Second Time Around - Meet the Waldens!

[00:00:02] Do you and your partner want to learn simple ways to grow closer? Do you and your partner want to grow happier together? Do you and your partner want to be a unified front? Do you and your partner want to divorce proof your marriage? If you answer yes to these questions, you need to check out our book, A Locker Forever, 10 Keys to a Successful Marriage Beyond I Do.

[00:00:24] Each section focuses on a different aspect of marriage and briefly describes how we handled it in our relationship. At the end of the section, you're given an action step or key to complete with your partner.

[00:00:37] These keys are practical steps you can immediately implement in your relationship and help you or your partner be proactive and intentional about your relationship.

[00:00:46] You can purchase your copy on Amazon.com.

[00:00:49] And until next time, we will holler at y'all.

[00:01:07] After over 25 years of marriage, we've learned that successful couples have great friendships, put each other first, and focus on light just as much as love. We believe marriage should be fun and easy.

[00:01:18] Our goal is to share our journey with the hopes of helping others build strong, happy relationships. Join us as we continue to create our lives beyond I do.

[00:01:36] Before we get into our episode, we want to share this disclaimer. We are not marriage counselors, nor are we mental health professionals.

[00:01:44] We simply want to share with you what has worked in our marriage. Now, onto our episode.

[00:01:49] Welcome back to another episode of the Beyond I Do podcast. We have joining us a couple that we are so excited to hear their love story. They are newlyweds, but their story is so beautiful. And we are so excited to welcome the Waldens.

[00:02:27] Welcome Waldens.

[00:02:28] Thank you for having us.

[00:02:30] Appreciate it. Appreciate it.

[00:02:31] When we say newlywed, we mean new new.

[00:02:33] Brand new.

[00:02:34] Brand new.

[00:02:35] Brand new.

[00:02:36] So excited.

[00:02:37] So if you would, each of you, tell us about yourself and then we're going to jump into this beautiful story.

[00:02:46] Well, let's see. I'm Arison Waldman. I'm born and raised out of Washington County. For y'all that don't know, that's Timel, Georgia.

[00:02:57] A little bit about myself. Young man, 38 years old. I'm a musician, recording artist, youth pastor, salesman, father.

[00:03:11] All of these.

[00:03:12] All of the above, I guess.

[00:03:17] Love sports, man. Love working out. Love people. That's pretty much it for me. You know, real simple laid back guy.

[00:03:27] That's pretty much it.

[00:03:28] That's pretty much it. Wow.

[00:03:29] Pretty much laid back guy.

[00:03:32] I wouldn't want to follow that.

[00:03:34] I know I'm still thinking like, hmm.

[00:03:37] Oh, just wait. You'll see.

[00:03:39] No, no. Don't do that.

[00:03:41] You're going to let the kid out of the bag. Yes.

[00:03:43] Whatever.

[00:03:44] And if you shortcut them, then they're going to know.

[00:03:46] I'm going to do it.

[00:03:49] So I am Demita Walden.

[00:03:51] Oh, get into it.

[00:03:54] Yeah.

[00:03:55] Yes.

[00:03:58] So I am an educational interpreter for deaf, hard of hearing students.

[00:04:03] I'm also a musician, saxophonist, but I sing as well.

[00:04:10] And are you keeping tabs? Whatever.

[00:04:14] So I'm a mom and I love all things performing arts from dancing to acting, everything, music.

[00:04:24] Yeah.

[00:04:25] So, see? Short version.

[00:04:26] Ah.

[00:04:27] Do y'all, like, do y'all sit around singing and harmonizing and whatnot all the time?

[00:04:32] Yeah.

[00:04:33] All the time.

[00:04:34] Oh, I'm sorry.

[00:04:36] We do that.

[00:04:36] I messed that up.

[00:04:38] What?

[00:04:39] We can't sit around and harmonize because I can't sing.

[00:04:42] In the end it would be like...

[00:04:43] But you know, the funny part...

[00:04:44] You can't sit.

[00:04:45] The funny part, though.

[00:04:47] What is that?

[00:04:47] Baby.

[00:04:49] Have you seen the pops?

[00:04:51] You be doing it?

[00:04:52] No.

[00:04:53] I can't sing.

[00:04:53] No, no, no.

[00:04:58] Y'all were going to run out and doing it?

[00:05:00] That's so funny.

[00:05:01] Not really.

[00:05:02] Because we practice so much music all the time.

[00:05:04] We do.

[00:05:04] Believe it or not, once you hear so much...

[00:05:06] And she really got me into this.

[00:05:08] It's like, once you're done, the car is quiet going on.

[00:05:12] Yeah.

[00:05:12] No music.

[00:05:13] I'd be like, I need that.

[00:05:14] It's just like...

[00:05:15] You try to unload, unpack all this stuff because you got to do it again the very next week.

[00:05:20] Yeah.

[00:05:21] See, and for me, because I don't have that gift.

[00:05:25] I know why I don't.

[00:05:27] Because if I did, I wouldn't act right.

[00:05:30] I would sing conversations.

[00:05:32] So, I don't have that gift.

[00:05:34] So...

[00:05:34] I was in the void, well...

[00:05:38] I ain't going to say void then.

[00:05:40] But you know, back in our day, you know.

[00:05:42] You had a black band, you know.

[00:05:43] Back in the Jodeci boys.

[00:05:45] I'm going to say, yeah.

[00:05:46] I was in high school.

[00:05:48] Everybody had a group.

[00:05:49] Yeah, I was like...

[00:05:50] Well, y'all sing and we used to do talent shows around and stuff like that.

[00:05:53] Nice.

[00:05:54] That's fun.

[00:05:55] And she was like, you know, if I sing, you can shut me up.

[00:05:58] Yeah.

[00:05:58] I was his group.

[00:05:59] Just like...

[00:06:00] Okay, okay.

[00:06:02] If you know how to do it, you just shut up.

[00:06:05] Because you tired of hearing her.

[00:06:06] You heard her.

[00:06:07] You heard her.

[00:06:08] You heard everybody else note.

[00:06:09] You tired of notes.

[00:06:11] That's funny.

[00:06:12] That's hilarious.

[00:06:13] So, I've heard so many bits and pieces of the story.

[00:06:18] Right.

[00:06:18] And it is a beautiful story.

[00:06:20] So, what did you hear?

[00:06:22] I have.

[00:06:22] Oh, it's...

[00:06:22] Look, I'm not going to tell you because...

[00:06:26] That was girl talk.

[00:06:28] Oh.

[00:06:28] But, it was good and we were excited.

[00:06:31] Right, right, right.

[00:06:32] But, and that means that we get to hear your version.

[00:06:37] Yeah, I want to hear you.

[00:06:38] We get to hear your version first.

[00:06:41] But, tell us a little bit about when you met, how you met, and how this all came about.

[00:06:48] All right.

[00:06:49] Okay, so...

[00:06:49] You want your version?

[00:06:51] So, we talking about originally?

[00:06:53] Yeah.

[00:06:54] From the root of it.

[00:06:55] From the root of it.

[00:06:56] Yeah.

[00:06:56] From the root of it.

[00:06:58] Yeah.

[00:06:59] All right, so we going to...

[00:07:00] I'm going to tell you.

[00:07:01] I know you.

[00:07:02] Go ahead.

[00:07:02] I already know you.

[00:07:03] You really want to say this one particular sentence.

[00:07:06] Yeah.

[00:07:06] Go ahead.

[00:07:07] So, we met way back when we were kids at the same church.

[00:07:12] We started out back in the day at a church called Redeemed.

[00:07:15] AKA Redeemed, but you know, King of Life now.

[00:07:18] That was kind of fun.

[00:07:19] But, anyway.

[00:07:21] It was in the same youth ministry our church had several different churches.

[00:07:26] Right.

[00:07:26] And, you know how girls are.

[00:07:29] You know, they want to grow up all fast.

[00:07:30] They think you so young.

[00:07:32] He's your ex.

[00:07:33] He's your ex.

[00:07:34] He's your ex.

[00:07:34] When you're young.

[00:07:35] So, you know, that was a group of us that are in our age range.

[00:07:40] And, we all used to hang together or whatever.

[00:07:42] She would see us, but she would always kind of sit off to the side or try to go hang with

[00:07:46] the older ones.

[00:07:48] Because, you know, we were immature.

[00:07:50] Oh, okay.

[00:07:51] You know, so...

[00:07:53] But, one thing she did tell me though that always cracked me up was that she always noticed

[00:07:59] me and she was like, he seemed to be a nice guy.

[00:08:01] He just fights all the time.

[00:08:03] All the time.

[00:08:03] He fights all the time.

[00:08:05] He's always fighting.

[00:08:06] But, even when she realized that I never started them, you know, I think that kind

[00:08:10] of helped with the perception of me.

[00:08:12] You were like me.

[00:08:13] Just fights.

[00:08:14] Walked my way.

[00:08:15] They walked to me.

[00:08:16] I never looked for one.

[00:08:18] You know?

[00:08:18] There you go.

[00:08:19] So, but no, for real, what really got us together more than anything, we had what you

[00:08:25] call...

[00:08:26] We were always around each other.

[00:08:28] Yeah.

[00:08:28] Even though we never really talked.

[00:08:30] Right.

[00:08:30] Because she sung in a choir with the adults.

[00:08:33] She can hold on.

[00:08:34] She can go.

[00:08:35] I'll give her that.

[00:08:36] She can definitely sing.

[00:08:36] She can hold the blow.

[00:08:38] And I was a drummer.

[00:08:39] Okay.

[00:08:40] So...

[00:08:40] We were only two youth that was a part of the adult thing.

[00:08:43] Yeah.

[00:08:43] As far as the adult thing.

[00:08:44] So, we were always there, but we never really communicated.

[00:08:48] Okay.

[00:08:48] And so, just even growing up, as time went on, it was still the same way she was singing,

[00:08:54] I was over in the music section.

[00:08:56] Right.

[00:08:56] And then, one day out in the blue, they were gone and they went to another church.

[00:09:02] And then, this is the part where it's always kind of funny because she said she went to college

[00:09:09] and she came at home and she saw me.

[00:09:12] I was a senior in high school.

[00:09:15] And she said she spoke to me.

[00:09:17] She don't remember that part.

[00:09:18] I don't remember it.

[00:09:20] I'm just kind of like...

[00:09:21] And I don't.

[00:09:22] When I don't really pay some attention, I give a very, hey, what's up, buddy?

[00:09:25] And just keep it going or I just do it like that.

[00:09:27] A little quick head and keep going.

[00:09:31] So, long story short, went to college, played ball, came back home because I blew up my knee.

[00:09:41] I'm mad because I don't want to be there.

[00:09:44] My mom is trying to get me to come back to church.

[00:09:46] I don't want to go to no church.

[00:09:48] I don't want to see people right now.

[00:09:50] But for whatever reason, she taught me into going that evening to a service

[00:09:55] and we went to the church in Dublin.

[00:09:58] Now, there are like two rows in front.

[00:10:00] We never sit up front.

[00:10:02] And we're sitting on like the fourth row.

[00:10:03] Two rows up front and there's an empty row right in front of us.

[00:10:06] So, we came in.

[00:10:08] We sat on that fourth row.

[00:10:09] I sat on the end.

[00:10:10] And they just had that whole row in there.

[00:10:12] Didn't know why.

[00:10:13] All of a sudden, I saw this lady walking in, leading this group.

[00:10:17] And I was just like,

[00:10:19] Man, that chick, that's fine.

[00:10:20] I didn't know who it was.

[00:10:21] You know what I mean?

[00:10:23] I didn't know who it was.

[00:10:24] And so, I was like...

[00:10:25] But this is all in my head because I don't want to be there.

[00:10:28] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:10:28] So, the chick came in with...

[00:10:31] You know, when this was in Stacia, I had these black belt bottoms.

[00:10:35] Black button down shirt.

[00:10:37] Fit all tight with little sleeves.

[00:10:39] I remember that.

[00:10:39] Yeah, it was fit.

[00:10:40] I remember that.

[00:10:41] It was definitely fit.

[00:10:42] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:10:43] Okay.

[00:10:44] Had her hair braided up.

[00:10:46] Had her little buns back up.

[00:10:48] No glasses.

[00:10:49] Yeah, cause you heard me.

[00:10:50] That was the thing.

[00:10:51] That was the thing.

[00:10:51] Coming along the school.

[00:10:52] I had my glasses.

[00:10:53] And so, she came in and she was leaving the group.

[00:10:56] She sat down in front of me.

[00:10:57] I'm just looking like,

[00:10:59] Man, that chick, that's fine.

[00:11:01] And so, I'm sitting beside my mom and she's like...

[00:11:04] Kept looking at me, looking at her.

[00:11:06] Yeah, yeah.

[00:11:06] I'm like...

[00:11:09] She tapped on the shoulder.

[00:11:10] I'm like, hey!

[00:11:11] So, my mom turned, she's like...

[00:11:15] She looked at me, I'm like, what's up?

[00:11:17] You know?

[00:11:18] You didn't say anything.

[00:11:19] I just gave her head.

[00:11:20] I was like, what's up?

[00:11:21] So, my mom looked at me and she's like, you don't know what I do?

[00:11:25] I was like, no.

[00:11:26] She was like, that's Domita.

[00:11:27] I'm like, who?

[00:11:28] She's like, Domita?

[00:11:29] Who?

[00:11:30] She was like, Barbara Dahl.

[00:11:32] I was like, oh!

[00:11:33] With the glasses.

[00:11:34] Oh!

[00:11:35] And so, you know...

[00:11:37] I don't know what happened.

[00:11:39] They told me they did something.

[00:11:41] I ain't kept it like that.

[00:11:42] You know what I'm saying?

[00:11:43] Yeah.

[00:11:43] But I was locked in.

[00:11:44] Yeah, you were locked in.

[00:11:45] I was already locked in.

[00:11:46] So...

[00:11:47] Yeah, I know you was like, damn.

[00:11:48] Hey, boy.

[00:11:49] She came up on...

[00:11:51] She went back there, boy!

[00:11:54] Woo!

[00:11:54] Word for word.

[00:11:55] Exactly what I was thinking.

[00:11:57] I know.

[00:11:59] Word for word.

[00:12:00] Yeah.

[00:12:00] It's like, you know...

[00:12:02] I was shaved, baby.

[00:12:03] It's okay.

[00:12:04] She came alone back in the day, man.

[00:12:05] She was being here, cheating with the glasses.

[00:12:07] Yeah!

[00:12:08] No shame, but the tree.

[00:12:10] You know what I'm saying?

[00:12:10] She was tall, slills.

[00:12:11] She came up.

[00:12:12] Yeah, yeah.

[00:12:13] You know, always dress nice.

[00:12:14] I'll give her that shit.

[00:12:15] Always dress nice.

[00:12:16] Always dress nice.

[00:12:17] But I was just like, I'm in church.

[00:12:21] I'm not supposed to be looking like this.

[00:12:22] You know?

[00:12:24] Like, you know...

[00:12:24] She's like, hey, Barbara Dahl, a friend.

[00:12:27] Right.

[00:12:27] You know.

[00:12:28] You're looking like one more right now.

[00:12:30] Okay.

[00:12:30] You know.

[00:12:33] So, still, I didn't say anything.

[00:12:35] Mm-hmm.

[00:12:36] So, my mom pulled one of the slickest moves I've ever seen in my entire life.

[00:12:40] She did.

[00:12:41] They got finished singing.

[00:12:42] Again, I ain't heard nothing.

[00:12:43] Cause I'm just looking.

[00:12:44] Yeah.

[00:12:45] My mom said, oh my God, y'all did just such a good job.

[00:12:48] Let me get your phone number.

[00:12:50] So I can call you so y'all can come to the churches.

[00:12:52] Yeah!

[00:12:54] And I ain't think nothing ever though.

[00:12:55] All right then, mama.

[00:12:56] So, she gave her the no.

[00:12:58] I'm gonna sign it up.

[00:12:58] She did.

[00:12:59] Yeah, she gave her the number and uh...

[00:13:02] When we left the church, she gave it to me.

[00:13:06] Mm.

[00:13:06] Yeah.

[00:13:07] Okay.

[00:13:08] And so, I hesitated for a while and I think I called her and it went to voicemail.

[00:13:14] Yeah, my phone was dead.

[00:13:16] Mm.

[00:13:16] And I was like, oh well.

[00:13:19] You know, it is what it is.

[00:13:20] Yeah.

[00:13:20] She called me back, I think that same night.

[00:13:24] Mm-hmm.

[00:13:25] And we talked for hours.

[00:13:30] Four.

[00:13:30] Right.

[00:13:31] To be exact.

[00:13:32] We talked for hours.

[00:13:33] Aw.

[00:13:33] And I had an 80 class the next morning.

[00:13:35] Aw.

