Surviving Domestic Abuse - A Son's Story with Darion Morris P.1

[00:00:02] Do you and your partner want to learn simple ways to grow closer? Do you and your partner want to grow happier together? Do you and your partner want to be a unified front? Do you and your partner want to divorce proof your marriage? If you answer yes to these questions, you need to check out our book, A Locker Forever, 10 Keys to a Successful Marriage Beyond I Do. Each section focuses on a different aspect of marriage and briefly describes how we handled it in our relationship.

[00:00:31] At the end of the section, you're given an action step or key to complete with your partner.

[00:00:36] These keys are practical steps you can immediately implement in your relationship and help you or your partner be proactive and intentional about your relationship.

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[00:00:49] And until next time, we will holler at y'all.

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[00:01:30] We are not marriage counselors nor are we mental health professionals.

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[00:01:44] Now, on with the show.

[00:01:49] Trigger warning.

[00:01:51] This episode contains a detailed and vivid description of a domestic violence occurrence.

[00:01:57] Listener discretion is advised, especially for those who may find such content distressing or triggering.

[00:02:04] Please prioritize your mental health and well-being while listening.

[00:02:08] If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, please seek help from a trusted source or contact local authorities.

[00:02:21] We'd like to welcome you back to the Beyond I Do podcast.

[00:02:24] We have a special guest here by the name of brother Darion Morris.

[00:02:30] Darion comes to us as an entrepreneur, father of twin boys.

[00:02:35] He's a domestic violence survivor, mental health advocate.

[00:02:40] He's a personal chef, specializes in Italian food, desserts, international cuisine.

[00:02:47] Thank you for joining us.

[00:02:48] I don't want to let everybody know everything about me, but the personal chef part is very interesting to me because I love food and I love to eat.

[00:03:01] Yes, sir.

[00:03:01] But we're not going to stay in that spot.

[00:03:03] We'll get to that spot later because you are a personal chef by trade, an entrepreneur, and we want to know about the business end.

[00:03:11] We won't spend too much time talking about the delicious foods.

[00:03:15] Yes, sir.

[00:03:17] Okay.

[00:03:18] So this year, our goal was to bring on guests to talk to us about different aspects of life, being the best individual you can be.

[00:03:29] And when we reached out for guests, you filled out the form we met and we talked about your survival story.

[00:03:37] And that was a subject that's close to us.

[00:03:43] And so we just want to know a little bit about you and about your story and how you got to this point.

[00:03:51] Hello, everyone.

[00:03:52] Thank you guys for having me on the podcast.

[00:03:54] Appreciate that.

[00:03:56] So, yeah, I'm Darion Morris.

[00:03:57] Again, I'm a founder of the Creative Dominion podcast.

[00:04:00] I'm highlighting domestic violence survivors as well as mental health.

[00:04:03] I'm 27 years of age, a single father of twin boys, age six.

[00:04:08] They're in kindergarten currently.

[00:04:10] They'll be in first grade this coming fall.

[00:04:13] And so I'm actually born and raised in Lexington, Kentucky.

[00:04:17] Currently residing in the Indianapolis area for about the past 13 years.

[00:04:21] Just me and mom and stepdad and my got a little sister that just graduated college last year at Purdue Fort Wayne.

[00:04:29] So she was able to get a job in her field.

[00:04:32] So she studied psychology.

[00:04:34] She actually works for the school, one of the high schools up in Fort Wayne, Indiana.

[00:04:40] And so a little bit about my story.

[00:04:42] And so I grew up in a two-parent household.

[00:04:45] Parents were married 14 plus years.

[00:04:47] So ever since I was born, they were married.

[00:04:49] It was just me and my little sister, Jasmine.

[00:04:51] She had graduated.

[00:04:52] That's the one that graduated from Fort Wayne.

[00:04:54] Again, she's three years younger than me.

[00:04:56] So she's 24.

[00:04:57] I'm 27.

[00:04:58] And so I grew up in the home of one of the, like I said, domestic violence survivors near and dear to my heart.

[00:05:06] Because me and my mom are survivors.

[00:05:08] So I get into a little bit of my backstory.

[00:05:11] But first, I'll kind of start from my early childhood.

[00:05:14] And so growing up, I was always the big kid.

[00:05:18] I did play sports, but I was always the Husky Bill kid.

[00:05:21] And so growing up just from my father's side, my mom was always a very loving woman.

[00:05:29] I did grow up Pentecostal.

[00:05:31] I grew up in church.

[00:05:32] And so both sides of the family grew up Pentecostal.

[00:05:36] So my mom, she was, again, she was that like angel.

[00:05:39] And like my dad kind of played that devil's advocate role.

[00:05:42] And so growing up, my father was always hard on me.

[00:05:47] I'd speak on a lot of verbal abuse and things of that nature.

[00:05:51] Growing up, just as a kid, I was always taught that if you didn't do things perfect, that then you just, you know, you were less than.

[00:06:01] And so my mentality, you know, as an early childhood was that, you know, if I don't take out the trash or if I don't come home with good grades, you know, I was going to get back then.

[00:06:12] We got whoopings, you know, with the belt.

[00:06:14] So I was always, hey, if I brought a seat home, it'd be a whooping.

[00:06:18] If I, you know, broke something in the house playing football or throwing things, you know, it would be a whooping.

[00:06:24] If I took a snack cake out of the drawer and wasn't supposed to at night, you know, it'd be a whooping in the morning.

[00:06:30] And so I just grew up with that, like, scared to fail mentality.

[00:06:34] And I think it severely affects you as you get into early adulthood.

[00:06:40] And so early on, my mom was actually over 400 pounds in my early childhood.

[00:06:47] And so I just remember, you know, just the snark comments like, you know, you fatty and, you know, just different comments that my dad would make to her when I was around four or five years old.

[00:06:59] My first domestic violence situation I witnessed as a kid, I remember I was four years old in kindergarten.

[00:07:05] It was like a Friday night just after school.

[00:07:08] I remember going in the kitchen to get some cookies.

[00:07:11] And I remember my dad poured a whole gallon of water down my mom's back and punching her in the back.

[00:07:17] Oh, yeah.

[00:07:18] And I was about four years old then.

[00:07:19] Again, my sister was only like one.

[00:07:21] So, you know, she was still like a newborn baby asleep at the time, luckily.

[00:07:25] I'm in the crib sleep.

[00:07:27] And I just remember, it used to be an old pizza place in Lexington, Kentucky called Sir Pizza.

[00:07:33] And all I remember from that time after he had hit her, I just remember her calling the police.

[00:07:37] And then the police escorting him out with, he had that Sir Pizza box in his hand.

[00:07:42] And so that was my first real experience with the domestic violence.

[00:07:47] I grew up in church.

[00:07:48] He was actually the church drummer.

[00:07:50] My cousin was the pastor.

[00:07:51] His mother, my grandmother.

[00:07:53] He was back in church also.

[00:07:55] Okay.

[00:07:56] Correct.

[00:07:56] Okay.

[00:07:57] Correct.

[00:07:57] Yeah, he was actually the, actually still is the drummer.

[00:08:01] After this, once he did get out of incarceration, he did go back to the church.

[00:08:06] So he is currently a church drummer at the same church.

[00:08:10] But grew up with no drugs or alcohol in the home.

[00:08:13] And so I always like to mention that because some people ask, you know, with domestic violence,

[00:08:18] hey, was he an alcoholic?

[00:08:19] Was he, you know, on drugs?

[00:08:21] And so I actually never, I didn't even see my first, like, bottle of beer until I was, like, 14, like, at my grandparents' house.

[00:08:31] Because my grandparents had, like, a full bar in their basement.

[00:08:34] So that was my first time even seeing alcohol.

[00:08:36] Again, never even seen any, you know, cigarettes at all or any tobacco, even in the home.

[00:08:42] And so from that, like I said, grew up in church.

[00:08:47] So went through a normal childhood.

[00:08:49] Early on, you know, my parents didn't really have a lot of money.

[00:08:52] I remember us, at the time, we stayed in a little apartment off Regency Road.

[00:08:57] As we, as I got into the ages around 8, 9, 10 years old, my daddy got a better job with Alltech.

[00:09:04] They actually run the equestrian games for horse racing down in Kentucky.

[00:09:08] And then my mom had a job with a company called Rock 10.

[00:09:12] And so she was starting to make a lot more money.

[00:09:14] And so we ended up moving into a little duplex for about a couple years.

[00:09:18] And we ended up moving to a real big house, about a five-bedroom house.

[00:09:21] I had a full basketball court in the back, a full basement.

[00:09:25] Had a toy room, game room with the air hockey table.

[00:09:28] And so that was, like, the first time, you know, I was able to see money.

[00:09:31] My mom worked two, three jobs.

[00:09:33] She'd been working since he was 14 years old.

[00:09:35] Again, dad was, you know, going back and forth between warehouse jobs at the time.

[00:09:40] And so at this point, I finally had that, like, somewhat stability as a child in the home.

[00:09:45] At this point, you know, everything seemed what we had a normal, like, Christian family.

[00:09:50] You know, brother, sister, mom, dad, everybody go to church on Sundays.

[00:09:56] Wednesday night Bible study.

[00:09:58] You know, your Sunday school, 930.

[00:09:59] You know, the normal, typical conservative Pentecostal home.

[00:10:03] So at the time, there was no, outside of that one time when I was four, there was no, you know, indication of domestic violence.

[00:10:11] And so it kind of seemed like everything was normal.

[00:10:13] My mom had started Weight Watchers and lost a lot of weight.

[00:10:18] And so currently she actually weighs way less than me.

[00:10:21] And so she was able to lose over 100 plus pounds over a span of four to five years.

[00:10:27] And so, again, at this time, I'm about 10, 12 years old, you know, going into middle school.

[00:10:34] Everything seemed normal.

[00:10:36] Like I said, we had, you know, three, four cars.

[00:10:39] And I also like to preface that by saying children in my school, you know, they looked at me and my sister as, oh, they kind of got it all.

[00:10:48] You know, you got the stable home, go to church.

[00:10:52] It seemed like, and my dad was one of those dads, he'd get off work at five and he'd let all the kids, all my friends come over and play outside in the yard, play basketball with us.

[00:11:02] So, and he'd sometimes come out there and play with us after work.

[00:11:05] And so, you know, to my friend's eyes and to my sister's friend's eyes, you know, we had, you know, we had it going on.

[00:11:12] You know, you had the big house, the parents had the cars, you know, and, you know, my mom was one of those moms, like she's very organized.

[00:11:19] She had the bills, everything, documented, spreadsheeted.

[00:11:23] My mom's very meticulous when it came to articulation.

[00:11:26] So like my always had the, not necessarily the most expensive clothes, but my clothes always match.

[00:11:31] Like even if she was following on the budget, you know, my, you know, she always made sure we were well kept.

[00:11:37] My sister always had her hair pressed back then.

[00:11:40] They used a pressing comb.

[00:11:41] So my sister always was well kept.

[00:11:44] And so looking from the outside, looking in, you would say, you know, they're pretty, you know, well off family.

[00:11:51] And so everything going on.

[00:11:53] Right.

[00:11:53] And so I remember when I got in middle school, seventh grade, my great grandmother had passed away.

[00:11:59] And that's when I kind of saw like a downturn in my parents' marriage.

[00:12:05] You know, the conversation, the family dinners, you know, you have Sunday dinner and those kind of got, you know, quieter.

[00:12:12] You know, you're not as energetic.

[00:12:14] And then moving on from when I was like 12, 13 years old, my parents kind of started talking about separation, talking a little bit about divorce.

[00:12:25] And so, you know, as a kid, you know, you don't know, you know, you go to church every Sunday, you, you know, have the family dinner.

[00:12:32] We were very active in sports.

[00:12:34] My mom always had us, you know, in activities.

[00:12:37] You know, I was in different school.

[00:12:39] I was in band, orchestra, things like that.

[00:12:42] So, you know, from a kid, I always thought that, you know, it was normal.

[00:12:46] And so, you know, I had a lot of friends at school.

[00:12:48] I was bullied during school.

[00:12:51] They used to call me Fat Darion.

[00:12:52] So they used to call me Mr. Snack Cake.

[00:12:56] And so I was a bigger guy, but I didn't, you know, let it affect me too much from a peer perspective.

[00:13:03] My most pain was at home.

[00:13:05] And so just especially now being a father of kids, just like I said, that mentality, always trying to be perfect.

[00:13:13] And then if you're not perfect, you know, you feel like you're letting yourself and the family down.

[00:13:17] And so I remember one time it was seventh grade and I got off.

[00:13:23] Well, I actually didn't even get a phone call.

[00:13:24] I remember coming home from school that day and my mom just sitting on the living room couch, just bawling out crying.

[00:13:32] And her whole face, you know how you get like carpet burn?

[00:13:36] She had carpet burn on the left side of her face.

[00:13:39] And then I was, you know, my dad always would get, she worked third shift at the time.

[00:13:44] So she would always be gone to work by the time we got home.

[00:13:47] You know, she'd make sure we did our homework, have dinner, and she'd, you know, be headed out the door.

[00:13:51] But, you know, this was, it was a regular weekday and she wasn't, she would have, didn't have her work clothes on.

[00:13:57] You know, she just had a robe on and was, you know, sitting on the couch crying.

[00:13:59] So, you know, I'm thinking, you know, did somebody pass away?

[00:14:02] Or I'm thinking it's, you know, like a family emergency.

[00:14:05] And then she had explained to me that my father had, you know, put his hands on her and, you know, that he was arrested.

[00:14:12] And so the story from that, she was on the phone with her friend.

[00:14:17] At this point, they were sleeping in separate rooms.

[00:14:20] So we had a full gas bedroom in the basement.

[00:14:23] So she actually let him have the bed upstairs, the master bedroom.

[00:14:26] And she would sleep downstairs in a basement.

[00:14:28] And so this specific day, he had came home early.

[00:14:31] And she was on the phone with one of her best female friends named Kendra.

[00:14:35] He had, like, assaulted her while she was on the phone.

[00:14:38] And her friend had hung up and called 911.

