking on it, licking on it, just being very gentle with it.

[01:08:37] Now every woman is different.

[01:08:39] She may want you to go harder, faster, slower.

[01:08:42] That's me.

[01:08:43] You got to pick up on those cues.

[01:08:46] But the biggest tip is to learn her and what she likes because everyone's playbook is different.

[01:08:54] Right.

[01:08:55] Right.

[01:08:56] Knowing her body, paying attention.

[01:08:58] I know you're down there in the head as muffled.

[01:09:00] Yeah.

[01:09:01] So if she's telling you don't stop, stay right there.

[01:09:04] You might want to stay right there.

[01:09:06] Right.

[01:09:07] Whatever motion you're doing, she's enjoying that because that is letting you know that she's probably getting ready to to climax and have an orgasm.

[01:09:17] But the biggest thing is, you know, before you even start to kissing on the lips, just going down there and just taking your finger and just running across the lips.

[01:09:27] Just start with the motion.

[01:09:29] Not necessarily fingering her, but just paying attention to the lips.

[01:09:34] It's like a roadmap.

[01:09:36] You know, like where is this journey going to take me?

[01:09:39] Then you can start to kiss the lips softly gently.

[01:09:43] Okay.

[01:09:44] During this time, ask what like this, how does this feel making her relax and comfortable?

[01:09:53] Okay.

[01:09:54] Then use your, your tone.

[01:09:57] You know, once again, hygiene is key.

[01:10:01] Make sure you don't have any math sores.

[01:10:06] Please make sure that, you know, you don't have any math sores or any sores around the mouth.

[01:10:14] Once again, fingers.

[01:10:17] Make sure those nails are clipped if it's, you know, two women together and maybe the person has, you know, fingernails.

[01:10:23] Just be cautious of that.

[01:10:25] Maybe you have a handy, dandy glove that you cut out and maybe you have like two fingernails and the other nails aren't long.

[01:10:32] Whatever.

[01:10:33] You gotta be creative when you're down there.

[01:10:36] And just paying attention to your partner's body language and how they're moving.

[01:10:41] You can tell if she's starting those legs, starting to tremble.

[01:10:45] You know, she's starting to shake.

[01:10:47] Maybe she is really enjoying it and she's getting ready to come.

[01:10:52] Women hygiene is key.

[01:10:55] Yes.

[01:10:56] Yeah, it can smell you a mile away if you say, you know what?

[01:11:01] You know, it was, it was an interesting post on that same Facebook, where some people were saying wash before.

[01:11:09] And some men were actually like, I like oldie walking around the tent and that was like, what?

[01:11:17] Now it depends on where she's been walking.

[01:11:20] Right.

[01:11:21] Because we all have, she's walking.

[01:11:25] Right.

[01:11:26] We all have our own scent.

[01:11:28] Right.

[01:11:29] And we have a scent that's natural, not necessarily pungent or funky.

[01:11:36] It's just we all have a natural, a natural scent.

[01:11:40] We do.

[01:11:41] My thing is, you know, it's pungent.

[01:11:45] You can, you know, that can come off as loud and foul way before he even goes, goes there.

[01:11:55] So you want to make sure that you are clean, that you have properly washed the lips.

[01:12:03] You know, pull back the head of the skin of the clip because sometimes the clip may have that little scan over it.

[01:12:11] And so you pull that hood back and you know, you get her.

[01:12:15] You wash her properly.

[01:12:18] She doesn't need a whole lot.

[01:12:20] She doesn't need all these different fragrances.

[01:12:23] You know, some warm water, whatever body wash that you may use and you're going to wash just those lips.

[01:12:31] You don't need to wash up inside of her.

[01:12:33] Right.

[01:12:34] You know, the lips.

[01:12:36] And yeah, but hygiene is key.

[01:12:38] Also another thing is if a woman is on any type of medication, can affect her juices.

[01:12:45] So you can be on antibiotics for one thing, but sometimes it can affect the juices.

[01:12:51] So, you know, just be aware of all of that.

[01:12:54] But those are tips I would say for if you're going down there to study your partner navigate that pleasure mapping is what I like to call it.

[01:13:03] Use your fingers.

[01:13:05] Make sure that those nails, no hanging nails.

[01:13:08] Use your tongue.

[01:13:10] Listen to what she's telling you.

[01:13:12] Right.

[01:13:14] And that the clip is very, very sensitive.

[01:13:18] I'm just going to see it 12.

[01:13:20] Take a damn band and wash your hands.

[01:13:23] Make sure that the night is right because what you don't want to do.

[01:13:28] Let's be funky in any kind of way.

[01:13:31] Wash each other.

[01:13:34] There you go.

[01:13:36] Wash each other.

[01:13:38] You know, lift his penis up.

[01:13:40] Get the balls.

[01:13:41] Wash him real good.

[01:13:42] Get all of that.

[01:13:43] That's right.

[01:13:44] Use right.

[01:13:45] And you mentioned medication, and that's something that, and it comes with knowing your body for one, but I had a medication that I was taking.

[01:13:57] I was taking for depression.

[01:14:00] Probably about two weeks in, I realized there was a difference in my body.

[01:14:06] And so I had to put on my big girl panties and go tell my doctor, look.

[01:14:11] I'm taking this for depression.