[00:13:36] And we just talked.

[00:13:37] And it's crazy cause we never talked.

[00:13:38] We never talked.

[00:13:39] Like I said, when we were kids, I was over there playing drums.

[00:13:42] She was over there saying that we never talked.

[00:13:46] And we talked like that from that day, like on, like almost every day that same way.

[00:13:54] Okay.

[00:13:55] And, you know, life happens.

[00:13:59] Mm-hmm.

[00:13:59] You know, we both went our separate ways, you know, distance and everything.

[00:14:05] Mm-hmm.

[00:14:05] Um, she was a hater.

[00:14:07] So, I'm gonna say that.

[00:14:09] But, uh.

[00:14:10] You know what?

[00:14:11] This story is out of gas.

[00:14:14] Aw.

[00:14:15] She was a hater.

[00:14:16] She started a hater.

[00:14:17] Yeah, she was a hater.

[00:14:18] So, you know, she didn't want to wait on me.

[00:14:21] That, whatever.

[00:14:22] But, uh.

[00:14:23] That's true.

[00:14:24] Mm-hmm.

[00:14:26] But, uh.

[00:14:27] Long story short, you know, we came back together and.

[00:14:31] Who slid in the DMs?

[00:14:33] Yeah, she was thirsty.

[00:14:34] You know what I'm saying?

[00:14:35] She was thirsty.

[00:14:35] You know what I'm saying?

[00:14:36] I did.

[00:14:38] She flew up in my DMs.

[00:14:39] But you done.

[00:14:40] Yeah.

[00:14:40] Okay.

[00:14:41] And what was so crazy is DMs started right back just like it was before.

[00:14:45] Yeah.

[00:14:45] That was true.

[00:14:46] Got right back on the phone and started back talking for hours.

[00:14:50] Like almost 15 years, what, 15, 16?

[00:14:52] No.

[00:14:52] 16 years later.

[00:14:54] Wow.

[00:14:54] Wow.

[00:14:55] We had not talked or anything.

[00:14:57] We had not seen each other.

[00:14:58] Nothing.

[00:14:59] And got back on the phone and it was just them same folk and just, here we are today.

[00:15:07] Yeah.

[00:15:07] Here we are today.

[00:15:08] Yeah.

[00:15:08] That's fantastic.

[00:15:09] That's beautiful.

[00:15:11] But, you know, the thing was that I, you know, cause we've both been married before.

[00:15:18] Yeah.

[00:15:18] And, you know, sometimes you hope something comes back around but you're not really sure.

[00:15:25] Yeah.

[00:15:25] But, it came back around and it's actually even better than it was before.

[00:15:33] And the first one was really good.

[00:15:34] Don't make me cry out of there.

[00:15:36] You know what I mean?

[00:15:36] The first one was really, really good.

[00:15:38] Yeah.

[00:15:38] But just, even the second time around has been, been, been very good.

[00:15:42] And so for us, it wouldn't know, oh I saw you and we just fell in love and you know, we just jumped the broom.

[00:15:48] Nah, we, we talked for like two, three years before we, like we were really friends.

[00:15:54] Yeah.

[00:15:55] And that was one of the things that I really prayed for.

[00:15:56] I was like, man, you know, I always think about things like this.

[00:15:59] If I lost everything, if I didn't have nothing, I need a friend.

[00:16:04] Right.

[00:16:04] Because I'm gonna need somebody that's gonna be able to rock with me and help me get out of this.

[00:16:07] Then too, you also know why they're there.

[00:16:10] Right.

[00:16:10] It sounds good.

[00:16:11] Like, yeah, I'm gonna be there.

[00:16:12] I'll be supportive and all that good stuff.

[00:16:14] But man, when stuff crumble, you gonna need a friend.

[00:16:17] You know what I mean?

[00:16:18] You gonna need somebody that can help you out of this.

[00:16:21] Somebody's gonna be like, hey, you need to get up, let's do this.

[00:16:24] Right.

[00:16:24] You know, somebody that's gonna rock with you and help you get back together because, you know, to me, I found out how important that is.

[00:16:30] You need a friend.

[00:16:31] If you don't got nothing else, you need a friend.

[00:16:34] Because that friend is gonna do everything that a friend does.

[00:16:37] Mm-hmm.

[00:16:38] So, that's right.

[00:16:39] It makes, as a man, for me, it pushes me.

[00:16:42] You know what I mean?

[00:16:42] Because, you know, when you got somebody in your corner that just, you know, small things, it makes you wanna do for them.

[00:16:49] It makes you wanna be better.

[00:16:50] It makes you wanna work for it and stuff like that.

[00:16:53] So, it gives something to smile about coming home.

[00:16:55] Aw.

[00:16:55] You definitely need it if them days and when those days ever get bad.

[00:16:58] You need your friend.

[00:16:59] You know?

[00:17:00] Ain't gonna sit here and try to act like, everything, everybody's gonna always be, you know, sunshine and rainbow.

[00:17:06] Right.

[00:17:07] And when them days ever, you need a friend.

[00:17:09] And it's coming.

[00:17:10] Yeah.

[00:17:10] You know, in 26 years, we've been 26 years.

[00:17:13] Like, I call.

[00:17:14] Friends.

[00:17:15] Yeah.

[00:17:16] Same thing.

[00:17:16] We didn't have as much distance of the time that y'all had.

[00:17:20] But, uh, we met each other younger years.

[00:17:25] Remained friends all that time.

[00:17:27] I had another relationship.

[00:17:29] Mm.

[00:17:29] It was...

[00:17:31] I'm saying.

[00:17:32] Right, right.

[00:17:33] You know, and, you know, we got back together.

[00:17:36] You know, and it was like you said.

[00:17:39] We got back together is like, nothing never fell off.

[00:17:41] Mm-hmm.

[00:17:42] Like, we never stopped talking to each other.

[00:17:44] And that friendship is what keeps us together.

[00:17:48] Right.

[00:17:48] Because regardless of anything, I need to have my friend.

[00:17:52] Right.

[00:17:52] Because I need to have that person that I, you know, hey, look here, check this out.

[00:17:56] And I talk about it and, you know, absolutely feel comfortable that it's in between us.

[00:18:02] Mm-hmm.

[00:18:02] That's fantastic.

[00:18:04] So, I know that both of you have children from your first marriages.

[00:18:12] Mm-hmm.

[00:18:13] So, not saying that anything has been a mistake.

[00:18:17] But once you all reconnected, was there any type of regret with that first decision to step away?

[00:18:30] Or how have you balanced, okay, this could have been then, but I didn't have it then, but I have it now.

[00:18:39] How do you balance those feelings?

[00:18:41] That was, now that was a big thing for me.

[00:18:44] Mm-hmm.

[00:18:45] When we got back together.

[00:18:46] Mm-hmm.

[00:18:47] Cause I was like, dang, I should have waited.

[00:18:49] Mm-hmm.

[00:18:49] I shouldn't have been so anxious.

[00:18:52] Um, because he is who I want.

[00:18:56] Even then.

[00:18:58] Cause even back then, I told him.

[00:19:01] You know.

[00:19:02] Yeah.

[00:19:03] He knew.

[00:19:04] But it was my, like he said earlier, me trying to think, oh, I'm growner than what I was.

[00:19:10] And thought I was in a different space than I should have been in.

[00:19:12] And being overly anxious.

[00:19:14] And I really should have waited.

[00:19:16] Um, and I, I love my children from, you know, and everything.

[00:19:20] It was a blessing, but nothing else.

[00:19:22] But I also learned a lot about me.

[00:19:24] Right.

[00:19:24] In that first situation as well.

[00:19:26] So I think it helps me better, you know, coming into our marriage now.

[00:19:31] And I was telling him one of the things for me in our relationship is the word intentional.

[00:19:35] I'm more intentional now, you know, in my relationship.

[00:19:39] I'm more, I'm intentional.

[00:19:41] I learned to now to ask for help.

[00:19:45] I'll be like, God help me to hear him.

[00:19:46] Even if we have a disconnect or argument, I don't listen to respond.

[00:19:52] Right.

[00:19:52] And I've learned to listen.

[00:19:54] So what he's saying, I'm like, okay, what is he really saying?

[00:19:57] I'm trying to understand what he's saying.

[00:19:58] Cause he's speaking two different languages right now.

[00:20:00] So how not to be offended or think I'm jumped to a conclusion where I got to be defensive.

[00:20:05] When I know I don't have to be, because I know it's coming from a good race.

[00:20:08] You know what I'm saying?

[00:20:09] So those are the takeaways that I did have from that.

[00:20:13] But I have, I, it took me a minute cause I regretted it really bad.

[00:20:17] I did.

[00:20:18] It was hard.

[00:20:19] I don't think I told you.

[00:20:21] I probably did.

[00:20:22] I don't know.

[00:20:22] I did.

[00:20:23] You said a lot.

[00:20:24] I'm pretty sure.

[00:20:26] But I did.

[00:20:27] I did.

[00:20:27] It was hard because I'm like, he, he was, I just should have waited.

[00:20:31] But I'm glad that we have the opportunity for the, for us to come in.

[00:20:35] Right.

[00:20:36] For sure.

[00:20:36] So there was the, the point that you all reconnected.

[00:20:40] Mm hmm.

[00:20:41] How long after that reconnection before proposal?

[00:20:47] Almost, almost two years.

[00:20:49] Yeah.

[00:20:50] Almost two years.

[00:20:51] And how long were y'all engaged before?

[00:20:55] A little bit over a year.

[00:20:56] Yeah.

[00:20:56] A little bit over a year.

[00:20:57] Okay.

[00:20:58] Because we wanted to take our time.

[00:20:59] Cause like you said, we have children.

[00:21:01] Right.

[00:21:01] Right.

[00:21:01] So it was like, okay.

[00:21:05] Introducing him to my children.

[00:21:07] Mm hmm.

[00:21:07] He introduced me to his daughter.

[00:21:09] Mm hmm.

[00:21:10] You know, we wanted to be, wanted to be cautious about it.

[00:21:14] Mm hmm.

[00:21:14] Because my children, well since my oldest daughter, you know, she was kinda, we was kinda worried

[00:21:22] about her the most.

[00:21:23] Mm hmm.

[00:21:23] You know, having gone through the whole divorce situation and all of that.

[00:21:27] Right.

[00:21:27] She's the one that didn't give a flip.

[00:21:29] She gravitated to him so fast.

[00:21:31] Like even now, she'll text him and call him before she called me.

[00:21:34] And we was like, wow.

[00:21:35] Mm hmm.

[00:21:35] It just happened organically.

[00:21:37] Yeah.

[00:21:37] You know, so after we was like, okay, the kids are cool.

[00:21:40] We just kinda watched it all come together.

[00:21:43] His daughter, I love her.

[00:21:44] His daughter and I, that's my girl.

[00:21:46] You know, and it just kinda happened organically.

[00:21:48] Like we'll have our own moments and just ask him to go somewhere.

[00:21:50] We have our girl talk.

[00:21:52] He's like, can y'all get out of the bathroom?

[00:21:54] You know, we gotta go.

[00:21:55] We just, you know, chit-chatting or whatever.

[00:21:58] So I think like once we got cool and the kids was on board, it was like, okay, we can

[00:22:02] continue.

[00:22:04] Yeah.

[00:22:04] For me, it was, it was more of a, I wanna make sure that I was doing the right thing.

[00:22:10] You know, when you've been married before, man, you get to kinda really thinking about,

[00:22:15] you know, alright, you know, I know I made some mistakes myself in this first when it

[00:22:18] wasn't just her, you know, it's me, some growing I gotta do.

[00:22:22] Am I ready for that?

[00:22:23] You know what I mean?

[00:22:24] Right.

[00:22:24] Am I ready?

[00:22:24] Am I mentally there?

[00:22:26] You know, do I have the capacity to make this work again?

[00:22:29] You know what I mean?

[00:22:30] Because sometimes those are real, you know, questions that you have for yourself that can

[00:22:35] be a little bit of a hesitant because, you know, hey, no matter how you view it, whether

[00:22:42] it was a good or a bad break, it feels like a failure.

[00:22:46] Right.

[00:22:46] You know what I mean?

[00:22:47] It feels like a failure.

[00:22:48] So you kinda going in like, I don't wanna repeat.

[00:22:51] You know what I mean?

[00:22:52] I don't wanna repeat, you know?

[00:22:54] So, I could say from my first marriage, the thing that I have really grown in is patience.

[00:23:03] I grew in patience.

[00:23:05] I grew in patience, I grew in patience and I learned to listen, listen to women, listen

[00:23:12] and listen to understand.

[00:23:13] Um, my daughter helped me with that first before I ever got back with her because it

[00:23:21] really gave me really good training ground.

[00:23:23] Because sometimes I've learned that we as men feel like we here to fix things.

[00:23:29] That ain't always the case.

[00:23:31] Yep.

[00:23:32] Sometimes you just gotta hear because what they're really doing is they're talking and

[00:23:39] working it out while they're explaining to you everything that's going on.

[00:23:44] So it ain't really one of those moments you just gotta dive in and just take control

[00:23:48] of it.

[00:23:48] I've learned to just kinda sit back and just listen and...

[00:23:51] You did a good job with that.

[00:23:52] Yeah.

[00:23:53] We had a moment earlier, that's why I had to...

[00:23:58] It's, it's, it's, you know what, and it's always a learning process because you know,

[00:24:03] like you said, you want to fix.

[00:24:05] Yeah.

[00:24:05] You, you...

[00:24:05] Problem come, I'm ready to put the bandaid on the right now.

[00:24:08] Absolutely.

[00:24:09] Absolutely.

[00:24:09] And then we have to step back sometimes and think about it.

[00:24:12] Well, truthfully, you just gotta listen to them because they got the answer.

[00:24:15] What they're doing is just working it out.

[00:24:17] Exactly.

[00:24:17] It's, it's, it's, it's, to us it sounds like a panic mode of you need my help.

[00:24:23] But, but for them it's, cause see I, I don't, I don't, I don't wanna say it the wrong

[00:24:28] way, but it seems like women take a, take whatever going on with them and they just throw

[00:24:32] it all out like, like puzzle pieces.

[00:24:35] Right.

[00:24:35] But as they're talking to you, it all starts coming back together.

[00:24:38] Oh man, I like that.

[00:24:39] And they, and they got, they got the portrait back together.

[00:24:43] And you think it to yourself like, no, I was supposed to grab that piece she threw over

[00:24:46] there, grab that piece she threw over there.

[00:24:48] That wasn't really what it was.

[00:24:49] Right.

[00:24:50] Trying to pick up the pieces.

[00:24:52] I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:24:58] So, you know, once I, once I learned to do that, um, you know, it's like she said, just

[00:25:05] being intentional about it.

[00:25:06] Right.

[00:25:06] And just, just learn that everything ain't meant for you to fix.

[00:25:10] You know, everything ain't, but I did learn to be a, and, and I learned this from when

[00:25:19] we first got back together is to be a landing place as she liked to call it.

[00:25:24] Yeah.

[00:25:25] A landing place.

[00:25:26] Yeah.

[00:25:26] Even if I ain't fixing it, if I can just be that landing place.

[00:25:31] Yeah.

[00:25:31] Yeah.

[00:25:31] That meant more than trying to fix her problem.

[00:25:34] Yeah.

[00:25:35] Right.

[00:25:35] Yeah.

[00:25:36] And that, and that's one of the things that, you know, I had to learn, you know, a lot of

[00:25:42] times when she would come home from work and she had a stressful day and she need just to

[00:25:48] let it out.

[00:25:50] And I might have something going on, but I'm going to listen to it because she just

[00:25:55] need that landing place to say, okay, um, this is what happened to me today.

[00:26:00] I just need to get it out and I'm talking to you.

[00:26:03] And a lot of guys, you know, they should, man, I don't want to eat all that.

[00:26:07] And I had a stressful day too.

[00:26:09] You know what I'm saying?

[00:26:10] Oh, right.

[00:26:10] And you want to, you want to go and handle it yourself.

[00:26:15] Yeah.

[00:26:16] What he said to you.

[00:26:18] Right.

[00:26:18] Right.

[00:26:18] A lot of times it's just, they just want to be heard.

[00:26:21] They just want you to listen and just don't do anything.

[00:26:24] Yeah.

[00:26:25] It took me a while to learn that.

[00:26:26] Listen, man, it's still a struggle.

[00:26:30] We sitting right here with two educators.

[00:26:32] So sometimes you be listening to the acting.

[00:26:34] Cause I don't know who I'm in the audience who we're talking to that may be parents.

[00:26:38] Y'all need to work on these kids at home.

[00:26:39] You know what I'm saying?

[00:26:41] You know what I'm saying?

[00:26:41] Working on these kids at home.

[00:26:42] It's not sending these kids to school and making teachers be parents.