[00:14:40] So he ended up pushing my mom's face into the carpet and, like, you know, rubbing her face back and forth to, you know, create those carpet burns.

[00:14:49] And so at this point, he had got, you know, arrested, got bailed out, taken to my grandmother's house.

[00:14:55] So at this point, you know, my mom was, you know, set on divorce.

[00:14:59] You know, it was like, even though it was, like, the second time it happened, but, you know, she was dead set on divorce.

[00:15:06] He was staying with my grandmother for a while.

[00:15:09] You know, she began to talk to me and my sister about, you know, about divorce, about the co-parenting.

[00:15:14] And, you know, you know, talking about, you know, who's going to take the house, who's going to do, like, is he going to do weekend visitation, you know, all the different, you know, co-parenting things.

[00:15:24] And so kind of went through that through a couple years.

[00:15:27] And then around eighth grade, he had came back into the home.

[00:15:32] She ended up, was still set on separation at least.

[00:15:35] So they had separated for a while.

[00:15:37] She had came back in the home.

[00:15:38] You know, she was still dead set on divorce.

[00:15:40] So, you know, she let him come back in the home to kind of, like, you know, talk with us and, you know, live with us for a while until he figured out, you know, his living situation or who, you know, how he was going to go about that.

[00:15:52] From that experience, everything, you know, seemed normal up until the big day was Thanksgiving of 2010.

[00:16:02] That Thanksgiving, we went over my Aunt Loretta's house with a normal.

[00:16:05] Every year, somebody would host Thanksgiving dinner.

[00:16:07] That's just how we did as a family.

[00:16:09] Right.

[00:16:10] Everybody bring a dish, you know, somebody host.

[00:16:13] You know, leading up to that point, you know, my mom had kind of disassociated herself with, you know, with his side of the family because his, my grandmother and her didn't really get along.

[00:16:23] Her mom, you know, had unfortunately passed away when I was two years old.

[00:16:27] And then my granddad, he lived in Indiana.

[00:16:29] So as I get farther into the story, it's actually why we moved to Indiana because my grandfather was here.

[00:16:35] And so Thanksgiving, me, my sister, my dad went to my Aunt Loretta's house to regular, you know, regular Thanksgiving dinner.

[00:16:43] My cousins from, you know, Michigan, Ohio, everybody came.

[00:16:47] And we had a big family.

[00:16:48] There's about 30 of us or so plus, you know, watching the football games, you know, doing the normal Thanksgiving tradition.

[00:16:54] Loading up on Aunt Helen's sweet potatoes.

[00:16:57] Got to have the candy yams.

[00:16:59] Oh, yeah.

[00:16:59] Oh, yeah.

[00:17:00] Got to have the mac and cheese.

[00:17:01] And so it was a normal day.

[00:17:03] So my cousin lives midway, Kentucky.

[00:17:06] Her and my sister are about the same, actually the same age.

[00:17:08] Looking back, it was definitely a sign from God.

[00:17:12] She wanted my sister to spend the night with her.

[00:17:15] You know, they live midway, Kentucky's about an hour, hour and a half away from Lexington.

[00:17:19] So we would only see our cousins on Sunday mornings at church.

[00:17:22] And so, but they were real close.

[00:17:24] Like we used to have a little Nintendo BS and we used to chat back and forth, back before we had cool cell phones.

[00:17:32] You know, back then we had the house phone.

[00:17:34] And so they were real close.

[00:17:36] And so my dad and my uncle had talked and agreed to let my sister, you know, stay with them, stay with my uncle and spend the night that night.

[00:17:45] And so me and my dad, you know, after the dinner was over, we about nine o'clock or so, we headed back home.

[00:17:52] Normal Thanksgiving.

[00:17:53] Like I said, dinner, went to bed.

[00:17:55] I was 14 years old at the time.

[00:17:58] Remember waking up that morning, it was about nine o'clock in the morning.

[00:18:00] Again, I wore glasses slash contacts.

[00:18:03] So obviously when you wake up in the morning, you don't have your contacts in.

[00:18:06] Right.

[00:18:07] And so Black Friday, 2010, you know, the morning after Thanksgiving, woke up to my mom screaming my name.

[00:18:13] And any viewers out there, you know, that has, you know, a good mom in their life or a mom in their life, you know, there's different motherhood screams.

[00:18:22] There's your, you know, Darion, you know, there's the you're in trouble scream.

[00:18:26] Right.

[00:18:26] Like what'd you do?

[00:18:27] You did something wrong at school.

[00:18:29] There's your, hey, can you come here real quick and hand me the remote scream.

[00:18:33] Yes.

[00:18:33] But this specific time, it was that like a scream I never heard before.

[00:18:37] Oh my God.

[00:18:38] It was almost like a scary movie.

[00:18:40] Mm hmm.

[00:18:41] So, you know, just with my instincts, I jumped up out the bed, ran into the living room where she was at.

[00:18:48] And I noticed my father hitting her.

[00:18:51] Mm hmm.

[00:18:51] And so I'd pushed him off, got him, you know, off of her.

[00:18:55] She had instructed me to call the police.

[00:18:58] You know, back then we had house phones.

[00:18:59] We had two, three house phones.

[00:19:01] We had one downstairs in the basement, one in the kitchen, one of the master bedroom.

[00:19:05] So I'd obviously have those houses set up, front door, living room, kitchens right in front of the living room.

[00:19:12] So it was just walked right to the kitchen, picked up the house phone down 911, began talking to the operator.

[00:19:21] At this point, my dad had left her in the living room and walked over to me and grabbed the phone.

[00:19:26] Like I said, this is I've only told this story a few times.

[00:19:29] So any viewers out there that do believe in Christ, and like I said, I'm very strong in Christ.

[00:19:37] But like I said, if you don't believe in Christ, I suggest you definitely should.

[00:19:41] The way he was grabbing towards the phone, like, you know, you play video games and, you know, especially if you're in church, like those scary movies like Exorcism and different movies like that.

[00:19:54] But he moved, it was like he was, like, shifted.

[00:19:58] Like, you know how you do, like, like when you do the suicide drills in basketball where you're going louder, like back.

[00:20:05] But it was like a quick shift.

[00:20:07] And I remember, like, I looked in his eyes and, like, the people of his eyes turned black.

[00:20:12] Oh, wow.

[00:20:13] And that was like, you know, this is, and then, like, I always tell this, when I tell a story, I always prefer this, you know, if you're listening, viewing, you know, you have to understand, you know, this is my father.

[00:20:22] You know, this is, you know, this isn't like a random stranger on the street.

[00:20:26] This isn't me and my mom at the grocery store trying to get in the car and some stranger comes up and attacks her.

[00:20:32] You know, this is.

[00:20:32] Look up to you.

[00:20:33] Right.

[00:20:34] This is, you know, a father.

[00:20:36] Seeing that, you know, kind of honestly shocked me.

[00:20:38] And so I remember he tried to swipe at the phone twice, but it's like he's looking past me.

[00:20:44] So, like, he's not even, like, looking like he's grabbing at the phone, but he's, like, grabbing at my hand, like, at an angle.

[00:20:51] He tried three times and I kind of, like, moved to the opposite side.

[00:20:56] Then he stopped grabbing.

[00:20:58] I remember talking to the 911 operator.

[00:21:00] If anybody's seen those Halloween Michael Myers movies, we had this.

[00:21:05] I still remember the exact knife set.

[00:21:06] It was a Jinsu knife set, stainless steel.

[00:21:10] I remember he grabbing the biggest chef knife.

[00:21:12] Like I said, I am a cook, so the big chef knives that you use to cut, like, cabbage or meat with.

[00:21:17] He grabbed it out and ran into the living room and went to attack my mother.

[00:21:21] I ran, dropped the phone.

[00:21:23] I ran in there.

[00:21:25] Me and him fought the knife, trying to fight the knife away.

[00:21:30] I ended up with 13 stitches in my hand.

[00:21:32] I still have those scars on my right hand.

[00:21:34] I fought one knife away and then was able to disperse of it.

[00:21:38] And, like I said, my mom was a very courageous woman.

[00:21:40] She told me to protect me.

[00:21:43] Like, she was basically trying to sacrifice her life for me.

[00:21:45] Right.

[00:21:46] And she told me to run into the bastard bedroom and grab the other phone and, like, you know, basically shut the door and, like, protect myself.

[00:21:55] So I ran in the room, grabbed the phone.

[00:21:58] The smart thing I was able to do was the phone I dropped in the kitchen, I left it.

[00:22:03] I didn't hang up.

[00:22:04] So the 911 was able to try and let the call get the location.

[00:22:08] Police were already en route and they were able to actually listen to everything that was transpired.

[00:22:12] And so I ran in the room, got the phone, continued talking to the 911 operator.

[00:22:19] And then I heard him go back in the kitchen and grab another knife.

[00:22:22] And so this knife was the serrated braid you used to cut blade, the real long one, where you used to cut bread.

[00:22:29] And so he ran back in there.

[00:22:30] So then I, you know, I just said, forget it.

[00:22:32] You know, I'm going to go back and save my mom.

[00:22:34] You know, that's my mom.

[00:22:35] So I ran back in there.

[00:22:36] I remember he had the chef's knife.

[00:22:39] He was positioned on her like a full mount, like in UFC, like martial arts.

[00:22:43] And he was actually about to stab her in the neck.

[00:22:45] And I was on the floor next to him.

[00:22:47] And my mom had, like, you had those, the glass living room tables.

[00:22:51] She had three things on the table.

[00:22:53] She had a big vase.

[00:22:55] And she, I remember it was a very distinct, it was a glass cheetah print highhead.

[00:23:00] Never seen it before, never seen it again.

[00:23:03] So I was laying on the floor.

[00:23:05] I knew if I didn't do something that he would basically stab her in the neck, obviously it'd be pretty much an instant kill.

[00:23:11] So I actually, I grabbed, I remember it was a big, long, like African-style vase.

[00:23:15] I remember grabbing the neck with one hand, using all the force I had and cracking it over his head.

[00:23:21] It was able to, that one shot was able to stagger him, almost knock him out, and then drop the knives.

[00:23:28] She was able to move out the way so it didn't hit her.

[00:23:30] And then that's when the police rushed in.

[00:23:33] And the police detained him and got me and my mom to the ambulance.

[00:23:37] My mom ended up having 130 stitches in her left arm.

[00:23:42] Also had some nerve damage.

[00:23:44] So luckily it wasn't severe enough to amputate.

[00:23:47] She did have to do like six plus months of rehab.

[00:23:49] But, you know, she does get occasional soreness.

[00:23:53] But she was able to use that same arm as normal.

[00:23:57] And so I remember...

[00:23:59] Darian, hold on, bro.

[00:24:00] Pause for a second.

[00:24:01] First of all, I need to just...

[00:24:05] I'm clapping for you, brother.

[00:24:07] Right.

[00:24:07] That's...

[00:24:08] You saved not only your life, but your mother's life.

[00:24:11] And that was amazing.

[00:24:12] And that is a fantastic thing.

[00:24:14] And I'm not trying to make light of your situation.

[00:24:18] You have a phenomenal story.

[00:24:20] But I just wanted to commend you, brother.

[00:24:25] I'm sitting inside and I don't even know your dad.

[00:24:28] I'm not, you know...

[00:24:29] I'm fuming.

[00:24:31] I'm fuming.

[00:24:32] And I know it's in the past.

[00:24:33] I know that's history right now.

[00:24:36] But I'm fuming.

[00:24:37] I just want to commend you because...

[00:24:40] Like you, I've had to do something similar for a family before.

[00:24:45] You know?

[00:24:46] And it wasn't the same type of situation.

[00:24:48] But, you know, I just felt the instinct to jump in and help.

[00:24:52] It wasn't my mother.

[00:24:53] It wasn't...

[00:24:53] It was just...

[00:24:54] It was an aunt.

[00:24:55] But I felt that I needed the help in that situation.

[00:24:59] She had a boyfriend.

[00:25:00] And it was, you know, doing the same thing, basically.

[00:25:03] So I want to commend you, brother.

[00:25:05] I just...

[00:25:06] I just had to take a pause to do that.

[00:25:08] Go ahead and finish with your story.

[00:25:09] No, I appreciate it.

[00:25:10] Appreciate it.

[00:25:12] But yeah, at this...

[00:25:13] I remember riding in the ambulance.

[00:25:14] And again, I had...

[00:25:15] During this whole situation, I really can't see.

[00:25:18] You know, I didn't have my contacts in, so...

[00:25:21] I taste my glass.

[00:25:22] Right.

[00:25:23] So, you know, I saw everything.

[00:25:25] And so that's what really, like...

[00:25:27] When I go back to, like, the story of sin,

[00:25:30] like, his eyes turn black, you know.

[00:25:32] You know, one, your vision's blurry.

[00:25:34] But, like...

[00:25:35] Yeah.

[00:25:35] You know, you see something like that,

[00:25:37] it's like, whoa, I guess...

[00:25:39] I don't need glasses, but I still...

[00:25:41] I see...

[00:25:41] You see, I got them on still,

[00:25:43] so yeah, I still need the glasses.

[00:25:46] But...

[00:25:46] Did something trigger him?

[00:25:49] So...

[00:25:50] Was there something that happened?

[00:25:52] Or was he on anything?

[00:25:55] Was this a shock to your mom?

[00:25:58] Because as you were talking earlier,

[00:26:00] I was wondering if there were things going on

[00:26:03] that your mom kept from you and your sister.

[00:26:06] So, was there something that triggered him?

[00:26:10] I will say the...

[00:26:12] Like, a couple weeks before that,

[00:26:13] he had here once,

[00:26:14] but mostly it was just, like,

[00:26:16] the realization of, like, going back.

[00:26:18] And I always...

[00:26:19] If you're viewing this,

[00:26:20] like I said,

[00:26:20] if you're in a domestic situation,

[00:26:22] the best advice I can give you

[00:26:24] is seek higher counsel and get out.

[00:26:27] Yeah.

[00:26:28] Because once you enable somebody...

[00:26:31] I think what...

[00:26:31] And then we...

[00:26:32] Me and my mom have talked about this before,

[00:26:34] and she always tells,

[00:26:36] especially my younger sister,

[00:26:37] going back, the biggest...