[01:14:14] It's not working properly.

[01:14:16] So I'm even more depressed.

[01:14:18] Would you call to you the press too?

[01:14:20] Yes, that's what I mean.

[01:14:21] It wasn't working properly.

[01:14:23] Right.

[01:14:24] And I'm like, look, I was depressed before, but now I'm really upset because.

[01:14:28] And now she's depressed.

[01:14:29] Right.

[01:14:30] She's not doing what she's supposed to do.

[01:14:33] And it was a male doctor, but that was something that if I'm being treated for depression and then there's something else added to it.

[01:14:43] What good is it to, so I went in and we talked and he was able to change the medication.

[01:14:49] And he said that's a side effect that some people have.

[01:14:52] So we'll try this.

[01:14:54] So when you said medication that made me think of that.

[01:14:57] But I know my body.

[01:14:59] I know what my body is capable of.

[01:15:01] I know how to get to where I'm going with my body and because of the thing, I knew okay.

[01:15:07] I started this two weeks ago.

[01:15:09] And now we can't get to our destination properly.

[01:15:13] We got to fix this.

[01:15:15] Right.

[01:15:16] And those are the conversations that you have.

[01:15:19] So you mentioned, you know, two good things knowing your body.

[01:15:23] Something is not right.

[01:15:25] What has changed within this timeframe?

[01:15:28] Oh, I'm on this medication or oh, maybe to try this new food or oh, you know, I took this out of my diet.

[01:15:35] And so you want to be aware of how your body is changing.

[01:15:39] If you learn, you know, trying any type of medication to prevent one thing it can create havoc if you will in other areas of your body.

[01:15:50] Same with me and you know, you can be taking one thing.

[01:15:53] Next thing you know, the erection isn't there.

[01:15:56] Right.

[01:15:57] But affecting that blood flow, what's going on?

[01:16:00] So you need to learn yourself, know your...

[01:16:05] It is.

[01:16:07] ...prestead to do your doctor.

[01:16:09] Right. Don't let that become an issue.

[01:16:12] Speak up.

[01:16:13] Right.

[01:16:14] Right.

[01:16:16] So we hate to do it, but it's time to come to an end.

[01:16:19] Okay.

[01:16:20] Well, this has been wonderful.

[01:16:22] So if our listeners want to find you and get more information and learn about your services, where do they need to go?

[01:16:32] So you can go to my website.

[01:16:34] It is twilabegood.com.

[01:16:37] And so all the services are there.

[01:16:39] The classes, the coaching sessions are there as well.

[01:16:42] I ask that you follow me on Instagram.

[01:16:45] And my Instagram is twilabegood.gov.

[01:16:52] So you can follow me on there for postings, or on sex tips.

[01:16:58] I try to go live every now and again.

[01:17:01] But yes, please follow me on Instagram.

[01:17:03] Check out my website.

[01:17:05] I am the process of creating my YouTube channel.

[01:17:09] And that will be sexologist in the city.

[01:17:12] And that is where I will have conversations such as this.

[01:17:17] We talk about all things sex, relationships, dating, everything.

[01:17:23] Yeah.

[01:17:24] So I noticed on your Instagram you had the like the live session with two other guests.

[01:17:33] You know what I mean?

[01:17:34] Yes.

[01:17:35] The access to that is that access through your website.

[01:17:39] That will actually be on YouTube.

[01:17:42] So I'm changing things around a bit.

[01:17:45] One of the young men he is in Canada, so we'll have him.

[01:17:49] Strings in and then the other young man he is now he's in the DFW area.

[01:17:54] So we're going to be changing things up again for a taste of twala, sexologist in the city.

[01:17:59] And that will be later on in the month of February.

[01:18:03] And because coaching sessions, I'm taking new clients.

[01:18:08] So you can go to my website and check it out.

[01:18:11] You can always email me if you have questions.

[01:18:14] If you want to book a consultation, you can do that as well.

[01:18:20] And we will make sure that we have everything posted also.

[01:18:24] Yes.

[01:18:25] And we're thankful that you have joined us.

[01:18:28] I think that's the best thing about this conversation you've had.

[01:18:32] You're interested to learn more about myself and earth.

[01:18:36] Yes, you know what I would be happy here.

[01:18:40] Lots of guys.

[01:18:41] We have enjoyed this if we ever come to Dallas.

[01:18:45] We might have to come and visit the living room.

[01:18:48] You would probably be the only person I'd become the Dallas.

[01:18:52] I can't even imagine.

[01:18:54] We are a boycott.

[01:18:56] Yeah, we are a boycott.

[01:18:58] The place is right now.

[01:19:00] Oh, okay.

[01:19:01] You will look you up.

[01:19:03] But I want to see the living room.

[01:19:06] Oh, yes.

[01:19:08] I want to see the rear room.

[01:19:11] You'll have it.

[01:19:13] You will love it.

[01:19:14] All right.

[01:19:15] Well, thank you so much.

[01:19:16] We appreciate it.

[01:19:18] Yes.

[01:19:19] Maybe we'll have you back so that we can share stories about the

[01:19:23] listeners and their Valentine's Escapades.

[01:19:26] Who knows?

[01:19:27] Oh, yes!

[01:19:28] I'd love to be back.

[01:19:30] All right.

[01:19:31] Well, thank you so much.