[00:26:47] Cause that's hard, man.

[00:26:48] Absolutely.

[00:26:49] Yes.

[00:26:49] And then we got to listen to it.

[00:26:50] Cause y'all not doing your job.

[00:26:52] We're not going to say it like it is.

[00:26:54] Like I said earlier, it's about two or three little boys.

[00:26:57] Man, listen.

[00:26:58] I was ready to do about five to ten for...

[00:27:01] I see that y'all.

[00:27:03] He did.

[00:27:03] He said, what?

[00:27:04] I'll be up there tomorrow.

[00:27:05] Yeah.

[00:27:06] Cause in your mind, you think it's your son like, oh, I know exactly what he need.

[00:27:09] I know you didn't tell me the pictures.

[00:27:11] Oh yeah.

[00:27:11] I promise you, I know what this one is.

[00:27:13] Oh yeah.

[00:27:13] All that dad's jacked out.

[00:27:15] Yeah.

[00:27:15] I'll be the one of the nudes.

[00:27:16] Let me show you how to get out of this balloon.

[00:27:18] Spanx child.

[00:27:19] In front of everybody.

[00:27:22] You know what I'm saying?

[00:27:23] I'm showing six nudes and got him out there on the flagpole.

[00:27:26] Yep.

[00:27:26] We still hit the bell.

[00:27:28] Yep.

[00:27:28] Tend your tail up, man.

[00:27:31] That's what you...

[00:27:32] Okay.

[00:27:32] Sorry about that.

[00:27:33] That was okay.

[00:27:34] That was needed.

[00:27:35] That was a much needed PSA.

[00:27:37] Thank you.

[00:27:38] Train your kids.

[00:27:39] Train your kids in the home so they can come to school and learn.

[00:27:42] The more you know.

[00:27:43] Right.

[00:27:43] Right.

[00:27:44] So it has been one month and four days.

[00:27:49] Right.

[00:27:50] Yes.

[00:27:50] One month and four days.

[00:27:51] It went fast.

[00:27:52] How was that transition going from, of course, you get back together.

[00:27:58] It's exciting.

[00:27:59] The proposal.

[00:28:00] That's a new thing.

[00:28:01] You're planning.

[00:28:03] Then the big day.

[00:28:04] And I know how excited coming into that day.

[00:28:07] I was trying to help you some because there was a whole lot of typing and planning and

[00:28:13] there was a lot going on.

[00:28:15] A lot of post-its.

[00:28:15] There was...

[00:28:16] And I was like, she probably driving him crazy.

[00:28:20] But...

[00:28:20] Just a little bit.

[00:28:21] Yes.

[00:28:22] It was a lot.

[00:28:23] I'm going to be honest and say it was not as bad as I think she thought it was for

[00:28:29] It wasn't.

[00:28:29] It was just a little bit.

[00:28:31] It really was.

[00:28:32] She had listed everything.

[00:28:35] She had it everything.

[00:28:36] You're telling all my secrets so he didn't know that part.

[00:28:39] I'm sorry.

[00:28:40] It was together because she had it together.

[00:28:43] Let me tell you.

[00:28:45] And she was so excited and she came back.

[00:28:47] So how has it been now?

[00:28:50] It's been a little over a month.

[00:28:53] You all are man and wife.

[00:28:55] She was saying, I don't care how many days we have left in school.

[00:28:59] They gonna have to get me a new name tag.

[00:29:02] I sure did.

[00:29:03] I went right up.

[00:29:04] Hey, I need my new name tag.

[00:29:06] Awesome.

[00:29:07] And also as well, merging the two homes.

[00:29:11] Mm-hmm.

[00:29:12] I know y'all been together but y'all never lived together.

[00:29:15] Right.

[00:29:16] So you know, you got your style, she got her style.

[00:29:20] Right.

[00:29:20] How was that?

[00:29:21] So, I'm gonna start with a couple things.

[00:29:27] I was very lucky.

[00:29:29] I was very lucky and very blessed because the kids love me off the top.

[00:29:35] Yes.

[00:29:36] You know what I mean?

[00:29:36] The kids love me off the top and I didn't, I've never gone into the situation trying to

[00:29:41] rule with an iron fist.

[00:29:43] Right.

[00:29:43] Um, because I've learned that, especially when you're dealing with children, love and

[00:29:50] respect makes them honor you.

[00:29:54] Mm-hmm.

[00:29:54] Exactly.

[00:29:55] So I don't have to come in aggressive because if I come in aggressive, it's gonna cause a

[00:30:03] way between me and her eventually.

[00:30:05] Right.

[00:30:05] You know what I mean?

[00:30:06] Right.

[00:30:06] Because, you know, regardless of how much you love them kids, at least it's still someone

[00:30:10] else's children.

[00:30:11] Yeah.

[00:30:11] And with me having, you know, children, you gotta think about it like, you know, don't

[00:30:16] you ever talk to your baby at all?

[00:30:17] I'll come in with you tomorrow.

[00:30:18] Right.

[00:30:18] You know what I mean?

[00:30:19] Oh yeah.

[00:30:19] So I was very, I was very fortunate, man.

[00:30:21] It came, man.

[00:30:22] Listen, I am hugged and kissed and loved on from the time I wake up to the time I leave

[00:30:32] to the time I go back to the time.

[00:30:33] And it's not by me all of you.

[00:30:34] It's time.

[00:30:35] They attack him.

[00:30:37] I have to rescue him.

[00:30:38] It's all day long.

[00:30:39] I love.

[00:30:40] That's.

[00:30:41] Yeah.

[00:30:42] And it's, and it's, and it's so cool, man, because I feel like it's, it's doing something

[00:30:47] for me as well for them because I didn't grow up with a lot of touchy feeling.

[00:30:51] You know what I mean?

[00:30:52] Right.

[00:30:52] I knew my parents loved me, but you know, they old school, their love came through.

[00:30:56] Yeah.

[00:30:56] We work hard for you.

[00:30:57] We try to provide for you.

[00:30:58] Yeah.

[00:30:58] We have food on table.

[00:31:00] You know, we try to show you the right way.

[00:31:01] That kind of way.

[00:31:02] Not saying that they're abusive and aggressive.

[00:31:04] Yeah.

[00:31:04] Yeah.

[00:31:05] You know, their love was the action of what they did.

[00:31:09] So to, to be surrounded by that, man, we were very blessed.

[00:31:12] And same thing.

[00:31:13] My daughter saw her at a wedding.

[00:31:15] Uh, we went to a mutual friend wedding.

[00:31:17] That's how we, uh, rekindled really the second time, you know, as far as the face to

[00:31:21] face action.

[00:31:22] Yes.

[00:31:22] My daughter saw her, just ran to her and just, I mean, I'm looking like, uh, you don't know

[00:31:28] her.

[00:31:30] You know, I mean, she saw me on a FaceTime call.

[00:31:34] Oh, okay.

[00:31:34] So she knew my face.

[00:31:36] Right.

[00:31:38] Yeah.

[00:31:39] Yeah.

[00:31:39] See, I'm, I'm, I'm that old school.

[00:31:41] Like, I don't care if we talk, you and me and my daughter.

[00:31:45] Right.

[00:31:45] Unless it's, you know what I'm saying?

[00:31:47] Unless it's for real.

[00:31:47] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:31:49] And nobody met my daughter.

[00:31:50] So, you know what I mean?

[00:31:52] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:31:53] Just being funny.

[00:31:53] So that side of it, man, it was, it was, it was a blessing.

[00:31:55] Um, I came in with love and the love and respect helped to bring the honor that they have shown

[00:32:00] me.

[00:32:01] And it's been very, very good.

[00:32:02] Uh, as far as the house part of it, it was easy because her thing was, I'm, I'm, I'm super

[00:32:11] clean.

[00:32:11] Yes.

[00:32:12] I'm super clean, man.

[00:32:13] Like, I, um, I didn't have any, uh, sisters grow up in the house with me and nothing like

[00:32:18] that.

[00:32:18] So my dad taught us how to work and my mom taught us how to keep a house.

[00:32:22] Yeah.

[00:32:22] So I'm washing dishes.

[00:32:23] I'm folding clothes and I'm, I'm sweeping every day.

[00:32:26] That's just, that's just what I do.

[00:32:27] Yeah.

[00:32:28] Because I grew up even, you know, uh, uh, uh, dishes in the sink, you know what I mean?

[00:32:34] Don't do that laundry.

[00:32:35] Don't fold them clothes.

[00:32:36] You know?

[00:32:36] So those kinds of things.

[00:32:37] So when she, when she met me, her very first thing was, she was just like, you don't know

[00:32:41] how much they turn me on.

[00:32:43] I'm like, what?

[00:32:44] She said, she said to me, you make your bed every day.

[00:32:49] I said, your bed is made every day?

[00:32:51] What?

[00:32:52] Every day?

[00:32:53] Yeah.

[00:32:53] Like, so that transitions me.

[00:32:56] Can't wash some dishes and see what happens.

[00:32:58] Listen.

[00:32:58] I'm trying to tell you.

[00:33:00] Can't wash some dishes.

[00:33:00] That's beautiful.

[00:33:01] Busting suds.

[00:33:02] You know what I mean?

[00:33:03] That's good.

[00:33:04] I don't need no rubber gloves if I got these you.

[00:33:06] Look, look, my daddy messed around back in the day.

[00:33:09] He had us washing dishes.

[00:33:11] He didn't tell us he had a dishwasher fix.

[00:33:13] Mmm.

[00:33:14] You wash the dishes by hand.

[00:33:14] You were the dishwasher, exactly.

[00:33:16] You wash the dishes by hand for about six months before you said, well, I got a dishwasher

[00:33:20] fixed.

[00:33:21] How long has it been fixed?

[00:33:22] About six months ago.

[00:33:23] I just want to see how long y'all was going to go before you asked.

[00:33:26] Man, I'm from middle Georgia.

[00:33:27] What dishwasher?

[00:33:28] We didn't know about no dishwasher until we went to like college or somebody else's house.

[00:33:33] I'm like, y'all got an oven next to the sink.

[00:33:36] Right.

[00:33:37] It's like, no.

[00:33:38] Pop that thing.

[00:33:38] I'm like, man, shut the front door.

[00:33:40] What is that right there?

[00:33:42] You know what I mean?

[00:33:43] So, the only thing I can say is when it comes to that is that's a real transition for us

[00:33:51] because everybody pitches in.

[00:33:53] Right.

[00:33:53] The girls clean up.

[00:33:54] We clean up.

[00:33:55] She's clean.

[00:33:57] So, it's just a house of just really just work.

[00:34:00] It wasn't hard.

[00:34:02] Yeah.

[00:34:02] Nothing about this transition has been hard.

[00:34:06] Right.

[00:34:06] And you know sometimes you just, you be feeling like you waiting on something to fall.

[00:34:12] Something to drop.

[00:34:14] It wasn't that.

[00:34:15] And now I don't expect it.

[00:34:17] I expect it to continue to be exactly what it has been because truthfully between me

[00:34:22] and her and how we operate, we've already set the expectation.

[00:34:26] Right.

[00:34:26] Yeah.

[00:34:27] So, if I ain't clean, you know.

[00:34:29] They see us clean and so it was like, hey, you know, I think we do a lot of leading by

[00:34:34] example.

[00:34:35] And then we talk a lot to our children.

[00:34:37] Yeah.

[00:34:37] That's the kind of father he is anyway.

[00:34:39] And that's kind of mom I am.

[00:34:41] Like, we literally have conversations with our children.

[00:34:44] Yes.

[00:34:45] And even if they get in trouble, we talking about it.

[00:34:47] Yeah.

[00:34:47] We have these right here.

[00:34:48] We do.

[00:34:49] Right.

[00:34:49] We have a moment in the house that me and her talk about us like, hey, listen, we don't

[00:34:52] have what we call a round table discussion.

[00:34:54] Yes.

[00:34:54] This is the moment that anything going on, anything you said, something that you don't

[00:34:58] like about how we may have done something, said something.

[00:35:01] This is the moment we can talk when you don't get in trouble.

[00:35:04] Right.

[00:35:04] You know what I mean?

[00:35:05] Because I want this household and this family to feel like they have a voice.

[00:35:09] Right.

[00:35:10] Exactly.

[00:35:10] And you ain't just, you know, respect is always the number one rule.

[00:35:14] However, you know, we still are family and we're family as a girl.

[00:35:19] Right.

[00:35:19] Now, it's funny between me and her.

[00:35:22] Now, we do have things that when it comes to like keeping the house clean, that we'll do

[00:35:26] it, but we don't like the, like for her, she don't like laundry.

[00:35:29] At all.

[00:35:30] I like laundry because I can multitask.

[00:35:33] Like, I'll be watching the game, the laundry's all in there, I'm eating chips, doing

[00:35:36] whatever I need to do.

[00:35:37] Have any.

[00:35:38] And flip out and then you know, you put them in the dryer and then that get done, you throw

[00:35:42] the next load in.

[00:35:43] And I'm conscious that she don't like it, but I don't like cleaning no bathroom.

[00:35:47] And I'm cleaning.

[00:35:47] I'm not going to touch that bathroom.

[00:35:49] You know what I mean?

[00:35:50] But, yes, I have to.

[00:35:51] That's just balance.

[00:35:53] What is mine?

[00:35:54] She never liked vacuum.

[00:35:55] No.

[00:35:55] Really?

[00:35:56] I can't stand a vacuum.

[00:35:56] We both like the vacuum so much.

[00:35:59] Today, I'm just good.

[00:35:59] I ain't got no carpet, but you know, I had the vacuum out.

[00:36:02] I'm just going around, you know.

[00:36:03] I cannot stand that.

[00:36:05] That's something me and her both got to.

[00:36:06] We gotta stop because-

[00:36:07] We do it every day, probably like two or so a half a day.

[00:36:09] I laugh because I like the vacuum.

[00:36:11] Well, I don't like carpet.

[00:36:13] But if I got carpet, I'm going to vacuum obsessively.

[00:36:16] But then he'll vacuum.

[00:36:17] And I be like, I just did like a couple hours a day.

[00:36:20] Yeah.

[00:36:20] It's like-

[00:36:21] He's like, okay.

[00:36:22] I get it.

[00:36:23] Sure.

[00:36:24] I have a breakdown.

[00:36:26] Yeah.

[00:36:27] Really, that's what it is.

[00:36:28] Yeah, that's what I did.

[00:36:30] I was like, I need too many feet, Brent.

[00:36:32] I need a vacuum.

[00:36:33] It's like-

[00:36:33] I feel like that.

[00:36:34] It's great.

[00:36:35] I'm talking all that vacuum.

[00:36:36] I can't have it.

[00:36:38] I don't know if my mama caught me off guard with the cord one day or what, but I don't

[00:36:43] do vacuums.

[00:36:44] Ooh, listen.

[00:36:45] Hey, I remember that vacuum cleaner with the cord.

[00:36:48] Now, when we moved in here, I got a cordless little cordless one.

[00:36:55] Facts.

[00:36:56] And I'll use that.

[00:36:57] So, I don't know what it is.

[00:36:58] I think my mama caught me with that cord one day.

[00:37:01] Okay.

[00:37:01] What's he using?

[00:37:02] What are you doing to do?

[00:37:04] Okay.

[00:37:04] So, I do laundry.

[00:37:08] Okay.

[00:37:09] Because I like to do it, fold it, and put it away.

[00:37:13] If he does laundry, I have to get it out of the dryer to continue the process.

[00:37:21] Don't you laugh at me?

[00:37:22] And it throws me off because-

[00:37:25] You know why I'm laughing.

[00:37:26] Because it's a process.

[00:37:27] It's a process.

[00:37:27] It's a process.

[00:37:29] And if he throws a kink in my process, then I gotta wait until I get ready to do laundry.

[00:37:34] Well, I will say there had been a shift throughout the years because in the beginning, because I always worked rotating shifts.

[00:37:43] So, I was off during the week.

[00:37:45] So, I'd end up doing a lot of stuff.

[00:37:47] But I'm just used to my pace.

[00:37:48] It's like, hey, I'm gonna put it in the washer.

[00:37:50] I'm gonna run to the stove.

[00:37:52] I'm gonna come back.

[00:37:53] I'm gonna get out of the dryer.

[00:37:54] And I'm gonna sit there and fold them later on.

[00:37:56] That's just my pace.

[00:37:57] You know what I'm saying?

[00:37:58] That.

[00:37:59] His pace.

[00:38:00] Go ahead and spread the shirts out so they don't get too regular.

[00:38:04] Because nah.

[00:38:05] Because I don't iron.

[00:38:06] She don't iron.

[00:38:06] We don't either.

[00:38:07] Oh, that's how I have to iron.

[00:38:10] And even then, like it's a process.

[00:38:15] I could tell my mama that in 85 years.