[00:26:39] She always...

[00:26:40] My mom always says, like,

[00:26:41] one of the biggest mistakes she made

[00:26:42] was keep taking them back.

[00:26:44] And so, if you're viewing

[00:26:45] and you're in a situation

[00:26:46] where you keep taking them back,

[00:26:49] like, I do want to tell the viewers,

[00:26:51] you know,

[00:26:52] one, that person's never going to change.

[00:26:54] Only God can change that person.

[00:26:55] And so, you can't change another human.

[00:26:57] And so, what really triggered it

[00:27:00] was the realization of,

[00:27:01] oh, this woman's serious this time.

[00:27:03] Like, yeah, we're getting a divorce.

[00:27:05] I think what triggered was the...

[00:27:07] He kind of saw...

[00:27:09] Because, you know,

[00:27:09] when we were younger,

[00:27:11] you know, we were 8, 9, 10,

[00:27:12] you know, we didn't know.

[00:27:14] But, like, you know,

[00:27:14] I was 14, my sister was 11,

[00:27:16] so we already kind of know

[00:27:17] what divorce is.

[00:27:18] We're already kind of, you know,

[00:27:19] when you're a teenager,

[00:27:20] you're already aware.

[00:27:21] Yeah.

[00:27:22] So, we've already...

[00:27:23] We kind of, like,

[00:27:24] accepted the fact that,

[00:27:25] okay, we'll probably see him

[00:27:26] on the weekends

[00:27:27] and a weekday,

[00:27:28] you know,

[00:27:28] the normal court ordered

[00:27:30] or, you know,

[00:27:31] he'd probably, you know,

[00:27:32] pick us up from school

[00:27:33] or, you know,

[00:27:34] on Fridays or,

[00:27:35] you know,

[00:27:36] some sort of...

[00:27:37] So, we're already...

[00:27:38] I think it was the realization

[00:27:39] of my mom's...

[00:27:41] Like I said,

[00:27:42] my mom's very meticulous

[00:27:42] with her bills.

[00:27:44] Like, she's very organized.

[00:27:45] So, like,

[00:27:45] the whole family,

[00:27:46] including...

[00:27:47] And even his, like,

[00:27:48] people at church

[00:27:48] already knew about it.

[00:27:49] So, it wasn't like a,

[00:27:52] oh, wow,

[00:27:52] you guys are getting a divorce.

[00:27:53] Like, his mom knew,

[00:27:55] the whole church knew.

[00:27:56] Like, you know,

[00:27:57] they were going to counseling.

[00:27:59] Like, they...

[00:27:59] You know,

[00:28:00] this was like,

[00:28:00] hey, this is the final decision.

[00:28:02] You know,

[00:28:02] we're getting a divorce.

[00:28:03] So, that...

[00:28:04] And that's why

[00:28:05] I want to tell the viewers,

[00:28:07] you know,

[00:28:07] like, after that last time

[00:28:08] with the carpet burn,

[00:28:09] like, if she would have

[00:28:10] never let him back,

[00:28:11] it probably wouldn't have happened.

[00:28:12] Like,

[00:28:13] and then I also want to tell people,

[00:28:16] viewers out there,

[00:28:17] you know,

[00:28:17] watch for those red flags,

[00:28:18] you know.

[00:28:21] To me, honestly,

[00:28:22] you know,

[00:28:23] just, like,

[00:28:24] just being a survivor

[00:28:25] and talking to other people

[00:28:26] and, you know,

[00:28:27] just being,

[00:28:28] you know,

[00:28:28] growing survivors,

[00:28:30] honestly, like,

[00:28:32] in any relationship,

[00:28:33] there's that uncrossable line.

[00:28:36] Whether it be,

[00:28:37] you know,

[00:28:38] like,

[00:28:38] if you're in a relationship

[00:28:38] and you have a parent

[00:28:40] that's passed away,

[00:28:41] you know,

[00:28:42] if you're dating somebody

[00:28:43] and they talk bad

[00:28:44] about your dead parent,

[00:28:45] you know,

[00:28:46] that should be uncrossable.

[00:28:47] You know,

[00:28:47] putting your hands

[00:28:48] on each other,

[00:28:49] you know,

[00:28:51] you know,

[00:28:51] that should be across.

[00:28:52] Certain profound words

[00:28:53] should be,

[00:28:53] you know,

[00:28:55] an uncrossable.

[00:28:55] So,

[00:28:56] I do want to tell the viewers,

[00:28:58] you know,

[00:28:58] watch for those red flags

[00:29:00] and if they do something

[00:29:01] that's like,

[00:29:02] you know,

[00:29:02] one of those unforgivable,

[00:29:04] like,

[00:29:04] uncrossable things

[00:29:05] and it's time to,

[00:29:06] hey,

[00:29:07] you know,

[00:29:07] I know we thought

[00:29:08] we had something going on

[00:29:09] but it's time to,

[00:29:09] you know,

[00:29:10] mutually part ways.

[00:29:11] Can I,

[00:29:12] let me ask you,

[00:29:13] growing up,

[00:29:14] did you notice that,

[00:29:16] like you said,

[00:29:16] in the earlier years,

[00:29:18] they were struggling financially?

[00:29:19] So,

[00:29:20] did you notice that

[00:29:21] the violence was

[00:29:22] more so then

[00:29:23] and did it

[00:29:25] kind of slack off

[00:29:26] when they started

[00:29:27] making more money

[00:29:29] or was it

[00:29:30] just a continuum thing?

[00:29:32] Or do you think mom was,

[00:29:33] it was easier for mom

[00:29:35] to kind of hide things?

[00:29:36] Right.

[00:29:37] So,

[00:29:38] one of the one questions,

[00:29:39] I know I did mention her

[00:29:40] losing all that weight,

[00:29:41] so,

[00:29:42] he had that one instance

[00:29:44] when I was real young

[00:29:45] at four

[00:29:46] but like I said,

[00:29:47] at this time,

[00:29:47] at this point,

[00:29:48] you know,

[00:29:48] when I was in my,

[00:29:49] you know,

[00:29:49] I was,

[00:29:50] you know,

[00:29:50] as a toddler,

[00:29:51] she was about,

[00:29:51] you know,

[00:29:52] 300 plus pounds

[00:29:54] so,

[00:29:54] you know,

[00:29:55] her self-esteem

[00:29:55] was lower,

[00:29:57] you know,

[00:29:57] obviously he was

[00:29:58] the breadwinner

[00:29:59] even though we were

[00:29:59] struggling

[00:30:00] and so,

[00:30:01] he had like that

[00:30:01] one incidence

[00:30:02] but it was more of a,

[00:30:04] at that point,

[00:30:05] he had more of that

[00:30:06] like emotional,

[00:30:08] psychological control

[00:30:09] but as she,

[00:30:11] as she,

[00:30:12] because she actually,

[00:30:13] when she moved to

[00:30:14] Rock 10

[00:30:14] and we moved to

[00:30:15] the big house,

[00:30:15] she actually started

[00:30:16] making more money

[00:30:17] than him.

[00:30:18] Like they're more level.

[00:30:19] Yeah.

[00:30:20] So,

[00:30:20] I think she made,

[00:30:21] I don't know the exact weight

[00:30:22] but I think she was

[00:30:25] making a little,

[00:30:26] a little bit more than him

[00:30:28] and then on top of that,

[00:30:29] she lost all that weight

[00:30:30] so then her confidence

[00:30:32] was getting

[00:30:33] stronger than herself

[00:30:35] so it was like,

[00:30:36] was making more money.

[00:30:38] Right.

[00:30:39] She got a little finer.

[00:30:41] Right.

[00:30:42] More attention,

[00:30:43] you know.

[00:30:43] And then,

[00:30:44] then you want the divorce

[00:30:46] so it's like,

[00:30:46] dang,

[00:30:47] like it was like

[00:30:48] that need for you.

[00:30:49] Yeah.

[00:30:49] And I wanted to

[00:30:51] go back to

[00:30:52] when you were talking

[00:30:53] about those things

[00:30:54] that you just,

[00:30:55] those things that cross lines

[00:30:56] you don't come back from.

[00:30:58] My thing is

[00:30:59] if you're in a relationship

[00:31:00] with someone

[00:31:01] and you ever feel fearful,

[00:31:03] that's to me

[00:31:04] a red flag.

[00:31:05] Yes, yes.

[00:31:06] I have never felt

[00:31:07] afraid of him.

[00:31:09] Now,

[00:31:10] I know

[00:31:11] we've had probably

[00:31:12] about five arguments

[00:31:14] that were big

[00:31:15] blowout arguments

[00:31:17] and I

[00:31:18] can be a bit feisty.

[00:31:20] I know

[00:31:22] the moment

[00:31:22] when I cross a line

[00:31:24] and when it's time

[00:31:25] for me to step back

[00:31:26] but even

[00:31:27] in those situations

[00:31:28] I didn't feel

[00:31:29] fearful

[00:31:30] for my safety.

[00:31:31] I knew

[00:31:32] I crossed the line

[00:31:34] I need to stop

[00:31:35] but for me

[00:31:36] anytime you're with someone

[00:31:37] if you fear your safety

[00:31:39] that's a definite red flag.

[00:31:41] Yes, yes, definitely.

[00:31:42] And I think

[00:31:43] that was

[00:31:44] the time

[00:31:44] with the carpet burn

[00:31:46] because like I said

[00:31:46] none of us was home

[00:31:47] and I think

[00:31:48] that was like

[00:31:49] where she realized

[00:31:50] like okay

[00:31:50] like

[00:31:52] that's where

[00:31:52] that kind of fear

[00:31:53] came to life

[00:31:54] like alright

[00:31:54] so this dude

[00:31:55] is really crazy

[00:31:56] like he's really crazy.