[00:38:18] We can't.

[00:38:18] No, I couldn't even.

[00:38:19] That's why I don't like that.

[00:38:20] I couldn't tell her that.

[00:38:20] That's what the dryer's for.

[00:38:23] Exactly.

[00:38:25] Exactly.

[00:38:25] Exactly.

[00:38:27] Yeah.

[00:38:27] And if you get a washcloth and dampen it to throw in the dryer with the stuff, it

[00:38:32] creates steam.

[00:38:33] Yes, sir.

[00:38:34] Exactly.

[00:38:35] I hate to iron, so that's one of them.

[00:38:37] But that's the thing with him is, so the boy, the oldest, when he was a baby, I'm sitting

[00:38:46] there holding him and he starts to whimper.

[00:38:48] And I said, can you get a bottle?

[00:38:50] And he said, yeah.

[00:38:51] We're sitting on the couch holding the baby.

[00:38:54] And he said, yeah.

[00:38:56] We're getting louder.

[00:38:57] And I said, can you go get the bottle for the baby?

[00:39:01] Yeah, I'm going to get it.

[00:39:03] I sat there.

[00:39:03] And so finally, I said, do I need to get it?

[00:39:06] He got up and he got the bottle.

[00:39:07] So later on, I said, what was that?

[00:39:10] I wasn't asking you to do something for me.

[00:39:12] I'm asking you to get your son a bottle.

[00:39:14] Right.

[00:39:15] He looked at me and said, when I was little, my mom and daddy told me to do something.

[00:39:22] I had to do it right then.

[00:39:23] But I'm gone now.

[00:39:27] I didn't want to do it right then.

[00:39:28] And the baby crying.

[00:39:32] So that sounds like, I need one or two commands.

[00:39:36] I need one or two questions.

[00:39:38] You know, it's like, you got in the process.

[00:39:40] You had to do it.

[00:39:41] Yeah, you did.

[00:39:42] Like you didn't move quick enough.

[00:39:44] Right, right, right.

[00:39:45] I'm a grown man now.

[00:39:46] He said, you know, I'm going to take my time with you.

[00:39:49] He's going to get jumped on in the process.

[00:39:51] He said, right.

[00:39:52] He'll do it.

[00:39:52] He ready.

[00:39:53] But that's the type of stuff that we deal with.

[00:39:56] He's not as time conscious as I am.

[00:39:59] So we get ready to go somewhere.

[00:40:01] We all got our thing because I used to get in trouble for being so literal.

[00:40:05] So yeah, you are.

[00:40:06] That's the part that now, if there's something that aggravates her about me, that part.

[00:40:11] And I use this example because this is the example that got me in trouble even as a kid.

[00:40:15] If my mom would say something like get up the trash.

[00:40:19] I did it.

[00:40:20] Yeah.

[00:40:21] And then she would say something to me like, why you take the trash out?

[00:40:25] You didn't tell me to take the trash out.

[00:40:28] You know.

[00:40:29] For real.

[00:40:31] For me, everybody thinks it's a joke.

[00:40:33] Like they laughing and my mom getting upset.

[00:40:35] I'm like, you didn't say take the trash out.

[00:40:39] You said get the trash up.

[00:40:41] Right.

[00:40:41] And so, you know, she'd get mad at me and says like, I'm going to work.

[00:40:45] I want you to put the clothes in the washing machine and then put the clothes in the dryer.

[00:40:48] Okay.

[00:40:50] So when she get home, the clothes are in the washing machine.

[00:40:53] And then they put it in the dryer.

[00:40:55] And then she says, well, Areson, why you didn't turn it on?

[00:40:58] Well, you told me to put the clothes in the dryer.

[00:41:02] I used to think he was joking about it.

[00:41:05] And he did.

[00:41:06] I can't remember what he did.

[00:41:07] And I was like, wow.

[00:41:09] She would ask me to do certain things.

[00:41:11] For real.

[00:41:12] Or it'd be something as simple as, hey babe, would you mind?

[00:41:15] I'll just use this as an example.

[00:41:17] Like, hey babe, would you mind taking the juices out?

[00:41:20] Because I'm going to put them in the bottom of the pantry.

[00:41:22] Or something.

[00:41:23] Something simple like that.

[00:41:24] And then I was like, oh my gosh.

[00:41:24] And it can be just something like, I took them out the bag and I left them on the counter.

[00:41:29] It's like, well babe, why you put them in the pantry?

[00:41:31] Because you said.

[00:41:32] You said that you were going to do.

[00:41:34] So for me, and I'm getting better at it.

[00:41:37] I'm a lot better now because I didn't like to assume that's what people meant.

[00:41:41] If you say that's what it was.

[00:41:43] Yeah, that was it.

[00:41:44] Don't assume.

[00:41:45] Like, yeah.

[00:41:46] I don't go past B.

[00:41:48] You know, we were A and I've gotten better now.

[00:41:51] But pause.

[00:41:52] So what's so funny about that is, because, okay, I don't assume, but I guess I was reading

[00:41:58] more.

[00:41:58] So like, we had a disagreement.

[00:42:00] Mm-hmm.

[00:42:01] And I go like, farther to what I thought he was thinking.

[00:42:05] He was like, hold up, hold up, hold up.

[00:42:06] You know I'm a literalist, right?

[00:42:08] Yeah.

[00:42:08] So if I said A, that's all I meant was just A.

[00:42:14] You know what, B, C, D, E, L.

[00:42:16] It was just A.

[00:42:17] And I'm like, are you sure?

[00:42:20] He was like, I promise you.

[00:42:21] Because I compartmentalize everything.

[00:42:23] Right.

[00:42:23] I've never put anything in my life in life as I did because that's how I learned how to

[00:42:27] control my emotions and how to deal with it.

[00:42:30] Mm-hmm.

[00:42:30] Anything that's deal.

[00:42:31] You know, you have a hard day at work.

[00:42:33] Yeah.

[00:42:33] But work was work.

[00:42:34] Yeah.

[00:42:34] When I get home, that ain't got nothing to do with this.

[00:42:36] Right.

[00:42:36] So I got to leave that there.

[00:42:38] And now my attitude now is toward the family.

[00:42:41] Mm-hmm.

[00:42:41] So I'm cool.

[00:42:43] Yeah.

[00:42:43] Even if that mean I got to decompress for a half a second.

[00:42:45] I'm cool.

[00:42:46] Right.

[00:42:46] Right.

[00:42:46] I got nothing to do with the rest of the day.

[00:42:48] Right.

[00:42:48] And sometimes she's like, you okay?

[00:42:49] All right.

[00:42:50] Yeah.

[00:42:50] I'm good.

[00:42:51] Yeah.

[00:42:51] And in her mind, she's like, something has troubled him for the day.

[00:42:55] But for me, it's just like, nah, I'm just closing that door of what happened that day

[00:42:59] so I can adjust to everybody.

[00:43:01] Yeah.

[00:43:01] And that's what it is.

[00:43:02] It's like, you know, it happened.

[00:43:05] Mm-hmm.

[00:43:06] Mm-hmm.

[00:43:06] You're all the way home thinking about it.

[00:43:09] And then when you pull up, it's like, okay, and she'll, she don't pay, I mean, I probably

[00:43:13] pay attention, but sometimes when I pull up, and I just park, and I just sit there and

[00:43:17] close it down.

[00:43:18] Mm-hmm.

[00:43:19] Because I'm trying to get all that out so I don't bring it home.

[00:43:22] Yeah.

[00:43:23] That's smart.

[00:43:24] And it's not, you know, always something big.

[00:43:27] Yeah.

[00:43:28] But I maybe have started thinking about something that I need to do.

[00:43:31] Mm-hmm.

[00:43:31] Mm-hmm.

[00:43:31] I'm like, okay, I'm gonna get my mind right.

[00:43:34] Right.

[00:43:34] I done worked 12 hours, but I need to cut the grass.

[00:43:36] Right.

[00:43:37] Because I don't want to do it on my off day.

[00:43:39] That's right.

[00:43:39] So, you know, it's like, let me get in my mind, all right, I need to get gas, I need

[00:43:43] to do this, I'm gonna do that, I'm gonna do that, I'm gonna do that, and I plan everything.

[00:43:47] Right.

[00:43:48] You know what I'm saying?

[00:43:48] That's how I am.

[00:43:49] It took a while to understand that.

[00:43:51] She's like, yes.

[00:43:53] That's me.

[00:43:54] I sit there, playing everything.

[00:43:55] Yeah.

[00:43:56] Yeah.

[00:43:56] And then when we get ready to go somewhere, I'm playing on the route.

[00:44:00] Shoot.

[00:44:00] I'm like, okay, I'm gonna go this way, I'm gonna take this turn, I'm gonna go Bobby

[00:44:05] Jones instead of I-to-I, you know what I'm saying?

[00:44:07] Yeah.

[00:44:09] Like, just take us there.

[00:44:10] Yeah.

[00:44:11] Right.

[00:44:12] That's what GPS does too.

[00:44:15] I'm the GPS guy.

[00:44:16] Yeah.

[00:44:17] I'm planning, I'm planning, like I'm planning my day before I get started.

[00:44:20] It's like I have to just think through it all.

[00:44:22] You know?

[00:44:23] Mm-hmm.

[00:44:23] I just, yeah.

[00:44:24] Yeah.

[00:44:24] I'm a little bit like that, but not quite.

[00:44:28] He has me beat with some of his stuff.

[00:44:32] Yeah.

[00:44:33] Um, so, any more kids?

[00:44:36] No.

[00:44:37] Oh no.

[00:44:38] No, no, no, no.

[00:44:39] No, Sam.

[00:44:41] You unspoken that in this.

[00:44:42] This is quick on the draw.

[00:44:43] Oh boy, boy, that thing came out.

[00:44:46] Cut it camera.

[00:44:47] That thing came out quick.

[00:44:49] No.

[00:44:50] No.

[00:44:50] No.

[00:44:51] So I'm like, pop.

[00:44:52] No.

[00:44:53] That was quick.

[00:44:54] Man, I feel that thing out in the street.

[00:44:56] You know what?

[00:44:56] You do do it.

[00:44:58] Whatever.

[00:44:59] Uh oh.

[00:45:00] No.

[00:45:01] I'm just wondering if I had to get in auntie mode.

[00:45:03] Mm-mm.

[00:45:04] We got a number.

[00:45:05] We got a number.

[00:45:06] We got a number.

[00:45:06] Together we have five.

[00:45:08] Right.

[00:45:08] And the twins are the youngest.

[00:45:10] They just turned nine.

[00:45:12] Who's gonna start up?

[00:45:12] Oh, yeah.

[00:45:13] Oh, wow.

[00:45:14] Hey, I feel you.

[00:45:15] Okay.

[00:45:16] I just wanted to throw that out.

[00:45:17] You talking about sitting in a truck?

[00:45:19] Why don't we sit outside all night?

[00:45:20] Right.

[00:45:20] Right.

[00:45:22] We was gonna have one of the lights.

[00:45:23] We be sitting out.

[00:45:23] Look, we be taking turns.

[00:45:25] We just got to the point where we can leave them at home.

[00:45:28] Right.

[00:45:28] And we be like, what?

[00:45:29] Isn't that good?

[00:45:30] Yes.

[00:45:33] My niece, she, um, she was, well, she, they been mad.

[00:45:38] They've been on our show before.

[00:45:39] Mm-hmm.

[00:45:40] And her daddy was like, they really had kids yet?

[00:45:45] Nah, they, you know, they working on it.

[00:45:47] Her daddy said, but she better hurry up.

[00:45:50] Cause once you passed 30 years old, they ain't had no kids.

[00:45:53] Yeah.

[00:45:54] They look touched.

[00:45:55] They come out a little touched.

[00:45:57] Damn.

[00:45:58] Hey, you know, I heard that too though.

[00:46:00] You know what?

[00:46:00] That's funny.

[00:46:01] I heard that.

[00:46:02] You're not trying to be funny, man.

[00:46:03] You know what I'm saying.

[00:46:04] You know what I'm saying.

[00:46:05] You know what I'm saying.

[00:46:06] I'm gonna say it the nice one.

[00:46:07] There be something wrong, but boy, they be super smart.

[00:46:09] Yeah.

[00:46:10] Oh yeah.

[00:46:11] Yeah.

[00:46:11] Yeah.

[00:46:12] Yeah.

[00:46:13] Yeah.

[00:46:13] Yeah.

[00:46:13] Yeah.

[00:46:14] All right.

[00:46:14] Well boy, they be so much.

[00:46:16] They're little touched.

[00:46:17] Yeah.

[00:46:17] Youngest, oldest, smartest sperm you ever seen in your life?

[00:46:20] Yes, sir.

[00:46:21] Yes, sir.

[00:46:21] Yes, sir.

[00:46:22] My dad says, he said, you know, the kids will be outside playing.

[00:46:26] They might run up the street.

[00:46:27] He might be a little behind them.

[00:46:29] He coming.

[00:46:30] Right.

[00:46:32] He coming.

[00:46:33] He just take a little more time.

[00:46:34] Take his time.

[00:46:35] That be that cousin.

[00:46:36] I don't know.

[00:46:36] I want to play no sports or nothing.

[00:46:37] But they just sit around and watch everybody.

[00:46:39] They sit around and watch everybody.

[00:46:40] Everybody that's out playing ball, they want to go start a garden and then they'll be

[00:46:43] Be on the board knitting.

[00:46:45] Thinking I got to cook.

[00:46:48] Studying.

[00:46:50] Boy, you going to get your grandma

[00:46:51] set for out here to help us?

[00:46:53] No, I'm just sitting inside.

[00:46:56] I like sleeping on.

[00:46:57] They better sit inside.

[00:46:58] My kids, they are independent. We can sleep off.

[00:47:01] They go to bed.

[00:47:03] Now, what's the age ranges

[00:47:05] of children?

[00:47:07] The oldest two are 12.

[00:47:10] So his daughter

[00:47:11] is the same age as my daughter.

[00:47:12] My oldest.

[00:47:13] So it just worked great.

[00:47:16] So we got two friends to be 13.

[00:47:19] Oh, a 10-year-old.

[00:47:20] And then twins just turned nine.

[00:47:22] Yeah.

[00:47:24] And you think we're going to start over in our late 30s?

[00:47:27] This is the thing I mean,

[00:47:28] I always laugh about when we talk about it.

[00:47:30] We got to entertain the idea

[00:47:32] for a second. But my whole thing

[00:47:34] was, I was like,

[00:47:35] if we start over now, we're going to be like

[00:47:39] 60s. You know what I mean?

[00:47:41] With a kid around life.

[00:47:42] But if we stay the course,

[00:47:44] we're going to be done.

[00:47:45] The next is in the morning.

[00:47:46] You know what I mean?

[00:47:47] Yes.

[00:47:48] We good to go.

[00:47:49] Like, I don't know about her.

[00:47:50] Look at that.

[00:47:51] I don't know about her,

[00:47:52] but I'm already in my head.

[00:47:53] Like, they nice.

[00:47:54] No, I'm in my head.

[00:47:55] That's nine more years.

[00:47:56] Yeah, right.

[00:47:57] Right.

[00:47:58] Like, can't say,

[00:47:59] shimma now, shimma now bye.

[00:48:00] I'm not.

[00:48:01] Hey, bro.

[00:48:02] Look at him,

[00:48:02] because we get ready to go.

[00:48:04] Yeah, I hope we go.

[00:48:06] We going such and such.

[00:48:08] How long have y'all been international?

[00:48:10] So, semi.

[00:48:12] But they adults, though.

[00:48:13] But, you know,

[00:48:14] you ain't got to cater.

[00:48:15] Ain't got to worry about what y'all going to eat.

[00:48:17] Ain't got to worry about food.

[00:48:18] I don't even worry about food.

[00:48:19] Food or anything like that with them.

[00:48:21] Like, last week,

[00:48:21] we went to Murder Beach

[00:48:23] for a birthday.

[00:48:24] Yeah.

[00:48:25] Monday came back Friday.

[00:48:27] Sweet.

[00:48:28] We just told them,

[00:48:29] hey, we're gone.

[00:48:30] Y'all hold for it down.

[00:48:32] Right.

[00:48:32] Do that porch light on

[00:48:34] and all this stuff.

[00:48:36] So.

[00:48:38] That's a good feeling, ain't it?

[00:48:39] Yeah, it is.

[00:48:39] Absolutely.

[00:48:41] We have our two birth children.

[00:48:45] We have two adopted kids.

[00:48:46] The two adopted kids,

[00:48:49] our first adopted child

[00:48:51] had a baby.

[00:48:53] Wasn't ready.

[00:48:53] So, we adopted her baby.

[00:48:56] Her baby just turned 13.

[00:48:59] We had her until she was 8.

[00:49:02] Yep.