[00:31:57] but you know

[00:31:58] the thing about it is

[00:32:00] even with that situation

[00:32:01] I mean

[00:32:02] I don't understand

[00:32:03] dudes who hit women

[00:32:04] I'm the type of guy

[00:32:06] that if I

[00:32:07] hear about a friend

[00:32:09] or a family member

[00:32:10] hitting on a woman

[00:32:11] I don't mess with them

[00:32:12] I mean

[00:32:13] I'm totally done

[00:32:13] with them

[00:32:14] so I mean

[00:32:17] he

[00:32:17] he had to

[00:32:18] have

[00:32:19] I'm just trying

[00:32:20] to figure out

[00:32:22] the mindset

[00:32:23] of a man

[00:32:25] like that

[00:32:25] and not trying

[00:32:26] to judge him

[00:32:26] I'm just saying

[00:32:28] anybody

[00:32:29] but you know

[00:32:31] the thing about it is

[00:32:33] I understand

[00:32:34] that you know

[00:32:35] at a beginning

[00:32:36] struggle

[00:32:37] you have

[00:32:38] you know

[00:32:38] situations that happen

[00:32:40] and you know

[00:32:41] you feel like

[00:32:42] you want to just

[00:32:42] come on

[00:32:43] take it out on

[00:32:44] something or somebody

[00:32:45] but you know

[00:32:46] that's a part of control

[00:32:47] but I think

[00:32:48] he had control

[00:32:49] in the beginning

[00:32:50] and when he started

[00:32:52] feeling like he was

[00:32:53] losing control

[00:32:53] and losing power

[00:32:54] he felt like

[00:32:55] he had to assert

[00:32:56] himself

[00:32:56] and I don't

[00:32:57] understand it

[00:32:58] by no means

[00:32:58] but I see that

[00:33:00] that thing happen

[00:33:01] that's one thing

[00:33:03] that happens

[00:33:03] with me

[00:33:04] in this situation

[00:33:04] go ahead

[00:33:05] brother

[00:33:05] I'm sorry

[00:33:06] right definitely

[00:33:07] oh yeah

[00:33:07] I appreciate that

[00:33:08] but yeah

[00:33:09] like you just said

[00:33:10] to any viewers

[00:33:10] listening

[00:33:11] you know

[00:33:12] they always say

[00:33:13] pride comes before

[00:33:14] the fall

[00:33:15] man

[00:33:16] so you want

[00:33:17] to make sure

[00:33:18] a lot of

[00:33:19] people

[00:33:19] I'll also

[00:33:19] people talk

[00:33:20] on my podcast

[00:33:21] also talk about

[00:33:22] trauma bonding

[00:33:22] if you're in a

[00:33:24] relationship

[00:33:24] out there

[00:33:25] make sure

[00:33:26] it's not

[00:33:27] a situationship

[00:33:28] or make sure

[00:33:29] it's for the right

[00:33:30] reasons

[00:33:30] you know

[00:33:30] if you're only

[00:33:31] with him

[00:33:31] or her

[00:33:32] for the money

[00:33:32] or for the

[00:33:33] status

[00:33:35] you know

[00:33:36] reevaluate

[00:33:37] you know

[00:33:37] because life

[00:33:38] can strike

[00:33:38] at any time

[00:33:39] you know

[00:33:39] if he's

[00:33:40] let's say

[00:33:41] he was a

[00:33:41] professional

[00:33:41] athlete

[00:33:42] and he's

[00:33:42] a millionaire

[00:33:43] well if he

[00:33:44] gets hurt

[00:33:44] or cut

[00:33:45] or can't

[00:33:46] play anymore

[00:33:46] you know

[00:33:47] what's the

[00:33:48] lifestyle

[00:33:48] what's the

[00:33:49] backup

[00:33:50] plan

[00:33:50] also

[00:33:51] I do want

[00:33:52] to talk

[00:33:52] to the women

[00:33:53] out there

[00:33:53] viewing

[00:33:54] I just want

[00:33:55] you know

[00:33:55] if you're

[00:33:55] a domestic

[00:33:56] violence

[00:33:56] survivor

[00:33:57] you're

[00:33:57] you know

[00:33:58] survived your

[00:33:59] situation

[00:33:59] you're still

[00:34:00] going through

[00:34:00] your situation

[00:34:01] I want

[00:34:02] you to know

[00:34:02] that

[00:34:03] you know

[00:34:04] your voice

[00:34:04] matters

[00:34:05] and that

[00:34:06] you have

[00:34:07] your own

[00:34:07] power

[00:34:07] I witnessed

[00:34:09] myself

[00:34:09] with my mom

[00:34:10] just with

[00:34:11] my story

[00:34:12] you know

[00:34:12] like I said

[00:34:13] I'm a big

[00:34:14] mama's boy

[00:34:14] but I didn't

[00:34:15] know my mom

[00:34:16] until this

[00:34:16] after this

[00:34:17] situation

[00:34:17] happened

[00:34:18] my mom

[00:34:19] growing up

[00:34:20] she like I

[00:34:20] said she'd

[00:34:21] been working

[00:34:21] she was 14

[00:34:22] she loved

[00:34:22] to write

[00:34:23] poetry

[00:34:24] she loved

[00:34:24] to rap

[00:34:25] she was actually

[00:34:26] won awards

[00:34:27] with poetry

[00:34:27] and rap

[00:34:28] you know

[00:34:28] before I was

[00:34:29] born

[00:34:30] but she

[00:34:31] actually ended

[00:34:32] up getting

[00:34:32] pregnant with

[00:34:33] me at 21

[00:34:34] years of age

[00:34:34] you know

[00:34:35] if you were

[00:34:36] a Christian

[00:34:36] out there

[00:34:36] you know

[00:34:37] the out of

[00:34:37] wedlock

[00:34:38] thing

[00:34:38] she kind

[00:34:39] of got

[00:34:39] not necessarily

[00:34:40] forced to

[00:34:41] marry my dad

[00:34:42] but it was

[00:34:42] like frowned

[00:34:43] upon

[00:34:44] because you

[00:34:45] know the

[00:34:45] firstborn

[00:34:45] like hey

[00:34:46] you know

[00:34:47] you're in

[00:34:48] Pentecostal

[00:34:48] church

[00:34:49] you know

[00:34:50] you're a

[00:34:51] member

[00:34:51] especially with

[00:34:52] them being

[00:34:52] members of

[00:34:53] the church

[00:34:53] and he's

[00:34:54] a musician

[00:34:54] in the church

[00:34:55] back then

[00:34:56] it was frowned

[00:34:56] upon to

[00:34:57] you know

[00:34:58] have children

[00:34:59] out of

[00:34:59] wedlock

[00:35:00] so

[00:35:00] and she's

[00:35:01] already

[00:35:01] you know

[00:35:02] he's

[00:35:02] one year

[00:35:03] older than

[00:35:04] her

[00:35:04] so she

[00:35:04] he was

[00:35:05] 22

[00:35:05] she was

[00:35:06] 21

[00:35:06] so it's

[00:35:07] like hey

[00:35:07] you know

[00:35:07] these young

[00:35:08] kids you know

[00:35:09] you guys

[00:35:10] got pregnant

[00:35:11] you know

[00:35:11] you guys

[00:35:11] need to get

[00:35:12] married

[00:35:12] and so

[00:35:13] they ended

[00:35:13] up doing

[00:35:14] that

[00:35:14] and then

[00:35:15] you know

[00:35:15] one thing

[00:35:16] I do want

[00:35:16] to say

[00:35:16] to viewers

[00:35:17] is you know

[00:35:18] if you do

[00:35:18] get married

[00:35:18] or get in a

[00:35:19] relationship

[00:35:20] don't let

[00:35:20] what your

[00:35:21] ambitions are

[00:35:22] stop

[00:35:22] because you're

[00:35:23] in a

[00:35:23] relationship

[00:35:24] any relationship

[00:35:25] should enhance

[00:35:28] what you're

[00:35:29] you know

[00:35:29] so if you're

[00:35:30] if he's

[00:35:31] you know

[00:35:31] writing music

[00:35:32] or he's a

[00:35:33] chef

[00:35:33] or if he's

[00:35:34] trying to go

[00:35:35] to school

[00:35:35] to be a

[00:35:36] doctor

[00:35:36] you know

[00:35:37] and you're

[00:35:37] trying to

[00:35:38] go to school

[00:35:38] to be a

[00:35:39] lawyer

[00:35:39] when you

[00:35:39] merge together

[00:35:40] in union

[00:35:41] you know

[00:35:41] that should

[00:35:42] be a

[00:35:43] supplement

[00:35:43] to each

[00:35:44] other

[00:35:44] instead of

[00:35:45] taking away

[00:35:46] you know

[00:35:46] if anybody

[00:35:47] hinders your

[00:35:48] growth

[00:35:48] you know

[00:35:48] that's one

[00:35:49] you need

[00:35:49] to talk

[00:35:50] to God

[00:35:50] but also

[00:35:51] that's

[00:35:51] somebody

[00:35:51] that

[00:35:52] you know

[00:35:52] also have

[00:35:53] a conversation

[00:35:53] with yourself

[00:35:54] so like

[00:35:55] like I said

[00:35:56] if you're

[00:35:56] a woman

[00:35:56] out there

[00:35:56] going through

[00:35:57] this situation

[00:35:58] I'll always

[00:35:59] tell people

[00:36:00] seek higher

[00:36:00] counsel

[00:36:01] you know

[00:36:01] if you want

[00:36:01] a successful

[00:36:02] marriage

[00:36:02] you need to

[00:36:03] talk to people

[00:36:03] with a successful

[00:36:04] marriage

[00:36:05] they do say

[00:36:06] that five

[00:36:07] the five

[00:36:08] people that

[00:36:08] you hang

[00:36:09] around the

[00:36:09] most are

[00:36:09] you're the

[00:36:10] sum of

[00:36:11] them

[00:36:12] another

[00:36:12] good quote

[00:36:13] I heard

[00:36:14] off a sports

[00:36:15] podcast

[00:36:16] and they

[00:36:16] were talking

[00:36:17] about sports

[00:36:18] but this

[00:36:19] is a good

[00:36:19] judge

[00:36:20] a character

[00:36:20] for any

[00:36:21] man or

[00:36:22] woman out

[00:36:22] there viewing

[00:36:24] Colin Coher

[00:36:25] he's a

[00:36:25] sports

[00:36:26] analyst

[00:36:26] so like

[00:36:27] I said

[00:36:27] I won't

[00:36:27] copyright his

[00:36:28] quote

[00:36:29] so like

[00:36:29] I said

[00:36:30] that's

[00:36:30] copyrighted

[00:36:31] but he

[00:36:32] said if

[00:36:32] you take

[00:36:33] someone's

[00:36:33] best day

[00:36:34] and you

[00:36:34] take

[00:36:34] someone's

[00:36:35] worst day

[00:36:35] and you

[00:36:36] counsel

[00:36:36] them out

[00:36:36] every day

[00:36:37] in between

[00:36:37] is who

[00:36:38] they are

[00:36:39] oh wow

[00:36:39] and so

[00:36:41] again I'll

[00:36:42] say that

[00:36:42] for the

[00:36:42] viewers

[00:36:43] if you

[00:36:44] are in

[00:36:44] a relationship

[00:36:44] especially

[00:36:45] take your

[00:36:46] man or

[00:36:47] woman

[00:36:47] take your

[00:36:47] spouses

[00:36:48] or your

[00:36:49] significant

[00:36:49] others

[00:36:50] take their

[00:36:50] worst thing

[00:36:51] they've ever

[00:36:51] done to you

[00:36:52] take the

[00:36:52] best thing

[00:36:53] they've ever

[00:36:53] done to you

[00:36:54] or the best

[00:36:54] way they've

[00:36:55] treated you

[00:36:55] the worst

[00:36:55] way they

[00:36:56] treated you

[00:36:56] cancel them

[00:36:57] out

[00:36:57] every day

[00:36:58] you guys

[00:36:58] spent together

[00:36:59] since then

[00:37:00] that's who

[00:37:00] they are

[00:37:01] and so

[00:37:02] I just want

[00:37:03] definitely

[00:37:04] something to

[00:37:04] think about

[00:37:05] as you're

[00:37:06] viewing the

[00:37:07] podcast here

[00:37:08] and to go

[00:37:09] back to

[00:37:10] the domestic

[00:37:10] violence story

[00:37:11] again like

[00:37:11] I wrote an

[00:37:12] ambulance to

[00:37:12] the hospital

[00:37:13] I just

[00:37:14] remember

[00:37:14] you know

[00:37:15] laying on

[00:37:15] the hospital

[00:37:16] bed

[00:37:16] and you

[00:37:18] know

[00:37:18] I used to

[00:37:18] watch CSI

[00:37:19] Law & Order

[00:37:19] growing up

[00:37:20] still watch

[00:37:20] Law & Order

[00:37:21] but I remember

[00:37:22] all the people

[00:37:22] the crime scene

[00:37:23] people taking

[00:37:24] pictures of my

[00:37:24] hand

[00:37:25] taking pictures

[00:37:25] of my face

[00:37:26] for the evidence

[00:37:29] that was the

[00:37:29] first time I

[00:37:30] had really felt

[00:37:31] like somberness

[00:37:32] it wasn't even

[00:37:33] like a

[00:37:34] you know

[00:37:35] I was in

[00:37:35] shock

[00:37:35] so it wasn't

[00:37:36] like an

[00:37:36] anger

[00:37:37] it wasn't

[00:37:37] like a

[00:37:38] hatred

[00:37:39] at that point

[00:37:40] it was just

[00:37:41] you know

[00:37:41] when you're a nurse

[00:37:42] you know

[00:37:42] I'm getting

[00:37:43] rushed in

[00:37:43] she's getting

[00:37:44] rushed in

[00:37:44] you know

[00:37:44] separate

[00:37:45] we go our

[00:37:45] separate ways

[00:37:46] you know

[00:37:46] I go to

[00:37:46] the teenage

[00:37:47] wing

[00:37:48] she's an

[00:37:48] adult

[00:37:48] like she's

[00:37:49] in the ER

[00:37:49] because you

[00:37:50] know

[00:37:50] with the

[00:37:50] blood loss

[00:37:51] so she's

[00:37:52] in an

[00:37:52] you know

[00:37:52] emergency

[00:37:53] like they're

[00:37:53] trying to

[00:37:54] work

[00:37:54] you know

[00:37:54] do the

[00:37:54] surgery

[00:37:55] do whatever

[00:37:55] fast

[00:37:56] I just

[00:37:57] remember

[00:37:57] the nurse

[00:37:58] it was like

[00:37:58] well I can't

[00:37:58] remember the

[00:37:59] nurse's name

[00:37:59] it was really

[00:38:00] she was a

[00:38:00] sweet lady

[00:38:01] but she just

[00:38:02] asked what

[00:38:03] happened

[00:38:03] to me

[00:38:03] you know

[00:38:04] she said

[00:38:04] if you

[00:38:04] don't mind

[00:38:05] me asking

[00:38:05] you know

[00:38:05] what happened

[00:38:06] because you

[00:38:07] know like I

[00:38:07] said I

[00:38:07] just had

[00:38:08] the hand

[00:38:08] bleeding

[00:38:09] I had

[00:38:10] some scars

[00:38:11] on my

[00:38:11] face

[00:38:11] so she's

[00:38:12] thinking

[00:38:12] you know

[00:38:12] maybe I

[00:38:13] fell

[00:38:13] or maybe

[00:38:15] I got in

[00:38:15] a fight

[00:38:15] you know

[00:38:16] but I

[00:38:16] told her

[00:38:17] what happened

[00:38:18] and then

[00:38:18] she said

[00:38:19] who did

[00:38:19] this to

[00:38:20] you

[00:38:20] you know

[00:38:20] I said

[00:38:20] my father

[00:38:21] and I

[00:38:21] just

[00:38:21] remember

[00:38:22] her face

[00:38:22] just being

[00:38:23] like shocked

[00:38:23] like what

[00:38:24] and then

[00:38:25] so you know

[00:38:26] that situation

[00:38:26] happened

[00:38:27] where my

[00:38:28] granddad

[00:38:28] in Indiana

[00:38:30] her and

[00:38:30] my grandma

[00:38:31] and then

[00:38:31] my aunts

[00:38:33] because they

[00:38:34] all lived

[00:38:34] in Columbus

[00:38:34] Indiana

[00:38:35] so Indiana

[00:38:36] is about

[00:38:36] a three

[00:38:37] hour

[00:38:37] three and a

[00:38:38] half hour

[00:38:38] drive from

[00:38:39] Lexington

[00:38:39] so they

[00:38:40] literally

[00:38:41] drove

[00:38:41] they actually

[00:38:42] were at

[00:38:42] the hospital

[00:38:43] within two

[00:38:44] hours of

[00:38:44] us getting

[00:38:46] there

[00:38:46] they literally

[00:38:46] he literally

[00:38:47] jumped in

[00:38:48] the van

[00:38:48] they packed

[00:38:50] a little

[00:38:50] quick bag

[00:38:51] and came

[00:38:52] down

[00:38:52] I remember

[00:38:53] them

[00:38:54] my mom got

[00:38:55] out of

[00:38:55] surgery

[00:38:55] everything

[00:38:56] went successful

[00:38:56] she had

[00:38:57] the cast

[00:38:58] you know

[00:38:59] we got

[00:38:59] driven home

[00:39:00] by you know

[00:39:01] my grandparents

[00:39:02] and them

[00:39:02] honestly

[00:39:03] getting back

[00:39:04] home was probably

[00:39:04] the worst

[00:39:05] part of the

[00:39:06] actual situation

[00:39:07] because

[00:39:08] and like I said

[00:39:09] you know

[00:39:10] I watched

[00:39:10] all the CSIs

[00:39:11] law and orders

[00:39:13] you know

[00:39:13] I always studied

[00:39:14] forensic science

[00:39:15] in school

[00:39:15] and so you know

[00:39:16] the worst

[00:39:17] it didn't really

[00:39:18] hit me until

[00:39:19] we came back

[00:39:20] home and we

[00:39:20] had to

[00:39:21] it sounds

[00:39:22] it's gonna

[00:39:22] sound weird

[00:39:23] but we had

[00:39:23] to clean up

[00:39:24] our own house

[00:39:24] right

[00:39:25] and that was

[00:39:27] like

[00:39:27] like you know

[00:39:28] it's just

[00:39:29] and you know

[00:39:30] mom

[00:39:30] so what's

[00:39:31] crazy is

[00:39:32] my little

[00:39:32] sister

[00:39:33] has no

[00:39:34] idea

[00:39:34] what's

[00:39:34] going on

[00:39:35] nobody

[00:39:35] has no

[00:39:36] idea

[00:39:36] it's literally

[00:39:36] and we

[00:39:37] made the

[00:39:37] news

[00:39:38] we were

[00:39:38] the top

[00:39:39] story on

[00:39:39] the news

[00:39:40] for about

[00:39:40] three weeks

[00:39:41] straight

[00:39:41] so my

[00:39:42] neighbors

[00:39:43] you know

[00:39:44] my grandma's

[00:39:44] watching it

[00:39:45] you know

[00:39:45] they're watching

[00:39:46] so his mom

[00:39:47] watching the

[00:39:47] news

[00:39:47] like what

[00:39:48] what is

[00:39:49] this

[00:39:49] you know

[00:39:50] it was to

[00:39:51] the point

[00:39:51] my uncle

[00:39:53] he watched

[00:39:54] the news

[00:39:54] so he saw

[00:39:55] my sister

[00:39:56] running in the

[00:39:56] room with

[00:39:57] you know

[00:39:57] I found this

[00:39:58] out later

[00:39:58] he had to

[00:39:59] turn her

[00:39:59] up and

[00:40:00] turn it

[00:40:00] off

[00:40:00] because you

[00:40:01] know it

[00:40:01] showed me

[00:40:02] and my

[00:40:02] mom and

[00:40:03] their

[00:40:03] address

[00:40:04] it showed

[00:40:04] the house

[00:40:04] it showed

[00:40:05] the police

[00:40:07] taping it

[00:40:07] off and

[00:40:08] it showed

[00:40:08] you know

[00:40:09] they were

[00:40:09] interviewing

[00:40:10] my neighbors

[00:40:10] and so

[00:40:11] you know

[00:40:12] this was

[00:40:12] like it

[00:40:12] wasn't like

[00:40:13] a you

[00:40:14] know

[00:40:14] whatever

[00:40:14] it was

[00:40:14] like a

[00:40:15] big deal

[00:40:15] because

[00:40:16] you know

[00:40:17] like I

[00:40:17] said

[00:40:17] you know

[00:40:17] my family

[00:40:18] you know

[00:40:18] they're well

[00:40:19] respected

[00:40:20] you know

[00:40:20] in the

[00:40:21] community

[00:40:21] yeah the

[00:40:22] worst part

[00:40:23] was cleaning

[00:40:23] up the

[00:40:24] house

[00:40:24] just seeing

[00:40:26] like the

[00:40:26] my first

[00:40:27] like realization

[00:40:29] is when I

[00:40:30] walked in the

[00:40:30] front door

[00:40:31] seeing all

[00:40:31] the blood

[00:40:32] on the

[00:40:32] floor

[00:40:33] all the

[00:40:34] broken

[00:40:35] shards

[00:40:35] from the

[00:40:36] vase

[00:40:36] and then I

[00:40:37] went to

[00:40:37] my room

[00:40:38] and I

[00:40:39] saw where

[00:40:39] I had

[00:40:39] dragged

[00:40:40] the blood

[00:40:40] like it

[00:40:41] was dripping

[00:40:41] from my

[00:40:41] hand to

[00:40:42] like my

[00:40:43] bed spread

[00:40:44] and

[00:40:45] and then

[00:40:46] obviously

[00:40:46] my granddad

[00:40:47] and them

[00:40:47] helped

[00:40:48] you know

[00:40:48] obviously

[00:40:48] my mom

[00:40:49] didn't

[00:40:49] clean up

[00:40:50] because you

[00:40:50] know

[00:40:50] she was

[00:40:51] hurt

[00:40:51] but I

[00:40:52] I

[00:40:53] told us

[00:40:53] to sit

[00:40:54] out

[00:40:54] and then

[00:40:57] just sitting

[00:40:57] there

[00:40:58] watching them

[00:40:58] clean it

[00:40:59] up

[00:40:59] you know

[00:41:00] I was

[00:41:00] like I

[00:41:00] said

[00:41:00] I was

[00:41:01] in shock

[00:41:01] for about

[00:41:02] a week

[00:41:02] and then

[00:41:03] again

[00:41:03] you gotta

[00:41:03] think

[00:41:04] you know

[00:41:04] being on

[00:41:05] TV

[00:41:05] you know

[00:41:06] all my

[00:41:06] you know

[00:41:06] we're on

[00:41:07] Thanksgiving

[00:41:07] break

[00:41:08] you know

[00:41:08] in school

[00:41:09] so you

[00:41:10] know

[00:41:10] all my

[00:41:11] friends

[00:41:11] at school

[00:41:12] you know

[00:41:12] they're

[00:41:12] watching

[00:41:12] the news

[00:41:13] watching

[00:41:13] you know

[00:41:14] back then

[00:41:14] that's when

[00:41:15] smartphones

[00:41:15] first started

[00:41:16] you know

[00:41:17] that's when

[00:41:17] the iPhones

[00:41:18] really

[00:41:18] you know

[00:41:18] started

[00:41:19] booming

[00:41:19] so you

[00:41:21] know

[00:41:21] it wasn't

[00:41:21] like back

[00:41:21] in the day

[00:41:22] where

[00:41:22] you know

[00:41:23] you had to

[00:41:23] turn the radio

[00:41:24] and you know

[00:41:25] everything

[00:41:26] that was when

[00:41:26] the internet

[00:41:27] first you know

[00:41:28] Twitter

[00:41:29] I think

[00:41:29] it was

[00:41:30] Twitter

[00:41:31] first started

[00:41:32] getting hot

[00:41:33] and then

[00:41:33] Facebook

[00:41:34] was real

[00:41:35] big back

[00:41:35] then

[00:41:36] that's when

[00:41:36] Facebook

[00:41:37] first started

[00:41:37] so everybody's

[00:41:39] like calling

[00:41:40] the house phone

[00:41:41] you know

[00:41:43] trying to

[00:41:43] you know

[00:41:44] wanting to talk

[00:41:45] obviously

[00:41:45] we don't want

[00:41:46] to talk

[00:41:46] because you know

[00:41:46] we just went

[00:41:47] through the

[00:41:48] that's the last

[00:41:49] thing I want

[00:41:50] to do

[00:41:50] is talk

[00:41:51] the whole

[00:41:52] family

[00:41:52] trying to get

[00:41:53] in touch

[00:41:54] with us

[00:41:54] and come

[00:41:54] over

[00:41:55] so

[00:41:56] another

[00:41:56] thing I want

[00:41:57] to say

[00:41:57] is

[00:41:58] another

[00:41:58] error

[00:41:59] that my

[00:42:00] mom had

[00:42:00] made

[00:42:01] is

[00:42:01] you know

[00:42:02] when you

[00:42:02] get married

[00:42:02] don't let

[00:42:04] one spouse's

[00:42:05] or one

[00:42:06] significant other

[00:42:06] side of the

[00:42:07] family like

[00:42:08] take control

[00:42:08] of the whole

[00:42:09] family

[00:42:09] I say that

[00:42:10] by saying

[00:42:11] I

[00:42:11] so outside

[00:42:12] my granddad

[00:42:13] would visit

[00:42:13] every Christmas

[00:42:15] from Indiana

[00:42:16] so I'd

[00:42:16] obviously

[00:42:16] talk to him

[00:42:17] so like

[00:42:18] my uncle

[00:42:19] Robert

[00:42:20] in Chicago

[00:42:21] again he

[00:42:22] would send

[00:42:22] me

[00:42:23] birthday

[00:42:24] and Christmas

[00:42:24] every year

[00:42:25] I knew

[00:42:25] he was

[00:42:26] would talk

[00:42:26] to him

[00:42:27] but never

[00:42:27] see him

[00:42:28] in person

[00:42:28] because they

[00:42:29] lived

[00:42:29] in Illinois

[00:42:30] and that's

[00:42:31] on my

[00:42:32] mom's side

[00:42:32] because you

[00:42:33] know my

[00:42:33] dad's side

[00:42:34] dominated

[00:42:34] my whole

[00:42:35] childhood

[00:42:36] you know

[00:42:37] my mom

[00:42:37] talked to

[00:42:38] her family

[00:42:38] but and

[00:42:39] you know

[00:42:39] even the

[00:42:39] family

[00:42:40] all the

[00:42:40] family

[00:42:40] that lived

[00:42:41] in Kentucky

[00:42:41] you know

[00:42:42] my mom

[00:42:42] kept up

[00:42:43] with them

[00:42:43] and talked

[00:42:44] to them

[00:42:44] but we

[00:42:44] never

[00:42:44] actually

[00:42:45] all the

[00:42:46] church

[00:42:46] events

[00:42:46] and everything

[00:42:47] was my

[00:42:47] dad's side

[00:42:48] so

[00:42:49] you know

[00:42:49] from a

[00:42:50] 14 year

[00:42:51] old

[00:42:51] you know

[00:42:52] I'm meeting

[00:42:52] all these

[00:42:53] people for

[00:42:53] the first

[00:42:53] time

[00:42:54] cousins

[00:42:55] aunts

[00:42:55] uncles

[00:42:57] I had

[00:42:58] I met

[00:42:58] I think

[00:42:58] I met

[00:42:59] like four

[00:42:59] or five

[00:42:59] uncles

[00:43:00] that I

[00:43:00] never

[00:43:01] met

[00:43:01] before

[00:43:01] my uncle

[00:43:02] and my aunt

[00:43:03] they drove

[00:43:04] from Illinois

[00:43:04] as soon as

[00:43:05] they heard

[00:43:05] what happened

[00:43:06] so that was

[00:43:07] like a six

[00:43:07] seven hour

[00:43:08] drive

[00:43:08] that they

[00:43:09] took the

[00:43:09] drive

[00:43:10] they ended

[00:43:11] up coming

[00:43:11] over that