[00:49:03] So, about 4 and a half,

[00:49:04] 5 years ago,

[00:49:05] she said,

[00:49:06] Mama, I think I'm ready.

[00:49:07] And I said,

[00:49:08] Yes, baby, you are.

[00:49:09] As am I.

[00:49:10] And so.

[00:49:11] Not as am I.

[00:49:12] So, since then,

[00:49:13] that was like,

[00:49:16] that was,

[00:49:17] like you said,

[00:49:18] we weren't expecting.

[00:49:20] My whole thing was

[00:49:21] at 45 and 46,

[00:49:23] we're going to be free.

[00:49:24] Yeah, right.

[00:49:24] And so,

[00:49:25] when we,

[00:49:25] when we had the baby,

[00:49:27] I'm like,

[00:49:28] this is unexpected.

[00:49:29] This was not.

[00:49:30] And so,

[00:49:31] that was an adjustment.

[00:49:32] Y'all went to the baby store

[00:49:34] and stood

[00:49:36] and turned right back around

[00:49:38] and walked out

[00:49:39] because,

[00:49:40] like,

[00:49:41] our babies made it

[00:49:42] without all this extra stuff.

[00:49:43] They got so much stuff.

[00:49:44] So much stuff.

[00:49:45] Yeah,

[00:49:45] I couldn't do that again.

[00:49:47] Right.

[00:49:47] Right.

[00:49:48] Right.

[00:49:49] And so.

[00:49:50] And the thought of

[00:49:51] pampers again.

[00:49:52] Right.

[00:49:53] Right.

[00:49:54] And feeding.

[00:49:55] Right.

[00:49:56] And I had to take the car

[00:49:58] with all this stuff

[00:49:59] just to go somewhere out.

[00:50:00] That scared me.

[00:50:02] That's what it was.

[00:50:03] Yeah.

[00:50:04] Yeah.

[00:50:04] And pampers are like,

[00:50:05] I'm just 20 hours back.

[00:50:08] Right.

[00:50:08] Yeah.

[00:50:08] And what I'm not going to do

[00:50:10] is cloth diapers.

[00:50:12] Oh, gosh.

[00:50:13] So.

[00:50:14] And formula goes so much.

[00:50:15] Right.

[00:50:16] Oh, my God.

[00:50:17] So, we had,

[00:50:18] we moved in here

[00:50:20] in 2019

[00:50:20] and we had

[00:50:22] a dog,

[00:50:24] our Milo.

[00:50:25] He was 16

[00:50:27] and we had to put him down.

[00:50:28] Mm-hmm.

[00:50:29] And so,

[00:50:30] that was in what?

[00:50:31] 20,

[00:50:32] that was 2021.

[00:50:33] Yeah.

[00:50:33] We put him down.

[00:50:34] So,

[00:50:36] I go back and forth

[00:50:38] with

[00:50:42] a dog.

[00:50:42] Oh.

[00:50:43] But then I think

[00:50:44] of the responsibility.

[00:50:46] Yeah, like a kitty.

[00:50:47] So,

[00:50:47] I don't even want

[00:50:48] another cat.

[00:50:49] You know what I'm saying?

[00:50:50] Right.

[00:50:50] But you want like

[00:50:51] an in-house dog.

[00:50:52] That's her.

[00:50:53] That's our dog.

[00:50:54] Yeah.

[00:50:54] That's a whole other person

[00:50:55] almost.

[00:50:56] So,

[00:50:56] I feel you.

[00:50:57] I understand.

[00:50:58] I don't,

[00:50:58] I don't even want

[00:50:59] to take care of

[00:51:01] another pet.

[00:51:02] So,

[00:51:02] it's time to go.

[00:51:04] Before we move on.

[00:51:05] Say it one more time.

[00:51:06] Where that dog is?

[00:51:06] No.

[00:51:07] No.

[00:51:07] Hold on.

[00:51:08] Hold on.

[00:51:08] Hold on.

[00:51:09] Hold on.

[00:51:09] Okay.

[00:51:10] And you said

[00:51:10] how much responsibility

[00:51:11] they didn't keep it?

[00:51:12] I know.

[00:51:13] We never have one

[00:51:14] in the house.

[00:51:15] I ain't gonna start

[00:51:15] because it'll be little

[00:51:16] but then it'll go outside.

[00:51:18] Now,

[00:51:18] this is one thing

[00:51:19] I can say.

[00:51:20] If you find one

[00:51:21] that's already trained

[00:51:23] and house broken,

[00:51:25] it is a joy.

[00:51:26] Because like,

[00:51:27] I miss,

[00:51:27] you know,

[00:51:28] just

[00:51:29] being at the feet.

[00:51:30] Like,

[00:51:30] we sit up there eating

[00:51:31] and just sitting there

[00:51:32] watching.

[00:51:32] Looking up,

[00:51:33] waiting on you

[00:51:34] to drop something.

[00:51:34] I do miss him.

[00:51:36] But I mean,

[00:51:37] that dog started outside.

[00:51:40] And that's

[00:51:41] my daughter's.

[00:51:41] I,

[00:51:42] I,

[00:51:42] I,

[00:51:43] it started outside.

[00:51:44] When,

[00:51:45] when God made him.

[00:51:47] No word.

[00:51:48] I'm done.

[00:51:49] I'm done.

[00:51:50] And I'm,

[00:51:51] I'm split on that one.

[00:51:52] I am.

[00:51:53] Because it is,

[00:51:55] but y'all got kids

[00:51:56] right now.

[00:51:57] Right.

[00:51:57] So,

[00:51:58] I mean,

[00:51:58] adding responsibility

[00:51:59] is one thing.

[00:52:01] See,

[00:52:01] for us,

[00:52:01] it would be like

[00:52:02] the whole baby.

[00:52:04] They got each other.

[00:52:06] They,

[00:52:07] they came together.

[00:52:08] It's okay.

[00:52:09] Hey,

[00:52:09] hey,

[00:52:10] hey,

[00:52:10] hey,

[00:52:11] you want to be right

[00:52:12] or you want to be happy?

[00:52:14] Let's throw it

[00:52:14] every dog for you.

[00:52:19] No,

[00:52:20] no,

[00:52:20] no.

[00:52:20] All just aside,

[00:52:21] all just aside,

[00:52:22] you are absolutely right.

[00:52:23] But in this one,

[00:52:24] I want to be right.

[00:52:26] You know what?

[00:52:27] This is what happened

[00:52:28] with dogs that day.

[00:52:29] See,

[00:52:30] see,

[00:52:30] with kids,

[00:52:31] man,

[00:52:32] this is,

[00:52:32] this is the thing.

[00:52:32] Everybody loves it.

[00:52:34] The idea is just great.

[00:52:36] Oh,

[00:52:36] I got to have a house dog.

[00:52:38] And then when they start

[00:52:39] pooping and they got

[00:52:40] to train them

[00:52:41] and you got to walk them

[00:52:42] when it's raining,

[00:52:44] when it's cold,

[00:52:45] you got to take them.

[00:52:46] See,

[00:52:47] that's the part

[00:52:47] that the kids

[00:52:48] don't know me understand.

[00:52:49] It all sounds

[00:52:50] sweet.

[00:52:51] Oh,

[00:52:52] that thing just floating

[00:52:53] in the sky

[00:52:54] and just,

[00:52:54] that dog gonna sit

[00:52:55] on my couch.

[00:52:57] What's he doing

[00:52:57] when he's chewing up

[00:52:58] your shoes?

[00:52:59] Yeah,

[00:52:59] yeah.

[00:53:00] Mishing up your home.

[00:53:01] I'm glad you said that

[00:53:02] because I have to have

[00:53:04] reminders.

[00:53:05] Why?

[00:53:06] I do.

[00:53:07] I do.

[00:53:08] And when we're around

[00:53:09] people that have pets

[00:53:10] and,

[00:53:11] and I have to,

[00:53:12] I sit there

[00:53:12] and I pet the dog

[00:53:14] and I'm saying

[00:53:14] I don't need

[00:53:15] responsibility.

[00:53:15] I have to remind myself

[00:53:17] because I do.

[00:53:17] Now,

[00:53:18] I will say with Milo,

[00:53:19] he was,

[00:53:19] he was raining.

[00:53:21] He was such a good dog.

[00:53:22] It wasn't a whole lot

[00:53:23] of tearing up.

[00:53:24] It wasn't a whole lot

[00:53:25] of,

[00:53:25] it was a few little things

[00:53:26] that he got a whole to

[00:53:28] that he would mess around with

[00:53:29] and it was usually

[00:53:30] the kids though,

[00:53:31] so.

[00:53:32] Mm-hmm.

[00:53:32] And he,

[00:53:33] he was trained

[00:53:34] when we got him.

[00:53:35] Yeah.

[00:53:35] That's awesome.

[00:53:35] And so we'd say

[00:53:36] Milo go night-night

[00:53:37] and he'd just go?

[00:53:39] He'd go in.

[00:53:40] Yeah.

[00:53:40] That's awesome.

[00:53:40] When he,

[00:53:41] just like kids,

[00:53:42] when he got to a certain age,

[00:53:44] you say Milo go night-night

[00:53:45] and he'd look at you.

[00:53:46] Yeah.

[00:53:47] And you have to tap the thing

[00:53:48] and he'd look at you

[00:53:49] and go in there

[00:53:50] with an attitude.

[00:53:51] but,

[00:53:51] and then as he got older,

[00:53:53] we didn't use it that much.

[00:53:56] Because he got to the point

[00:53:57] where I would let him out,

[00:53:58] open the door,

[00:53:58] you go.

[00:53:59] Go out,

[00:54:00] man.

[00:54:00] You just sitting at the door.

[00:54:01] Just chilling.

[00:54:02] Yeah.

[00:54:03] Sometimes we forget about it.

[00:54:04] Oh my gosh.

[00:54:06] Oh my gosh.

[00:54:07] He said,

[00:54:07] there's this bargain.

[00:54:08] You might have added that.

[00:54:11] He gone with me.

[00:54:12] Oh my gosh.

[00:54:13] He gone with me.

[00:54:14] All right.

[00:54:15] Milo.

[00:54:15] They're going to be like,

[00:54:16] that's why he got out of here.

[00:54:18] Come and get him.

[00:54:19] They left him at the door.

[00:54:20] Oh my God.

[00:54:22] That was true.

[00:54:23] So,

[00:54:23] what has been something

[00:54:24] that's been like,

[00:54:25] you didn't think about

[00:54:27] or it's been shocking?

[00:54:28] Has there been anything

[00:54:30] that y'all have been like,

[00:54:31] oh,

[00:54:31] we didn't think about that?

[00:54:32] They can do.

[00:54:37] It hasn't been a problem

[00:54:48] but I think the unspoken thing

[00:54:50] that me and her

[00:54:51] may have had

[00:54:51] in the back of our head

[00:54:52] is the,

[00:54:54] how we gonna parent

[00:54:56] with the other parents.

[00:54:57] How that process may go.

[00:54:59] You know what I mean?

[00:55:00] Right.

[00:55:01] Yeah.

[00:55:01] You don't ever really know.

[00:55:02] That's a good one.

[00:55:02] You don't ever really know.

[00:55:04] Right.

[00:55:04] It can be cool right now.

[00:55:06] Right.

[00:55:07] But things could have changed

[00:55:08] or maybe it's growing

[00:55:11] into an understanding

[00:55:12] with the other parent

[00:55:13] because,

[00:55:13] you know,

[00:55:15] not,

[00:55:15] and thank God,

[00:55:16] we,

[00:55:17] like I said,

[00:55:17] we have very respectable kids.

[00:55:19] We have been very fortunate

[00:55:21] in that

[00:55:22] but,

[00:55:22] you know,

[00:55:23] you don't ever know

[00:55:24] if a parent saying,

[00:55:26] well,

[00:55:26] you know,

[00:55:27] I'm your dad

[00:55:28] or I'm your mama.

[00:55:29] You do what I tell you.

[00:55:30] People will do that.

[00:55:31] And for a child

[00:55:32] that can,

[00:55:33] you know,

[00:55:33] you come back home

[00:55:34] that,

[00:55:35] you know,

[00:55:35] that can,

[00:55:36] you know,

[00:55:37] you know,

[00:55:38] we got lucky

[00:55:39] because,

[00:55:40] you know,

[00:55:41] especially with the girls,

[00:55:42] the girls that we have

[00:55:43] you know,

[00:55:45] they,

[00:55:46] they love

[00:55:47] all of us.

[00:55:48] Mm-hmm.

[00:55:49] You know,

[00:55:50] their biological

[00:55:50] and,

[00:55:51] you know,

[00:55:52] their,

[00:55:52] I'm going to say the way

[00:55:53] you said it,

[00:55:53] bonus parents.

[00:55:54] Bonus parents.

[00:55:55] Bonus parents.

[00:55:58] And,

[00:56:00] I will give her credit

[00:56:01] for this.

[00:56:03] She doesn't speak bad

[00:56:04] of her ex-husband.

[00:56:07] Right.

[00:56:08] I don't speak bad

[00:56:09] of my ex-wife.

[00:56:11] whatever idea

[00:56:13] or thought

[00:56:14] that is formed,

[00:56:16] it is a hundred

[00:56:17] percent

[00:56:19] their own.

[00:56:20] Right.

[00:56:21] Right.

[00:56:21] So,

[00:56:21] it doesn't feel like,

[00:56:23] yeah.

[00:56:24] Being influenced

[00:56:25] a certain way.

[00:56:26] a certain way.

[00:56:26] So,

[00:56:27] I would say

[00:56:27] that's probably

[00:56:28] like the only thing

[00:56:29] that we've never

[00:56:31] said it out loud,

[00:56:32] but I'm sure

[00:56:32] we both were

[00:56:33] kind of concerned

[00:56:33] about just

[00:56:35] kind of wondering,

[00:56:35] you know,

[00:56:36] if we want to do

[00:56:37] some kind of

[00:56:37] adjustment here and there,

[00:56:38] but we haven't

[00:56:40] had anything.

[00:56:41] We haven't.

[00:56:41] That's great.

[00:56:42] That's great.

[00:56:42] I think us coming

[00:56:43] back together

[00:56:45] this second time

[00:56:46] around and having

[00:56:47] gone through some

[00:56:48] things in life

[00:56:49] and gone through

[00:56:50] a marriage before,

[00:56:51] yeah,

[00:56:52] we are,

[00:56:53] we have avoided

[00:56:55] and we have also

[00:56:56] talked about

[00:56:57] a lot of things

[00:56:58] up front

[00:56:58] so that

[00:56:59] it ain't

[00:57:01] been nothing

[00:57:01] that we have

[00:57:02] to worry about

[00:57:03] that may pop up

[00:57:04] because

[00:57:06] I met her

[00:57:07] in a place

[00:57:07] where it was

[00:57:08] an open book.

[00:57:09] I caught her

[00:57:10] in the midst

[00:57:10] of a real storm.

[00:57:12] Yeah.

[00:57:13] Right.

[00:57:13] You know,

[00:57:14] so,

[00:57:14] it was an open book

[00:57:15] already.

[00:57:16] Oh,

[00:57:16] yeah.

[00:57:17] It was just

[00:57:17] already an open book.

[00:57:19] So,

[00:57:20] and for me,

[00:57:22] you know,

[00:57:23] I was,

[00:57:24] I was actually

[00:57:25] able to,

[00:57:26] what's those guys

[00:57:27] call that,

[00:57:28] be in the,

[00:57:29] in the towers

[00:57:31] for people

[00:57:32] that,

[00:57:32] you know,

[00:57:33] fly planes.

[00:57:34] the air control,

[00:57:35] the traffic control.

[00:57:36] Traffic control,

[00:57:37] I was able to be

[00:57:38] traffic control

[00:57:38] for her plane.

[00:57:40] Right.

[00:57:41] So,

[00:57:42] you know,

[00:57:42] when you're air

[00:57:43] controlled

[00:57:44] for the pilot,

[00:57:45] the pilot is still

[00:57:47] in control

[00:57:47] of what's going on

[00:57:48] because they are

[00:57:48] the one in the storm.

[00:57:50] We can only see

[00:57:51] what's going on

[00:57:51] from a distance

[00:57:52] and what's to come.

[00:57:53] So,

[00:57:54] we,

[00:57:55] we learned

[00:57:56] to build a bond

[00:57:57] of trust

[00:57:58] because you got

[00:58:00] to be able

[00:58:00] to trust

[00:58:01] what I'm telling

[00:58:02] you that you're in.

[00:58:03] Right,

[00:58:04] right.

[00:58:04] So,

[00:58:06] while doing so,

[00:58:08] it built us

[00:58:09] together.

[00:58:09] Yeah.