[00:43:12] late that

[00:43:12] night

[00:43:14] all my

[00:43:14] aunts that

[00:43:15] lived in

[00:43:15] Kentucky

[00:43:16] they came

[00:43:18] my sister

[00:43:18] didn't come

[00:43:19] to the next

[00:43:19] day once

[00:43:20] everything was

[00:43:20] all cleaned

[00:43:21] up

[00:43:22] so she

[00:43:22] didn't come

[00:43:23] over to

[00:43:23] the next

[00:43:23] morning

[00:43:24] yeah

[00:43:25] and it was

[00:43:25] just like

[00:43:26] you know

[00:43:26] one you're

[00:43:27] shell shocked

[00:43:28] you know

[00:43:28] shocked from

[00:43:29] the situation

[00:43:30] but also

[00:43:30] it's like

[00:43:31] who are

[00:43:32] these

[00:43:32] you know

[00:43:32] random

[00:43:33] you know

[00:43:34] not random

[00:43:34] people

[00:43:35] but it's

[00:43:35] like

[00:43:35] I don't

[00:43:36] even

[00:43:36] know who

[00:43:37] Aunt Jaquita

[00:43:38] is

[00:43:39] you know

[00:43:40] I wish

[00:43:41] we were

[00:43:41] meeting on

[00:43:42] better terms

[00:43:42] you know

[00:43:44] you have

[00:43:45] people who

[00:43:46] want to come

[00:43:47] and they

[00:43:47] want to

[00:43:47] love on

[00:43:48] you

[00:43:48] but

[00:43:48] don't

[00:43:49] really

[00:43:49] know

[00:43:49] you

[00:43:50] right

[00:43:52] where

[00:43:53] was

[00:43:53] you

[00:43:53] right

[00:43:54] where y'all

[00:43:54] been at

[00:43:55] my old

[00:43:55] you know

[00:43:55] and I was

[00:43:56] you know

[00:43:56] 14

[00:43:56] my sister

[00:43:57] was 11

[00:43:58] so I

[00:43:58] was like

[00:43:58] you know

[00:44:00] and then

[00:44:01] and so after

[00:44:02] everything got

[00:44:03] cleaned up

[00:44:03] obviously I

[00:44:04] couldn't sleep

[00:44:04] the next day

[00:44:06] everybody decided

[00:44:07] to do family

[00:44:08] breakfast at

[00:44:08] Crackerboro

[00:44:09] I remember

[00:44:10] I remember not

[00:44:10] eating for five

[00:44:11] days

[00:44:11] like nothing

[00:44:12] and then the

[00:44:13] next day

[00:44:14] after we all

[00:44:15] had to go

[00:44:15] to Crackerboro

[00:44:16] and I

[00:44:17] remember

[00:44:17] only thing I

[00:44:18] remember

[00:44:18] about Crackerboro

[00:44:19] is I broke

[00:44:19] down crying

[00:44:20] at the table

[00:44:22] and then that

[00:44:23] was like

[00:44:23] I was like

[00:44:24] I don't

[00:44:24] want to

[00:44:25] you know

[00:44:25] eat

[00:44:27] right

[00:44:27] and I

[00:44:27] remember

[00:44:28] we had to

[00:44:28] throw all

[00:44:28] the Thanksgiving

[00:44:29] food away

[00:44:29] because my

[00:44:30] mom would

[00:44:30] cook her

[00:44:31] her Thanksgiving

[00:44:31] for the

[00:44:32] four of us

[00:44:33] and then she

[00:44:33] would

[00:44:33] we'd do

[00:44:34] the family

[00:44:35] dinner

[00:44:35] where we'd

[00:44:35] bring a dish

[00:44:36] so like

[00:44:37] all the food

[00:44:38] that she

[00:44:39] had cooked

[00:44:39] you know

[00:44:40] the night

[00:44:40] before Thanksgiving

[00:44:41] and on

[00:44:42] Thanksgiving

[00:44:43] you know

[00:44:43] we threw

[00:44:44] away

[00:44:44] obviously

[00:44:44] because nobody

[00:44:45] would

[00:44:45] you know

[00:44:46] three of us

[00:44:46] wasn't eating

[00:44:47] and so yeah

[00:44:48] I just remember

[00:44:49] that Crackerboro

[00:44:49] I was like

[00:44:50] man

[00:44:50] I really

[00:44:51] don't want

[00:44:51] to eat

[00:44:53] right

[00:44:53] you know

[00:44:54] not necessarily

[00:44:55] nothing wrong

[00:44:56] you know

[00:44:56] I love Crackerboro

[00:44:57] but just not

[00:44:58] at the

[00:44:59] you're still

[00:44:59] traumatized

[00:45:00] you're still

[00:45:01] like

[00:45:01] in the process

[00:45:02] waking up

[00:45:04] wake up to that

[00:45:05] situation

[00:45:05] the hospital

[00:45:07] the new family

[00:45:09] right

[00:45:10] you had a lot

[00:45:12] to process

[00:45:13] right

[00:45:13] at 14

[00:45:14] I can

[00:45:15] I mean

[00:45:15] I'm 48 now

[00:45:16] and I probably

[00:45:17] couldn't process

[00:45:18] half of that

[00:45:19] and at 14

[00:45:20] you're trying

[00:45:20] to process

[00:45:21] all this

[00:45:22] going on

[00:45:22] I think

[00:45:23] the difference

[00:45:24] would be

[00:45:25] as an adult

[00:45:25] you can verbalize

[00:45:27] yeah

[00:45:27] I can't process

[00:45:29] this

[00:45:29] and people

[00:45:30] will respect

[00:45:30] it

[00:45:31] but as a

[00:45:31] child

[00:45:32] even if

[00:45:33] you're letting

[00:45:33] them know

[00:45:34] I'm not ready

[00:45:35] for all of this

[00:45:36] they're gonna

[00:45:37] think

[00:45:38] well I know

[00:45:38] what's best

[00:45:39] right

[00:45:43] growing boy

[00:45:44] yeah

[00:45:46] right

[00:45:47] right

[00:45:48] bro but

[00:45:48] right

[00:45:49] now

[00:45:49] I got

[00:45:50] something

[00:45:50] going

[00:45:52] well

[00:45:53] I'm sorry

[00:45:54] go ahead

[00:45:54] and then

[00:45:55] the

[00:45:57] last part

[00:45:58] of that

[00:45:58] story

[00:45:59] is

[00:45:59] going back

[00:46:00] to school

[00:46:01] the next

[00:46:01] week

[00:46:03] it was

[00:46:04] just like

[00:46:05] that whole

[00:46:06] rest of that

[00:46:07] school year

[00:46:08] it was just

[00:46:09] like a

[00:46:10] somber

[00:46:10] like

[00:46:11] it almost

[00:46:11] felt like

[00:46:12] your own

[00:46:12] funeral

[00:46:12] like that's

[00:46:13] the best

[00:46:13] I could

[00:46:14] describe it

[00:46:15] it was

[00:46:15] like

[00:46:16] you're

[00:46:17] like

[00:46:18] invisible

[00:46:19] but you're

[00:46:20] too

[00:46:20] like

[00:46:21] like I

[00:46:21] walked on

[00:46:22] the bus

[00:46:22] and everybody

[00:46:23] is like

[00:46:23] you know

[00:46:24] it's like

[00:46:25] the opposite

[00:46:25] you know

[00:46:26] you think

[00:46:26] that

[00:46:27] and I

[00:46:28] say this

[00:46:28] to the

[00:46:29] viewers

[00:46:29] because you

[00:46:29] think

[00:46:30] that like

[00:46:31] you want

[00:46:32] that like

[00:46:33] to be seen

[00:46:34] or you know

[00:46:35] that celebrity

[00:46:35] type status

[00:46:36] but

[00:46:37] it was more

[00:46:38] of like

[00:46:39] I remember

[00:46:40] what

[00:46:41] yeah I remember

[00:46:42] and you know

[00:46:42] these are some

[00:46:42] of my best

[00:46:43] friends

[00:46:43] and like

[00:46:43] the hurt

[00:46:45] the most

[00:46:45] hurtful part

[00:46:46] is they all

[00:46:46] knew my dad

[00:46:47] right

[00:46:48] you know

[00:46:48] these are the

[00:46:49] same kids

[00:46:49] that would

[00:46:50] come over

[00:46:50] after school

[00:46:51] and play

[00:46:51] they played

[00:46:52] basketball

[00:46:53] with them

[00:46:53] and you know

[00:46:54] I had a

[00:46:55] best friend

[00:46:55] named Tony

[00:46:56] he would

[00:46:57] you know

[00:46:57] come over

[00:46:58] and spend

[00:46:58] the night

[00:46:58] you know

[00:46:59] play video

[00:46:59] games all

[00:47:00] night

[00:47:00] talk about

[00:47:01] girls

[00:47:01] you know

[00:47:01] do the

[00:47:01] teenage boy

[00:47:02] stuff

[00:47:02] you know

[00:47:03] my dad

[00:47:04] would buy

[00:47:04] pizza

[00:47:05] and give us

[00:47:06] soda

[00:47:06] and you know

[00:47:08] we used to get

[00:47:09] Krispy Kreme

[00:47:09] donuts

[00:47:10] so you know

[00:47:10] these are people

[00:47:11] that you know

[00:47:12] knew my dad

[00:47:13] for years

[00:47:13] I had a

[00:47:14] relationship

[00:47:14] with him

[00:47:15] also

[00:47:15] yeah

[00:47:16] right

[00:47:16] so they're

[00:47:16] like you know

[00:47:17] they're just

[00:47:18] shocked

[00:47:18] like I thought

[00:47:19] you know

[00:47:19] and like I said

[00:47:20] look like

[00:47:21] to preface the

[00:47:22] story you know

[00:47:22] they're thinking

[00:47:23] you know

[00:47:23] you got the

[00:47:24] coolest parents

[00:47:25] ever you know

[00:47:27] y'all got money

[00:47:28] y'all you know

[00:47:28] you got the

[00:47:29] basketball court

[00:47:30] you know

[00:47:30] y'all always

[00:47:31] got food

[00:47:31] you know

[00:47:32] you're well

[00:47:33] dressed every

[00:47:33] day

[00:47:33] you got the

[00:47:34] haircut

[00:47:35] every other

[00:47:36] week

[00:47:37] and

[00:47:37] I just

[00:47:38] remember

[00:47:39] walking to

[00:47:39] the school

[00:47:40] you know

[00:47:40] coming back

[00:47:41] that first

[00:47:41] day

[00:47:42] and I

[00:47:42] went

[00:47:42] I think

[00:47:42] they took

[00:47:43] me straight

[00:47:43] to the

[00:47:44] counselor's

[00:47:44] office

[00:47:45] the hardest

[00:47:46] part about

[00:47:46] the situation

[00:47:47] was like

[00:47:48] people

[00:47:48] like

[00:47:48] obviously

[00:47:49] you won't

[00:47:49] help

[00:47:49] but it's

[00:47:50] like

[00:47:50] you know

[00:47:50] leave me

[00:47:50] alone

[00:47:51] like

[00:47:51] right

[00:47:52] it was

[00:47:52] like

[00:47:53] too much

[00:47:53] help

[00:47:54] like

[00:47:55] right

[00:47:55] and then

[00:47:56] like

[00:47:56] the

[00:47:57] yes

[00:47:59] and then

[00:48:00] I learned

[00:48:00] to

[00:48:06] those

[00:48:07] are

[00:48:07] you know

[00:48:08] situations

[00:48:09] like

[00:48:09] yeah

[00:48:10] it's like

[00:48:11] yeah

[00:48:14] it's like

[00:48:14] I'm sorry

[00:48:15] for you

[00:48:15] or I'm

[00:48:16] sorry

[00:48:16] what

[00:48:16] happened

[00:48:16] or I'm

[00:48:17] like

[00:48:17] it's just

[00:48:18] like

[00:48:18] one of

[00:48:18] those

[00:48:18] like

[00:48:19] you're

[00:48:19] just

[00:48:19] looking

[00:48:19] for

[00:48:20] something

[00:48:20] to say

[00:48:21] but I

[00:48:22] know

[00:48:22] it's

[00:48:22] from

[00:48:22] the

[00:48:23] right

[00:48:23] right

[00:48:23] you know

[00:48:24] right

[00:48:24] spot

[00:48:25] in the

[00:48:25] heart

[00:48:26] so that's

[00:48:26] why

[00:48:26] I never

[00:48:26] really

[00:48:27] had

[00:48:27] you know

[00:48:28] got

[00:48:28] paid

[00:48:29] too

[00:48:29] much

[00:48:29] attention

[00:48:30] but it's

[00:48:30] just

[00:48:30] one

[00:48:30] of

[00:48:31] those

[00:48:31] like

[00:48:31] okay

[00:48:32] if

[00:48:32] I

[00:48:33] don't

[00:48:33] know

[00:48:33] because

[00:48:33] and I

[00:48:34] went to

[00:48:34] a big

[00:48:34] high

[00:48:34] school

[00:48:35] I think

[00:48:35] it was

[00:48:35] like

[00:48:36] 3,000

[00:48:37] plus

[00:48:38] in the

[00:48:39] high

[00:48:39] school

[00:48:39] so

[00:48:41] you know

[00:48:41] imagine

[00:48:42] you know

[00:48:42] 2,500

[00:48:43] kids

[00:48:44] you know

[00:48:45] they all

[00:48:45] saw you

[00:48:46] on the

[00:48:46] news

[00:48:46] every

[00:48:47] every

[00:48:48] class

[00:48:49] and then

[00:48:49] it was

[00:48:50] like

[00:48:50] and I

[00:48:51] was on

[00:48:51] a football

[00:48:52] team

[00:48:52] too

[00:48:52] so

[00:48:53] oh

[00:48:53] wow

[00:48:54] yeah

[00:48:54] it's

[00:48:55] like

[00:48:55] coaches

[00:48:56] like

[00:48:57] counselors

[00:48:58] and I

[00:48:58] was on

[00:48:59] the

[00:48:59] I

[00:48:59] think

[00:48:59] I

[00:49:00] did

[00:49:00] the

[00:49:00] FBLA

[00:49:01] like

[00:49:01] the

[00:49:02] so I

[00:49:02] was in

[00:49:02] a couple

[00:49:03] clubs

[00:49:03] too

[00:49:04] and I

[00:49:05] used to

[00:49:06] sell

[00:49:06] candy

[00:49:06] bars

[00:49:07] so

[00:49:07] you know

[00:49:08] so people

[00:49:09] like knew

[00:49:09] me

[00:49:10] and then

[00:49:11] it was

[00:49:11] like

[00:49:11] that sense

[00:49:13] of

[00:49:14] you know

[00:49:14] you're always

[00:49:15] you're looked

[00:49:15] at like

[00:49:15] the victim

[00:49:16] like

[00:49:16] you're literally

[00:49:17] like

[00:49:18] everybody's

[00:49:18] being extra

[00:49:19] nice to you

[00:49:19] for me

[00:49:19] like

[00:49:20] it's

[00:49:20] like

[00:49:20] your list

[00:49:20] if you

[00:49:21] ever seen

[00:49:21] that movie

[00:49:22] the Truman

[00:49:22] show

[00:49:23] it's kind

[00:49:23] of like

[00:49:23] that

[00:49:34] emotions

[00:49:34] yeah

[00:49:35] people

[00:49:35] buying

[00:49:35] you

[00:49:36] stuff

[00:49:36] or

[00:49:36] I

[00:49:37] think

[00:49:37] my

[00:49:37] you

[00:49:37] know

[00:49:38] my

[00:49:38] the

[00:49:38] teacher

[00:49:38] sent

[00:49:39] my mom

[00:49:39] cards

[00:49:39] and

[00:49:40] just

[00:49:40] stuff

[00:49:40] and

[00:49:41] but I

[00:49:41] will

[00:49:41] say

[00:49:42] they

[00:49:42] helped

[00:49:42] my mom

[00:49:43] get

[00:49:43] Christmas

[00:49:44] for us

[00:49:44] they

[00:49:45] helped

[00:49:45] a lot

[00:49:45] of like

[00:49:46] they're

[00:49:46] very

[00:49:46] supportive

[00:49:47] you know

[00:49:47] people

[00:49:48] during

[00:49:48] the process

[00:49:49] like

[00:49:50] I said

[00:49:50] ended up

[00:49:50] moving

[00:49:51] to

[00:49:51] Indiana

[00:49:52] my

[00:49:53] parents

[00:49:53] or my

[00:49:53] grandparents

[00:49:54] at the

[00:49:54] time

[00:49:55] lived

[00:49:55] in

[00:49:55] Columbus

[00:49:56] so

[00:49:56] my

[00:49:56] mom

[00:49:57] was

[00:49:57] able

[00:49:57] to

[00:49:57] get

[00:49:57] an

[00:49:57] apartment

[00:49:57] in

[00:49:58] Indiana

[00:49:58] so

[00:50:00] also

[00:50:00] with

[00:50:00] the

[00:50:19] family

[00:50:19] you know

[00:50:20] in

[00:50:20] Kentucky

[00:50:21] mostly

[00:50:21] one

[00:50:22] I

[00:50:22] just

[00:50:23] met

[00:50:23] these

[00:50:23] people

[00:50:23] when

[00:50:24] I

[00:50:24] almost

[00:50:24] died

[00:50:25] and

[00:50:26] then

[00:50:27] you know

[00:50:28] now

[00:50:28] you gotta

[00:50:29] some of

[00:50:29] them are

[00:50:30] still

[00:50:30] here

[00:50:30] so

[00:50:30] you

[00:50:31] build

[00:50:31] those

[00:50:31] relationships

[00:50:31] and

[00:50:32] you

[00:50:32] gotta

[00:50:32] go

[00:50:32] back

[00:50:33] I'm

[00:50:33] sure

[00:50:34] that

[00:50:34] her

[00:50:35] family

[00:50:37] had

[00:50:37] a lot

[00:50:38] of

[00:50:38] emotion

[00:50:39] to voice

[00:50:40] about

[00:50:40] the

[00:50:40] situation

[00:50:41] so

[00:50:42] you're

[00:50:43] trying

[00:50:43] to process

[00:50:44] things

[00:50:44] as a

[00:50:44] teenager

[00:50:45] knowing

[00:50:45] that

[00:50:46] this

[00:50:46] is

[00:50:46] your

[00:50:46] father

[00:50:47] and

[00:50:47] I

[00:50:47] know

[00:50:48] that

[00:50:48] her

[00:50:49] family

[00:50:49] your

[00:50:49] mom's

[00:50:50] family

[00:50:50] didn't

[00:50:50] have

[00:50:51] a lot

[00:50:51] of

[00:50:52] good

[00:50:52] to say

[00:50:52] about

[00:50:52] him

[00:50:53] I'm

[00:50:53] sure

[00:50:53] so

[00:50:54] just

[00:50:54] trying

[00:50:55] to

[00:50:55] deal

[00:50:55] with

[00:50:56] all

[00:50:56] of

[00:50:56] that

[00:50:56] that's

[00:50:56] a lot

[00:50:57] for

[00:50:58] an

[00:50:58] adult

[00:50:58] so

[00:50:58] I

[00:50:58] couldn't

[00:50:59] even

[00:50:59] imagine

[00:50:59] as

[00:51:00] a

[00:51:00] 14

[00:51:01] year

[00:51:01] old

[00:51:01] wow

[00:51:03] okay

[00:51:04] how

[00:51:04] long

[00:51:05] of a

[00:51:06] time

[00:51:06] from

[00:51:07] you guys

[00:51:09] getting

[00:51:09] back

[00:51:09] and

[00:51:10] meeting

[00:51:10] the

[00:51:10] family

[00:51:10] to

[00:51:11] you

[00:51:11] guys

[00:51:11] moving

[00:51:12] to

[00:51:12] Indiana

[00:51:17] so

[00:51:18] I

[00:51:19] November

[00:51:19] 27th

[00:51:20] that

[00:51:20] Black

[00:51:21] Friday

[00:51:22] finished

[00:51:23] the school

[00:51:23] year

[00:51:23] out

[00:51:24] in

[00:51:24] May

[00:51:25] and

[00:51:26] then

[00:51:26] we

[00:51:26] moved

[00:51:27] like

[00:51:27] a

[00:51:27] week

[00:51:27] after

[00:51:28] the

[00:51:28] school

[00:51:28] year

[00:51:28] ended

[00:51:28] we

[00:51:29] actually

[00:51:29] she had

[00:51:30] some

[00:51:30] family

[00:51:31] friends

[00:51:31] that

[00:51:31] helped

[00:51:31] us move

[00:51:32] everything

[00:51:32] to

[00:51:32] Indiana

[00:51:33] she

[00:51:34] was able

[00:51:34] to

[00:51:34] get

[00:51:34] a

[00:51:35] town

[00:51:36] home

[00:51:36] in

[00:51:36] Greenwood

[00:51:37] Indiana

[00:51:37] which

[00:51:37] was

[00:51:37] about

[00:51:38] 40

[00:51:38] minutes

[00:51:38] from

[00:51:38] my

[00:51:39] grandparents

[00:51:41] got

[00:51:41] us

[00:51:42] registered

[00:51:42] so

[00:51:43] that

[00:51:43] was

[00:51:44] a

[00:51:45] really

[00:51:45] quick

[00:51:45] turnaround

[00:51:46] so

[00:51:46] I

[00:51:46] literally

[00:51:46] had

[00:51:48] obviously

[00:51:48] still

[00:51:49] trying

[00:51:49] to

[00:51:49] go

[00:51:49] and

[00:51:49] process

[00:51:50] through

[00:51:50] everything

[00:51:52] but

[00:51:52] basically

[00:51:53] had

[00:51:53] I

[00:51:54] want

[00:51:55] to

[00:52:03] we

[00:52:03] left

[00:52:03] like

[00:52:03] two

[00:52:04] weeks

[00:52:04] after

[00:52:04] school

[00:52:05] ended

[00:52:05] so

[00:52:06] like

[00:52:06] literally

[00:52:06] right

[00:52:07] after

[00:52:07] school

[00:52:07] ended

[00:52:08] yeah

[00:52:08] also

[00:52:09] if you

[00:52:10] mind

[00:52:10] sharing

[00:52:11] what

[00:52:11] were

[00:52:12] the

[00:52:12] results

[00:52:12] as far

[00:52:13] as your

[00:52:14] father

[00:52:14] and

[00:52:15] also

[00:52:16] going

[00:52:17] from

[00:52:17] that

[00:52:17] point

[00:52:18] to

[00:52:18] moving

[00:52:19] away

[00:52:19] are you

[00:52:20] still

[00:52:20] communicating

[00:52:21] with

[00:52:21] family

[00:52:22] members

[00:52:22] or how

[00:52:23] is your

[00:52:23] relationship

[00:52:23] with him

[00:52:24] now

[00:52:24] so

[00:52:25] first

[00:52:25] answer

[00:52:26] to

[00:52:26] the

[00:52:26] question

[00:52:26] so

[00:52:27] when

[00:52:33] he

[00:52:33] violated

[00:52:34] DVO

[00:52:34] he

[00:52:35] got

[00:52:35] all

[00:52:36] this

[00:52:36] when

[00:52:36] we

[00:52:36] went

[00:52:37] to

[00:52:37] Indiana

[00:52:37] all

[00:52:38] this

[00:52:38] like

[00:52:39] the

[00:52:39] court

[00:52:39] case

[00:52:39] was

[00:52:39] still

[00:52:40] going

[00:52:40] on

[00:52:40] so

[00:52:40] at

[00:52:41] first

[00:52:42] he

[00:52:42] didn't

[00:52:42] want

[00:52:42] to

[00:52:42] plea

[00:52:43] so

[00:52:43] we

[00:52:43] were

[00:52:43] going

[00:52:44] to

[00:52:44] go

[00:52:59] all

[00:53:03] minor

[00:53:04] violation

[00:53:04] of

[00:53:04] domestic

[00:53:05] violence

[00:53:05] so

[00:53:05] he

[00:53:05] ended

[00:53:05] up

[00:53:06] getting

[00:53:06] I

[00:53:06] think

[00:53:06] it

[00:53:06] was

[00:53:06] 15

[00:53:07] to

[00:53:07] 20

[00:53:08] but

[00:53:08] he

[00:53:09] got

[00:53:09] out

[00:53:09] on

[00:53:09] 10

[00:53:09] years

[00:53:10] in

[00:53:10] good

[00:53:10] behavior

[00:53:11] so

[00:53:11] he

[00:53:12] got

[00:53:12] out

[00:53:12] in

[00:53:12] 2019

[00:53:32] I

[00:53:33] was

[00:53:33] actually

[00:53:33] about

[00:53:33] to

[00:53:34] do

[00:53:34] a

[00:53:34] presentation

[00:53:34] I

[00:53:35] looked

[00:53:36] at

[00:53:36] my

[00:53:36] phone

[00:53:36] saw

[00:53:37] the

[00:53:37] text

[00:53:37] it

[00:53:37] was

[00:53:38] an

[00:53:38] unknown

[00:53:38] 859

[00:53:39] number

[00:53:39] that's

[00:53:40] the

[00:53:40] Kentucky

[00:53:40] area

[00:53:40] told

[00:53:41] it

[00:53:42] was

[00:53:42] him

[00:54:01] I

[00:54:03] what

[00:54:03] happened

[00:54:03] this

[00:54:04] is

[00:54:04] what

[00:54:04] happened

[00:54:04] this

[00:54:05] is

[00:54:05] my

[00:54:05] situation

[00:54:06] you

[00:54:06] know

[00:54:06] this

[00:54:06] is

[00:54:07] what

[00:54:07] I

[00:54:07] was

[00:54:07] going

[00:54:07] through

[00:54:08] no

[00:54:08] kind

[00:54:08] of

[00:54:08] reconciliation

[00:54:10] so

[00:54:10] and then

[00:54:11] also

[00:54:11] his

[00:54:12] mother

[00:54:12] so

[00:54:13] I

[00:54:13] still

[00:54:13] talk

[00:54:13] to

[00:54:13] her

[00:54:14] occasionally

[00:54:14] but

[00:54:14] so

[00:54:15] again

[00:54:15] like

[00:54:15] I

[00:54:16] told

[00:54:16] you

[00:54:16] earlier

[00:54:16] my

[00:54:17] mom's

[00:54:18] mom

[00:54:18] died

[00:54:18] when

[00:54:19] I

[00:54:19] was

[00:54:19] two

[00:54:20] okay

[00:54:20] so

[00:54:21] I

[00:54:21] remember

[00:54:22] and my

[00:54:22] mom

[00:54:23] didn't

[00:54:23] want to

[00:54:23] tell

[00:54:24] she

[00:54:24] ended

[00:54:24] up

[00:54:24] telling

[00:54:24] me

[00:54:24] this

[00:54:25] years

[00:54:25] later

[00:54:26] because

[00:54:27] obviously

[00:54:27] I was

[00:54:27] too

[00:54:33] but

[00:54:33] I

[00:54:33] remember

[00:54:34] so

[00:54:34] my

[00:54:34] his

[00:54:35] mom

[00:54:35] had

[00:54:35] sent

[00:54:36] her

[00:54:36] my

[00:54:36] mom

[00:54:36] a

[00:54:36] letter

[00:54:37] and

[00:54:37] I

[00:54:37] remember

[00:54:38] her

[00:54:38] like

[00:54:38] talking

[00:54:39] about

[00:54:39] my

[00:54:40] mom's

[00:54:41] dead

[00:54:41] mom

[00:54:41] in

[00:54:41] the

[00:54:42] letter

[00:54:42] and

[00:54:43] so

[00:54:43] that's

[00:54:44] so

[00:54:44] like

[00:54:44] I

[00:54:44] still

[00:55:31] so

[00:55:33] and

[00:55:33] then

[00:55:34] but yeah

[00:55:34] I do

[00:55:35] talk to

[00:55:35] you know

[00:55:35] my

[00:55:36] grandmother

[00:55:36] his

[00:55:36] mom

[00:55:36] and

[00:55:37] then

[00:55:37] I

[00:55:37] actually

[00:55:38] quick

[00:55:39] fun

[00:55:39] fact

[00:55:39] so

[00:55:40] his

[00:55:40] dad

[00:55:41] I

[00:55:42] found

[00:55:42] out

[00:55:43] I

[00:55:43] didn't

[00:55:43] know

[00:55:43] I

[00:55:43] so

[00:55:44] I

[00:55:44] never

[00:55:44] met

[00:55:44] my

[00:55:44] granddad

[00:55:46] ever

[00:55:46] from

[00:55:47] his

[00:55:47] dad

[00:55:47] so

[00:55:48] he

[00:55:49] my

[00:55:50] grandma

[00:55:50] ended up

[00:55:51] getting

[00:55:51] so him

[00:55:52] and

[00:55:52] so I

[00:55:52] have

[00:55:52] an

[00:55:52] aunt

[00:55:53] Sharon

[00:55:53] that's

[00:55:53] his

[00:55:54] sister

[00:55:55] I

[00:55:55] knew

[00:55:56] of

[00:55:56] her

[00:55:56] but

[00:55:57] didn't

[00:55:57] you know

[00:55:58] I

[00:55:58] only

[00:55:58] met

[00:55:58] her

[00:55:58] once

[00:55:59] so

[00:55:59] I

[00:56:00] ended

[00:56:00] up

[00:56:00] meeting

[00:56:00] my

[00:56:00] granddad

[00:56:01] for

[00:56:01] the

[00:56:01] first

[00:56:01] time

[00:56:02] when

[00:56:03] I

[00:56:03] went

[00:56:03] back

[00:56:03] to

[00:56:03] Kentucky

[00:56:04] in

[00:56:04] 2017

[00:56:06] when

[00:56:06] I

[00:56:06] first

[00:56:06] had

[00:56:07] a

[00:56:07] twin

[00:56:07] so

[00:56:07] I

[00:56:07] ended

[00:56:08] up

[00:56:08] meeting

[00:56:08] my

[00:56:08] we

[00:56:08] had

[00:56:09] like

[00:56:09] a

[00:56:09] video

[00:56:09] call

[00:56:10] and

[00:56:10] stuff

[00:56:11] like

[00:56:11] that

[00:56:11] so

[00:56:11] I

[00:56:12] ended

[00:56:12] up