[00:58:10] Because,

[00:58:11] you know,

[00:58:12] one of the things,

[00:58:13] and we were just

[00:58:14] talking about this

[00:58:14] in the gym

[00:58:15] this morning

[00:58:16] when we was there,

[00:58:17] one of the things

[00:58:17] people run into

[00:58:18] is,

[00:58:18] oh,

[00:58:19] when we went

[00:58:19] to the gym,

[00:58:20] we was walking

[00:58:21] out of Sam's

[00:58:21] and she said it

[00:58:22] jokingly,

[00:58:23] she said it

[00:58:24] jokingly,

[00:58:26] she said it

[00:58:27] jokingly,

[00:58:27] but she said,

[00:58:28] she said,

[00:58:28] she said,

[00:58:29] that's why I love

[00:58:29] you.

[00:58:29] She said,

[00:58:30] because you're

[00:58:31] going to always

[00:58:31] try to look

[00:58:31] out for her.

[00:58:32] She said,

[00:58:32] I'm glad I'm

[00:58:32] able to,

[00:58:33] to trust

[00:58:34] your judgment.

[00:58:35] Yeah.

[00:58:37] And even

[00:58:37] though she said

[00:58:38] that it was

[00:58:39] one of the

[00:58:39] joking moments,

[00:58:39] that's a real

[00:58:40] thing because

[00:58:42] one of the

[00:58:42] biggest problems

[00:58:43] that people have

[00:58:43] in relationships

[00:58:44] is we all

[00:58:45] have the ideas

[00:58:46] of what we

[00:58:47] want,

[00:58:48] but then being

[00:58:49] able to say,

[00:58:50] I got to

[00:58:50] be able to

[00:58:50] trust you

[00:58:52] with how

[00:58:53] we going to

[00:58:54] get there.

[00:58:55] Yeah.

[00:58:55] Right.

[00:58:55] You know what

[00:58:55] I mean?

[00:58:56] Right.

[00:58:56] That's real.

[00:58:57] And she gives

[00:58:57] me the opportunity

[00:58:58] to,

[00:58:59] it don't always

[00:58:59] just work out

[00:59:00] just like I

[00:59:01] want it,

[00:59:01] you know what

[00:59:02] I'm saying?

[00:59:02] Right.

[00:59:03] But I do

[00:59:04] also know that

[00:59:06] wherever I may

[00:59:07] lack,

[00:59:08] she is very

[00:59:09] strong on making

[00:59:10] sure that she's

[00:59:11] going to cover me.

[00:59:12] Yep.

[00:59:12] And in the areas

[00:59:13] where I don't see,

[00:59:14] she's going to

[00:59:14] definitely speak up

[00:59:16] for me,

[00:59:16] you know,

[00:59:17] and vice versa.

[00:59:18] Now,

[00:59:18] she's more a little

[00:59:19] more outspoken.

[00:59:21] I know I'm

[00:59:21] doing a lot of

[00:59:22] talking today,

[00:59:23] but when it

[00:59:25] comes to like

[00:59:25] checking a

[00:59:26] situation,

[00:59:27] yeah,

[00:59:28] and really

[00:59:28] speaking on it,

[00:59:29] that's her.

[00:59:30] Now,

[00:59:31] I'm more of like

[00:59:31] when it's

[00:59:31] like,

[00:59:32] like,

[00:59:32] come on,

[00:59:33] let's talk

[00:59:33] about this.

[00:59:34] Now,

[00:59:34] this is,

[00:59:35] you know,

[00:59:35] I get exactly

[00:59:36] what you're

[00:59:36] saying,

[00:59:37] you know,

[00:59:37] this is how

[00:59:38] we should be.

[00:59:38] But if she

[00:59:39] see it,

[00:59:40] and it ain't

[00:59:40] sitting right

[00:59:41] in her spirit,

[00:59:42] and something

[00:59:42] going off,

[00:59:43] and she feel

[00:59:44] like they

[00:59:44] trying to do

[00:59:45] something the

[00:59:45] wrong way,

[00:59:46] no matter what

[00:59:46] the situation

[00:59:46] is,

[00:59:48] she turned into

[00:59:49] a real lioness

[00:59:50] in Standry

[00:59:51] right there.

[00:59:52] Yeah.

[00:59:52] And I tell

[00:59:52] all the time

[00:59:53] something that

[00:59:53] me and her

[00:59:53] dad,

[00:59:54] but I say,

[00:59:55] you know,

[00:59:55] you just

[00:59:55] like the

[00:59:55] queen on

[00:59:56] the chessboard.

[00:59:57] You're always,

[00:59:58] you know,

[00:59:58] you're always

[00:59:58] moving around

[00:59:59] protecting

[00:59:59] all of those.

[01:00:01] Oh,

[01:00:02] it's funny.

[01:00:05] He's so sweet.

[01:00:06] Sometimes.

[01:00:07] Oh.

[01:00:09] Sometimes.

[01:00:10] That's so sweet.

[01:00:11] So when you

[01:00:12] said that

[01:00:13] you helped

[01:00:14] her out of

[01:00:14] the storm,

[01:00:15] yes.

[01:00:16] So now,

[01:00:17] was that

[01:00:18] your divorce

[01:00:19] is kind of

[01:00:20] like at the

[01:00:21] end?

[01:00:22] Yes.

[01:00:22] Or you just

[01:00:22] got out of

[01:00:23] it?

[01:00:23] Yes.

[01:00:24] Okay.

[01:00:25] Yes.

[01:00:26] Well,

[01:00:27] and not trying

[01:00:28] to give that

[01:00:28] so much credit,

[01:00:29] but it was a

[01:00:30] lot of things

[01:00:30] because you

[01:00:31] went from being

[01:00:32] a stay-at-home

[01:00:32] mom to

[01:00:33] having to get

[01:00:34] back into

[01:00:34] the worst

[01:00:35] deal.

[01:00:36] All of that.

[01:00:37] You got to

[01:00:37] get your own

[01:00:38] car.

[01:00:38] You got to

[01:00:38] get your

[01:00:39] own apartment.

[01:00:39] You got to

[01:00:40] get your

[01:00:40] own job.

[01:00:41] I mean,

[01:00:41] you know,

[01:00:41] like a lot

[01:00:42] of things

[01:00:43] that I hadn't

[01:00:45] had to do

[01:00:45] in school.

[01:00:46] Plus school.

[01:00:47] Yeah,

[01:00:48] and I was

[01:00:48] in school

[01:00:48] full-time.

[01:00:49] So,

[01:00:50] and then

[01:00:50] like,

[01:00:51] so as I

[01:00:52] told you,

[01:00:52] so I

[01:00:52] have four

[01:00:53] biological

[01:00:53] children.

[01:00:54] And my

[01:00:54] son,

[01:00:56] because you

[01:00:56] have one

[01:00:56] boy out of

[01:00:57] all these

[01:00:57] girls.

[01:00:59] That's us.

[01:01:00] Yeah.

[01:01:01] He's the

[01:01:01] youngest.

[01:01:02] Okay.

[01:01:02] And so he's

[01:01:03] deaf and

[01:01:04] he's,

[01:01:05] we just

[01:01:05] learned he's

[01:01:06] autistic and

[01:01:08] with ADHD.

[01:01:09] So having

[01:01:10] to navigate

[01:01:11] all of

[01:01:12] that,

[01:01:12] that's what

[01:01:13] I,

[01:01:13] you know,

[01:01:13] because I

[01:01:14] started my

[01:01:14] teaching career

[01:01:15] and then

[01:01:18] went into

[01:01:18] my second

[01:01:19] pregnancy.

[01:01:20] I became a

[01:01:20] stay-at-home mom.

[01:01:22] And then shortly

[01:01:22] after that,

[01:01:22] then I was

[01:01:23] pregnant with the

[01:01:23] twins.

[01:01:24] And so I was

[01:01:24] like,

[01:01:24] okay,

[01:01:25] I just got to

[01:01:25] stay home for a

[01:01:26] minute to get

[01:01:26] myself together.

[01:01:27] And then learning

[01:01:28] that he was

[01:01:29] deaf from birth.

[01:01:30] So it's like,

[01:01:31] okay,

[01:01:31] now I'm thrown

[01:01:32] into this world.

[01:01:32] I have no,

[01:01:34] probably like 10%

[01:01:35] of anything information.

[01:01:36] So I'm trying to

[01:01:37] like learn,

[01:01:38] no time for

[01:01:38] emotions or

[01:01:39] anything.

[01:01:39] So I'm trying

[01:01:40] to make

[01:01:40] decisions because

[01:01:41] it's going to

[01:01:41] help his life.

[01:01:42] And so I jumped

[01:01:43] back into school.

[01:01:45] I jumped out of

[01:01:46] a master's program,

[01:01:47] jumped back into

[01:01:47] another bachelor's

[01:01:48] program to start

[01:01:49] interpreting.

[01:01:50] So that's how I

[01:01:50] got into interpreting.

[01:01:52] And so trying to

[01:01:53] do this on a fast

[01:01:54] pace.

[01:01:54] Then I have

[01:01:55] three other kids

[01:01:56] who you can't

[01:01:57] put all your

[01:01:57] attention on one

[01:01:58] child.

[01:01:58] So you're trying

[01:01:59] to spread it

[01:02:00] around.

[01:02:01] And then out

[01:02:02] of the state,

[01:02:03] away from family

[01:02:04] and friends with

[01:02:06] that divorce,

[01:02:07] and then coming

[01:02:08] back into the

[01:02:09] state,

[01:02:09] trying to learn

[01:02:10] the laws here,

[01:02:11] trying to get

[01:02:11] my son set up,

[01:02:12] trying to do

[01:02:15] everything at

[01:02:15] one time.

[01:02:16] And I'm like,

[01:02:18] where to begin?

[01:02:19] Right.

[01:02:20] Completely

[01:02:20] overwhelmed,

[01:02:21] you know.

[01:02:22] And when I

[01:02:23] tell you,

[01:02:23] like he said,

[01:02:24] that friendship

[01:02:25] meant everything

[01:02:25] to me.

[01:02:26] Oh my gosh.

[01:02:27] And him being

[01:02:28] a safe place

[01:02:28] to land because

[01:02:29] Lord have mercy,

[01:02:30] I was a basket

[01:02:31] case.

[01:02:32] Like, so it

[01:02:32] was, it was,

[01:02:34] but you know

[01:02:34] what though?

[01:02:35] Even though I was

[01:02:35] a basket case,

[01:02:36] because I'm the

[01:02:37] queen of putting

[01:02:37] up a wall,

[01:02:38] you hear me,

[01:02:39] I can detach

[01:02:39] myself so quick.

[01:02:40] Oh my gosh.

[01:02:42] But he never,

[01:02:44] I think because

[01:02:44] the relationship

[01:02:45] that we've already

[01:02:46] had with each

[01:02:47] other and me

[01:02:47] knowing you,

[01:02:48] you, it was

[01:02:50] easy for me to

[01:02:50] be vulnerable

[01:02:51] even in those

[01:02:52] spaces with him

[01:02:53] and trust him

[01:02:54] to like,

[01:02:55] yo, he got it.

[01:02:56] Like I always

[01:02:56] tell him he can

[01:02:57] see a part of me

[01:02:59] that I can't see

[01:02:59] in myself.

[01:03:00] You know what I'm

[01:03:01] saying?

[01:03:01] And that's one

[01:03:02] of the things

[01:03:02] that I love

[01:03:03] about him the

[01:03:03] most because

[01:03:04] I'm like,

[01:03:05] wow, I never

[01:03:06] would have

[01:03:06] thought that

[01:03:06] like you

[01:03:07] always call,

[01:03:07] I can be

[01:03:08] having the

[01:03:08] worst moment

[01:03:10] and he always

[01:03:10] makes me see,

[01:03:11] okay, hold

[01:03:11] up, stand

[01:03:12] back, look

[01:03:12] at the big

[01:03:13] picture.

[01:03:14] And I'm like,

[01:03:14] okay, cool.

[01:03:15] I got it.

[01:03:16] I hear you.

[01:03:17] I see it.

[01:03:18] Gotcha.

[01:03:18] You know what I'm

[01:03:18] saying?

[01:03:19] And it's just been

[01:03:20] such a blessing.

[01:03:21] So, you know,

[01:03:22] like I said,

[01:03:23] he didn't fix

[01:03:23] anything and I

[01:03:24] didn't want him

[01:03:25] to fix anything.

[01:03:27] Like I went

[01:03:28] through all

[01:03:28] these emotions,

[01:03:29] had to feel it

[01:03:29] all, had to do

[01:03:30] it all, but

[01:03:31] being such a

[01:03:32] great space

[01:03:32] and a safe

[01:03:33] place for me

[01:03:34] and my kids

[01:03:35] and my landing

[01:03:37] spot.

[01:03:37] You know what

[01:03:38] I'm saying?

[01:03:38] That has been

[01:03:39] the best thing

[01:03:40] for me.

[01:03:41] And that's

[01:03:41] the thing

[01:03:42] that as a

[01:03:44] man you

[01:03:45] want to

[01:03:47] provide,

[01:03:47] we know

[01:03:48] you're going

[01:03:48] to have a

[01:03:49] hard time.

[01:03:50] He knew

[01:03:51] that that was

[01:03:52] tumultuous

[01:03:52] when he

[01:03:53] knew you

[01:03:53] was going

[01:03:54] through the

[01:03:54] storm.

[01:03:54] He just

[01:03:55] wanted you,

[01:03:56] he knew

[01:03:56] you was

[01:03:56] going to

[01:03:57] hit that

[01:03:57] wall,

[01:03:57] but he

[01:03:57] wanted to

[01:03:58] absorb some

[01:03:59] of that

[01:03:59] hit so

[01:03:59] he got

[01:04:00] in the

[01:04:00] way.

[01:04:00] And that's

[01:04:01] what we

[01:04:01] try to

[01:04:02] do,

[01:04:02] you know,

[01:04:03] on a

[01:04:04] consistent

[01:04:04] basis.

[01:04:05] That's why

[01:04:06] we,

[01:04:06] it's like

[01:04:07] fix.

[01:04:08] But,

[01:04:09] you know,

[01:04:09] having him

[01:04:10] to talk

[01:04:11] to,

[01:04:11] having him

[01:04:12] to let all

[01:04:13] that stuff

[01:04:14] out,

[01:04:14] let all

[01:04:14] that frustration

[01:04:15] out,

[01:04:16] I'm sure

[01:04:16] that that

[01:04:17] helped you

[01:04:17] tremendously

[01:04:18] because

[01:04:19] it's just

[01:04:20] you saying

[01:04:21] it,

[01:04:22] I'm like,

[01:04:22] yeah,

[01:04:22] I thought

[01:04:22] she would

[01:04:23] do all

[01:04:23] of that

[01:04:23] and a

[01:04:24] damn

[01:04:24] divorce

[01:04:26] and this

[01:04:26] nigga don't

[01:04:27] want to

[01:04:27] talk about

[01:04:28] I don't

[01:04:29] want this

[01:04:29] to work

[01:04:29] no more.

[01:04:31] This ain't

[01:04:31] working for

[01:04:32] me.

[01:04:32] Right?

[01:04:33] You gonna

[01:04:33] leave me?

[01:04:34] What?

[01:04:34] What was

[01:04:35] crazy was

[01:04:36] to see her

[01:04:37] do all

[01:04:38] that and

[01:04:38] then got

[01:04:39] to get up

[01:04:39] and stand

[01:04:39] in front

[01:04:40] of a

[01:04:41] few hundred

[01:04:42] people

[01:04:42] and give

[01:04:44] God praise

[01:04:45] and lead

[01:04:46] up in praise

[01:04:47] and worship

[01:04:48] but I just

[01:04:49] got the

[01:04:49] phones and

[01:04:50] you was

[01:04:50] crying

[01:04:52] to finish

[01:04:53] that,

[01:04:54] get back

[01:04:54] in the car

[01:04:54] and cry

[01:04:55] and cry

[01:04:55] and cry

[01:04:56] and cry

[01:04:56] and cry

[01:04:56] and say

[01:05:08] sometimes

[01:05:09] you don't

[01:05:09] need people

[01:05:10] to fix

[01:05:10] it.

[01:05:11] Right.

[01:05:11] Right.

[01:05:12] We just

[01:05:12] need somebody

[01:05:13] to see

[01:05:13] what we

[01:05:14] don't

[01:05:14] see.

[01:05:15] That ear

[01:05:16] you need

[01:05:17] that

[01:05:18] person

[01:05:19] you call

[01:05:19] to say

[01:05:20] look

[01:05:21] this

[01:05:21] is what's

[01:05:21] going on

[01:05:22] and to get

[01:05:24] that extra

[01:05:25] thought

[01:05:26] viewpoint

[01:05:28] and we've

[01:05:29] been there

[01:05:29] for each

[01:05:30] other

[01:05:30] because

[01:05:30] there'll be

[01:05:31] sometimes

[01:05:31] I just

[01:05:32] like man

[01:05:32] I don't

[01:05:33] know what

[01:05:33] to do

[01:05:33] about

[01:05:33] the

[01:05:33] situation

[01:05:34] even if

[01:05:34] it's

[01:05:34] a plan

[01:05:35] and I'll

[01:05:36] talk to

[01:05:37] her

[01:05:37] and be

[01:05:37] like

[01:05:37] but it

[01:05:38] said

[01:05:39] this

[01:05:39] he

[01:05:39] gonna

[01:05:39] do

[01:05:40] that

[01:05:40] what

[01:05:41] you

[01:05:41] think

[01:05:41] about

[01:05:41] this

[01:05:41] because

[01:05:42] I always

[01:05:43] try to

[01:05:43] I don't

[01:05:43] want to

[01:05:44] give

[01:05:44] advice

[01:05:44] that

[01:05:45] ain't

[01:05:45] gonna

[01:05:45] help

[01:05:46] right

[01:05:47] I'm just

[01:05:47] going to

[01:05:47] give you

[01:05:48] the best

[01:05:48] advice

[01:05:48] but you

[01:05:49] know

[01:05:49] you got

[01:05:49] some

[01:06:07] and

[01:06:08] like

[01:06:08] like you

[01:06:09] said

[01:06:09] earlier

[01:06:09] I

[01:06:09] had

[01:06:10] a

[01:06:10] girl

[01:06:10] talk

[01:06:10] and

[01:06:11] I

[01:06:11] told

[01:06:11] her

[01:06:11] one

[01:06:11] day

[01:06:12] I

[01:06:12] said

[01:06:12] you

[01:06:13] really

[01:06:13] like

[01:06:13] your

[01:06:13] husband

[01:06:14] and

[01:06:14] that's

[01:06:15] important

[01:06:15] right

[01:06:16] yeah

[01:06:16] I was like

[01:06:17] you

[01:06:17] I could

[01:06:18] tell you

[01:06:18] like him

[01:06:19] I could

[01:06:19] tell

[01:06:19] because

[01:06:19] when she

[01:06:20] talk about

[01:06:20] you guys

[01:06:21] I was

[01:06:21] like y'all

[01:06:21] are friends

[01:06:22] right

[01:06:22] that is

[01:06:23] important

[01:06:24] it

[01:06:24] it

[01:06:25] bothers

[01:06:26] me

[01:06:26] like

[01:06:26] you know

[01:06:27] you

[01:06:27] you see

[01:06:28] the little

[01:06:28] t-shirts

[01:06:29] with the

[01:06:29] little

[01:06:29] sayings

[01:06:30] about

[01:06:30] my

[01:06:31] wife

[01:06:31] whatever

[01:06:32] yeah

[01:06:32] or

[01:06:33] people

[01:06:37] we have

[01:06:38] our

[01:06:38] ups

[01:06:38] and

[01:06:39] downs

[01:06:39] why

[01:06:40] would

[01:06:40] you

[01:06:41] leave

[01:06:41] with

[01:06:42] that

[01:06:42] yes

[01:06:43] I

[01:06:44] don't

[01:06:44] understand

[01:06:44] I

[01:06:45] don't

[01:06:45] want to

[01:06:45] know

[01:06:45] that

[01:06:46] happy

[01:06:49] anniversary

[01:06:49] you can

[01:06:51] be my

[01:06:52] biggest

[01:06:52] headache

[01:06:52] sometimes

[01:06:53] right

[01:06:53] why

[01:06:54] would

[01:06:54] you

[01:07:08] that

[01:07:10] you

[01:07:11] should

[01:07:31] like

[01:07:32] over

[01:07:33] love

[01:07:34] because

[01:07:34] like

[01:07:34] you

[01:07:35] have

[01:07:35] to

[01:07:35] like

[01:07:35] that

[01:07:35] person

[01:07:36] that

[01:07:36] you

[01:07:37] what

[01:07:37] I'm

[01:07:37] saying

[01:07:38] you

[01:07:38] love

[01:07:39] people

[01:07:39] y'all wanna see them everyday

[01:07:43] but like is what

[01:07:45] makes it easy

[01:07:47] to day by day

[01:07:48] and when things come at you

[01:07:51] when the bad stuff, the negative stuff

[01:07:53] and I know with men

[01:07:55] y'all are fixers

[01:07:57] y'all are holding things in

[01:07:58] so for you to have somewhere

[01:08:00] to be comfortable enough

[01:08:02] to be vulnerable

[01:08:03] and to let the walls down

[01:08:05] that takes somebody that you like

[01:08:08] and that you know

[01:08:09] you don't have to worry about that person

[01:08:11] holding it against you

[01:08:12] and bringing them

[01:08:13] well you know

[01:08:14] you know that you

[01:08:15] you don't do well with

[01:08:17] you don't need somebody

[01:08:18] to bring those things up

[01:08:19] you need someone who you

[01:08:20] you trust and feel comfortable with

[01:08:22] so

[01:08:23] that's one thing that

[01:08:25] um

[01:08:25] you're okay

[01:08:27] you're okay

[01:08:29] I believe that

[01:08:30] he's okay

[01:08:32] he's okay

[01:08:32] yeah this ain't for the cameras

[01:08:33] I can tell you

[01:08:34] for real

[01:08:36] I was like

[01:08:37] I told her I said

[01:08:37] you like your husband

[01:08:38] and I like that

[01:08:39] I like how let

[01:08:40] when I meet people

[01:08:42] who are married

[01:08:42] they're like

[01:08:43] you genuinely like your spouse

[01:08:44] it was hard for me

[01:08:46] because I work in a paper mill

[01:08:47] I work at you know

[01:08:48] and

[01:08:49] I just hear guys

[01:08:50] complain about

[01:08:51] some of the silliest stuff

[01:08:53] and I'm like

[01:08:53] dude

[01:08:54] oh she did

[01:08:55] oh she

[01:08:56] man

[01:08:57] she gonna meet her

[01:08:58] get off work

[01:08:59] out of work 12 hours

[01:09:00] stop by the store

[01:09:01] I'm tired

[01:09:01] damn stone

[01:09:04] I mean

[01:09:05] that's in my mind

[01:09:06] because if you wouldn't marry

[01:09:07] you need to go by

[01:09:08] so what you gonna do

[01:09:08] you gonna stop

[01:09:09] so I'm just gonna

[01:09:09] anyway

[01:09:10] she'll tell you

[01:09:11] I'm gonna text her

[01:09:11] when I leave work

[01:09:12] what you need

[01:09:13] right

[01:09:13] we do that

[01:09:14] we do that

[01:09:15] I mean

[01:09:17] it's refreshing to

[01:09:18] like

[01:09:19] I know for us

[01:09:20] we had couples

[01:09:21] that we

[01:09:23] had

[01:09:23] um

[01:09:25] we just connected with

[01:09:26] and they were

[01:09:27] our guy

[01:09:28] they had been married

[01:09:28] for longer

[01:09:29] you know

[01:09:30] somebody to talk to

[01:09:31] to say

[01:09:31] hey man

[01:09:32] boy she got on my nerves

[01:09:33] and that person

[01:09:35] that's gonna say

[01:09:35] alright

[01:09:36] but you was wrong

[01:09:37] on that bro

[01:09:37] you know what I'm saying

[01:09:38] right

[01:09:39] it helped us to have that

[01:09:40] you know what I'm saying

[01:09:41] it is just refreshing

[01:09:42] to see

[01:09:43] because you know

[01:09:44] if you go by social media

[01:09:47] ain't nobody together

[01:09:48] no more

[01:09:49] uh

[01:09:49] black people don't stay together

[01:09:50] black couples

[01:09:51] are not functioning

[01:09:52] black couples don't exist

[01:09:54] exactly

[01:09:54] you know what I'm saying

[01:09:55] and it's just

[01:09:56] you know

[01:09:56] and I'm like

[01:09:57] that's the foundation

[01:09:58] of this podcast

[01:09:59] I'm like

[01:09:59] that's not true

[01:10:00] right

[01:10:01] I see black people

[01:10:02] all the time

[01:10:03] that been together

[01:10:04] for years

[01:10:05] and been happy

[01:10:05] and been functioning

[01:10:06] you know what I'm saying

[01:10:07] and so that's just

[01:10:09] you know

[01:10:09] and it helps to

[01:10:10] have those connections

[01:10:12] so

[01:10:12] we offer that

[01:10:14] to you guys

[01:10:15] oh thank you

[01:10:16] not just here

[01:10:17] for the podcast

[01:10:18] but you know

[01:10:20] call us and be like

[01:10:21] look

[01:10:21] he's okay

[01:10:22] he looks like it

[01:10:23] I like him

[01:10:24] I like him

[01:10:25] cause there's always

[01:10:26] that

[01:10:27] negro or negress

[01:10:28] getting on my nerves

[01:10:29] you know what I'm saying

[01:10:31] you might not know

[01:10:32] how the hell to have

[01:10:33] you know

[01:10:33] look

[01:10:34] okay

[01:10:34] come talk to me

[01:10:36] let's talk about this thing

[01:10:38] I appreciate that

[01:10:40] I appreciate that

[01:10:40] cause you know

[01:10:41] you need that

[01:10:43] man

[01:10:43] you do

[01:10:44] you really need that

[01:10:44] and um

[01:10:46] you know

[01:10:47] one thing

[01:10:47] I told her

[01:10:49] um

[01:10:49] I guess

[01:10:50] can be kind of like

[01:10:51] a sour moment

[01:10:53] in my life

[01:10:54] was uh

[01:10:55] I always tell her

[01:10:56] man I envy how

[01:10:57] like

[01:10:58] when you were going

[01:10:59] through your divorce

[01:11:00] you still had someone

[01:11:01] to talk to

[01:11:02] you know

[01:11:03] someone that was still

[01:11:04] able to just talk to you

[01:11:05] and just tell you

[01:11:06] this gonna be okay

[01:11:07] I know it sucked right now

[01:11:08] this is what gonna

[01:11:09] probably happen next

[01:11:10] this gonna probably take one

[01:11:11] but you gonna make it through

[01:11:12] because

[01:11:13] sometimes

[01:11:14] people look at you

[01:11:15] and just assume

[01:11:17] that

[01:11:18] because you look like

[01:11:19] you alright

[01:11:20] right

[01:11:21] that you was alright

[01:11:22] but they don't know

[01:11:24] what you had

[01:11:24] to fix your face of

[01:11:26] to come and deal with

[01:11:28] the other things of life

[01:11:29] so

[01:11:30] you know

[01:11:31] I appreciate that

[01:11:32] olive branch man

[01:11:32] because you know

[01:11:34] I don't need it right now

[01:11:36] but man

[01:11:37] when I say

[01:11:38] thank God

[01:11:38] that it's there

[01:11:39] you know

[01:11:40] you need that

[01:11:42] like everybody

[01:11:42] and sometimes

[01:11:43] just you know

[01:11:44] it helps to have

[01:11:45] somebody just listen to

[01:11:46] you know

[01:11:47] a brother

[01:11:47] that's just like

[01:11:48] yeah okay

[01:11:48] alright

[01:11:49] alright

[01:11:50] what time you going home

[01:11:51] you know what I'm saying

[01:11:52] but you know what

[01:11:53] it helps too

[01:11:54] you know

[01:11:54] instead of somebody

[01:11:54] saying man

[01:11:55] come on out here

[01:11:55] with me

[01:11:56] right

[01:11:58] exactly

[01:11:58] exactly

[01:11:59] exactly

[01:12:01] it helps too

[01:12:03] in

[01:12:03] in positive moments

[01:12:05] because like I said

[01:12:07] you know

[01:12:07] there's a balance

[01:12:09] between

[01:12:09] talking about him

[01:12:11] to people

[01:12:12] and then

[01:12:13] not saying too much

[01:12:14] because then people

[01:12:15] like

[01:12:15] you lying

[01:12:16] you lying

[01:12:18] there has to be

[01:12:18] something wrong

[01:12:19] but if he hated

[01:12:20] real fast

[01:12:20] real fast

[01:12:22] and so to have

[01:12:22] people that you

[01:12:23] can be comfortable

[01:12:24] around

[01:12:25] and talk about

[01:12:26] the good stuff

[01:12:27] without feeling like

[01:12:29] somebody is

[01:12:30] questioning it

[01:12:31] or whatnot

[01:12:33] so that's

[01:12:34] another component

[01:12:36] sometimes you have to

[01:12:37] pull back

[01:12:38] around certain people

[01:12:39] because you know

[01:12:39] that their stuff

[01:12:41] is a mess

[01:12:41] you don't even want

[01:12:42] to tell them

[01:12:43] all the good stuff

[01:12:44] because you be like

[01:12:44] we struggle right now

[01:12:46] we struggle right now

[01:12:47] we're just talking

[01:12:48] to people

[01:12:48] about things

[01:12:49] yeah

[01:12:50] we are very similar

[01:12:52] in that

[01:12:52] when it comes to

[01:12:53] our business

[01:12:54] is our business

[01:12:54] we mean that

[01:12:55] we really mean that

[01:12:57] really

[01:12:58] and that's

[01:12:59] that was one thing

[01:13:01] too with us

[01:13:01] we were so young

[01:13:03] that we did need

[01:13:04] guidance

[01:13:05] and we needed

[01:13:06] that mentorship

[01:13:07] but at the same time

[01:13:09] okay now

[01:13:10] this is what

[01:13:11] he said to you

[01:13:13] this is what

[01:13:13] she said to me

[01:13:14] now what are we

[01:13:15] going to do

[01:13:15] about it together

[01:13:16] because we're young

[01:13:17] we need guidance

[01:13:19] but we're still

[01:13:20] adults

[01:13:20] and we have to

[01:13:21] make the decisions

[01:13:22] and do what works

[01:13:23] for us

[01:13:24] for our marriage

[01:13:25] right

[01:13:25] and that was

[01:13:26] something I think

[01:13:27] that we struggled

[01:13:28] with in the beginning

[01:13:29] and we had to learn

[01:13:31] and we had to get

[01:13:32] comfortable

[01:13:32] making those decisions

[01:13:34] ourselves

[01:13:35] and dealing

[01:13:36] with the consequence

[01:13:36] because sometimes

[01:13:37] people was right

[01:13:39] and we probably

[01:13:40] should have listened

[01:13:41] to them

[01:13:42] but we was wrong

[01:13:44] so we did

[01:13:44] what we was

[01:13:45] going to do

[01:13:45] and we had to

[01:13:46] deal with those

[01:13:47] consequences

[01:13:47] because sometimes

[01:13:48] those same people

[01:13:49] come back and say

[01:13:50] I told you so

[01:13:51] right

[01:13:52] and so you have

[01:13:53] to learn how

[01:13:54] to deal with that

[01:13:55] too

[01:13:55] and also too

[01:13:56] when the good

[01:13:56] stuff happens

[01:13:57] like you know

[01:13:58] if you call

[01:13:59] you know you got

[01:13:59] some people in your

[01:14:00] life you'd be like

[01:14:01] girl we just put

[01:14:02] down such and such

[01:14:04] we get ready

[01:14:05] to get a house

[01:14:08] let's be nice

[01:14:09] you know what I'm saying

[01:14:10] you can have those

[01:14:10] people

[01:14:11] you can have those

[01:14:13] you know what I'm

[01:14:14] saying

[01:14:14] you know what I'm

[01:14:15] you want to call

[01:14:16] somebody

[01:14:17] y'all get in the

[01:14:18] house

[01:14:18] well check this

[01:14:19] out

[01:14:19] go to such and

[01:14:20] such

[01:14:20] you know what I'm

[01:14:21] saying