[00:56:12] meeting

[00:56:12] him

[00:56:12] but

[00:56:13] I

[00:56:13] also

[00:56:13] have

[00:56:13] a

[00:56:14] half

[00:56:14] sister

[00:56:14] through

[00:56:15] my

[00:56:15] dad

[00:56:15] I

[00:56:16] didn't

[00:56:16] meet

[00:56:16] her

[00:56:17] me

[00:56:17] and

[00:56:17] my

[00:56:17] sister

[00:56:17] didn't

[00:56:17] meet

[00:56:18] her

[00:56:18] until

[00:56:18] we

[00:56:18] were

[00:56:18] 12

[00:56:19] and

[00:56:20] when

[00:56:20] he

[00:56:21] got

[00:56:21] out

[00:56:21] of

[00:56:21] jail

[00:56:45] he

[00:56:45] and

[00:56:46] then

[00:56:46] what

[00:56:47] was

[00:56:47] the

[00:56:47] second

[00:56:47] question

[00:56:48] again

[00:56:48] sir

[00:56:48] you

[00:56:49] pretty

[00:56:49] much

[00:56:50] answered

[00:56:50] the

[00:56:50] family

[00:56:51] and

[00:56:52] how

[00:56:52] you

[00:56:52] guys

[00:56:52] get

[00:56:52] along

[00:56:53] and

[00:56:54] what

[00:56:54] happened

[00:56:55] with

[00:56:55] it

[00:56:55] right

[00:56:56] yeah

[00:56:56] all

[00:56:57] right

[00:56:57] so

[00:56:58] for

[00:56:59] and

[00:56:59] you've

[00:56:59] given

[00:57:00] tips

[00:57:00] about

[00:57:01] your

[00:57:01] story

[00:57:02] yeah

[00:57:02] so

[00:57:03] one

[00:57:04] last

[00:57:04] tip

[00:57:05] if

[00:57:05] there

[00:57:05] is

[00:57:05] a

[00:57:06] person

[00:57:06] who

[00:57:06] is

[00:57:06] in

[00:57:07] a

[00:57:07] situation

[00:57:07] they

[00:57:08] have

[00:57:08] that

[00:57:08] fear

[00:57:09] they

[00:57:09] don't

[00:57:09] know

[00:57:09] what's

[00:57:10] next

[00:57:10] what's

[00:57:11] the

[00:57:11] one

[00:57:11] thing

[00:57:12] that

[00:57:12] you

[00:57:12] would

[00:57:12] tell

[00:57:13] them

[00:57:13] if

[00:57:14] you

[00:57:14] had

[00:57:14] one

[00:57:15] thing

[00:57:15] that

[00:57:15] you

[00:57:15] could

[00:57:16] say

[00:57:16] to

[00:57:16] help

[00:57:16] make

[00:57:17] a

[00:57:17] difference

[00:57:17] what

[00:57:17] would

[00:57:17] you

[00:57:18] tell

[00:57:18] them

[00:57:18] one

[00:57:19] tip

[00:57:19] I

[00:57:19] would

[00:57:20] say

[00:57:20] would

[00:57:20] be

[00:57:21] find

[00:57:22] somebody

[00:57:23] that

[00:57:23] has

[00:57:24] more

[00:57:24] knowledge

[00:57:25] than

[00:57:25] you

[00:57:25] in

[00:57:25] the

[00:57:25] situation

[00:57:26] like

[00:57:26] find

[00:57:27] an

[00:57:27] escape

[00:57:27] route

[00:57:28] whether

[00:57:29] it's

[00:57:29] a

[00:57:29] pastor

[00:57:30] if

[00:57:42] always

[00:57:44] try

[00:57:45] to

[00:57:45] say

[00:57:45] find

[00:57:45] a

[00:57:45] neutral

[00:57:46] party

[00:57:46] even

[00:57:46] if

[00:57:47] it's

[00:57:47] like

[00:57:47] a

[00:57:47] friend

[00:57:48] who's

[00:57:48] outside

[00:57:49] of

[00:57:49] the

[00:57:49] family

[00:57:51] but

[00:57:53] then

[00:57:53] the

[00:57:53] caveat

[00:57:54] to

[00:57:54] that

[00:57:54] tip

[00:57:54] also

[00:57:55] is

[00:57:56] look

[00:57:57] at

[00:57:57] the

[00:57:58] results

[00:57:58] of

[00:57:58] who

[00:57:58] you're

[00:57:59] hanging

[00:57:59] around

[00:57:59] to

[00:58:01] for

[00:58:03] women

[00:58:04] out

[00:58:04] there

[00:58:04] listening

[00:58:04] and

[00:58:05] viewing

[00:58:06] if

[00:58:06] all

[00:58:07] your

[00:58:07] girlfriends

[00:58:08] ain't

[00:58:08] got

[00:58:08] a

[00:58:08] man

[00:58:09] maybe

[00:58:09] not

[00:58:10] you

[00:58:10] know

[00:58:10] you

[00:58:11] can

[00:58:11] listen

[00:58:12] to

[00:58:12] everybody

[00:58:13] but

[00:58:13] you

[00:58:13] know

[00:58:13] take

[00:58:14] advice

[00:58:14] but

[00:58:15] maybe

[00:58:16] that's

[00:58:16] not

[00:58:16] the

[00:58:16] person

[00:58:17] for

[00:58:17] your

[00:58:17] situation

[00:58:18] and

[00:58:18] then

[00:58:18] same

[00:58:19] thing

[00:58:19] for

[00:58:19] men

[00:58:20] you

[00:58:20] know

[00:58:21] if

[00:58:21] all

[00:58:21] your

[00:58:22] homeboys

[00:58:22] ain't

[00:58:22] got

[00:58:23] a

[00:58:23] wife

[00:58:23] you

[00:58:23] know

[00:58:24] yeah

[00:58:24] they

[00:58:25] might

[00:58:25] not

[00:58:25] be

[00:58:25] the

[00:58:26] best

[00:58:26] so

[00:58:27] I

[00:58:27] would

[00:58:27] definitely

[00:58:27] I've

[00:58:28] just

[00:58:28] always

[00:58:29] been

[00:58:29] cohort

[00:58:30] of

[00:58:30] just

[00:58:31] wisdom

[00:58:31] so

[00:58:31] I

[00:58:32] would

[00:58:41] find

[00:58:42] a

[00:58:42] mix

[00:58:42] of

[00:58:43] between

[00:58:43] so

[00:58:44] like

[00:58:44] maybe

[00:58:45] like

[00:58:46] more

[00:58:46] on

[00:58:46] the

[00:58:47] if

[00:58:48] you're

[00:58:48] in

[00:58:48] church

[00:58:48] maybe

[00:58:48] a

[00:58:49] deaconess

[00:58:49] or an

[00:58:50] evangelist

[00:58:50] somebody

[00:58:51] that

[00:58:51] you know

[00:58:51] you

[00:58:52] kind of

[00:58:52] like

[00:58:52] a

[00:58:52] first lady

[00:58:53] or

[00:58:53] somebody

[00:58:53] that

[00:58:54] you

[00:58:54] look

[00:58:55] up

[00:58:55] to

[00:58:55] that

[00:58:56] could

[00:58:56] guide

[00:58:57] you

[00:58:57] in

[00:58:57] the

[00:58:57] best

[00:58:57] direction

[00:58:58] and

[00:58:58] definitely

[00:58:58] like I

[00:58:59] said

[00:58:59] just

[00:58:59] seek

[00:59:00] higher

[00:59:00] count

[00:59:00] I

[00:59:01] can

[00:59:01] tell

[00:59:01] you

[00:59:02] that

[00:59:02] I

[00:59:02] know

[00:59:02] in

[00:59:03] our

[00:59:03] earlier

[00:59:03] years

[00:59:04] I

[00:59:11] church

[00:59:12] but

[00:59:12] you

[00:59:12] know

[00:59:12] they

[00:59:12] were

[00:59:13] like

[00:59:13] I

[00:59:13] guess

[00:59:14] you

[00:59:14] want

[00:59:14] to

[00:59:14] call

[00:59:14] them

[00:59:14] trustees

[00:59:15] they

[00:59:15] were

[00:59:15] small

[00:59:16] church

[00:59:16] but

[00:59:17] I

[00:59:17] drew

[00:59:18] close

[00:59:18] to

[00:59:18] them

[00:59:18] and

[00:59:19] these

[00:59:19] guys

[00:59:19] were

[00:59:19] older

[00:59:20] than

[00:59:20] me

[00:59:21] and

[00:59:21] they

[00:59:21] had

[00:59:22] been

[00:59:22] married

[00:59:22] for

[00:59:23] you

[00:59:23] know

[00:59:24] over

[00:59:24] at least

[00:59:24] over

[00:59:25] 10

[00:59:25] years

[00:59:26] and

[00:59:26] I

[00:59:27] saw

[00:59:27] how

[00:59:28] they

[00:59:28] were

[00:59:28] with

[00:59:28] their

[00:59:28] spouses

[00:59:30] and

[00:59:30] I

[00:59:30] was

[00:59:31] like

[00:59:31] man

[00:59:31] I

[00:59:31] need

[00:59:31] to

[00:59:31] get

[00:59:32] close

[00:59:32] to

[00:59:32] them

[00:59:32] brothers

[00:59:32] to

[00:59:33] find

[00:59:33] out

[00:59:33] what

[00:59:33] I

[00:59:33] needed

[00:59:34] to

[00:59:34] know

[00:59:35] to

[00:59:35] be

[00:59:36] you

[00:59:37] know

[00:59:37] a

[00:59:38] man

[00:59:38] you

[00:59:39] know

[00:59:39] what I

[00:59:39] saying

[00:59:39] because

[00:59:40] I

[00:59:41] respected

[00:59:42] them

[00:59:42] and

[00:59:43] that

[00:59:43] helped

[00:59:44] me

[00:59:44] talking

[00:59:44] to

[00:59:44] them

[00:59:44] brothers

[00:59:45] really

[00:59:46] just

[00:59:46] helped

[00:59:46] me

[00:59:46] understand

[00:59:47] okay

[00:59:47] yeah

[00:59:48] even

[00:59:48] though

[00:59:49] you're

[00:59:49] a

[00:59:49] Christian

[00:59:49] man

[00:59:49] you

[00:59:50] still

[00:59:50] had

[00:59:50] the

[00:59:50] same

[00:59:51] you

[00:59:51] know

[00:59:51] vices

[00:59:52] you

[00:59:53] still

[00:59:53] had

[00:59:53] that

[00:59:53] same

[00:59:54] fight

[00:59:54] and

[00:59:55] that

[00:59:55] also

[00:59:55] helped

[00:59:55] me

[01:00:03] okay

[01:00:03] then

[01:00:04] I

[01:00:05] need

[01:00:05] to

[01:00:05] seek

[01:00:06] advice

[01:00:06] from

[01:00:06] him

[01:00:07] so

[01:00:07] I

[01:00:07] ask

[01:00:07] him

[01:00:08] you

[01:00:08] know

[01:00:08] hey

[01:00:08] man

[01:00:08] what

[01:00:09] you

[01:00:09] think

[01:00:09] about

[01:00:09] this

[01:00:09] situation

[01:00:10] so

[01:00:10] that

[01:00:11] you're

[01:00:11] right

[01:00:11] you're

[01:00:11] right

[01:00:12] and

[01:00:13] another

[01:00:13] from

[01:00:14] right

[01:00:14] people

[01:00:15] yes

[01:00:15] the

[01:00:15] quote

[01:00:16] that

[01:00:16] you

[01:00:16] said

[01:00:17] about

[01:00:17] the

[01:00:17] people

[01:00:17] that

[01:00:18] you're

[01:00:18] around

[01:00:18] shout

[01:00:19] out

[01:00:19] to

[01:00:20] mama's

[01:00:21] friend

[01:00:21] and

[01:00:22] that

[01:00:23] first

[01:00:23] time

[01:00:23] who

[01:00:23] was

[01:00:23] on

[01:00:24] the

[01:00:24] phone

[01:00:24] and

[01:00:25] who

[01:00:25] called

[01:00:25] 911

[01:00:26] yes

[01:00:26] because

[01:00:27] you have

[01:00:28] some

[01:00:28] people

[01:00:28] who

[01:00:29] have

[01:00:29] that

[01:00:29] stay

[01:00:29] out

[01:00:30] of

[01:00:30] things

[01:00:30] mentality

[01:00:31] or

[01:00:31] what

[01:00:32] have

[01:00:32] you

[01:00:32] but

[01:00:33] and

[01:00:33] mama

[01:00:34] could

[01:00:34] have

[01:00:35] at

[01:00:35] that

[01:00:35] time

[01:00:35] thought

[01:00:36] no

[01:00:37] I'm

[01:00:37] not

[01:00:37] going

[01:00:37] to

[01:00:37] call

[01:00:37] at

[01:00:38] this

[01:00:38] point

[01:00:38] to

[01:00:39] get

[01:00:39] the

[01:00:40] police

[01:00:40] involved

[01:00:40] but

[01:00:41] because

[01:00:41] of

[01:00:41] your

[01:00:42] mom's

[01:00:43] friend

[01:00:43] doing

[01:00:43] that

[01:00:44] that

[01:00:45] paved

[01:00:45] the

[01:00:45] way

[01:00:45] for

[01:00:46] him

[01:00:46] to

[01:00:47] make

[01:00:47] sure

[01:00:47] that

[01:00:47] he

[01:00:47] received

[01:00:48] that

[01:00:49] consequence

[01:00:50] the

[01:00:51] second

[01:00:51] time

[01:00:53] that

[01:00:54] I

[01:00:54] want

[01:00:54] around

[01:00:54] me

[01:00:55] that

[01:00:55] are

[01:00:55] going

[01:00:56] to

[01:00:56] act

[01:00:57] in

[01:00:57] a

[01:00:58] situation

[01:00:58] so

[01:00:59] shout

[01:00:59] out

[01:00:59] to

[01:00:59] mama's

[01:01:00] friend

[01:01:00] because

[01:01:01] that

[01:01:02] ended

[01:01:02] up

[01:01:02] helping

[01:01:03] in

[01:01:03] the

[01:01:03] long

[01:01:03] run

[01:01:04] oh

[01:01:05] man

[01:01:06] you

[01:01:07] got

[01:01:07] a

[01:01:07] story

[01:01:07] brother

[01:01:08] yes

[01:01:08] you

[01:01:08] do

[01:01:08] wow

[01:01:09] and

[01:01:09] so

[01:01:10] thank

[01:01:11] you

[01:01:11] so

[01:01:11] much

[01:01:11] thank

[01:01:12] you

[01:01:15] we're

[01:01:15] gonna

[01:01:15] move

[01:01:16] into

[01:01:16] our

[01:01:17] less

[01:01:17] discuss

[01:01:17] topic

[01:01:19] and

[01:01:20] that

[01:01:20] one

[01:01:20] I'm

[01:01:20] excited

[01:01:21] about

[01:01:21] also

[01:01:22] so

[01:01:23] thank

[01:01:23] you

[01:01:23] so

[01:01:24] much

[01:01:24] thank

[01:01:24] you

[01:01:25] brother

[01:01:25] you're

[01:01:25] welcome

[01:01:25] thank

[01:01:30] you

[01:01:30] for

[01:01:30] listening

[01:01:30] to

[01:01:30] this

[01:01:31] episode

[01:01:31] with

[01:01:31] our

[01:01:31] special

[01:01:32] guests

[01:01:32] please

[01:01:33] join

[01:01:33] us

[01:01:34] for

[01:01:34] part

[01:01:34] two

[01:01:34] with

[01:01:35] our

[01:01:35] exciting

[01:01:35] guests

[01:01:36] on

[01:01:36] the

[01:01:36] next

[01:01:37] episode

[01:01:37] of

[01:01:38] the

[01:01:38] beyond

[01:01:38] I

[01:01:38] do

[01:01:38] podcast