[01:14:21] you want to have

[01:14:22] a conversation

[01:14:22] right

[01:14:23] you do

[01:14:23] you do

[01:14:24] like for real

[01:14:25] because

[01:14:26] I'm going to

[01:14:26] learn how to do

[01:14:27] that

[01:14:27] what

[01:14:28] because she'd be

[01:14:30] like you don't

[01:14:30] say nothing

[01:14:31] by nothing

[01:14:31] nothing

[01:14:32] I mean

[01:14:33] I am so

[01:14:34] even kidding

[01:14:35] if we were

[01:14:35] buying a house

[01:14:36] no reason why

[01:14:37] everybody knew

[01:14:38] about it

[01:14:38] because she might

[01:14:40] have said

[01:14:40] something to my

[01:14:41] friend

[01:14:42] I don't say

[01:14:44] nothing

[01:14:44] by

[01:14:45] yeah

[01:14:46] because of

[01:14:47] everything you

[01:14:47] just said

[01:14:47] yeah

[01:14:48] yeah

[01:14:48] that's right

[01:14:49] wise

[01:14:49] because like

[01:14:50] the last few

[01:14:51] moves we've

[01:14:52] made

[01:14:52] like

[01:14:53] I didn't tell

[01:14:56] them nothing

[01:14:58] rules going

[01:14:58] on because

[01:15:00] the one thing

[01:15:00] I hate to do

[01:15:01] is say something

[01:15:01] and then

[01:15:02] it fall through

[01:15:03] and then

[01:15:03] you got to

[01:15:04] hear all

[01:15:04] yep

[01:15:06] how's the

[01:15:06] house going

[01:15:07] on

[01:15:07] yep

[01:15:08] I really tell

[01:15:09] you yeah

[01:15:09] we moved

[01:15:10] right

[01:15:11] you know what

[01:15:12] I'm saying

[01:15:12] we still got

[01:15:12] people right

[01:15:13] now mad at

[01:15:13] me because

[01:15:14] they didn't

[01:15:14] know we

[01:15:15] we're getting

[01:15:15] married

[01:15:15] yeah

[01:15:16] right now

[01:15:17] they are

[01:15:17] still mad

[01:15:18] still hot

[01:15:19] I had a

[01:15:19] whole wedding

[01:15:20] and nobody

[01:15:21] knew about it

[01:15:22] you know what

[01:15:23] yo he's not

[01:15:25] lying

[01:15:25] balance

[01:15:26] with a straight

[01:15:27] balance

[01:15:27] you gotta have

[01:15:28] balance

[01:15:28] you gotta have

[01:15:31] a little bit of

[01:15:31] balance

[01:15:31] oh I need to

[01:15:32] work on that

[01:15:32] yes

[01:15:33] a little bit of

[01:15:34] balance

[01:15:34] so let me just

[01:15:35] tell the couple

[01:15:36] when he started

[01:15:37] telling people

[01:15:37] that we were

[01:15:38] getting married

[01:15:39] it was like

[01:15:40] two weeks

[01:15:41] before the wedding

[01:15:42] and I'm like

[01:15:43] he was like

[01:15:43] oh can you

[01:15:45] send this person

[01:15:46] an invitation

[01:15:46] I was like

[01:15:47] do you know

[01:15:48] it's in two weeks

[01:15:49] so what if they

[01:15:49] got something

[01:15:50] planned

[01:15:50] I feel you

[01:15:53] on that

[01:15:53] because it's

[01:15:54] like

[01:15:54] you got life

[01:15:55] going on

[01:15:57] but everybody

[01:15:58] ain't that

[01:15:58] interested

[01:15:59] yeah

[01:15:59] that's the

[01:16:00] thing

[01:16:00] my thing

[01:16:01] was I'm

[01:16:02] trying to

[01:16:02] protect me

[01:16:03] I'm trying

[01:16:03] to protect

[01:16:03] us

[01:16:03] and if

[01:16:05] you come

[01:16:06] now I

[01:16:07] don't do

[01:16:07] this much

[01:16:08] but if you

[01:16:08] come again

[01:16:10] you're gonna

[01:16:10] be respectful

[01:16:11] and you're gonna

[01:16:12] be the loving

[01:16:13] part of

[01:16:13] if you

[01:16:14] come in

[01:16:15] here with

[01:16:15] anything

[01:16:16] that's

[01:16:17] different

[01:16:17] oh there's

[01:16:19] another side

[01:16:20] of me

[01:16:20] that's right

[01:16:21] that's right

[01:16:21] because see

[01:16:22] now

[01:16:24] I'm that

[01:16:25] old school

[01:16:25] Taurus

[01:16:26] now

[01:16:26] you in

[01:16:27] here

[01:16:27] we in

[01:16:27] here

[01:16:28] yeah

[01:16:28] yeah

[01:16:28] and I

[01:16:29] ain't gonna

[01:16:29] let nothing

[01:16:30] help

[01:16:30] bother you

[01:16:30] I promise

[01:16:31] you that

[01:16:31] but now

[01:16:32] if you

[01:16:33] come in

[01:16:33] here

[01:16:33] just to be

[01:16:34] a snake

[01:16:35] yeah

[01:16:36] oh you're

[01:16:37] gonna hate

[01:16:37] you came

[01:16:37] out

[01:16:37] yeah

[01:16:38] I'm gonna

[01:16:38] bite you

[01:16:38] like that

[01:16:39] hippo

[01:16:39] do

[01:16:39] them

[01:16:39] alligators

[01:16:40] it's coming

[01:16:41] out

[01:16:41] I'm talking

[01:16:41] about it's

[01:16:42] coming

[01:16:42] you're

[01:16:42] coming out

[01:16:42] with some

[01:16:43] wings

[01:16:43] yeah

[01:16:44] because see

[01:16:45] what you

[01:16:45] showed me

[01:16:46] was

[01:16:47] that

[01:16:48] you

[01:16:49] intended

[01:16:50] on coming

[01:16:50] here

[01:16:51] to

[01:16:52] interrupt

[01:16:53] what we're

[01:16:54] trying to

[01:16:54] build

[01:16:55] so

[01:16:56] if you're

[01:16:57] gonna be

[01:16:57] that kind

[01:16:58] of person

[01:16:58] you

[01:16:59] gotta be

[01:17:00] willing to

[01:17:01] deal with

[01:17:01] what I'm

[01:17:01] gonna do

[01:17:02] cause

[01:17:02] you did

[01:17:03] that

[01:17:03] so

[01:17:03] the best

[01:17:04] way

[01:17:05] to avoid

[01:17:06] that was

[01:17:07] I was just

[01:17:08] like you know

[01:17:08] what I don't

[01:17:09] even know

[01:17:09] if they are

[01:17:10] like that

[01:17:11] but the

[01:17:12] ones that

[01:17:12] you were

[01:17:13] sure about

[01:17:13] you put

[01:17:14] them on

[01:17:15] the list

[01:17:15] and I'll

[01:17:17] give you a few

[01:17:17] names here

[01:17:18] and there

[01:17:18] cause for a

[01:17:19] minute

[01:17:19] I couldn't

[01:17:20] really think

[01:17:20] of hauling

[01:17:20] nobody

[01:17:21] we was

[01:17:21] gonna keep

[01:17:21] it small

[01:17:22] right

[01:17:22] we wanted

[01:17:23] it small

[01:17:24] we said

[01:17:24] 50 people

[01:17:25] we really

[01:17:25] wanted

[01:17:25] it small

[01:17:26] I said

[01:17:26] we're

[01:17:27] your

[01:17:27] people

[01:17:27] he's

[01:17:28] out

[01:17:28] three

[01:17:29] I wasn't

[01:17:30] lying

[01:17:30] see this

[01:17:31] is that

[01:17:31] literal

[01:17:32] part

[01:17:32] he held

[01:17:33] I was

[01:17:34] like

[01:17:34] you gotta

[01:17:36] get some

[01:17:36] people

[01:17:36] like what

[01:17:37] are you

[01:17:37] doing

[01:17:38] because

[01:17:39] it's people

[01:17:40] that

[01:17:42] as a man

[01:17:43] it's people

[01:17:44] that

[01:17:44] fool

[01:17:44] with

[01:17:45] and I'm

[01:17:46] sure you

[01:17:46] know

[01:17:47] you know

[01:17:47] you got

[01:17:48] some brothers

[01:17:49] that you

[01:17:49] know

[01:17:49] just talking

[01:17:50] to him

[01:17:52] he can't

[01:17:52] come to the

[01:17:53] house

[01:17:55] because he

[01:17:56] gonna be

[01:17:56] looking at

[01:17:57] my wife

[01:17:57] behind

[01:17:58] and I'm

[01:17:59] gonna catch

[01:17:59] him

[01:18:00] I'm gonna

[01:18:00] have to

[01:18:01] hurt

[01:18:02] so let

[01:18:02] me keep

[01:18:03] this brother

[01:18:03] away

[01:18:06] we cool

[01:18:08] out there

[01:18:08] you can't

[01:18:09] come here

[01:18:11] that's

[01:18:11] reality

[01:18:12] how many

[01:18:13] people

[01:18:13] know

[01:18:13] we

[01:18:14] live

[01:18:15] two

[01:18:16] because

[01:18:16] they

[01:18:16] helped

[01:18:16] us

[01:18:17] move

[01:18:17] in

[01:18:17] when she

[01:18:18] found out

[01:18:20] where I

[01:18:20] found out

[01:18:21] she said

[01:18:22] wow this is

[01:18:22] really tough

[01:18:22] I said yeah

[01:18:24] you really

[01:18:24] don't want

[01:18:24] people

[01:18:25] to know

[01:18:25] I said yeah

[01:18:25] but it's so funny

[01:18:26] but it's

[01:18:27] don't bother me

[01:18:28] because

[01:18:29] I'm a people

[01:18:29] person

[01:18:30] but when I'm

[01:18:30] home

[01:18:31] I like my

[01:18:32] space

[01:18:33] if I'm

[01:18:33] going to

[01:18:34] entertain

[01:18:34] I gotta

[01:18:34] think about

[01:18:35] it

[01:18:35] I gotta

[01:18:36] put it

[01:18:36] in

[01:18:36] process

[01:18:37] and

[01:18:38] I'm

[01:18:38] the people

[01:18:39] person

[01:18:41] but when

[01:18:42] I'm at

[01:18:42] the crib

[01:18:43] that's the

[01:18:44] crib

[01:18:44] I don't want

[01:18:45] one or two

[01:18:45] people around

[01:18:46] absolutely

[01:18:47] right

[01:18:48] but I'll

[01:18:49] go with the

[01:18:50] flow

[01:18:50] I'll go

[01:18:51] with the

[01:18:51] flow

[01:18:51] if we

[01:18:52] gonna have

[01:18:53] a party

[01:18:53] let's have

[01:18:54] a party

[01:18:54] but if

[01:18:55] we gonna

[01:18:55] have a

[01:18:56] party

[01:18:56] I had to

[01:18:56] think

[01:18:58] I would

[01:18:58] much rather

[01:18:59] have an

[01:18:59] intimate

[01:19:00] gathering

[01:19:00] like this

[01:19:01] there's

[01:19:01] two couples

[01:19:02] and we

[01:19:03] just talking

[01:19:03] and we

[01:19:04] have 15

[01:19:05] people there

[01:19:05] and I

[01:19:06] gotta go

[01:19:06] here

[01:19:07] I gotta

[01:19:07] talk to

[01:19:07] these

[01:19:07] people

[01:19:08] gotta

[01:19:08] go

[01:19:08] talk

[01:19:08] to

[01:19:08] these

[01:19:08] people

[01:19:09] right

[01:19:09] that's

[01:19:10] me

[01:19:11] that's

[01:19:11] me

[01:19:12] sometimes

[01:19:14] you know

[01:19:15] every now

[01:19:15] and then

[01:19:16] you have

[01:19:16] to put

[01:19:16] a face

[01:19:17] on

[01:19:17] sometimes

[01:19:19] he's

[01:19:20] so

[01:19:21] friendly

[01:19:21] and

[01:19:23] people

[01:19:23] you gotta

[01:19:24] be

[01:19:24] not

[01:19:25] people

[01:19:25] you know

[01:19:25] what

[01:19:26] she

[01:19:27] miss me

[01:19:27] to be

[01:19:27] talking

[01:19:28] about

[01:19:28] you

[01:19:29] happy

[01:19:29] little

[01:19:30] lucky

[01:19:30] behind

[01:19:31] always

[01:19:32] smiling

[01:19:32] when she

[01:19:33] told me

[01:19:34] she was

[01:19:34] an introvert

[01:19:35] I did not

[01:19:36] believe it

[01:19:36] she for

[01:19:37] real

[01:19:38] she is

[01:19:38] so for

[01:19:39] real

[01:19:39] I said

[01:19:40] who

[01:19:41] how in

[01:19:41] the world

[01:19:42] I

[01:19:42] laugh

[01:19:44] she is

[01:19:44] a real

[01:19:45] introvert

[01:19:45] simple fact

[01:19:46] that because

[01:19:46] I know

[01:19:46] when she

[01:19:47] was telling

[01:19:47] me about

[01:19:47] y'all

[01:19:48] she was

[01:19:48] like

[01:19:50] we're

[01:19:50] gonna

[01:19:50] have

[01:19:50] them

[01:19:51] they

[01:19:51] just

[01:19:51] got

[01:19:51] married

[01:19:52] they're

[01:19:52] do

[01:19:52] a

[01:19:52] podcast

[01:19:53] I'm

[01:19:53] excited

[01:19:54] the fact

[01:19:55] that she

[01:19:55] wanted

[01:19:56] to do

[01:19:56] a

[01:19:56] podcast

[01:19:57] I was

[01:19:57] like

[01:19:58] yeah

[01:19:59] he came

[01:20:00] to me

[01:20:01] and said

[01:20:01] something

[01:20:01] about it

[01:20:03] and

[01:20:03] he was

[01:20:04] shocked

[01:20:05] when I

[01:20:05] agreed

[01:20:05] to it

[01:20:06] so

[01:20:06] when I

[01:20:06] came

[01:20:07] and I

[01:20:07] was

[01:20:07] talking

[01:20:07] about

[01:20:08] you

[01:20:08] he

[01:20:09] was

[01:20:09] like

[01:20:09] oh

[01:20:09] okay

[01:20:10] yeah

[01:20:10] yeah

[01:20:11] but you

[01:20:12] know

[01:20:12] you

[01:20:32] she's

[01:20:32] gonna

[01:20:32] tell

[01:20:33] you

[01:20:33] now

[01:20:33] there

[01:20:34] ain't

[01:20:34] many

[01:20:34] people

[01:20:35] that

[01:20:35] have

[01:20:35] been

[01:20:35] in

[01:20:36] our

[01:20:36] circle

[01:20:36] when

[01:20:37] they

[01:20:37] do

[01:20:37] come

[01:20:37] in

[01:20:38] now

[01:20:38] you

[01:20:39] might

[01:20:39] have

[01:20:39] a

[01:20:39] problem

[01:20:39] with

[01:20:39] this

[01:20:40] so

[01:20:40] don't be

[01:20:41] asking

[01:20:41] how my boy

[01:20:42] Harrison

[01:20:42] doing

[01:20:42] doesn't mean

[01:20:43] anything

[01:20:45] he's

[01:20:46] peoplely

[01:20:48] I appreciate

[01:20:49] it

[01:20:50] we appreciate

[01:20:53] that

[01:20:54] my

[01:21:02] situation

[01:21:03] I

[01:21:04] would

[01:21:04] wear

[01:21:04] it

[01:21:05] for

[01:21:05] you

[01:21:05] not

[01:21:06] out

[01:21:06] the

[01:21:06] house

[01:21:08] not

[01:21:08] outside

[01:21:10] not

[01:21:14] outside

[01:21:15] well

[01:21:21] we

[01:21:22] have

[01:21:22] had

[01:21:23] a

[01:21:23] wonderful

[01:21:23] wonderful

[01:21:24] conversation

[01:21:25] we're

[01:21:29] gonna

[01:21:29] have

[01:21:29] some

[01:21:29] more

[01:21:29] conversation

[01:21:30] later

[01:21:31] on

[01:21:31] and

[01:21:32] probably

[01:21:33] invite

[01:21:35] six

[01:21:36] months

[01:21:36] to

[01:21:36] a

[01:21:37] year

[01:21:37] that

[01:21:37] would

[01:21:38] be

[01:21:38] cool

[01:21:39] see

[01:21:40] if

[01:21:40] y'all

[01:21:40] still

[01:21:40] smiling

[01:21:42] I

[01:21:43] like

[01:21:43] him

[01:21:43] I

[01:21:45] you

[01:21:46] I

[01:21:46] absolutely

[01:21:46] believe

[01:21:47] you

[01:21:47] because

[01:21:47] you

[01:21:48] have

[01:21:48] been

[01:21:48] smiling

[01:21:49] every

[01:21:49] time

[01:21:49] he

[01:22:04] thank

[01:22:05] you

[01:22:05] for

[01:22:05] joining

[01:22:05] us

[01:22:05] and

[01:22:06] until

[01:22:06] next

[01:22:06] time

[01:22:07] we

[01:22:08] will

[01:22:08] holler

[01:22:08] at

[01:22:09] y'all

[01:22:09] thanks

[01:22:18] for

[01:22:18] joining

[01:22:18] us

[01:22:19] on

[01:22:19] this

[01:22:19] episode

[01:22:20] of

[01:22:20] the

[01:22:20] beyond

[01:22:20] I

[01:22:20] do

[01:22:21] podcast

[01:22:22] please

[01:22:22] make

[01:22:23] sure

[01:22:23] to like

[01:22:24] this

[01:22:24] episode

[01:22:24] and

[01:22:25] also

[01:22:25] subscribe

[01:22:26] to

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